Fate's Slave - Shadow Slave X Honkai Star Rail

The fear of abandonment.

What a familiar concept.

As Sunny watched Seele step through the strange portal she had torn open, he couldn’t help but want to scream. To apologize. To explain that he hadn’t meant his words in their entirety.

And yet, he simply couldn’t bring himself to do so.

Perhaps for others, bonds were something simple to forge. One encounter or two may have been enough to create a friendship that would last for an eternity, simply through the power of positive first impressions. Even if the more vile, less savory parts of someone’s character was eventually revealed, he was sure that there were plenty of people who could look past those flaws.

He was sure, that if he was completely genuine, then perhaps Seele would accept those parts of him.

...For Sunny, whose connections only existed through his own blood, sweat, and tears, they were nothing but fragile pastimes. They took too much effort to create, and even then, they were nothing but a thin thread, waiting to snap at the slightest brush of a blade.

It was for that reason that he despised those threads. That which should be warm and gentle felt like cold hands suffocating him from the inside. His gut felt like it would consume itself, leaving nothing but a black hole of Nihility. His heart melted into a pool of corrosive sludge, threatening to drown him.

...So, he let it.

He allowed himself to be strangled. He allowed himself to be digested. He allowed his lungs to fill with mud.

Enduring a small amount of pain to save himself from a much greater agony... was something he was willing to do without complaint.

He could lunge forward towards her — to hug or to kill, he wasn’t sure — but he remained seated, wearing the countenance of an inconsiderate asshole who was easy to hate. It wasn’t too hard for Sunny to do, at the very least, considering that it wasn’t too far off from his actual personality.

Once the portal closed, repairing space itself, he took the time to crack a joke to Serpent in a useless attempt to soothe himself. Really... there was probably nothing that could actually soothe him.

Except for that ever-distant sunset, whatever he even meant by that.

In any case, Sunny was familiar with the fear of abandonment... but not abandonment itself.

Rather, he was the one who always did the abandoning. He walked away when he saw that Rain was happy, and he was not. He hadn’t tried hard enough to stop Elyas from trying to fight Solvane. He had given Noctis the knife to slay himself, even though he could have easily refused, even if it ended up costing his own life. He had chosen to not go after Veliona, and he had chosen to not leave a Shadow to protect Bronya.

...And he chose to allow Seele to walk away.

He knew... he knew that he wasn’t enough for anyone. He was just a filthy Outskirts Rat that was Cursed to be alone.

And perhaps, because of that Curse, whether consciously or subconsciously, he allowed everything to slip through his fingers.

He was much more comfortable with being alone by his own choice than being alone due to the choices of others.

At least, then, he could say he wasn’t a slave to the whims of others.

***

’...Shit.’

March grimaced as she finally escaped that episode, or, more accurately, was released of it. Another thing she was released from was... well, the comfort of her bed, for one.

At the current moment, she was unceremoniously crumpled up on the floor, lower body raised upwards as her head was pressed against the carpet. Her comfy pink pajama shirt rode up in a very scandalous manner, revealing a view that some would consider biblically enlightening.

Not that she knew what biblically meant.

Her eyes darted around her room as she pulled down (up?) her shirt, looking for any suspicious patches of darkness lingering in the corners of her room. Unfortunately, the Spell thought it funny to give a pervert an Aspect that gave him a second set of eyes, so there was no such thing as being too careful. Her character was that of a chaste and pure lady, after all!

Though... that lecherous Devil probably knew she was awake now, considering that the range of his sixth sense was far greater than the range of her Flaw, and she’d be an utter idiot to believe he wasn’t always watching.

”Damnation...”

She slapped a hand to her mouth.

...It couldn’t be, right?

March dexterously flipped over, seating herself on her bed as she bit her lip.

Was this going to be a problem... no, it definitely would.

***

About half an hour later, March walked into the Express’ kitchen. Freshly bathed and dressed in plain, yet, in her own words, cute and innocuous clothing. She usually wasn’t awake this early, but her untimely prying had other plans. Fortunately, there was nobody inside to ask any questions...

Except, of course, the person who she wanted to see least.

”...What are you doing?”

March’s words left her lips before she could even properly consider them. Not without due reason, of course. Instead of stepping into the kitchen to see Sunny having a particularly sensual encounter with one delicacy or the other, she instead saw him... filling up a watering can.

Similar to herself, he seemed to have been cleansed recently... of blood and whatever other bodily fluids he had the pleasure to bathe in earlier. He seemed physically fine, but she had felt the lingering damage to his soul herself. His clothes... well, they weren’t really clothes. Instead, they were manifested shadows fitted to look like clothes.

And, naturally, they were black.

She was a little inclined to agree with Noctis when it came to his strong opinions on the simplistic and uninspired color.

When Sunny turned away from the sink that he had been using to fill the gardening can, his gaze lingered on her for a few moments. He raised a brow in confusion before shaking his head:

”I’m trying to take care of a dying tree. No idea how, though.”

March sent him a dubious look in response. Taking care of a tree? What a philanthropical idea. Completely unlike himself, actually. There had to be an ulterior motive. Perhaps it was that one tree that used a mind hex to enthrall those who eat its fruits? Maybe he went and turned it into his servant as payback.

...Wait, did he even have a way to go back to that place?

”Oh, yeah? Well, I, March The Magnificent, would like to gaze upon this supposed creature of bark and roots!”

He sent her a face that told her about his lacking desire to humor her.

”It’s just a tree, you know?”

”I’ll believe it when I see it!”

***

”Oh.”

”Yeah, oh.”

Sunny continued to water his parents’ grave while mentally considering what kind of idea she had in her head. Did she take him for the kind of fool who would bring around a carnivorous plant?

...Actually, maybe she did.

In any case, he was a little curious about something. He pointed to his eyes:

”You, uh... nice eyes? Very natural?”

A pair of striking red orbs blinked in response.

”What is this about?”

Sunny coughed.

”Well, you know... the thing you did with your eyes? I just thought that, as respectful as I am, I might as well compliment them. That’s what people do, right?”

The dark red orbs curved in confusion.

”Be more spec— oh.”

With another blink, they were gone, replaced by a pastel mix of pink and blue. Sunny gaped:

”Hey! I was admiring those!”

March stepped away while sending him a reproachful look.

”Ugh, just forget about it, you weirdo.”

”That’s a bit difficult. How did you do that, anyways?”

”None of your business.”

”How cold...”

March’s gaze lingered on the five scratch marks on the tree for a while. Eventually, she took a few steps back, sitting down on the grass of the Express’ indoor garden.

”That tree’s going to die without sunlight, you know?”

Sunny blinked a few times, before scowling:

”Is that how it works? Damnation...”

March shivered when she recalled herself letting his catchphrase slip earlier.

”Uh... probably? Well, not like I know anything about trees. Still, even if it does die, it’ll still fork as a grave, right? I... I think those two wouldn’t dislike it too much.”

Sunny hummed.

”You think? Oh, and out of curiosity...”

Sunny sent a meaningful look at March.

”Who are ’those two’ supposed to be referring to?”

’...Whoops.’

Although she wasn’t particularly unnerved on the inside, she made up to put up a slightly nervous facade. Not enough to seem like she was scared, but enough to show that she was aware she stepped on a landmine. It was the cleanest way to show that she was a little regretful, even if she couldn’t control her Flaw in any real way.

Besides, with all the horrific things she has faced, such as the Soul-Devouring Tree, Shuhu, the Emanator of Abundance, the Daemon of Fate ’themself’, the Herrschers who threatened to destroy humanity, the terrible Crimson Spire and the endless abominations called down from the Terror at its peak, the Sequence 4: Black Knight who had absorbed a Stellaron through Grazing...

March froze, genuinely this time. Those... were not her memories.

...It looked like it really was happening. She coughed.

”...Sorry. You know I can’t do anything about it.”

Sunny shrugged, emptying the can of water over the decrepit roots of the old tree.

”It’s whatever. I’ve already said that it was fine, back then. I was just wondering why you’d keep up this charming little act.”

March smiled.

”Aw~ If you thought I was charming, you should have said so earlier~”

Sunny sighed, before sending her a somber look:

”Fine. Be ignorant if you want. I was just letting my preferences show. More importantly...”

He paused for a long moment, before saying:

”...Is your Flaw killing you, March?”