Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

”Judge fairly and with nuance,

If you wish to embody,

Egalitarianism.”

Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Egalitarianism

Yeah, I don’t know why somebody would want to ’embody egalitarianism’, but fuck it, it made the meter work and religious types are all into that shit, right? I mean, I really ought to ask Saffron or Siobhan. They both seem kinda into that kind of thing. Weird, because Marie is like, apparently literally a Demigoddess devoted to Dionysus, but she’s the least religious seeming of any of my ladies.

Although I guess judging people based on where they’re at, maybe ’where they’re coming from’ in the sense of how it’s still affecting them is better than judging them based on, like, the color of their skin or where they came from in the sense of where they popped out of mom’s vajayjay. It seems kinda like a pipe dream to me, but...

I’m sleeping with the Imperator. I’m married to the Imperator. Like, her wife. That really sounds like an important title. We’re living in a suite in a house owned by a guy whose house is a fuckin’ hotel. Like, seriously, if your house has more than four stories, you’re probably old money. Weirdest part is that from casual conversation it doesn’t seem like Lancaster House is the source of his income. Hell, he seems like the old school kind of rich where you don’t worry about ’income’ so much as ’resources’ like food and people and, I dunno, mines and shit. And he defers to Saffron, and not with the kind of ’because I have to’ posturing, but with a more ’of course she’s in charge, her metaphoric cock is bigger than my entire body’ attitude.

And Saffron? Is sworn to me. Like, literally worshipping me because I’m some kind of Goddess. I don’t really get it, because other than being able to survive having my soul spread across a volume normally associated with decent one bedroom apartments and apparently being able to summon up Iowa Class Battleships, I don’t seem to have many Divine abilities. I guess maybe along with forgetting everything that’s happened to me since I got shot, I forgot how to Goddess or something. But still, it seems like I’ve got the literal bully pulpit, so I might as well use it to make the world a better place, right? At least that’s what future me seems to think, and we’re pretty much in agreement on this one.

Oh! Speaking of mines, apparently we’ve got one at our homestead! I kinda wanted to take a look in there, but taking the kids in there seemed like a bad plan. Of course we did wind up getting into the tunnels that ran under that big courtyard to each of the digs into the walls of the valley, not to mention out to the base of that tower. The bit sticking out of the hill looked maybe ten, fifteen feet tall, but that thing went all the way down to the interior base of the hill. Only bad part was that apparently all those tunnels were waterproof and not covered. So right at the moment we had ourselves an eighteen inch deep indoor swimming pool.

Yes, the kids and Marie and I totally splashed around in there until Saffron caught us and yelled at us.

We all left at sunset so everybody could get a bath, both to warm up and to wash the dirty water off. As Saffron and I, as usual the last two in the tub, scrubbed off, she quietly asked, ”did you want to invite the boys over tonight?”

”I, uh... you saw me looking?”

She smiled at me. ”I can see through your eyes, love. Not that I needed to. They are pretty, aren’t they?”

”You don’t mind?”

She sighed. Then kissed me. Midway through the kiss, the soft bits of her pressed against me got a lot less soft. I opened my eyes to see... Saffron, but a dude. Like, totally still her. I mean, totally still the person I’d been kissing, but also totally a guy. My mouth dropped open, because if Saffron was beautiful as a woman, as a guy, she... He... Want. ”Want,” I whispered before I realized that I’d decided to say anything.

He slipped his hands around my waist, resting on my hips. ”May I?”

”Please?” I whimpered.

He smiled, and holy crap I tried to wrap my legs around him but he held me in place by my waist so I couldn’t get any traction, any leverage. ”Are you sure?” He asked.

I lay my hands on his cheeks, stared deep into his eyes, and said, ”if you don’t take me right now or give me a reason not, I might get violent. Oh, shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that as a...” He kissed me, lifting me out of the tub and carrying me to where Marie and Siobhan stood waiting with towels to dry us off. He held me there, Siobhan and Marie aiding his laughing efforts to keep me from getting my legs locked around behind him. ”Fuck, please Saffron. Please. Please, why not, please?”

He leaned in and bunted my forehead with his. ”Because I don’t want to get the sheets wet?” Then he tossed me backward to land on that mirrored bed. Okay, ’on’ was a bit of a misnomer. My hips rested on the foot of the bed, my legs dangling off. A moment later a pair of scarlet thigh boots wrapped around my legs, giving me just enough reach to cock my hips.

I lifted myself up on my elbows to get a better look at him; a pair of black leather thigh highs of his own making me drool and say, ”why waiting?” Then I got a better look at him and felt maybe a little, uh, underequipped. Or like he was overequipped.

”The first time we tried this, you couldn’t. A mental block of some sort.”

”Uh... did we ever?”

He laughed, and Siobhan and Marie, who’d arrived to take over the divan, laughed along with her. ”Did we ever. Goddess, when we finally did? We destroyed the temple you’d just claimed. Karen’s only just begun reconstruction.”

”Wait, I have a temple?”

He nodded. ”You do.”

”We broke it?”

He smiled, and my toes curled. ”We did.”

”We broke it fucking?” He just nodded again, stepping closer and pressing against me. ”I don’t wanna break our nice bed.” I whined.

”I promise to be careful.”

I snorted. ”You better. That thing’s gonna poke holes in my lungs and shit.”

He held me by the waist again. ”I will. May I?”

I took a deep breath, let it out, looked him straight in the eye, and said, ”I’m gonna feel some kinda way if the bed breaks. Or I don’t. You may.”

He did. Holy shit he did. I mean, I don’t think I actually broke, but it wasn’t for a lack of enthusiasm on Saffron’s part. There’s just a point of endorphins where it doesn’t matter, and I passed that point like thirty seconds in.

Dreamt of Marie pasta and Siobhan popsicles. Only one Saffron dumpling. Sadge.

Woke up the next morning with everybody piled around me. Definitely a little sore, and even looser than I was sore. Like, my hips, like they’d been popped out and back into the sockets so many times they felt like they might just fall out on their own. Then I stretched, and they popped back into the sockets. Like, with an audible pop that had Marie snickering.

”Laugh it up, tiger-lady. Next time we’ll see how you like it.”

I never saw her move. One second the rest of us shared a Marie body pillow, the next she knelt with my face in her hands, eyes inches from mine like she wanted to see the back of my skull. ”Promise?”

Weirdest thing, you’d think with how boy mode Saffron had me utterly and completely mesmerized I’d have had more hesitation. Or maybe greed. But nope. The words that flowed out of my mouth without hesitation were, ”can’t wait to see that.”

Did not expect Marie to toss me on the divan with a sleepy Siobhan in my lap. ”Okay.” Saffron stumbled, her boots on but otherwise still utterly asleep on her feet. ”Wha? Goof?”

”Don’t look at me. I think Marie wants some of what I got last night.”

Saffron squeezed her eyes shut, then he stood there frowning. ”Just so you know, I am not happy about being woken up early for this.”

”Bath.”

Saffron shook his head, sighing. ”And then you use logic against me. You realize I’m not exactly in a mood to be gentle... of course you are. This will go on the ledger as well, you realize.”

”Yay.”

While Saffron lived up to his word, I snuggled Siobhan and murmured, ”you gonna want your turn next?”

She shook her head and giggled. ”No. Unless you ask it of me, I prefer you each in your, ah, more habitual presentation.”

I shrugged. ”No worries. Saffron’s just really good with that thing.”

Her eyes slipped shut. ”Oh, yes. I’m well aware.”

”How the... what... but... huh?”

Saffron turned around, shot us both a rakish grin without slowing down in the slightest, and muttered, ”Goof.” Things got a little stiff under the hood.

Then things got a lot stiff under the hood. I lifted Siobhan by the waist, only to see an unfamiliar bit stand to attention as I lifted her clear. ”Okay, that’s uh... I do not know what to do with that.”

Siobhan giggled and twisted around to look at me. ”Me.”

So, I, uh, did. Very weird. Not normal. Also I might have gotten more than a little worked up and maybe got sorta un-gentle. Very. By the time the sun came up, and I really do not know how I knew that in a windowless room, she’d passed out a couple times. The place also smelled like somebody’d tried to build a bakery in a brothel. Or had an orgy in a bakery. One of those two. Saffron pulled Marie upright, kissed her, sighed, and said, ”I think we’d best be heading back. We all need baths even more now.”

Siobhan woke up just about then, turned and pulled me in for an over the shoulder kiss. Before she let me separate our lips, she whispered, ”you need not stop, Tabitha my Hero.”

”No, I think we need to get baths too.”

She smiled into my lips. ”I meant next time when you thrust me to heights of ecstasy my body cannot handle. I am your Concubine. Use me.”

I lifted her to her feet, then stood up next to her. ”Uh, no. Consent is important.”

She giggled and pulled me down for another kiss. ”I know, Hero. That’s why I’m consenting. Now. To that. Then.”

”But what if you change your mind?”

”I’ll tell you if I do?” She shook her head and looked up at me, confusion and amusement on her face in equal measure. ”This isn’t a trap, Tabitha. This is me willingly offering myself to you. Even then, even like that.”

”What if I hurt you?”

She just smiled wider. ”Then you’ll Heal me.” She turned to Saffron. ”You’re right, Saffron. She is the most considerate goof ever, even when she’s being the most frustrating goof ever.” Then she sighed. ”I think you’ll need to set us back to normal for bath time.”

A moment later Saffron stood there as curvy and hot as ever, and I had a lot less going on downstairs. A moment later, the four of us stood in the bathroom, Saffron and Siobhan working to fill the tub as the kids lined up for the toilet. ”Is everything like this all the time around here?” I muttered.

How do you mean, love?

Trying to think at her, I replied, Uh, like, sex and cuddles and family time and everything all jammed in around each other?

She heaved a deep sigh, which did some amazing things to her overall topography, and replied, No, love. Often we deal with wars. And plagues. And kidnappings and Undead. But now? When the only thing threatening is this curse which, to the best of our knowledge, affects only you? We fill all our days, including yours, with as much celebration of our life and love as we may.

I hadn’t really thought about it like that. But once I did? I really couldn’t argue with it.

So since Siobhan and Saffron had work to do? I spent the day playing with the kids. Maze looked a little put out, so after lunch I had Marie bring a book back for her to read and I sat with her in the living room while Marie took over kid watching duty for me.

Yeah, maybe tomorrow, next week, or next month I’ll wind up having to throw down with some monsters or whatever.

But today? Today I’m gonna enjoy every bit of what I’ve got.