Data-Driven Daoist

“I have a few names—” Huang Niuniu started.

“Why do you get to choose?” Yu Han interrupted.

She pouted. “What do you mean?”

“I’m the one who has the accord with him.” He pointed at the crab, who was single-mindedly looking at him. “I have the perfect name.”

“You’re not wrong.” She bit her lip. “Let’s hear the name, then.”

“Ferris!” Yu Han beamed. It was perfect! It was the mascot of the Rust Programming Language. Rust used an innovative borrow-checking system of memory allocation. The crab obviously had some manner of control over “memory” as a domain—either the substat or its own memory issues.

He’d initially explained the “bubble pearls,” as the crab had called them, using Rust’s ownership and borrowing. And while the four of them were talking through the crab’s memory problem, didn’t Fang Zhao mention that the crab was probably lending his bubble pearls out? It was the perfect—

“No!”

「That name sucks.」

“Are you sure you guys don’t understand each other?” Yu Han said, aggravated. The two looked at each other, then at Yu Han, shaking their heads.

“Why isn’t Ferris good?”

“How would I even pronounce it? Fei Li Su? What does it mean?” Huang Niuniu said. Her eyes were bloodshot. “A name is important. If it’s funny or weird, do you know how much bullying it can cause?” She glared at Yu Han, looming near him like a ghost. “Do you?”

Right, she’s called Niuniu. Yellow Cow. She was speaking from experience.

“Then… Rust?” he suggested.

“No!”

「It sucks more!」

Huang Niuniu shoved him. The crab clicked his pincers and threw a tantrum.

“Lao Se Tu? What does it mean? Why do you come up with such weird names, Han’er? Are you dumb?”

「I don’t like this anymore. Can I not have a name? Can you call me Crab? Mighty Crab? Great Crab? Carapace Control Kata Crab?」

“What even is that?”

「It’s one of my things. I always had it, and I can teach it to you if you want, but you have to promise not to give me a name, and to get a shell.」

“Okay, fine. What names do you have?” Yu Han massaged his temples.

For the next five minutes, Huang Niuniu explained the rationale behind each name she selected. The crab didn’t know what she was saying.

「I bet the soft one would like to learn Carapace Control Kata. She’s so soft—she should really get a shell. Can you tell her to get a shell?」

Huang Niuniu finished. “Well?” she asked.

One name caught his attention.

“Fei Rui, what does it mean?” he asked.

“In autumn nights, when wisdom comes at a price, the young traveller trades gold for scrolls of ancient secrets thrice,” Huang Niuniu recited. “It means to hold nothing back for wisdom. Auspicious in meaning, wise in form.” ȑ𝘢ℕօВЁꞩ

Yu Han repeated what she said to the crab. Out of all the names Huang Niuniu had selected, it was closest to Ferris in pronunciation. The language here, similar to Chinese, just didn’t pronounce Western names correctly.

The crab collapsed to one side.

「So…」

“So?” Yu Han watched as it stood on its many feet again.

The crab raised its claws.

「Cool!」

And started dancing.

「She’s so much better at names than you. Why didn’t you let her choose your name too? I bet she could find a better one than Yu Han. Fei Rui is so cool!」

The crab stopped, retracted its protrusions, and turned into a shelled box again.

“What the heck?” Yu Han knocked on it. There was no response, but a subtle feeling of joy and confusion emanated from the crab’s shell.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Are these… its emotions? Yu Han didn’t know. The Heavenly Friendship Accord had unpredictable effects, according to the palace disciple.

The crab stayed like that even when they left for the Night Alchemist’s Yard.

Level 10. I can’t imagine how strong that is. He’s probably weaker than Duan Xiaolong, at least. Not Qi Gathering yet either, but probably stronger than Senior Wen? Maybe as strong as Gong Muhua.

He couldn’t make an exact assumption. Arts, traits, weapons, wit—any of these could tilt a fight one way or the other. Not to mention luck, allies, and other variables out of his control.

There wasn’t enough data.

But there was enough data about one thing. A proof of his dad’s belief. A connection, no matter how small and insignificant, must be nurtured. He’d asked Dad why he thought that so many times. Each time would yield a different answer.

Dad hadn’t been making things up. And the benefits, according to him, were bountiful—even if they weren’t tangible.

“The world is dark and freezing, with strong wind, constant rain, and an eternally gloomy sky. The only thing it does is take from you. But goodwill—it can only give back. It will give you warmth, light, and a shelter, so that the rain can’t touch you.”

And on he would go. Johan had scoffed at such idealism. It wasn’t even funny.

Yet he gave Li Yao food once when they were younger. He didn’t even remember it, but that event had a lasting impact on the other boy. So much so that he stuck his neck out for Yu Han at every turn, even risking offending nobles and sect seniors. Sacrificing the chance to learn from Gong Muhua, sticking with him while most others ostracised him. Li Yao had acted like a bastion so that others couldn’t easily target him.

That’s one.

He didn’t stop Huang Linxue, Wu Di, and Qiao Jinhai from scarring Huang Niuniu for life. He’d only made a move and “crippled” Wu Di after the cracks of her trauma had settled in her psyche for good. And he only did it for selfish gains, as if to prove something to Dad.

But she appreciated it. She took care of him when he was out cold from Gong Muhua’s strike. She reserved his hut, researched his job, and now cooked for him—not only the Spites from the booklet, but even wasting a chance at selecting a better Art for a Fasting Brew.

Because it would help him.

That’s two.

The crab, Fei Rui (if he decided to take the name), somehow gave him a point in Memory. Granted, that was before Yu Han figured out how to solve the memory issue. But afterwards, Fei Rui, a Level 10 being, accorded with Yu Han, a Level 1 fatty. Based on his chatter, he was more than willing to fight for Yu Han in the Hidden Realm.

That’s three.

They’d rescued Feral Spot. Today, the Gorge-Crawling Earthworm Clan was supposed to pay the favour back. That was why they were heading over to the Night Alchemists’ Yard.

All of these cases proved—or at least hinted at—Dad being right. So the least he could do was grant an amnesiac crab a name.

It was still a box even now. Huang Niuniu put it in a hemp bag and slung it over her shoulder. When she noticed Yu Han looking at her, she cocked her head.

“Is there something on my face?”

“Lips, a nose, and a pair of pretty eyes.”

She staggered. Yu Han walked ahead.

Yu Han had revealed the real cause of Fang Zhao’s crippling. Would he also pay back the goodwill?

If I’m thinking about it in such a financial manner, is it really goodwill, or just solipsism? Was he doing goodwill wrong? He had two good friends, a crab that really seemed to like him, and Fang Zhao, who was turning into his third friend.

At least the connections were nurtured. How amazing would it be if Dad were here to see all this? He could tell Yu Han if he was doing it right.

“Tubs, is it always this empty?” Li Yao yammered. He waited in front of the Night Alchemists’ Yard gates with Fang Zhao.

Inside, it was like a haunted villa. No humans in sight. Donkey braying came from the warehouse-like shed. In the main compound, only one window shone with a faint light from the lamps—the discussion chambers.

“We don’t have many colleagues,” Yu Han said. “It means we get more perks.”

The main compound door opened, responding to Yu Han’s token. They went straight to the discussion chamber. Elder Chang waited there, seemingly enthralled by a narrow crack on the wall.

“Huang girl, what do you have in that bag?” he asked the moment they entered.

“A-A crab,” she replied. A blush crept on her face. Last time she spoke with Elder Chang, she’d had a little accident.

“Good,” Elder Chang said.

What’s good? Yu Han was confused.

“All four are here.” Elder Chang pointed at a chest on the floor. “Four Healing Potions of the Blue Waved Waters. Four Rot-Negating Body Tempering Elixirs.”

Wow, impressive names.

“The Healing Potions should take care of most wounds at your level. I’d recommend holding off taking the Body Tempering Elixirs for now. Consume them when you reach Level 10. Or else…” He splayed his fingers, bursting from a closed fist. “You’ll go boom.”

They stood silently.

“Well, aren’t you going to thank me?” Elder Chang said. The orange light of the lamp illuminated his stern face, and his thickset form cast an ominous shadow on the opposite wall.

“Yu Han thanks Elder Chang for his generosity!” Yu Han cupped his fists and bowed. The rest followed.

“Wen sent a message saying he has kept appropriate missions in the far left cabinet, on the wall with the mission board. Junior Feral Spot awaits you in the Spiritual Composting Pits,” Elder Chang said. His gaze returned to the crack on the wall. “Do you know who did this?”

“I don’t,” Yu Han said.

“Where did Wen go?” Elder Chang asked.

“He left on a donkey somewhere, saying he wouldn’t be here for the next few weeks.”

“Do you happen to know why?”

“This Senior Sister Tan Ruoxuan told him to level up. I am not sure if that has something to do with it.”

“Thank the heavens for your crab,” Elder Chang said. “A Level 10 Spirit Beast willing to accord with a Level 1 rookie, while not unprecedented, is far from common.”

Yu Han was unsure how to reply to that.

“Now your excursion is much safe—unless you mess up catastrophically. Good. Luck is also part of cultivation,” Elder Chang said. “Keep your wealth hidden. I advise you to request something discreet from the Gorge-Crawling Worm Clan. Others would kill for what you might have. Even now, the Rot-Negating Body Tempering Elixirs are something most Level 10 Outer Sect disciples crave in their dreams. This batch came out excellent, with all four at the upper Elite Grades. You are dismissed.”

Yu Han gulped. Another hot potato. Not to mention the hundred-odd fruiting bodies in Fang Zhao’s storage ring.

They bid their farewells, and Li Yao and Fang Zhao carried the chest out. Yu Han went to the adjacent study and removed a bag from the cabinet. It had many rolled paper notices.

On the map of waste tank locations in the Outer Sect dangled the markers indicating his and Huang Niuniu’s booked shifts for the following week. They didn’t put those there.