The Overlord of Puluo

Li Banfeng stabbed the pendulum straight into Rong Jin’an’s head.

Rong Jin’an dropped to the floor and twitched in violent spasms. However, Li Banfeng knew he was not dead. The act was convincing, but Li Banfeng could still sense danger coming from him.

He dragged him into the Pocket Dwelling only to make the dwelling spirit happy. Though strictly speaking, this gramophone could not be considered an actual dwelling spirit as Li Banfeng still could not call her by her name. For now, he could only call her his lady.

His lady had complained that the food was always stale, and knowing this filled Li Banfeng with shame.

Srkkk~~

The gramophone moved.

Clang, clang, clang~

The gramophone had been waiting a long time. ”Ah, my husband! How you dote upon your little wife, to grace me with such fresh offerings~”

Li Banfeng nodded. ”Please, my lady, partake of your feast.”

”I thank you, my good husband~”

A cloud of steam wrapped around Rong Jin’an and his body shook even harder.

Slurp, slurp~

Li Banfeng thought he heard the sound of noodles being slurped, though he could not tell what the gramophone was feeding on.

At this moment, the gramophone was devouring Rong Jin’an’s soul, unraveling it strand by strand. Only Rong Jin’an could feel it.

He felt like his flesh was being sliced away piece by piece. In that unbearable torment, he suddenly thought of Chubby Qin, who had also longed for death but could not find it.

While the lady busied herself with sucking away Rong Jin’an’s soul, Li Banfeng studied Rong Jin’an’s wound, wondering why there was no blood.

After a moment of careful observation, Li Banfeng figured out why. The wound was bleeding, but the pendulum devoured each drop the instant it surfaced, which was why no trace of blood was seen.

The pendulum could drink blood. It was a blood-drinking weapon, forged by fusing a blood-sucking blade with Luo Yuni’s pendulum.

Li Banfeng cast a glance at the bronze lotus flower. ”Why bother with something so unnecessary?”

But the lotus did not answer him.

Li Banfeng pulled the pendulum out from Rong Jin’an’s skull and saw that the pendulum, having drunk its fill of fresh blood, had turned from bright silver to reddish bronze. As he touched it, the texture felt nothing out of the ordinary.

At the bottom of the pendulum was a small screw for adjusting its length. Noticing it had come loose and was about to fall off, he tightened it with a couple of twists.

With that twist, golden grease spurted from the pendulum. Most of it splattered across the floor, while some sprayed onto the gramophone.

The lady, who had been slurping away Rong Jin’an’s soul, suddenly stopped. She swallowed the remaining half in one gulp, then softly sang in a slow, drawn-out rhythm, ”Ah~~ my husband~~ Do you not know~~ how hard it is~~ to wipe away this shining grease?”

The lyrics were gentle, yet carried a hint of murderous intent.

Hearing this, Li Banfeng picked up the mop in the room and began mopping the floor.

The gramophone sang again, ”Ah~~ my husband~~ this little wife~~ is greasy all over~~ How will you cleanse me~~ ah~~ cleanse me?”

Hearing this, Li Banfeng started wiping the gramophone’s casing with the mop.

”Ah~~ my husband~~ do you find it right~~ to wash your little wife~~ with a mop~~ with a mop~~?”

Each note she sang throbbed with greater killing intent.

Li Banfeng tossed the mop aside, took up a handkerchief, and carefully wiped her clean.

The gramophone continued its aria, ”Husband, ah~~ that wretched Crimson Lotus forged you a blade~~ yet never taught you its ways~~ She shows you no respect~~ none at all~~ If you will not scold her even a little, then what use is the law of the house~~?”

Li Banfeng turned, fixed his eyes on the bronze lotus flower, and bellowed, ”What you did was wrong!”

The bronze lotus flower opened its petals, as though weighed down with shame. It swallowed Rong Jin’an’s body and folded shut once more.

”She knows she did wrong!” Li Banfeng said as he continued wiping the casing.

The lady’s temper eased, and her voice softened into song. ”Ah~~ my husband has worked hard~~ Leave the chores~~ to your little wife~~”

As she sang, clouds of steam drifted forth. The grease on the floor and the gramophone’s casing vanished, gathered into the steam, and poured neatly into the water bucket.

When all was spotless, the gramophone sang again, ”O husband~~ ah~~ husband~~ bring forth the weapon~~ Let your little wife~~ hear what she will say~~ ah~~~~”

Hear what she will say? Can a pendulum talk? Can a pendulum even speak? Li Banfeng wondered as he placed the pendulum down next to the gramophone.

The gramophone and the pendulum seemed to converse, yet Li Banfeng heard nothing. Soon after, a wave of steam seared the pendulum until it glowed red-hot.

The gramophone struck a steady beat as she scolded the pendulum. ”Wretched thing! When you are spoken to, you will answer properly. How dare you talk back!”

The pendulum really was speaking with the gramophone, though Li Banfeng could not hear a word.

After a few more minutes, the gramophone sang slowly, ”My husband~~ Put this wretched thing away~~ From this day on~~ Call her Hanxue~~[1].”

Hanxue? What special meaning does this name carry? Li Banfeng thought. While still puzzled, he asked, ”She can drink blood? Then how is she any different from that short saber?”

Clang, clang, clang~ The gramophone replied, ”She drinks blood~~ ah~~ she drinks blood~~ But she may also spew it forth~~ spew it forth~~

”If she drinks the blood of an oil cultivator~~ ah~~ oil cultivator~~ She will spew oil~~

”If she drinks the blood of a smoking cultivator~~ She will spew smoke~~ spew smoke~~ ”

”And if she drinks the blood of an Inebriate Cultivator?”

”She can spew wine~~ ah~~ spew wine~~ ”

”And if she drinks the blood of a Gourmandism Cultivator?”

”She can spew blood~~ ah~~ spew blood~~ ”

”What use is spewing blood?”

”Oh~~ that is most useful~~

The blood of a Gourmandism Cultivator heals wounds~~

The blood of a Homebound Cultivator cleanses poisons~~

The blood of a Wanderlust Cultivator quickens the legs~~

And the blood of a Hedonism Cultivator~~ ah, my husband~~

Lets you ride unbridled in the pleasures of the bedchamber~~ Hoooooo-yaaaaaaaaa~~”

Li Banfeng suddenly understood. This Blood-Drinking Pendulum could spew not only at others, but at him as well.

Good weapon! Truly a fine weapon. Li Banfeng thought. He quickly put the pendulum away, meaning to ask more, but the gramophone’s flames flickered out and it fell silent.

Seeing that, Li Banfeng thought, My lady follows a strict routine. She always sleeps after she eats.

He was feeling a bit drowsy himself, so he lay down on the bed and stretched in comfort. The trip to the old hag’s house had indeed been rewarding! The only problem was that he still had no idea what purpose the red pill served.

Should I ask my lady? But she’s already asleep. I should ask that Mouth Cultivator instead. She’s read plenty of books so she must know something about pills. What was her name again?

…

Xiao Yeci and her daughter, Lu Chunying, stood before the gate of the He Family’s old residence and hesitated to step inside.

It was a grand estate with a wide courtyard, but there was not even a gatekeeper at the door.

The mansion was pitch dark, and it was impossible to tell if anyone was inside. Xiao Yeci turned to Lu Chunying and said, ”Nan’nan, don’t be afraid. Stay close to me.”

Lu Chunying thought for a moment and said, ”Mother, I still believe what that man said. We shouldn’t go in.”

”Where else can we go if we don’t come here? Didn’t we come all the way to Medicine King Gully to find your sister? We don’t have much money left. If we delay any longer, we might end up sleeping on the streets!”

After pacing back and forth at the gate, they made up their minds to walk into the courtyard.

As they stepped through the gate, Xiao Yeci said, ”Nan’nan, just follow Mother. Don’t be afraid. It was your sister who wrote to us and asked us to come. What is there to fear?”

Just as they passed through the gate, a faint light flickered inside the pitch-black mansion. It came from a candle burning on the second floor.

Lu Xiaolan appeared at the second-floor window. She was so thin she resembled a skeleton in clothes. She held a candle in one hand and waved at Xiao Yeci and her daughter.

”Come, come~”

Lu Xiaolan had no idea who these two people were. She didn’t know them. She had never written them a letter. She didn’t even know she had a long-lost sister. She couldn’t understand why this mother and daughter had come to the He Family’s old residence.

Other than Li Banfeng, she had no way to contact anyone. But it didn’t matter. It was enough that someone had come. If someone could take her place here, that would be good.

”Come, come~” Lu Xiaolan called out anxiously.

Xiao Yeci thought she heard Lu Xiaolan’s voice, but she could not be sure it truly came from Lu Xiaolan. She turned to her daughter and asked, ”Nan’nan, is that your sister?”

Lu Chunying shook her head and said, ”She doesn’t really look like her.”

Xiao Yeci thought for a moment, then asked, ”Didn’t you say you’ve never met your sister?”

”I haven’t,” Lu Chunying admitted. She glanced at the frail figure of Lu Xiaolan and shivered. ”But I feel like she doesn’t look like her.”

Xiao Yeci pursed her lips. ”If she doesn’t look like your sister, then we should go. It’s late, and it isn’t right to disturb anyone.”

”Then where should we go?” Lu Chunying asked in confusion. ”Are we really going to sleep on the street?”

Xiao Yeci pondered for a long time. At last she said, ”What about Steward Qiu? We can look for him and ask if he’ll arrange a place.”

Lu Chunying looked troubled. ”But we don’t even know who Steward Qiu is. Why should he acknowledge me?”

Xiao Yeci looked at Lu Xiaolan in the mansion and swallowed nervously. ”You don’t know who Lu Xiaolan is either, do you? Better to try our luck with Steward Qiu instead.”

As they spoke, Lu Xiaolan pounded hard on the window, as if she was urging them to come in quickly.

”Let’s go.” Xiao Yeci grabbed Lu Chunying’s hand and quickly led her away from the He Family’s old residence.

1. 含血 (han xue) literally means ”to hold blood in the mouth.” When used in the idiom 含血喷人, it means to slander or falsely accuse someone with malicious words, as if spitting blood at them. ☜