Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

”If Bloodlust is your fear shield,

Remember, don’t take work home,

Your partners don’t deserve that.”

Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Bloodlust

Yeah, I think maybe I need to start focusing on more than just the ’Grr, me big ass kickery piss contest winner’ side of my Deityhood and start looking at, y’know, shit that goes on day to day. Like, yeah, I get it, I’m living in a world of crap where ’indoor plumbing’ is the peak of technology, but maybe, just maybe, the world needs a little less ’ooh, Vengeance and Bloodlust and Murder’ and a little more ’treat your kids and family right’. Look around for shit you can fix, or even build, rather than stuff to tear down.

I mean, yeah, I get that some of my other Domains will be a little more suited to that. Ecstasy, especially if I don’t focus quite so much on the religious or sex aspects of it, but on the sublime joy that can come from any fuckin’ thing in the world. Like, I’m pretty sure Marie has had moments of pure Ecstasy in the kitchen, and I am absolutely sure she’s generated them at the dinner table. Maybe Kitten has them in those ’I love it when a plan comes together’ moments. Or when her brain is nerdgasming from being used to box someone in so thoroughly that they just tip their king over in defeat, because of course Saffron thought of welding the table to the floor to prevent flipping. Passion will be even easier, because hell, there are a lot of people who are passionate about a lot of shit, and even hardcore gamers will pick up a civilization building game now and then. Yeah, some of them are still all ’ooh, guns, tanks, death, death, death’, but there’s a solid chunk who will, even if it’s just for completionism, finish the game via the diplomacy route. Or even the ’everybody’s too terrified to go to war with me, so they all spontaneously surrender’ route. Or the ’my economy is so potent the whole world belongs to me’ route.

Yeah, there’s some awfulness in each of those, sure, but watching her scare the living shit out of a bunch of Fae Courtiers just by sitting there tapping her fingers on the arm of a chair, I’m pretty sure there’s some potential awfulness in my Kitten. Maybe even some actual awfulness. I’m not sure how Future Me deals with that, but I’ve had so much to do just tryna get my shit together I haven’t had much of a chance to do anything about it. I guess maybe what I’m doing with my Holy Book, drawing lines and giving directions, is gonna help her. She’s my High Priestess, after all. Although I’m a little weirded by Karen being my Highest Priestess, when she’s the only one I’m not married to. Fuck, I guess I’m not technically married to Marie or Siobhan, although the former’s gonna get corrected as soon as we sort out the Blessing thing enough I feel confident I can do it right.

But between Holy Books and Siobhan, that brings me back around to today’s verse. I’m absolutely fuckin’ sure that if I were to go full on berserk killer woman in the bedroom, Marie would match me bite for bite, claw for claw, and we’d both wind up laying in a puddle of blood and less unpleasant bodily fluids devastated in absolutely the best of ways. Something tells me Saffron might not be quite that into it, but she’d be willing to go a few rounds just to say she did, or she could, or something like that. But Siobhan... She’s so adorable. So cute. I’m sure she’s got a backbone; hell I think I’ve seen it now and again. But her nature isn’t to fight, or to hurt, or to dominate. It’s to heal, and help, and nurture. To make people feel better about themselves, and maybe even make them want to be better people.

I don’t think she’d be ready, willing, able, or interested in getting roughed up in the sack.

I mean, I might be fuckin’ wrong. She seemed to adore getting the world’s most permanent hickey. But that wasn’t really violent, if I think about it. It was slow, careful, and patient. No more violent than getting a tattoo. Which, now that I think about it, it pretty much is. Okay, yeah, I get it, it’s not a tattoo so much as.. .what’s the word? Scarification? Yeah, only for pure romantic body modification purposes, not for ritual or cultural ones. Those marks on the necks of me and my partners are like fuckin’ tattoos sayin’ ’property of Marie and Tabitha Diaz’.

Oh. Oh, my, I just had a thought that grabbed me by the heart and brain and gut and crotch all at once. Then another one that lit all that shit on fire.

Hey, Marie?

Vlickies?

Got a question for you. I got the sensation of her ears perking up. Couple of them, actually. Less ear perking, but still perky. Suddenly reminded myself that last bit described her tits, which were surprisingly large, what with her being seven fuckin’ foot tall slouched in stocking feet. Did you want me to mark you like we did to Siobhan and Saffron?

Did. My head filled with heat and the feel of teeth clamped down on the scruff of my neck. Dull, but clamped down so hard they marked my skin anyway.

A smile crept across my face unbidden. You want me to do that again, don’t you? My head filled with big cat purring. With the big teeth this time. A whine filled my mental ears, and I skipped one of me behind one of her, and spirited one of her off to our Bed room. I sat on the end of the Bed, straddling Marie where she knelt before me, head bent forward just the tiniest bit. I did whatever Saffron had done with my teeth, then grabbed the skin of Marie’s neck in one hand.

Harder.

Okay then. I reached wider, clenched my fist to pull it all together. The harder I gripped, the tenser she got, until she just... slumped. Purring. Utterly relaxed. You wanna guide me here?

No.

I paused, about to shift that scruff from my fist to my mouth. This might get a little sloppy.

Good.

Pulling her nape to my mouth, I stretched my jaws as far as I could, pulling even more of her skin into the grip of my fangs. You let me know if I’m doing this wrong?

Her mental voice almost overwhelmed by her purr, amusement underlay her single, drawn out word. Harder.

Fuck it. I clamped my jaws down as hard as I could. If anything, she went even limper, purred louder. A fuzzy image filtered into my head, and I pushed myself upright, then stepped up to stand on the bed. I had to crouch, but she pulled herself up into a little fetal ball. Wave after wave of utter, peaceful contentment radiated out of her. A little blood seeped into my mouth, adding some iron to the taste of the sea and her fur.

I tasted her fur.

How long can I keep you like this?

Forever.

I chuckled, and her whole body vibrated along with it. I think people might come looking for us.

Fuckem. I couldn’t help it, my chuckling got louder, and her purr got louder to match. Distraction!

Only you would throw your would-be Fiancé at somebody’s crotch so you could keep getting cuddled like this, you big dork. I love you.

She purred even harder, and my world narrowed to that constant rumble vibrating my jaws, and the absolute joy radiating from my Maenad into my mouth. It felt like we stayed there like that forever, but eventually I felt the sun approaching the horizon. Gotta go do mom things, Murder Mittens.

Yes.

I definitely don’t think I could do this and pay attention to anything else.

Tonight? She whined just the tiniest bit.

Don’t we need sleep eventually?

No.

The absolute conviction in her mental voice made me realize that I was not, despite getting this wild hair about biting her while I sat in the office right after everyone went to bed, then staying up all night holding her off the floor with my jaws, tired. Okay. One condition.

Yes!

What’s your name going to be when I’m done marrying you? Say it. Please.

Slowly, like it wasn’t due to problems speaking with a mouth full of fangs, but because she savored every syllable, the gargantuan kitten dangling from my mouth said, ”Marie Aetos-Diaz.” I’m really not sure which of us shuddered when she did. Both of us, possibly.

So yeah, yesterday Saffron played Attack Dog for the Overlord, then spent the evening picking her brain about Fae Blessings over cups of chocolate syrup. I’m not sure if it’s a Fae thing, or an Overlord thing, or a Tallulah thing, but apparently she makes Marie look loquacious. I mean, her answers and questions were polysyllabic and relatively easy to understand, but holy shit did she take her damn sweet time replying. Luckily I think Saffron would make major diplomatic concessions for a cup of chocolate syrup, so being ’forced’ to sit there savoring the contents of her cup while Tallulah figured out what she wanted to say wasn’t really a huge hardship.

Only one big revelation, as such. Apparently while a lot of different Fae have things they call ’Blessings’, and that includes pretty much all Sidhe, House Crow is sorta unique. They’re direct descendants of current Queen of the Sidhe. Also known as The Morrigan. Also known as the Dan Goddess of Death. It’s really the ’Goddess’ part of that that comes into play here; While The Morrigan’s daughter died as part of the same weird succession war that left The Morrigan on the Sidhe throne, her daughter had a daughter, and so on down to Tallulah. And Cailyn, Adrienne, and Ria, I guess. The point being that unlike most Fae or even Sidhe Blessings, the Blessings of House Crow had a little Divine something extra. Not enough to ignore Cold Iron, but enough that Cold Iron just suppressed them, not shut them down entirely.

Saffron left a chunky Filtration Ward over the House Crow quarters before she left for the night, and I dropped Karen in the tub to help her with washing, because she seemed a little zonked after a very full day. By dinner time she seemed to have recovered, and then after everybody got to bed I spent a little time writing, then spent most of the night leaving the indelible imprint of my fangs on Murder Mittens nape.

Of course, when we went through our morning routine, the ruffled white collar she normally wore was nowhere in evidence. Which left her with four very prominent scabs on the back of her neck. When Saffron saw those, she smiled, looked back and forth between us, then said, ”so, when do I get to do that?”

I ran my fingers over where her shoulder met her neck, currently covered by that gorgeous black dress she wore most often for formal shit like talking to Tallulah. ”Already did that.”

She looked up at me, reminding me whose vayjayjay the Menace had popped out of when she smiled, revealing oversized interlocking fangs. Not yet.

I rubbed at my neck opposite where Marie’s marks had mostly healed up to clean, circular scars. ”I’m gonna have to wear turtlenecks, aren’t I?”

Saffron smiled, swallowed, and said, ”you’d best fucking not. I’m already considering getting you a custom tailored Heroic uniform in the Alliance colors. Low cut, to show those off.” She stared at Marie’s marks.

”And yours?”

”Yes, and the ones I put mirroring them, of course.”

I opened my mouth to say something about her neck, then realized she absolutely had done that on purpose. I snuggled her into a laughing kiss. When we came up for air, Ria poked at my thigh. ”Whatcha need, kiddo?”

”May I speak with you privately?”

I shrugged, scooped her up, left Saffron in charge of getting everybody ready to go, then carried her off to the office, carefully closing the door behind us before setting her on the edge of the desk and sitting in the surprisingly rigid chair. ”What did you want to talk about?”

”Have I offended your daughter Maze in some way?”

I took a deep breath, blew it out my nose. ”Well. There’s a lot to unpack there. First of all?” Ria nodded, attentive. ”Your sister.” She tilted her head, obviously waiting for an explanation. ”For the foreseeable future, we’re Fostering you. So long as we are? You’re our daughter.”

”But... I am Mother’s daughter.”

I nodded. ”Yeah, you are. How many moms does Menace have?”

”Menace?”

”Isnomi.”

Ria nodded. ”Ah. A fitting moniker. The Imperator is her mother.”

”Saffron. You’re family. I’m not gonna insist on mom or anything, but you don’t need the formality with us, okay?” She frowned a little, but nodded. ”And who else?”

”You?”

I nodded. ”And?”

She thought a moment. ”Marie?”

I nodded again. ”And that makes how many?”

With a sense of someone poking at a strange shiny rock they’d found half buried, she said, ”three?”

I nodded. ”And now you’ve got four.”

Her jaw dropped open for a split second, then she asked, ”for how long?”

I shrugged. ”Officially? Legally? Until Saffron and your mom, and probably as many other researchers as Saffron can rope into this, like probably Conrad at the very least, figure out how to turn off the side effects of your Blessing. Or turn it off entirely, although I think I’d really miss seeing Sigyn as my mom.” I paused. ”But unofficially?” She tilted her head. ”You don’t just stop being a mom. Well, I don’t. I don’t think Saffron or Marie can either. So you’ve got us for as long as you need us. As long as you’ll let us.”

She nodded solemnly. ”As long as I’ll obey you?”

I shook my head. ”Nah. I mean, in an emergency, yeah, I want you to listen to me and Marie and Saffron, and for that matter probably Siobhan or Karen as well, because I trust both of them and wherever they are, I can get to fast, and now that I think of it Larry and Bonnie, because right now we’re living in their house, and I trust both of them. If somebody needs to make a decision about something, or settle an argument between you and your new siblings, I expect you to abide by our decisions as well. But that’s not so much ’you obey us’ as ’somebody’s gotta be the adult in the room, and it just makes sense for it to be the actual adults.”

She frowned. ”I can make decisions.”

”Yeah. Yeah, you can. So long as nobody’s getting hurt, go for it. But if somebody’s gonna be hurt? Trust me when I say that everybody I just mentioned would rather it was one of us rather than one of you kids.”

”Why?”

I thought about that, tried to put myself in her shoes for a second, given where she was from and the not very warm and cuddly mother she’d grown up with. ”So you and your sisters can be kids. So you can play and grow and learn and do kid sh... stuff and have a time of your life filled with joy. Someday, maybe, you’ll have to make hard choices, take the hurt so someone else doesn’t have to. But for now? So long as you’re our kid? That’s our job.”

She nodded, face solemn and serious. ”And what is my job?”

I couldn’t help it, I chuckled. ”I just told you. Play. Grow. Learn. Help your siblings do the same, I guess. Enjoy life, because that’s why we do what we do, so you can do what we can’t.”

”What can’t you do?”

I nodded. ”Sometimes, when you’re an adult, it’s really hard to let go. To just be, to exist, to let someone else worry, and just enjoy existing.”

”Can... can I do that?”

I shrugged. ”I dunno. Do you want to?”

She nodded. ”I do.” A few tears welled in her eyes. ”May I?”

I held out my arms, and she leapt into my lap, arms around me. ”Yeah, kid. You absolutely have permission to do that.” We sat there like that for a while; I think we might have missed a bit of breakfast, but after watching Ria eat, I figured I could grab her a waffle if we missed it entirely.

Eventually she pulled back. ”Why does,” she paused, her next words stilted, but clear, ”my sister Maze dislike me?”

I’d been thinking about that since she first asked about my little Pony-girl. ”Yeah, I’m not exactly sure, because I’m not hovering over you kids all the time, because that would just make shit weird for you, not let you be kids, but if I were to guess?” She nodded. ”I think some Fae, some Sidhe, really, have been really rude to her before. Okay, not just ’some Sidhe’, but probably ’all the Sidhe she’s ever met’. So she figures you’re going to be the same.”

”But... that’s not fair.”

I shook my head. ”No. No, it’s not. But if you were both in Rich Man’s Port, where would you be living?”

”In the Keep, in my family’s quarters. In my rooms, to be precise.”

”And where would she be living?”

She tilted her head. ”A Kelpie girl? I suppose with you as parents, she would live in the Keep as well.”

I shook my head. ”She’s our daughter because Marie adopted her. Because her parents were dead.”

Her eyes got a little wide at that. ”An orphaned Kelpie her age? Likely either living in the harbor, or on the street.” She tilted her head. ”Mother often complained of young Fae girls working on Second Street. I suppose she might live there, if her employer roomed her?”

Kitten?

Yes, my Goof?

Give Tallulah whatever support she needs to get the kids out of the brothels.

It shall be done, my Goddess. With the tone in her voice, I did not doubt that if she had to, Saffron would be going from brothel to brothel kicking in doors, rescuing kids, and possibly executing motherfuckers out of hand.

Good.

”So, you see how those things aren’t the same?”

”Of course.”

”So you see why she might have felt some kinda way when Sidhe kids who lived in nice houses treated her badly because she was a Kelpie kid from the streets?”

Ria nodded. ”That was wrong of them. She didn’t choose to be Kelpie, or poor, or orphaned.” She tilted her head. ”She didn’t drown her parents, did she? No, she had at least one Kelpie parent, and Kelpie can’t drown.”

”Okay, yeah, that right there? Assuming that because she’s a Kelpie she goes around drowning people? Is kinda like her assuming that because you’re a Sidhe you’re gonna be a bi... bully about everything.”

”So what do I do?”

”Treat her the same way you would any of the other kids.” Inspiration struck. ”If you aren’t sure? Ask Menace. She gets along with Maze just fine, and she’s got opinions on everything. I’m sure she’ll be able to give you some pointers.” Ria went silent, nodding in thought. ”You ready to go get some breakfast?”

She nodded, and I carried her down to breakfast. Marie brought around a waffle for her, and after breakfast we all went about our daily stuff. Ria joined the rest of the kids doing their thing decorating the Main House; a few of the women had switched to doing carpentry shit there as well. I’m not sure the caves we’d cut or the solid stone external structure really needed the wooden reinforcement, but it looked nice. About half of the Maenads went with another squad of women to do some logging. I tagged along, because Mana Blades are even better than chainsaws when it comes to taking trees down. Okay, they are if I remember to cut fast, because the one time I did it slow the fucker blew up, and I wound up having to call Siobhan in to help me Heal a bunch of thankfully minor injuries.

But we got the carpenters lumber, and they turned it into some really pretty archways and flooring and... really the plain stone boxes we’d made were turning into really intricately decorated stone and wood rooms. Made me feel some kinda way seeing how far they’d come at the end of the day. Which wasn’t, just to be clear, anywhere past the entryway. But holy fuck if the entryway wasn’t as big as Lancaster House’s, and everything was raw and new, it was absolutely just as intricately decorated. Just as beautiful.

And it was ours.

Saffron hadn’t come with us today, leaving everything up to the women and, I guess, Marie and I. When we all got home, she let me know a few more things she’d learned. Apparently each woman of House Crow had exactly one Blessing they could use. Like, ever. Which really left me feeling even more mama bear about little Ria, not to mention maybe not being entirely copacetic about the entire ’turning it off’ idea, since from what Saffron could tell it wouldn’t reset it or some shit like that. She’d just be a Blessingless Crow. Which I guess all of them wound up, eventually, but she was just a kid.

Of course, as we got ready for bath time, Marie grabbed Saffron and I and Co-Located us to the Bed room. Then turned and knelt just beyond the foot of the bed. ”Please?”

”Certainly, lovely Maenad.” She grinned at me with those fangs back in place. ”My turn firtht.”

”No.” Saffron and I both turned to see why Marie wanted me to repeat last night before Saffron sank her fangs into her.

We’d kinda forgotten Marie could, y’know, Co-Locate. Kinda fun holding hands with Saffron while each of us dangled a purring Marie from our jaws.