Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

So running laps has got to be great for my legs, but it’s not my legs that are gonna be tested once Saffron ships out. If only I could somehow figure out a way to work out my brain. Like, on the Boulevard.

Pretty calm night last night. Chillin’ like a villain, vibing with the psychedelic tadpoles, wondering where the light show had gone. Realized I’d gotten something stuck underneath me. Not sure what, it just kinda prodded where I didn’t expect anything to prod. Almost like one of those special old people chair covers, with the ’massage’ and ’heat’ functions, only I had no idea how to control it. Some heat. Some vibration. Some both. Some neither. Really weird, but not bad weird, so I tried to ignore it.

Woke up to Isnomi singing lullabies to Vulcan again, hovering her hand between his stock and the top of his case, gliding it back and forth as if petting him. As quietly as I could, I extracted myself from Saffron and snuck over to the Menace. I got almost within arms reach, then pounced on her. She squeaked and jumped, then teared up and started blubbering.

”Oh, no! I’m sorry, sweetie, did I scare you?”

”Na! Na, mama, na!” She shook her head hard enough to rattle her little brain, but she kept blubbering.

”Did I hurt you? Did you hurt yourself?”

”Na,” she said, almost incomprehensible through the ongoing waterworks.

I shrugged and scooped her up into a hug. ”Tell momma what’s wrong, Menace, and I’ll try to fix it.”

She sniffled the sobbing to a stop, then hiccupped out, ”Ahnama ta bada bak.”

”You did what to your brother’s box?”

”Ta.” At my continued look of confusion, she waved a hand near the top of the box a couple times, miming slapping at it. ”Ahnama na ca na.” Then she broke down into blubbery tears again.

I snuggled her close, stroking her charcoal curls as I murmured to her. ”No, no, Menace, you didn’t mean to touch. I scared you, and you bumped into it. That’s on momma, not on you.” She kept blubbering, I’m not sure if she even heard me tell her she wasn’t in trouble. So I tried singing to her, awful singing voice and all.

”Hush little Menace, don’t you cry, Momma’s gonna sing you a lullaby,

Hush little baby don’t say a word; Momma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.

If that mockingbird won’t sing, Momma’s gonna buy you a golden ring.

If that gold ring turns to brass, Momma’s going to give you a multi-pass.

If your multi-pass don’t get you in, Momma’s gonna put you in a baking tin.

If your baking tin goes in the oven, Mom’ll be annoyed at the hags in the coven.

If that coven won’t let you go, Momma’s gonna beat them into dough.

If that dough won’t fucking rise, Momma’s gonna buy you a big meat pie.

If that meat pie done gets et, Momma’s song won’t be done quite yet.

’Cause so long as you’re my Isnomi girl, you’ll be the scariest little Menace in the world.”

By the end, between the lyrics and my best kid’s show host voice, she managed to get her blubbering under control. She even managed a quiet, ”dahda,” at the end.

”I can’t tell if I’m still dreaming, or if you’re trying to pass that rampant word salad off as an actual lullaby.” Saffron’s commentary held more than a little bit of a yawn.

”Yeah, I don’t remember shit about that lullaby except, like, the first line or two. She liked it though.”

Saffron yawned, stretched, arched enough to point her cooch and boobs at opposite walls, then rolled out of bed to her feet. ”It appears she did.” She nodded down to the Menace, who’d snuck herself around to start nursing. I sighed, shook my head, and Mimicked Saffron. ”Not going to go on about how weird it is?”

I shook my head and stroked Isnomi’s curls. ”Nah. I mean, it still is, a little bit, but I’m glad I’ve gotten used to it now instead of waiting until after you ship out. Think we might both need this what with missing you.”

She settled in behind me. I’m not sure if she Mimicked me or just shapeshifted bigger, because putting eyes in the back of my head would be weird. She wrapped her arms around me and sang the same song I had, only right, and if she hadn’t Mimicked me, she could do a scarily accurate rendition of my voice. Well, okay, I think she got the lyrics right, because she has a functional brain. Apparently original recipe works, too, because the next thing I knew Isnomi and I woke up to Marie pushing her cart into the room. I sat there trying to think of a way to gently wake the menace while Saffron pushed herself to her feet behind me. I looked over my shoulder to ask her how best to rouse the little one and got a front row seat to Saffron, as me, getting nuzzled and kissed by Marie.

”Interesting. Not quite sure how I feel about that.”

Before Marie’s puzzled look could melt into hurt, Saffron went back to being herself and said, ”try that again.”

I went back to being me, laying Isnomi on her bed as I rose, then snuggling up behind Saffron as Marie lifted her up so she didn’t have to bend over quite so far. I laid the side of my head against her back and put my arms around them both. The thought that some day soon she’d be away in the field, probably in danger, possibly hurt or killed just would not leave my head. When Marie came up for air, Saffron chuckled, vibrating my chest as she did so. ”I’m not quite sure how I feel about being the filling in this sandwich.”

I snickered. ”Sandwich? You between the two of us is barely a thin layer of butter in the middle of a loaf of bread.”

She twisted around to nip at my ear while Marie laid her head atop mine and purred. ”That sounded like a complaint.”

I just nuzzled into both of them. ”Nah. You must be hearing things. I love buttered bread.”

She looked behind me and sighed. ”Sadly, despite our early start, none of our muffins will wind up buttered this morning.”

She nodded, and I turned my head to see Isnomi sitting on the edge of her bed, eyes huge, arms reaching for us. ”Ub! Ub!”

Marie saved us from having to twist around too much by one-handing the menace and depositing her on my shoulder, where she slipped her legs around Saffron’s neck and hugged the back of her head. After that we just stood there a while, trying to forget about tomorrow and focus on now. I fucked it up eventually, of course, by saying, ”I’m gonna miss this.”

Saffron took a deep breath, pushing us all apart a little as she did. ”Well, then, get those Volunteers ready to march fast and long. The sooner we get there, the sooner we can kick the shit out of the ’Damn Army and I can get back home and focus on important things.” She twisted around and nuzzled me again before straightening out and doing the same to Marie. ”Like exploring the possibilities of something so deceptively simple as bread and butter.”

That got me; I started laughing, and pulled back a little so as not to knock Isnomi off of Saffron’s shoulders. So of course she leapt at me and knocked me backward onto her little bed, giggling like a crazy person the entire time. ”Oh, that’s mean to do that when we’ve got to get to work.”

She leaned backward, nearly as far as we’d done yesterday while howling, and while dangling upside down sing-songed, ”Never said I wasn’t mean.”

So fuckin’ adorkable, even when she’s taunting me like that. Hell, especially when she’s taunting me like that.

Of course, with that image in my brain, there may have been a few new verses in the Jody calls today. Shouting obscene poetry about my wife at the top of my lungs, getting the Volunteers to shout along with me so she could hear it from the far side of the Academy is romantic, right?

Right?