I Am Your Natural Enemy

Chapter 194: Chapter 101 Wandering Merchants, Resurrection Cross (5k)_3

”Cut the act, come on, spill it, what the hell is going on here?”

Four-eyed Mole Cricket opened its eyes, looking clear-headed, curled up with its tail tucked between its legs in the corner of the tricycle.

”Don’t give me that, a stray merchant’s pet with no spiritual intelligence? Who are you trying to fool.”

Four-eyed Mole Cricket’s ears drooped, and it replied weakly,

”Don’t bother, no one else can open it. That’s the rule—if robbing stray merchants was that easy, everyone would do it.”

”Forget it, I’ll just donate it all to the Scorching Sun Department tomorrow.”

Four-eyed Mole Cricket stared at Wen Yan in horror, absolutely never expecting Wen Yan to be this much of a bastard.

Donate it to the Scorching Sun Department? Even if the Jade Emperor himself comes, he can forget about taking it back.

The Scorching Sun Department has been itching to get their hands on anything with spatial traits for ages. They even tried to borrow some stuff from Old Meng for research; Old Meng said no.

Tried to buy it? Old Meng wouldn’t sell. And with the rest of his things, he couldn’t find anything suitable to sell anyway.

Who would have thought that today, taking advantage of being dead once, the whole vehicle got swiped easy as pie.

”Let’s talk this out, let’s talk this out, no need to threaten me with stuff like that, alright?”

”Start from the top. How’d you get here? Don’t bullshit me. See that turtle on the next vehicle over?”

”Yeah, saw it.”

”Local Water God. Try to fool me and I won’t even bother listening, I’ll kill you on the spot and drag you back to make soup. I’m known to be chill, but if you get on the wrong side of that guy from earlier, he won’t even let you speak. He’ll just straight up kill you. Think twice before opening your mouth.”

Four-eyed Mole Cricket hadn’t seen Old Meng, and it was clear Old Meng wouldn’t dare set foot in this villa area again. Now it was totally lost and could only spill the truth.

”So, did you sense some unique, one-of-a-kind treasure?”

”Right in front of Brother Gou, you’re saying you came just to buy some ’unique treasure’?”

”Ha...hahaha...”

Wen Yan couldn’t help but crack up.

He looked at Four-eyed Mole Cricket in confusion and thought, hell, for that guy, the real one-of-a-kind treasures in the world are his own daughter and the cheap son he just got.

Honestly, say what you want about stray merchants, but their balls are massive.

Daring to say that kind of thing on the first day Pei Tugou moves in and right to his face.

”No bullshit, I’m being honest here, don’t doubt it.

The guy only killed that old man once today, probably ’cause it’s moving day, and tomorrow morning one kid’s gotta go to school, another kid’s still sleeping, so he didn’t want to make a big scene. Just went a little easy on him.

If it happened outside, that old man would’ve had his guts yanked out, braided into a flower and hung around his own neck, no joke.

No telling what trick or weird treasure the old man used to escape this time.

But honestly, if it was any other day, my bro could camp there and kill him a hundred, eighty times just for kicks.”

Four-eyed Mole Cricket’s ears flopped even lower. It actually believed that.

With that kind of killing intent, if you told it he killed a few people as a warm-up each morning, it’d believe you.

The other guy probably knew Old Meng was up to something sneaky but didn’t show up again—obviously today wasn’t an auspicious day to kill.

”So tell me—what’s it gonna take for you to hand that stuff back?”

”If he’s so badass, can’t he just summon it back himself?”

”Only if he dies—then the stuff goes to the next stray merchant. You snagged these things right when he died and found an impossible loophole in the rules.”

”So he really died?” Wen Yan was actually curious about that.

”Yep, he died once. But he’s got a treasure he traded for back in Europa, called the Resurrection Cross—one free resurrection.”

”So, that’s die for real then come back, or like a one-time substitute death?”

”How should I know?”

”Give me ten—no, forget it, five Resurrection Crosses, and I’ll return all the stuff to him.”

”Hssss...” Four-eyed Mole Cricket sucked in a breath. ”Five? You’re dreaming—Old Meng only had one, and he burned it here.”

”Then what the hell are we even talking about, I’m going to bed.”

”No, no, hold up, let’s talk this out, go negotiate with Old Meng, please.”

”No, I’m worried that slick bastard will try to scam me. I’d rather deal with you. You go tell him what we agree on. If it works, fine, if not, tomorrow morning I’ll get up and donate all this stuff—and you—to the Scorching Sun Department.”

”...” Four-eyed Mole Cricket was so mad it wanted to bare its teeth. How could one guy be such a bastard?

Seeing Four-eyed Mole Cricket stay silent, Wen Yan really did just head back inside.

Four-eyed Mole Cricket looked around and, seeing it was quiet, hesitated for a second, then gritted its teeth, hopped on the tricycle, and tried to drive it away.

But the moment it left the courtyard, it sensed danger—something was watching it.

It turned back, and under the veranda sat a Little Zombie on the steps, cradling a tomato and happily sucking the juice.

Up on the porch was a Cat-Headed Bird, eyeing it sideways with utter disdain.

No one was actually stopping it.

Four-eyed Mole Cricket thought it over and chickened out, did a loop, and drove the tricycle back into the courtyard.

”Ahem, just giving it a try, never got to drive it before—Old Meng never let me...”

Seeing that nobody cared, Four-eyed Mole Cricket hopped off the tricycle.

”I’ll go talk to Old Meng—anyway, this doesn’t really count as robbery, you took it when he was dead, which technically follows the rules...”

Four-eyed Mole Cricket, seeing no one was stopping it, left the yard. After a few tests, it headed directly north.

Just getting to the backyard, it saw five lopsided heads stacked on top of each other at a window in the villa behind, staring right at it.

In another window, Old Zhao’s face was dark as a thundercloud, glaring at it too.

Four-eyed Mole Cricket thought, Old Meng’s screwed this time—what sort of freakshow place did we wander into? Who the hell are these people?

It was just that the last few heists had gone too smooth, got Old Meng feeling cocky, and this time he finally hit metal.

If it weren’t for that Resurrection Cross in hand, this would’ve been the end of the road for real.

Four-eyed Mole Cricket ran up to the fence, spotted Old Meng outside the iron railings, and nervously relayed the whole story.

Old Meng’s eyes were practically twitching.

”What’s that supposed to mean?”

”I checked—those boxes are definitely yours, but the vehicle? He actually does partly own it. That’s within the rules. Just swallow your loss, unless you’re ready to bleed for it.”