Data-Driven Daoist

The Night Alchemists’ Yard was a foul-smelling ranch in the middle of nowhere. It was the intersection of sewage and muck, where smells gathered to turn into stink.

The forest had been cleared, making this part of the mountain look like a partially shaved head.

The main gate was old; the inscribed “Alchemists of the Night” on the pillar was cracked and looked weird under moonlight, as if dripping with rusty water. The moss-covered fences stretched from both sides of the gate until they enclosed the whole area. Yu Han didn’t know the exact size, but it had to be at least ten square kilometres.

Most of it was empty. Large yards, one after another.

There was a warehouse-sized donkey shed with constant snorts, grunts, and farts from the many beasts. Bales of hay were stacked all over the place. One senior brother was tasked with looking after all that.

Quite a few storage sheds were scattered about, as if civil planning was a foreign concept. Broken carts were piled here and there like a salvage yard. And of course, there was the cart-shed itself that looked like a fishmongers’ market with barely functioning walls. Another senior brother was in charge of maintaining these.

There was magic involved in the construction of all the structures, probably enhancements or array formations. Otherwise, there was no way this place would have survived some of the tropical storms that Yu Han had witnessed, rare as they were.

Clotheslines criss-crossed near the main compounds. Many of them. Hundreds when one went deeper into the yard. But what was drying were ghoul skins.

Drying wasn’t the proper term either. The skins were never moved indoors when it rained, and it rained a lot. The whole process of being washed by skywater, then bathed in sunlight did something to them. Senior Wen had a discussion with Huang Niuniu about it and the girl had refused to wear a coverall for a few days. The stink from a cesspool changed her mind just as quickly.

All this, including the compost pit, the manure from the donkey shed, the wet hay and monster skins, the high natural humidity, and probably a good deal of ‘spiritual humidity’ from the hot spring made the place worthy of being the moistest-smelling place in the local area.

Dong Tianlan stood out like a blotch of ink on white paper. She did not belong here.

The girl had a fair complexion and hair secured in a meticulous bun by a single hairpin. She wore pristine robes adorned with subtle flourishes, moving with such grace that she seemed to be wielding the fabric like a fan rather than simply wearing a dress. She carefully placed herself in a dry patch of land between the muddy road and wet puddles.

The way her feet moved as she hounded Huang Niuniu made it obvious that she did not want any of the possibly manure-mixed, ghoul-spilled wetness on her.

If Yu Han’s group looked like labourers, she was a princess, or at least a secretary. Why would she be here in the shit-pits?

“Give that text here,” she said. Her nose was scrunched up, brows furrowed. Though whether from the smell or something else, Yu Han didn’t know. “That isn’t how you treat a book.”

“Han’er made it for me,” Huang Niuniu looked unimpressed. “I can dog-ear the pages all I want.” She ripped off a page of the notebook and gave it to Fei Rui, who ate it.

Dong Tianlan screamed. It was a proper shriek, high notes ending with a hurt whimper, as if she had practised how to command indignant exclamations.

“You mock the scholars who stood before—”

Rip!

“I’ll have you flogged, peasant!”

Rip! Riiip!!

Dong Tianlan lunged. Huang Niuniu stomped the puddle, sending a spray of muddy water at her. But the shorter girl spun gracefully to the left, using the momentum to kick up soil and propel herself toward Huang Niuniu.

“S-Stay away—” Huang Niuniu stammered.

With one hand, Dong Tianlan pried Huang Niuniu’s grip from the notebook, snatching it with her other. She bounced effortlessly off Huang Niuniu’s panicked kick, then lightly deflected Fei Rui’s pinching claws. A quick somersault sent her floating backward, out of reach.

“What level do you think Missy’s movement art is at?” Li Yao asked. “Kinda feels like the Eye of the Storm Martial Movements, but… weirder?”

“No doubt nearing full completion of initial step,” Fang Zhao said. “Who is she?”

Huang Niuniu chased after the thief. “You three! Don’t just stand there and catch this little rat-faced, parrot-licked—”

“Someone like you who does not know how to treat a text with due respect is no better than a booklice,” Dong Tianlan flipped through the notebook, expertly fixing each crinkled page. “This child has suffered. Yu Han, you shall have to explain this transgression—”

The proper missy turned to the peanut gallery. Big mistake. She wasn’t only fighting Huang Niuniu here.

「Meow Miao, that was masterfully executed. If I do say so myself.」

Dong Tianlan could’ve dodged Huang Niuniu’s lunging hug. If not for Mistress Miao tripping her with one of her tails.

The two girls, one shouting “Got you!” and the other crying “Let go!” fell rolling in the mud.

***

Unlike what most might assume—rightfully so from the dilapidated state of the Night Alchemists’ Yard—they took hygiene seriously.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Despite the smell, the mud wasn’t mixed with manure nor blood. One might argue the rainwater that washed the ghoul skins was left to sink there. But due to the gentle slope of the yards, most of that would flow down to drain-like streams that led to the spiritual composting pits. A senior brother chalked the yards once a week, and another would take buckets full of donkey manure, mix it with some alchemical herbs and compounds, than mop the entire yard with it. It apparently had anti-curse and corruption properties. Huang Niuniu did not want to take that duty.

The donkey sheds were cleaned regularly, not to mention the main compounds. They had magical washing machines and of course, the spiritual hot spring. Any mould was treated when found, with formations placed all over the place to deter such malicious growths.

The sect took the Night Alchemists’ Yard seriously, though they did not actively recruit. They had more benefits than the outsiders assumed, but not once did Yu Han hear any senior brother market those benefits. Wen Liujie was near fanatical in trying recruit Yu Han’s friends, more so to make them stay. But he didn’t actively seek out outsiders to join.

It was like an elite club stained with superstitious slander. Why though? Yu Han had a hunch the Gorge-Crawling Earthworms had something to do with it, but not why. Probably the Alchemy and Medical halls too.

Long story short, Yu Han didn’t have to placate Dong Tianlan too long, convincing her away from the notion that having yard-water touching her skin would give her the ugly.

Huang Niuniu and Dong Tianlan washed up, then bathed with the Blizzard-Eyed Aquatic Monkeys in the hot spring. A whole hour passed before the two rosy-cheeked, flower-smelling girls with no more makeup on joined the boys. They, including the crab and the cat, had taken the chance to relax in the hot spring too.

Dong Tianlan fidgeted. One moment she would glare at Niu’er, then sneer at Yu Han, finally grit her teeth at Li Yao, before staring blankly at Fang Zhao.

Yu Han and co didn’t speak. This was agreed upon. A tried and tested intimidation strategy for interviews.

If there was a clock, the seconds would click.

For half an hour, the missy didn’t open her mouth.

Yu Han wiped his sweat. He couldn’t stand it anymore. To think she would make the interviewer crack! Formidable.

“So, Miss Dong Tianlan. Why do you want to join our courtyard—”

“Do you think I want to?” Dong Tianlan sounded incensed, though her voice didn’t rise in volume. “If I had any say in this matter, I would not approach this storage of night soil.”

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” Yu Han asked.

Even his fellow interviewers were confused at that question.

“In the foundation building realm,” Dong Tianlan answered.

Li Yao supplemented that with his own comments “Still friendless. Missy’s been spending all her free hours in the Scripture hall. Noble brats avoid her, and her nagging doesn’t sit well with the rest.”

“I work there for my internal sect mission,” Dong Tianlan said. “And who needs friends? In our path written by the hardships of many ancestors, what we must have is dedication, worship, resolve, ambition, industriousness—”

“You don’t have friends?” Huang Niuniu asked. “Poor you.”

Dong Tianlan fell silent. She bit her lower lip. “I don’t wish to join you. This Li Yao approached me first! Honoured Grandfather is of the opinion it is best to join a courtyard with promise before the rookie tournaments. If needed, I can always join a pavilion or a courtyard sponsored by the Dong clan later.”

“You’ll betray us?” Yu Han asked.

“You think we have promise?” Huang Niuniu straightened up.

This girl is too weak to compliments.

“Betrayal? Are you worthy?” Dong Tianlan didn’t even look offended. “Why should I stay with people who no longer serve a purpose? It is the wise who feel the flow of the wind and follow it.”

“That’s the thing,” Li Yao snapped his fingers. “Remember Elder Scribe? The guy was something like a quadruple crosser. Maybe more.”

Yu Han was taken aback. “Explain,” he said, side-eyed Dong Tianlan who was listening intently.

“When the new sect master made the bid for leadership, Dong Chou was at first on the Shu clan’s candidate’s side. Then halfway through he changed to the sect leader’s faction. Then when things looked bad for the sect leader again, he said he’d be neutral. After the sect leader won, he started acting like a trusted adviser. There might have been more twists and turns. I’d watch it if someone made a play out of it.” Li Yao nodded at Dong Tianlan, who nodded back.

“A peasant like you would not get the art of strategy,” Dong Tianlan said.

“Hey, hey,” Huang Niuniu told her. “This is a loss of face, right? Are you not offended?”

“Face? A concept of those poor in wisdom,” Dong Tianlan scoffed. “Honoured Grandfather knew where the currents would go and merely swam with them. It has nothing to do with face.”

Huang Niuniu looked impressed.

“If you let every little insect offend you,” Dong Tianlan continued. “Where will you find time to read?”

Great. Our fifth member might be someone who betrays without a second thought.

“Didn’t your grandfather get demoted?” Yu Han asked. He remembered Yong Lefan’s sarcastic quips at the girl.

“That’s the thing, Tubs.” Li Yao sounded impressed. “Back in the gang, if there was a double-crossing rat, the best he’d get is a missing hand and at worst, they’d get chopped up into fish food. Neither the sect master’s faction nor the core clan nobles have kicked him to the curb. Only Missy’s being bullied by the younger ones. She doesn’t seem to care though.”

“Barbarians,” Dong Tianlan did not hide her disgust, even though her expression barely changed. “So you were part of a criminal syndicate.”

“Do you know why your grandfather can walk around unscathed?” Yu Han asked. Maybe it was a secret though. The girl might not answer—

“He broke through to the core formation realm after the external recruits left,” Dong Tianlan said. Her voice had neither pride nor triumph, as if that was the most natural thing. “Great-Grandfather has arranged for him a post in the inner sect sanctum’s scripture hall. He’s the Sixth Scribe Official now.”

“…and your great-grandfather is?” Yu Han had a bad premonition.

“The Great-Elder of the Dong clan.”

So we can’t even go seek justice if she betrays us?

“Why do you think we have promise?” Huang Niuniu asked her as if she wasn’t bothered by the missy’s background.

Dong Tianlan pointed at Fang Zhao.

Huang Niuniu’s face fell. “I vote against her.”

“I vote for her,” Fang Zhao countered.

“Didn’t you hear? She’s a casual traitor.” Huang Niuniu looked at the casual traitor. “And why do you think this guy has promise?”

“Even the least of the Trueforge Fang clan should reach foundation building,” Dong Tianlan said. “It would be too pathetic otherwise. It seems your crippled condition is no longer hampering your progress? I am curious as to how you have overcome the issue. But to continue my answer, if you ever decide to return to your clan, our connection here may prove fruitful later for both the Dong clan and the sect. The sect master cannot afford to let you be wronged too much, though I doubt he’d intervene unless you are about to perish. That’s what Grandfather said at least. Did you know an elder from your clan visited the sect master recently?”

From Fang Zhao’s shocked expression, he probably did not know. “Seriously?”

“Tan Ruoxian might have mentioned it once,” Yu Han said. “She wasn’t sure though.”

Dong Tianlan continued, “this also makes a courtyard or pavilion that once housed a Trueforge Fang scion worth taking over at a later date.”

“I’m an exile,” Fang Zhao said. “Even if there was a Fang clan elder—”

“A direct scion nonetheless, and once the true heir,” Dong Tianlan alternated her gaze among the four. “Like it or not, your little group has the attention of the sect master. As do all external recruits that show promise. Surprisingly, our sect is graced by many a talent this season, and though you show promise, it is not nearly as much as some others. But that matters not, you represent a political boon. The sect master’s rule is yet unstable. He will invest in those not affiliated with the core clans. Likewise, the core clans will invest in their own chosen. This is a game of chess, and you are the pieces. Grandfather wishes me to be part of it.”