Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

It’s weird; I do shit with Mana all the time that boggles people, both in the amount of burst Mana and sustained Mana, but the times I’ve really needed to throw that shit in insane numbers I not only nearly killed myself each time, I also realize I’ve never even tapped into anything approaching Mimic’s full potential.

Sometimes I feel like I’m in one of those, what do you call them, ’low countries’? The ones with big walls keeping the water out. And everybody else is going around with measuring cups, or glasses, or buckets maybe. They’re connected to wells, or cisterns, or water towers, or, y’know, city water networks. Meanwhile I’m over here with the world’s biggest fuckin’ fire hose connected to the damn wall. My problem isn’t that I’ve got any real, meaningful limit to ’how much Mana’. It’s that if I really pull out all the stops? The question isn’t ’will anything go wrong?’ It’s ’of getting bludgeoned to death trying to control the hose, torn apart by cloth shrapnel and water pressure when the hose bursts, or just fuckin’ crushed and drowned when the wall caves in, which one is gonna happen?’ Well, ’happen first’, because I’ve got this deep seated fear that if I die? That shit’s just gonna flood every fuckin’ place in this damned world.

So yeah, yesterday I realized that no matter how proud I was of my brilliant little Kitten? I still felt some kinda way about her writing a whole fuckin’ new book in literally half the time it took me to copy an existing one. I must have been looking pretty down at dinner, because she reached across the table, careful not to put her arm between Menace and anything that resembled food. Goof? Are you feeling well?

I looked up and smiled at her. For her. Yeah. I’m just kinda bummed.

Why? Not only did you complete your copy of Law and Custom of Phileo before anyone else, your brilliant scheme ensured that not only will you get credit, but so will anyone else who needs the points to pass the class.

My smile twisted a little as I nodded. Yeah, yeah. I get that. I’m still pretty jazzed that Loki applauded my wacky antics, but...

Loki’s voice joined us. Do not take the wry nature of my applause as anything less than approval, Champion. I cannot remember the last time I genuinely applauded anyone but you.

Thanks, Boss. You’re the best.

I know.

Saffron cut back in. That’s not what’s got you down, is it?

I shook my head. I was kinda proud of my copy....

As you should be!

I kinda frowned at her even as I clutched to our intertwined fingers. Yeah, yeah, but as I was sayin’, I was kinda proud of my copy. Two days work, and I’ve got a completely legible copy of the whole fuckin’ thing. I even managed to make the woodcarvings and shit look recognizable, and didn’t give in to my urge to put the mural on the picture of the Academy.

Frankly I think you should have.

I sighed. Maybe I should have. You’d know, what with you being the smart one. I winced a little as her little fingernails dug into the back of my hand. No, seriously. It took two days for me to copy a book. It took you one to write one. Like, a whole new one. Kinda makes my whole copying jag pale in comparison. Shit, for once I miss my old school. Copyin’ the whole fuckin’ book would have been plagiarism, but I’d have gotten props for hard work, and would have stood out. Here...

I trailed off because she’d started snickering, and as I tried to tug my hand away, shooting her a maybe pissed off look, she tugged back, and then my lap was full of chuckling Saffron, her legs around my waist, her face downturned. My Goddess, I beg you humbly to forgive me, both for unintentionally making you feel less than magnificent, and for laughing in your time of pain. She fluttered her lashes and looked up at me through them. Is there any act I could perhaps perform to fully express my contrition?

She knew me so fuckin’ well. I sighed and shot her a twisted smile before leaning in and kissing her. Maybe a preview of my inevitable agonizing torment?

After scouring my tongue of any taste but her, she leaned back just a little, a contemplative look on her face. No. No, I don’t think that would do at all. Your anticipation, after all, is part and parcel of the torment, and properly adjusting your eventual comeuppance would require difficult, and more importantly potentially ambiguous bookkeeping on my part. But, if I may be so hubris filled as to offer my Goddess a counter offer?

I snickered just a little, because we both knew I would snatch whatever crumbs she offered me. Or crumble the snatch, whatever. Yeah, I frowned with mock severity. But this better be good, Kitten?

I will impart to you a secret that could imperil something you know I hold dear to me, and then I will despoil you until you forget both your pain and my secrets.

Wait, aren’t you supposed to let me despoil you?

Whichever you wish, My Goddess. I am gleefully surprised that you feel both healthy and energetic enough to do so. Although I am also surprised at you not wanting to let someone else do the work for you.

I shrugged. Mutual despoiling it is then. Now what’s this secret of yours? Hell, what will it imperil? I know you wouldn’t imperil Isnomi, and other than our supposed virtue or sanity I don’t think you’d imperil Marie or I, so...?

She leaned in and whispered into my neck, ”I started writing that the day after you unilaterally conquered three Cities that threatened the home of my heart and handed me rulership of all four, my love.”

I pulled back just a little and raised an eyebrow as I looked at her. ”You mean you didn’t know?”

”I did not. I honestly did not even suspect. It passed entirely beneath my notice. I am, after all, merely mortal, despite my attempt to convince our enemies otherwise.”

I laughed and kissed her again until somebody to my left let out one of those ’fake disgusted only really annoyed’ noises. I looked over at Raven. ”You got a problem?”

She rolled her eyes. ”Will you two get a room or something?”

Saffron laughed, the sound somehow mixing her throaty chuckle and the tinkling bells of her giggles. ”We have one, which we might adjourn to later. Missing Lachlan or something?”

Raven just snorted derision at that. ”Meh. Hardly. More like watching your foreplay means I’d kinda like eighteen inches or so of him to help me get to sleep.”

When Saffron mouthed, ’eighteen inches?’ with a bit of a surprised look, I shrugged. ”I mean, he’s a big boi and all, but he didn’t look that big in M Space when he gave me a show I hadn’t been looking for. Maybe he’s a shower and a grower both?”

Raven just smiled at the two of us and said, ”so Sapphic of the two of you to not know how much it can be stretched.”

I must have winced when I said, ”isn’t that, like, just when it’s floppy? Or it hurts and shit?”

”You say that like it isn’t the whole point.”

”Damn. Did not know Lachlan was into that intense shit. Didn’t really need to, either.”

Raven just shrugged. ”Whoever said I cared whether he was into it or not? It’s not like he ran away the second time I suggested anything. Also, I’m not the one necking in the dining hall.”

I half choked on my spit and managed to wheeze out, ”holy shit, Raven. Dark as fuck much?”

I ignored the mutter from Saffron’s former seat about, ”mama gonna get gwounded.”

I couldn’t exactly ignore Saffron’s voice in my head nor her practically vibrating in my lap as she said, she is absolutely that dark. Can I make her a Priestess, my Goddess?

I rolled my eyes. Fine, if it will make you happy, Kitten. Not High Priestess though. Two people other than me in my head is enough.

She batted her eyelashes coquettishly again and thought, are you sure you didn’t mean ’three’ and ’bed’?

Oh, hell to the no. She’d team up with the two of you and try to fit Marie’s leg to the hip into me or some wacky antics like that.

She leaned in and kissed me, giggling, which was one of my favorite things, really. Curses. Foiled again. When Raven groaned again, she disengaged and said, ”so is your issue that we are doing this in front of you or that you lack access to, ah, your choice of assistant in relieving the frustration it engenders?”

Raven stabbed a sausage near one end, which made Fred and Bill both wince, put damn near the whole thing in her mouth, which got Fred looking speculative, then ripped it in half with her teeth, which actually got him to drop his spoon and half turn away. Laughing as she swallowed, Raven said, ”either. Both. Take your pick.”

”Fine then. Both, provided you remain with Isnomi until she finishes her dinner and escort her up to our rooms when she’s done.” She held out a hand. ”Do we have a deal?”

Raven rolled her eyes. ”What the hell. Sure.” She reached out, shook Saffron’s hand, and the next thing I knew I was sitting on the end of our bed, Saffron still in my lap.

”Forgive my haste, love, but it seems I’ve just over an hour to induce amnesia sufficient to atone for my sins against my Goddess.”

I chuckled, ”well then you...” I couldn’t very well talk with Saffron’s mouth covering my own, and I sure as shit couldn’t think with, y’know, everything else she managed to pull off simultaneous to that.

Suffice to say that at some point in time... uh, the word’s ’later’, I think, but I’m not sure, while I lay there in bed grinning and possibly drooling like an idiot, some chick delivered a kid to our door while the cause of my complete loss of mental faculties blinked on a blacker than black dress that made my brain and lady bits both hurt in a tingly kinda way while the kid squealed, ”Mama!” and snuggled into bed next to me purring. Sounded like a good idea at the time, so I fell right the fuck asleep right the fuck there.

Mimic dreamt of pretending she saw Mom’s shape in the sky, and trying to pretend that the stench hadn’t gotten worse.

I woke up to Saffron snuggled into me purring. ”Good Morning, love. Before our precocious child awakes, is my penance complete? Or shall I send her down to breakfast with Marie?”

I can catch a clue if it’s equipped with that level of bunker buster technology. ”I have no idea whatsoever what you might have needed to do penance for, so I’m gonna say more penance is definitely more important than the Most Important Meal of the Day.”

She snuggled up to me and hummed into my ear, ”who says it cannot be both?” As I tried to recover from the mental capsizing caused by those seven sing song syllables, she asked, ”Marie, could you perhaps see Isnomi to breakfast this morning?”

Marie heaved a put upon sigh. ”Yes.”

”And deliver her to Advanced Healing Studies afterward?”

I’d never heard Marie actually sound even a little bit pouty before. ”Yes.”

”Oh, and arrange for her to stay with Grandma tonight?”

Marie might have earthquaked the bed a little bit with her enthusiastically growled, ”Yes!”

”Well that’s just about perfect.”

Seven. I will never in my life be able to take the title of that movie seriously again. Well, ’serious’ in a ’oh, scary psycho killer movie’ way, what with Saffron dropping little seven syllable singsong statements into my ear and brain until Marie left with Isnomi. The moment our soundproofed door swung shut, I pounced on her, growling, ”vengeance!”

She squirmed, making the world’s shittiest and most flirtatious attempt to escape, crying out, ”oh, no! I thought this was supposed to be penance!”

”Penance!”

She went still immediately, ”oh, well then, since I know you don’t calculate these things, I insist you mete out my penance until you feel it sufficient.”

Of course I’m me, so I had to pause to tease her a little right then. ”I dunno...”

She blinked at me. ”You’re hesitating? Who are you and what have you done with Tabitha?”

”I mean, we’ve only got two hours.”

She looked up at me, eyes artfully wide, ”I’m sorry, my Goddess. I’ve been a very bad girl indeed.”

I nodded solemnly. ”You have. So I’ll have to finish later.” Her eyes got a little wider. ”When I’ve got help.” When I saw the whites encompass her irises and her mouth drop open, I kissed her and did my dead level best to keep her nonverbal.

I might have been just a tiny bit enormously smug when we got to class, and an even tinier bit epically smug when everybody else saw her very clearly not perfect uniform, the result of me dressing her, since her penance was still in progress, after all.

Yeah, anybody who says that ’married life is boring and celibate’? Is clearly Doing It Wrong. Either the Marriage bit or the Marital Duties bit, no idea which, and don’t care which either, because I have received repeated verbal confirmation that I am, in fact, Doing Both Very Right. So I might be shit at the rest of Adulting, but on that? I get full marks. S Tier, Olympic Level, Weapons Grade Spousing.

Anyway, anybody who thought Saffron being as artfully mussed as I could get her meant that her brain wasn’t functioning... well, okay, it probably wasn’t ’functioning at full power’, but it sure as shit was ’functioning enough to run verbal rings around everyone else at once’. Though really in this class that wasn’t a big deal, since while Doc DeLeon and Doctor Glass are both smart and knowledgeable enough in their fields of expertise to give my Kitten a run for her money, they’re not asshats about it. It’s not some kind of competition with the three of them. Its... more like a hunt. A three person team hunting Truth or some shit like that. Much brain. Very debate. So philosophy. Wow.

Of course, when Menace arrived like, right after Doc Zeccardi’s opening lecture, running from the door and launching herself at him, it got a chuckle out of everyone, even Hero Davis. At lunch, when she finally dragged him back to have lunch with us, she finally noticed Saffron’s state of attire and squeaked out, ”Ma!” before jumping over to start very visibly ’fixing things’, which brought the cutest blush to my Kitten’s face.

No idea why Sister Siobhan fainted at that point, but she faceplanted right into her salad. I mean, room full of Healers, not like she was in any danger, but still have no idea what that was all about. Attempting to enhance my cluefullness I leaned over and whispered into Saffron’s ear, ”is she, like, preggers or something?”

She gave me a scandalized look and whispered back, ”Vow of chastity, Goof!”

I shrugged. ”Maybe somebody finally chaste her enough?” I’m not sure which I found funnier; Saffron’s indignation at my abuse of the language, or Siobhan, who’d just gotten everyone reassured and gone back to eating, hearing my not quite quiet enough whisper and faceplanting in her salad again. I did feel kinda bad about that, so this time I waved everybody back, walked over, and popped a petite Stabilize into her to wake her up. When she blinked her way back to consciousness, her eyelids started to flutter when she saw I was the one holding her up, so I leaned in and whispered, ”aren’t you, like, ten years older than me or something?” low enough that everybody else, who’d gone back to eating or chatting with their lunch partners, wouldn’t really pick up on what I’d said.

She pulled back, hurt in her eyes when she muttered, ”I’m only nineteen.”

Did not expect that. Pitching my voice so only she could hear, I said, ”how are you the Head Nurse or whatever?”

She shrugged. ”Sister. Priestess. Healer. Not Doctor.”

”Huh. Well, sorry, Sister, but you’re still the teacher of one of my classes, and I have never, would never do anything like that with a teacher...”

When I trailed off, she looked down at the table, ”I’m so sorry, Tabitha. Please, forgive...”

”For less than a perfect grade.”

Her face went beet red, and if she didn’t faceplant again, she just kinda sat there, lips moving, saying nothing at all, until I slapped her on the shoulder before leaving. Before I could she muttered, ”I can’t guarantee that.”

I pulled her into a side hug, saying, ”gotta get back to my lunch now,” before leaning over to kinda side-bunt her head in a playful way, murmuring, ”Too bad. Guess you’ll have to wait until Summer, and hope Saffron’s not looking for more Healing classes.”

She kinda whimpered and gnawed at her salad for the rest of lunch. Meanwhile when I got back to our table, Saffron leaned into me and thought, Someone’s in a cruel mood today.

Calverton’s getting extra stinky. Think it’s got me in a mood I need to work off somehow.

Well. That’s not good. But from what it looked like, you were about to Just Happen to work it off with the Sister.

Nah, just fuckin’ around with her a little.

She huffed aloud then stole another bite of my sushi. Isn’t that exactly what Just Happening is? When I shrugged and tucked into my tempura, she smeared not-wasabi across the bite headed for my mouth and thought, at any rate, taunting her is terribly cruel to both of us.

How is it cruel to you or me?

I meant she and I. I was looking forward to you despoiling her.

Hey, hey, hey, consent is important, and that’s getting way close to premeditation.

When I swallowed my shrimp, but before the burn left my nostrils, she kissed me, savoring the combination of flavors in my mouth. Yes, yes, consider me informed and yourself given permission to lay waste to all aspects of her innocence when she begs you to do so.

Uh, what about Marie?

Satisfied that she’d savored the flavor, she pulled away and set Isnomi in my lap and leaned in to Marie’s ear. Menace looked at me, opened her mouth to say something, then spotted my food and said, ”Thuthee!” before starting to pop them into her mouth like popcorn chicken.

”Yo, Menace!” When she frowned and growled at me while shoving more in, I said, ”oh, no, not gonna take it away from you, but that shit tastes good. Take your time and chew it a little. Enjoy the taste if you’re gonna steal something this good.”

She gave me a perfect tweenaged ’whatever, mom’ eyeroll, then ostentatiously closed her mouth and chewed like three times before her eyes shot open and she started chewing that shit like gum. Like ten seconds or so later she swallowed and said, ”Mama’s smart!”

”And Mama also needs her food to keep her strength up, my girl.”

Before I could say anything, as Saffron handed Isnomi over to Marie, our Maenad looked me in the eye, nodded, and said, ”Yes.”

Nearly choked on my damn sushi when I realized she wasn’t talking about what Saffron had said to Isnomi. Fuck it, my beloved Maenad and Wife are both insane, but what am I gonna do, argue with them? I mean, yeah, I could maybe try, but I really don’t like losing. Just about then I realized something. Shit, you weren’t, like, joking about innocence, were you.

Not in the slightest.

Well. Fuck. I...

She’d snuggled back into me to steal my tempura, but now she pulled back and gave me some serious side eye. Are you saying you wouldn’t take her virginity if she wanted you to?

I mean, virginity’s a really shitty concept in general, but it’d be her first time. I don’t want to fuck that up, y’know?

She shrugged and grinned. Up. Down. Laterally. Diagonally even. So long as you do it thoroughly and well, I doubt she’ll be disappointed. Before I could reply, she laid a finger across my lips. But should your passion and endurance fail to carry the day, know that I offer you my own expertise enthusiastically.

I snorted and nommed another sushi. So weird. Not complaining. Sometimes I think I died and went to Heaven when I got shot.

Suddenly serious, she buried her face in my shoulder. This world is as far from heavenly as possible, my love. Then she raised her face and looked me right in the eye. Save those portions you have exerted your dominion over, which become more heavenly with every passing day. And will continue to do so, so long as I draw breath.

Fuck. I certainly couldn’t top that. We just kinda leaned against each other purring and feeding each other sushi and tempura for the rest of lunch.

After lunch I had a thought though. Something had jostled some old-world knowledge from my brain. I raised my hand and asked, ”Hey Doc? Docs? Sister? Do Undead like, crumple to dust when you hit them with Healing Mana?”

Docs Zeccardi and Glass both looked a little boggled by my apparent idiocy. Sister Siobhan reacted in a much more expected way to my general stupidity and turned a little green around the gills. Doc DeLeon finally shook his head and said, ”No. No they most certainly do not, Tabitha. For any of the rest of you who have not fought Undead or learned about them yet, almost all Undead will, if possible, consume the Mana of the living as their primary source of sustenance. Some of them can do so only inefficiently, but should you shape Mana into them, especially as Healing magic, which is among the most life-oriented of Mana Shapings? Undead will feast upon it. With some it will create a conduit which you cannot release until you are, like them, Undead.”

”Oh. Oh, shit. Yeah, important safety tip. Thanks Doc.” Then my hindbrain yeeted another phrase at my mouth before letting my frontal lobes review it. ”What about Revive?”

Doc DeLeon just stood there with his mouth open. Doc Zeccardi blinked a little before saying, ”Your enthusiasm is great, but I’m not sure this is really a ’bigger hammer’ solution.”

”Wait, no, Joseph. She might be onto something,” Doctor Glass interrupted. ”There are some very well supported theories that many, possibly even all Undead are in that state due to a particular twisting of their Souls. While Revive is obviously far too Mana intensive to be weaponized effectively, especially against masses of lesser Undead, it might be possible to develop a more specialized, more Mana efficient version of the Shape that ignored the Bodily Healing, Soul Retrieval, Soul Cleansing, and possibly even Soul Reconnection portions of the shape, leaving only the Soul Repair Shaping. Still likely too Mana intensive to be used as a spell against lesser Undead, but it might be efficient enough to be a sovereign cure for those greater Undead who normally are the most difficult to put down.”

”I could do it.” My biggest shock at that moment wasn’t that those words hadn’t come out of my mouth in some kind of suicidal brag, or even Saffron’s in an obvious statement of fact. The only reason I’d heard them was that every portion of my body visible to Sister Siobhan had started an almost burning tingle as she stared rapturously at me and whispered those words. When the others started to object, without turning to face them she straightened her spine and said, ”I am the High Priestess of Canta to the City of Phileo, and was a Healer of Souls years before he anointed me so. Should the Undead threaten those under my care, they will learn what that means, to their final detriment.”

While on the one hand, go Sister, take charge of your destiny and all that good shit? On the other hand that ’rapturous stare’ had started with a little too little ’Maid of Orleans’ and a little too much ’Gowron’ in it already. When the rest of the class including the Doctors all got deep into the mechanics of the Revive Spell, with Saffron and a couple others who’d been in Advanced Mana Shaping with us bringing open those little windows I thought of as ’Spell Coding Windows’, Saffron popping a big visible-light one at the front of the class to throw the best ideas onto, Siobhan mouthed the word, ’Summer’ at me, and I swear to God I felt like I already had a sunburn coming on.

I believe the word you’re looking for is ’rug burn’. Maybe ’carpet burn’. You know, I don’t quite remember the last time I seduced a woman as a woman; I’m sure the slang has... oh, sorry, daughter, Sigyn has sudden urgent need of me. Must run.

I was so fucked.

Without a single second’s pause, Saffron thought back, all by yourself? That’s new.

Fine. We are all so fucked.

That’s not quite true either, love. As my mind filled up with essence of Jackie Chan’s ’my brain is full of fuck’ and Saffron blithely jumped the Academy straight past ’whiteboards’ to ’smartboards’, she continued my speed run toward possibly-drooling mental meltdown with, the three of us have to wait until after class. But my cruel Goddess insists on making poor Siobhan wait until Summer. Of course, my adorable little Kitten lacks the ability to leave anything less than complete.

So, so brutally cruel. Yet another thing I worship about you, Goddess Mine.