Primordial Villain with a Slave Harem

Chapter 1482  Parasiteʼs Call

Alexios Valorian stared at the artifact.

His terrible day had just become worse.

”You were gone for three hours,” the king said flatly.

”Was I? Felt longer to me.”

”It was not.” Alexios pinched the bridge of his nose. ”What happened? Did you get lost on the way? Did the Goddess put you in a waiting room?”

”Something like that.”

”I hoped for silence that would last weeks. Months, ideally. I even braced myself for the joyous future where you were erased from existence.” ”You know, your wish was almost granted.”

”What? Spare me your nonsense.”

Alexiosʼs voice carried a weariness that had nothing to do with the hour. ”I canʼt believe I have to deal with this already.”

”Iʼm a fast worker.”

”You are a parasite. The worst this world has ever seen.”

”Thanks.” ”May the Goddess smite you down…”

Quinlan laughed. Genuine and short.

Alexios waited for the laughter to end, then spoke with the measured patience of a man who had dealt with this particular headache one too many times. ”So. The Goddess. You said you were going to meet her. Was that just another unfunny joke of yours?”

”Oh, that? First of all, all my jokes are funny. Youʼre just too old and boring to appreciate good humor.”

”…” Alexios didnʼt even respond to that, just grumbling something unbecoming under his breath.

But that only lasted a single moment.

Because, in the next, Quinlan added.

”Second. I did meet her.”

”What?!”

”Kinda corrupted her, too,” Quinlan added while clearly grinning from ear to ear. He was extremely proud. Alexios did not even need to see his face to know the exact expression.

”Left a mark on her skin. She wasnʼt thrilled about it, but we worked through our differences by the end. She even healed me afterward and let me rest my head in her lap. Very soft thighs, by the way. She should work out instead of watching me like a creepy stalker all the time.”

”…” Alexios was now properly speechless.

Quinlan did not care.

”I gotta begrudgingly admit, however. She can be a pretty nice person once you get past the extreme brattiness, the unwarranted kidnappings, and her extremely long list of complaints. She has way too much time.”

Silence.

”Now that I think about it, it makes sense. Time flows differently in her domain, after all. She must be very bored.”

Alexios stared at the artifact as if it had personally insulted his bloodline.

”You...” The king stopped. Started again. Stopped. His hand came up to his beard and gripped it the way a man gripped something solid when the ground beneath him stopped making sense. ”You corrupted the Goddess.”

”A little.”

”The Goddess of Thalorind.”

”Yeah, her name is Lilyanna, and sheʼs the Goddess of Purity if we want to be precise about titles and whatnot. And, to be fair, she started it. She kidnapped me into her domain without asking. I just... pushed back.”

Alexios opened his mouth to respond, to tell him to stop making such crude jokes and stop being a heathen, but a second voice cut through the artifact. It was bright and warm.

”Itʼs true, Father!”

The kingʼs hand froze on his beard.

”Felicity?”

”I met so many badass gramps and grannies!” his daughter chirped with the enthusiasm of a girl recounting a festival, not a divine encounter. ”Granny Thyra, the Mother of Humanity, was a bit scary at first, but sheʼs a very kind woman at heart! She gave me many ideas on how to become a proper and respectable woman!”

Then she bashfully added, ”We also had some conversations… Woman to woman… She was very kind and non-judgmental when answering my questions… I learned a lot…”

For good measure, the young princess felt the need to add with a strong scoff, ”Mother could literally never.”

Alexiosʼs mouth hung open. No sound came out.

”Gramps Malakar, the Father of Humanity, was very grumpy though! He didnʼt even speak to me! Just sat there looking stern the entire time. But Granny Hanae made up for it! She was wonderful! Who knew a many billions of years old person could be so funny?”

The king lowered himself into his chair very slowly. His hand found the armrest and gripped.

”And Granny Kiryssa! Father, we need to find the drow people and make an alliance with them! They are amazing! Their culture, their craftiness, their connection to the deep earth! Kiryssa told me so much about them!”

Alexiosʼs lips moved. No words formed.

”Oh! And I canʼt forget about Hymara and her husband, Hagnar! They were so big! Real giants! Hymara was a bit like Thyra, kind but strict. Hagnar was...” Felicity paused. A giggle escaped. ”Hagnar was a bit like Quinlan, actually. Big and silly.”

”Hey.” Quinlanʼs voice cut in, flat.

Felicity giggled louder. So did several other voices in the background. Many voices. Female voices. An entire audience Alexios hadnʼt known was listening.

The kingʼs grip on his armrest tightened until his knuckles ached.

His daughter continued, unfazed. ”But there were some weird ones as well! I avoided Karl on purpose. I donʼt know what it was about him, but I felt like my youthful purity would be blemished if I spent too long in his presence!”

”What purity? Youʼre not pure at all.”

”Feng Jiai, watch your foul mouth!!!” Felicity cried.

”Really? I remember when you-” ”Not in front of Father!”

More laughter came from the background.

Felicity huffed loudly enough for the artifact to crackle, then pressed on with renewed vigor. ”Oh! And Father, I nearly forgot the most important ones! Quinlanʼs mothers!”

Alexios blinked.

”Unlike their son, those two are very responsible! They are incredibly protective of Quinlan as well. You should have seen it! They fuss over him constantly. And they are so warm and welcoming! They even made time to sit and talk with me privately, which was... really special.” Her voice softened for a moment before bouncing back. ”And listen to this, they call him Quinn-”

Her voice cut off.

Muffled sounds came through the artifact. The kind of sounds a person made when a large hand had been firmly clamped over their mouth.

”This old bastard canʼt learn that name,” Quinlan decreed. ”Heʼll refuse to stop spamming it.”

More muffled protests. Felicity was clearly attempting to continue speaking through what sounded like an aggressive palm. A few background giggles suggested the audience was enjoying the show.

Then a sharp exhale. The muffling stopped.

”Hmph!” Felicity scoffed with considerable force. ”Okay! Fine!” A pause. She gathered herself. ”Anyhow! Father, listen to this. Those two had the biggest breasts I have ever seen in my entire life!”

Alexiosʼs mouth opened. ”What?”

”They were bigger than... I donʼt even know! Bigger than anything! I couldnʼt stop staring! It was like two entire pillows were attached to each of them, and the crazy part is they moved around like it was nothing! How does one even function with that much volume on their chest?!”

The king sat in his chair.

His mouth was still open. His hand was still on the armrest. His brain had stalled somewhere between ”primordial mothers” and ”biggest breasts.”

He said nothing.

Quinlan chuckled. Proud and entirely shameless. ”Yeah, thatʼs true. They are the motherliest of all mothers. The turbo mothers.”

”Tell your friend about your mothersʼ milk, Quin,” Feng said from somewhere in the background. Her voice was giddy.