Gun of Ashes

Blue Jade spoke with precision.

”Hmm... pretty much.” Arthur surprisingly nodded in affirmation, then he sighed.

”Most of the Phoenix family has perished, leaving just me and her. The Purification Mechanism is still a high-risk department; once I’m gone, she’ll be alone... Eve won’t understand these things. She desperately wants to know who she is, but sometimes the truth can lead her into danger.”

Arthur’s expression was very downcast, as a member of Military Nobility, too many in the Phoenix family have died in the Radiant War, like Eve’s brothers. Towards the war’s end, they all sacrificed their lives, and Arthur lost all his children during that time.

”Like Lorenzo, perhaps?” Blue Jade asked.

Everything seemed to root from Lorenzo; that guy’s appearance dragged everyone into trouble, but Arthur shook his head. It was rare; he didn’t blame Lorenzo.

”It’s not his fault, like Merlin said, the connections with the Demons, with the darkness. Eve relied on them to survive, but likewise, those connections existed long ago. My years of effort merely delayed it. Even without Lorenzo’s arrival, there might have been someone else, something else, to bring her back to the embrace of darkness.”

Arthur was deeply worried.

”I worry for her, just like she sees my excessive pampering. Without it, perhaps the darkness would have taken her much sooner.”

Blue Jade felt Arthur’s concerns, the anguish of a father, not just a head of the Purification Mechanism.

”If only my father was like you,” Blue Jade murmured softly, recalling a memory both heavy and light.

”He’s a good man, but war can easily change people; even the strongest will can crumble under the bombardment,” Arthur said.

Blue Jade seemed a bit surprised, perhaps not expecting Arthur to know about her father. She spoke somewhat regretfully, ”It was Bola, right? I only told him.”

During the operation in Ende Town, they were encircled by Demons, facing death; they confided in each other, or rather recited last wills. It was at that time that Blue Jade revealed her hidden past to Bola.

”It wasn’t Bola. Do you really think the Purification Mechanism wouldn’t investigate your past?”

Arthur’s lips slightly curled up, showing an informal demeanor.

”Although the Purification Mechanism accepts capable people, there are some background checks.”

Blue Jade fell silent; she had killed her own father, believing it was the right thing to do. After so long, she was uncertain about right or wrong, merely answered briefly.

”That was my mistake.”

”People make mistakes; some can be saved, but some cannot be undone,” Arthur said slowly.

People always make mistakes, but some mistakes chase you like shadows, constantly reminding you of the pain, also making you vigilant.

”I don’t want Eve to become my mistake.” Since his wife passed away, he gave all his warmth to her.

”You could actually tell her,” Blue Jade seemed to understand these secrets, though not joining the Purification Mechanism early, she vaguely knew of those events.

”How could I tell her?” Arthur seemed troubled. ”Tell her it’s because of her that her mother died? It shouldn’t be like that, Blue Jade.”

Arthur usually didn’t smoke, but couldn’t resist taking a box of cigarettes from the drawer. It seemed very old, the paper wrinkled and yellowed.

”Since her death, I haven’t smoked... to be precise, I seldom did, only at times like this.”

Arthur ignited tobacco from who knows how many years back, with pungent fumes rising, but he inhaled without care.

”Eve is somewhat naive, childlike, with a strange sense of justice... it sounds stupid. But sometimes, this damned world is like that; honest people end up being ridiculed.”

Arthur recounted slowly, perhaps his work in recent days truly exhausted him, venting long-held frustrations.

”Crafty deceit lets one live longer.”

He sighed, ”But... it shouldn’t be this way, this world shouldn’t be this way. Yet sometimes I find Eve wanting to become a detective, punishing evil to uphold justice kind of silly.”

Arthur’s words were filled with contradiction and self-mockery.

”Thinking of this, I suddenly realized my fear of darkness. Staying too long within, I became such a person.”

He looked at Blue Jade, his tone filled with helplessness and fear.

”I’ve been ’corrupted’ by Demons; even my thoughts have become filthy. So-called ’punishing evil and upholding justice’ appears foolish to me. It shouldn’t be, I shouldn’t be.”

For some reason, Arthur suddenly thought of Lorenzo, that madman always spewing foul words, yet sometimes those foul words held strange philosophy.

”I’ve become such a dull adult.”

At this point, Arthur actually laughed. If not for Lorenzo constantly dragging Eve on adventures, he rather liked this detective. Even in deadly circumstances, he could crack jokes to lighten the mood, making the notion of death less oppressive.

Blue Jade beside him spoke calmly.

”When you gaze into the Abyss, the Abyss also gazes into you.”

”More than gazing now, Blue Jade, we’re already in the Abyss. Beneath the mortal facade, that heart of flesh hardens like stone.”

The cigarette went out, possibly dampened by long storage, failing to ignite fully. Arthur threw it on the ground, crushing it with his foot.

”But not Eve; she mustn’t step into the Abyss. She’s a good child, whether naive or childlike, it’s hers; it can’t be tainted by those filthy specters.”

”You’re like a towering tree, shielding all storms, allowing her to grow safely under your protection... but what if one day the tree falls?” asked Blue Jade.

Those words were like cold rain, extinguishing the anger Arthur had ignited, leaving the old fellow slumped in his chair, despondent.

”Yes, what happens if I die? Everyone eventually dies; who will care for her when I’m gone?”

Arthur murmured to himself, commanding armies, but at his core, he was just an ordinary person, an ordinary old fellow.

”My family, friends, those familiar are all dead, in the Radiant War or under the claws of Demons... the few remaining acquaintances are of Merlin’s sort, those Alchemists truly have hearts of stone, devoid of desire, seeking only Truth.”

This evening, he had sighed countless times; Arthur spoke slowly.

”Well, it’s been a while since I had such an emotional release. The older one gets, the harder it is to articulate many things.”

He looked at Blue Jade and continued, ”So can you help me?”

”I don’t know how,” Blue Jade wasn’t used to such requests, dealing with family disputes?

”You have similar personalities; just talk to her more. Eve doesn’t have many friends; sometimes status becomes a constraint.”

Blue Jade remained silent, her expression seeming somewhat helpless. Arthur continued.

”Consider it part of your performance and bonus.”

Blue Jade fell into deeper silence, finally speaking after a long pause, ”Will she understand you?”

Arthur didn’t want Eve to know those things; he dared not think of the results if she learned the truth, a somewhat naive and childlike girl. The cruel truth might turn her heart to iron and stone; the world doesn’t lack flowers like her, but to Arthur, she is the only one.

”She will understand, Eve will understand. It’s just a matter of time.” Arthur seemed extremely confident. He looked at Blue Jade.

”Didn’t you also come to understand your father?”

Blue Jade was taken aback, unsure how to respond; an odd sorrow welled up from beneath her heart of iron and stone, as if everything returned to that snowy night, when that man drunkenly collapsed in the snow, her mother pleading desperately, while she remained silent.

”Perhaps,” she replied.