The Overlord of Puluo

Li Banfeng vomited yellow bile, then green, then bitter, and finally salty water, until nothing more came out. When his stomach was completely empty, he stumbled and forced himself to his feet.

The record turned slowly on the gramophone as it sang in a soft, lilting voice, ”Husband dear~ Why must you fight such a bitter battle?”

Li Banfeng shook his head. ”If I end up winning, it won’t be a tough fight. Wifey, I’ll trouble you to clean up here. I’ll be right back.”

”Husband dear~ Where art thou going again?”

”To buy groceries.”

”This little wifey is not hungry today~ So husband dear~ You need not stray.”

Li Banfeng paused and glanced at the gramophone. ”Feeling sorry for me now?”

The gramophone replied sweetly, ”This little wifey~ loves her husband night and day~ My heart aches for thee in every way.”

Li Banfeng chuckled under his breath and left the Pocket Dwelling.

The needle swayed gently as a wisp of steam rose from the gramophone.

Its voice faded into a whisper. ”This is a man who will achieve great things.”

***

When Li Banfeng returned to the Branch Hall, the tea on the floor had already dissipated.

Shi Boyu lay motionless on the ground, and Li Banfeng didn’t approach recklessly.

He first picked up the keys. Whether Shi Boyu was dead or alive, Li Banfeng had to retrieve them, or he would not be able to leave the Branch Hall.

After putting the keys away, Li Banfeng picked up the teapot. A voice came from within the enchanted artifact, whispering in his ear, ”Are you cold? Do you want to get warm?”

Li Banfeng ignored it, pocketed the scissors on the floor, and walked toward Shi Boyu.

He first took out an iron ruler and jabbed it into Shi Boyu’s body.

Shi Boyu’s body trembled slightly. He was still alive, only unconscious.

Li Banfeng immediately opened his Pocket Dwelling and threw Shi Boyu inside.

He also stuffed in the steward who could turn into a ladybug, the Spycraft Cultivator with clairaudient ears, and anyone else who might have cultivation. Then he went up to the second floor to see whether there was anything in the house that he wanted.

Even after checking every bedroom, Li Banfeng found only five hundred thousand in cash. He couldn’t help thinking, How could a Branch Hall of the Jiangxiang Gang have so little money?

Suspecting he had missed something, he decided to search the house again. When he stepped back into the largest bedroom, he suddenly heard a whisper in his ear, ”Since fate brought you here, let us settle this once and for all. Fight me until one of us dies!”

The voice startled Li Banfeng, and he cried out inwardly, Who is it? Someone’s hiding in this room? Did they just come in, or have they been here all along? If they just entered, why didn’t I see them? And if they’ve been hiding here the whole time, why didn’t they attack when I first came in?

Li Banfeng quickly backed away from the source of the voice. He gripped the iron ruler in one hand, ready to fight, and held the key in the other, ready to flee at any moment.

After waiting for a long while, he saw no one. Then, a hidden compartment in the wall slowly opened.

A one-meter Tang saber[1] floated out of the compartment and said to Li Banfeng, ”Long clouds of jade obscure the snowy peaks, a solitary stronghold gazes toward Yumen Pass.[2] The hour of the decisive battle is upon us. Strike!”

Clang~

The Tang saber slid out of its sheath and aimed its blade straight at Li Banfeng.

What in the world is this? An enchanted artifact or a spirit-bound weapon? Li Banfeng wondered. Judging by how it could speak and even recite poetry, it must be an enchanted artifact. But if such a powerful item exists, why didn’t Shi Boyu carry it with him? This saber can fly! If he had used it against me, I wouldn’t have stood a chance.

The Tang saber spoke again. ”When the general’s long sword dances upon the wind and the warriors’ roar resounds, even the Nine Heavens tremble. [3] The hour is upon thee! Why delay thy strike?”

Li Banfeng remained expressionless as he asked, ”Aren’t you a saber? Why are you talking about dancing with a sword?”

The saber fell silent for a moment before speaking again. ”When intent and spirit are as one, all shall be well. Strike at me! This day, we stake our lives upon the blade!”

”It’s our first meeting. There’s no need to wager our lives just yet, right? How about another day?” Li Banfeng said seriously, trying to reason with the saber.

”Why should this day not serve as the day of our decisive battle?” The Tang Saber asked as it continued pointing its blade at Li Banfeng.

”I’ve been poisoned, and the toxins haven’t fully cleared. Even if you defeat me now, it wouldn’t be an honorable victory,” Li Banfeng said as he seriously tried to reason with the Tang Saber.

”So be it. I shall await thee until the sun rises.”

Clang~

With that, the Tang saber slid back into its sheath.

What a reasonable saber, Li Banfeng thought. He sheathed the Tang saber and was about to search for more valuables when the sound of footsteps came from downstairs.

”What happened? Where’s the branch master?”

”The branch master’s in the main hall. He hasn’t come out yet.”

”What’s with all this water on the floor?”

Someone’s back! Li Banfeng thought. He opened the window, entered his Pocket Dwelling, and tossed the key over the courtyard wall.

When he stepped out of the Pocket Dwelling again, he was already standing in the courtyard of the branch hall.

While no one was around, he staggered down Memorial Arch Street, slipped into String-Bead Alley, hid the keys in Chubby Qin’s courtyard, and entered his Pocket Dwelling.

When Li Banfeng told the Tang saber that toxins still lingered in his body, he had told the truth. At this moment, he lay on his bed with his entire body drenched in cold sweat.

Of all the corpses he had brought back, only Shi Boyu was alive. The gramophone had already consumed his soul, and the corpses had been sent to the outer room to feed the Crimson Lotus.

Hiss~

”Husband dear~ Why are you carrying that saber?”

Li Banfeng answered in a weak, breathless voice, ”Isn’t it obvious? It’s an enchanted artifact.”

”Husband dear~ Enchanted artifacts are wonderful indeed! But you can’t bring home every one you see~ It is even harder to rid yourself of this saber than of that teapot~”

As they spoke, the teapot suddenly opened its mouth. ”Are you cold? No matter your answer, I shall make you warm!”

The teapot was about to spray water when a puff of steam came forth from the gramophone and pinned the teapot down.

”Husband dear~ This teapot can’t be used anymore~ Let this little wifey seal it away for now, until you find a way to tame its flame~ Husband dear~ As for this saber~ Unless you win this saber in a duel, it will not recognize you as its master~”

Li Banfeng snorted. ”Then I’ll duel it! What’s there to fear?”

She lifted her voice in a clear, ringing cadence and sang, ”Husband dear, with your fighting strength today you would not survive a single exchange with it. One misstep and you would lose your life. Do not be rash.”

Her tones turned gentle and fierce as she sang again, ”This little wife would fight for you~ But if I strike too hard, I might destroy it. If I strike too lightly, it will refuse to yield. It’s hard to control how much strength I exert.”

No wonder Shi Boyu didn’t bring this saber with him. He never managed to subdue it, Li Banfeng thought to himself.

Li Banfeng’s guess that Shi Boyu had not yet subdued the saber was indeed correct.

As a branch master of the Jiangxiang Gang, how could he not have an enchanted artifact? In fact, he had traded away two other enchanted artifacts just to obtain this Tang saber.

Shi Boyu was a Poison Cultivator. His combat strength was not great, so he wanted to make up for it with a weapon. But the moment he made the exchange, he regretted it. The saber was very hard to control.

To make it his, he would have to defeat it once in battle. And even then, that would not be the end. He would have to fight it again in the future to keep its loyalty.

Regardless, Li Banfeng was not in the mood to think about these things. He threw the saber under the bed and soon drifted into a deep sleep.

***

At one in the afternoon the next day, Luo Zhengnan, Hall Master of the Medicine King Hall, arrived at the hall of the second branch wearing the Jiangxiang Gang’s signature gray Gatsby cap.

The Medicine King Hall was the team under Jiangxiang Gang that held the highest authority. When Luo Zhengnan became the master of Medicine King Hall, his first act was to move the main hall from the Inner Gully to the far edge of the Outer Gully.

At first, many people did not understand why. However, seeing the state of the second branch now, they somewhat understood why he had made that choice back then.

Luo Zhengnan sat down on the sofa, struck a match, and lit a cigarette. ”I’ve told you all before. When you’ve got nothing to do, go take a walk around the Outer Gully. Don’t hole yourselves up in the Inner Gully all the time. You wouldn’t listen. Now you see the good in staying in the Outer Gully, don’t you?

”Take our main hall, for example. There are twenty-three households living around us. I know every man, woman, youngster, and elder in those houses. I can tell right away if a stranger shows up. But what about you? You let a stranger waltz right into your branch hall and even get your branch master killed, yet you don’t even know what the bastard looks like. With the Inner Gully packed with people, how are you supposed to find him now?”

As Luo Zhengnan lectured them, Xiang Guicheng and Sun Xiao’an listened quietly and obediently. In truth, Luo Zhengnan treated his subordinates well for someone of his rank. With something this serious, another hall master might have already killed someone.

”There must be someone to manage things at the second branch hall,” Luo Zhengnan said. ”Guicheng, if I remember correctly, you have already reached level three, haven’t you?”

Xiang Guicheng nodded several times. ”Yes, I advanced to level three two years ago.”

Luo Zhengnan nodded. ”It’s only natural for a Redstaff Enforcer to take over as branch master. You will serve as the temporary branch master and get things running again.

”Old Sun, you have been in the second branch the longest. Truth be told, you should have been promoted long ago.”

Sun Xiao’an quickly bowed his head. ”Hall Master, it’s already a great fortune that you still accept an old bag of bones like me. From now on, I’ll follow Branch Master Xiang. This old life of mine is his to command.”

Xiang Guicheng hurriedly bent forward. ”Elder Brother, you flatter me.”

Luo Zhengnan waved his hand dismissively. ”Flatter you? Don’t take it too seriously. Do you even know how many branch masters he’s outlived?”

Xiang Guicheng did the math and realized it was true. Sun Xiao’an had served as the Heartkeeper at the second branch for over a dozen years. He had already ”sent off” three branch masters, and now Shi Boyu, who had only held the position for a few months, had been ”sent away” too.

Could I become the fifth? Xiang Guicheng wondered. At this moment, he thought the old man who loved puffing on his water pipe looked downright creepy.

Luo Zhengnan stood up and said, ”Find a quiet room, and post a few men outside to keep watch.”

Being the most familiar with the branch hall, Sun Xiao’an quickly led Luo Zhengnan to the branch master’s bedroom and stationed guards outside the door.

Luo Zhengnan entered the bedroom with two subordinates and locked the door behind them. He first took off his cap, peeled away the adhesive tape on his head, and pulled out the plug beneath it, revealing a hole in his skull.

One subordinate handed him an antenna, which Luo Zhengnan inserted into the hole in his skull. He adjusted it slightly until he found the right spot, then told the subordinate to secure it in place.

Another subordinate brought over a dial plate about twenty centimeters wide and attached it to Luo Zhengnan’s spine.

Luo Zhengnan shuddered. ”Slow down. The position isn’t quite right.”

The subordinate made a small adjustment, and Luo Zhengnan nodded. ”Dial it.”

The subordinate gripped the dial and began to turn it.

Whoosh, clatter, clatter~

Whoosh, clatter, clatter~

***

The call connected, and a voice rang in Luo Zhengnan’s ear. ”Dear listener, welcome to Afternoon Teahouse. Do you have any interesting stories you’d like to share with us today?”

Luo Zhengnan shot his subordinate a glare. ”Where the hell did you dial?”

The subordinate looked helpless. ”Hall Master, I didn’t dial the wrong number.”

Luo Zhengnan yanked out the antenna and jammed it back in.

With a click, the call disconnected, and the subordinate dialed again.

Whoosh, clatter, clatter~

This time, it went through.

Xiao Zhenggong was in a meeting at the Dark Star Bureau when his phone suddenly rang.

Seeing the caller ID, he murmured a quick explanation to Captain Chen and stepped out of the conference room, returning to his office.

”Don’t you fucking check the time before you call? Didn’t I tell you not to contact me during the day unless it’s something urgent?”

Luo Zhengnan’s cheek twitched and he tried his best to keep his tone under control. ”Boss, something’s happened in the gang. The master of the second branch has gone missing. He’s most likely dead.”

”If he’s dead, then he is fucking dead! What? Are you going to call for me if a rat dies in the gang tomorrow?”

”Boss, the thing is...the whole situation was weird. Second Branch Shi had just been promoted to this position not too long ago and he...”

Xiao Zhenggong interrupted, ”Handle the mess in your own hall yourselves. I told you to find Li Banfeng. Have you done that yet?”

”Not yet, sir. The kid hasn’t shown up once.”

Xiao Zhenggong’s brows knitted into a deep frown. ”Let me tell you something. I’ve received word that Zhuo Yuling is looking for Li Banfeng too.”

Luo Zhengnan froze. ”That can’t be. When did this happen? We haven’t heard a thing.”

”You haven’t heard a damn thing! What the hell am I keeping you idiots around for? You’re all worthless trash!”

The call ended with a click.

Luo Zhengnan pulled the antenna out of his skull and plugged the hole shut.

”That bastard’s something else. A branch master dies, and to him it’s no different from a dead rat!”

One subordinate removed the dial plate from Luo Zhengnan’s back. ”Hall Master, if you ask me, we shouldn’t have bothered the Boss about this.”

”You don’t understand the rules! If I tell him, it stays a small matter. If I don’t, it turns into a damn big one.”

Luo Zhengnan put his Gatsby cap back on and thought for a moment before speaking.

”I can’t shake the feeling these incidents are connected. Think about it. Chu Yunlong, the one stationed at the train station, vanished without a trace. Three people from our Second Branch are missing, with no bodies and no witnesses. The same thing happened to Geng Zhiwei from the Geng Family Medicinal Trading House. Could one person be behind all of this? Could it be the same person Boss Xiao wanted us to find?”

The subordinates looked at each other and shook their heads. ”Hall Master, we’re not too smart, and we can’t make sense of it. Whoever you say did it must’ve done it.”

”Bullshit! Since when does my word make it fact? Go back to the hall and get a few brothers to find out more about the Lu Family. See if they’ve made any moves lately.”

One of them said, ”I heard the Lu Family’s been searching for Lu Xiaolan lately.”

Luo Zhengnan shot him a glare. ”You don’t say? It’s all over the damn papers. Go find out if the Lu Family’s second concubine has been up to anything.”

1. The Tang Saber speaks in the manner of an honorable hero from the Tang Dynasty, so I hope to give him a more ancient and noble tone of speech. ☜

2. This line originates from the poem ”Seven Songs of the Frontier” (从军行七首·其四) by Wang Changling (王昌龄). In the original, it reads ”青海长云暗雪山.” which translates to how the long clouds above the Qinghai Lake cast a shadow over the snowy mountains. The line that follows in the novel is the same as what it is in the poem. This poem expresses the unyielding spirit and steadfast loyalty of Tang Dynasty soldiers stationed at the distant frontier. ☜

3. This originates from the poem Song of General Sima (司马将军歌) written by Li Bai (李白) in the Tang Dynasty. The poem praises the heroic might of General Sima, whose sword dance and battle cry shook the heavens. ☜