NIGHTS OF HALLOW

”I am into you, Perdita Kartar,” Sthena uttered, his gaze fixed on Perdita’s shocked one. His hand held hers in a slightly tight grip in silent assurance of his intentions towards her and also as though he was afraid she would disappear.

Perdita stared at Sthena with an utterly gobsmacked expression because she was not expecting those words to come from Sthena. Not even in her dreams had she imagined that something like that would come from someone, let alone hearing it from the red-haired vampire King who now held her hands.

Perdita opened her mouth to speak but no words could come out of her lips. All she did was stare at him as he did to her. She blinked rapidly to get herself down from the high horse Sthena was taking her to and also to get her thoughts in order.

”I...” Perdita uttered in a whisper and as she did, she felt herself sway backward while withdrawing her gaze from Sthena’s intense one. When she returned her gaze to Sthena, she shook her head negatively and swiftly withdrew her hands from his grip. She hastily scrambled away from him while muttering under her breath, ”No,”

”No. This is not right. I shouldn’t. You shouldn’t, there’s no way...” Perdita stopped her rambling as her heart took over from where her mouth stopped as it shuddered in her chest in loud beats. She shook her head again in dismissal as her lips continued from where they stopped, ”There’s no way you—you would like me.”

Seeing the way Perdita moved away from him, creating the distance he tried closing by walking towards her. His expression turned sullen when Perdita backed away again. With his gaze that had turned smouldering, he asked, ”What do you mean there’s no way I would like you, Perdita? You are a lovable woman and no man wouldn’t want to be with you.”

”Still, it isn’t right. You shouldn’t do this!” Perdita swung her arm in frustration as her voice quivered together with her heart. Her green eyes held emotions she had bottled several years ago, and now it was crumbling right in front of Sthena. No! She wouldn’t let that happen. She would never welcome those fears again.

”You haven’t told me why I should or shouldn’t like you, Perdita?” Sthena continued in a calm voice amid the chaos that was brewing in his head and heart. He had never known what it felt like to love a woman, and the one person his heart had knowingly or unknowingly welcomed was rejecting him right when he decided to confess his feelings.

When he didn’t receive an answer from her, this time he didn’t wait for her to walk away from him again, he instead took a step forward and closed the distance.

Sthena stared at Perdita for a while and questioned, ”Don’t you know it is cruel to forbid one from being attracted to the person they desire?”

Perdita dared not look at Sthena with her emotions in turmoil and his heartbreaking question. She fidgeted with her dress while avoiding seeing the expression on Sthena’s face or to be correct, she didn’t want him to see the expression on her face where she appeared vulnerable. But Sthena in tune with every expression being displayed by Perdita had already seen her through. The fears in her eyes she tried to conceal.

He took Perdita’s clenched hands and slowly freed her fingers from their tight grip as he spoke, ”I’ve told you, a beautiful Lady as you are shouldn’t hurt herself so much with her nails.”

”What are your fears, Perdita?” Sthena’s calm question came again, this time determined to know why she was behaving like she did. One thing he didn’t want to happen was Perdita being uncomfortable towards or around him. He had decided that this was the woman he harbored feelings for and even though she didn’t feel the same way for him, he was going to make sure he brought her into the sweet and warm cocoon of love his heart had and felt for her.

”Are you overwhelmed by my sudden confession or—” Sthena paused as he continued working on Perdita’s fingers. The slow movement of his hands felt as though the locks and barriers she used to guide her heart were being pulled at as they threatened to loosen like her clenched fingers making her heart vulnerable.

When Sthena pulled the last finger of Perdita, he let her hands go as he went on with his question, ”—or am I the only one harboring this feeling?”

There was a moment of silence between them as Sthena allowed Perdita to process what he had asked her and also to allow her heart to settle before she answered his question.

Perdita took a shaky deep breath while forcing herself to be brave and look Sthena in the eye. She finally spoke, ”Both.”

”Both?” Sthena questioned back in uncertainty. ”By saying both, you imply that you are overwhelmed by my confession and I am also the only one dancing to the tunes of my heart?”

”Yes,” Came Perdita’s firm and resolved answer. ”Your confession came at the wrong time and also—” She paused while she calculated her next words but before she could pronounce them, Sthena placed a finger on her lips, shutting the remaining words in her mouth. He remarked,

”Do not be in a haste to utter the words you want to say, Perdita. You may be confused about what your heart is saying now and is only speaking with your head.”

”I do not harbor the same feeling you have for me, Sthena,” Perdita spoke in a tight strained voice, wanting to get her point known.

”Why lie against your own heart and what it says? Hm?” Sthena titled his head in question. He tapped his chest as he continued to speak, ”The loud beating of your heart says it louder than your mouth did.”

”Do not mistake the beating of my heart for the fantasy you are enveloped in.” Perdita countered his words with her angry ones. More than feeling frustrated and confused, she felt annoyed with Sthena and all he had been saying since he started his confession.

She knew her words were harsh, but what other option did she have to protect herself? She couldn’t allow herself to love and she wouldn’t allow another person to harbor feelings for her.

Sthena took a deep breath and nodded in understanding. He approached Perdita once more. He raised his hand to touch her but stopped midway. Retracting his hand to his side, he said, ”I won’t force you to acknowledge my feelings or yours, but then, you should know that my eyes and heart are set for only you. You’ll get to appreciate today when that day comes.”

”That day will never come,” Perdita’s reply came out firm and confident.

”Hmm,” Sthena hummed understandingly and said, ”Don’t be too sure of your heart now, it changes. And when that day comes, my arms will be here to catch you.”

Another silence ensued between Sthena and Perdita as they stared unwaveringly at each other. One with a resolved look not to fall and the other with a determined look to cause the fall.

After what felt like an eternity, Perdita broke the silence as she asked in a whisper, ”Can we go home now?”

Sthena nodded, noticing the tired look on Perdita’s face. He didn’t mean to add to her problems. He should have provided her with the support and solace she needed, but today’s event when he could have lost her brought out the flaming desire in him to call her his. Today’s event was something he didn’t want to imagine happening again, and even if it did, he wanted to be the one to protect her.

”Ready to teleport?” He asked as he spread out his arms, waiting for Perdita to come in.

Left with no other option to go home, Perdita walked towards Sthena’s outstretched arms and was immediately engulfed in his warm and soft embrace. An embrace she fought herself from enjoying.

”These arms are only going to embrace you, and they will be here only for you, Perdita,” Sthena whispered in the crook of Perdita’s ear before they finally teleported leaving the cold and snow-filled forest behind.