The Dark Rebirth of Pandora: Revenge of the Abyss

Chapter 762: The Problem Fixer

”...Hmmm...” I jot a few things down on a piece of paper and then toss it into the trash, somewhat frustrated, as I decide to leave my office.

”It seems like it won’t work out that well.” I stand up and head to my kitchen, where I pour myself a cup of coffee. I look out the window at the beautiful stars outside, lovely constellations.

”I’m a little tired. I think I’ll leave work for tomorrow.” I twirl a pencil between my fingers and then drop it. The pencil rolls across the floor, hitting the chair by the table, which shifts a few millimeters. The movement knocks the sheet of paper off of it.

The paper flies, hitting the knife block and knocking a knife loose, which knocks the block over. The block shuts the window and shoves the food tray toward the trash while pushing the dish tray toward the sink.

A cherry from one of the meals I finished flies off, hitting the switch on the wall and landing right in the trash. The switch turns on the garbage disposal and the dishwasher.

”...” As I walk toward the door with my cup full of hot coffee, the paper hits a ladle, which falls and slides toward another stand. The vibration makes a little ball on the stand roll off, hit the floor, and bounce up to hit the light switch, turning off the kitchen lights just as I close the door.

”Hmmmm... I’m sleepy...” I head to my bedroom, sipping the coffee without much interest in the taste. Inside my room, I see a globe spinning on the table.

”It seems like it’s still pretty chaotic... I guess I’ll have to improve this... haaa... what a pain. I guess that’s what I get for being the second strongest Pandora there is.” I’m the top two, and unfortunately, I know it.

I’m only below the Omnipotent Pandora, who is the main one. Below her is me, and no one besides her is above me in power.

”Being a Goddess of Multiversal Causality really isn’t easy...” The globe shows every Pandora that exists, and its chaotic spinning represents the problems they cause. Obviously, one of the Original Pandora’s avatars corrupting multiple universes is a problem.

Without me, about 94% of the Pandoras would die from the collapse of their own existences upon themselves. I’m the one who keeps them alive long enough to die naturally instead of imploding from the inside out like a submarine unable to withstand the pressure of the sea.

”That’s pretty unfair to me.” The Omnipotent Pandora never told me I’d have this much work. Taking care of each one is like looking after a child who thinks the universe and reality don’t suffer from the chaos they cause.

And on top of that, no one sees my effort. Everyone doesn’t even know I exist, and that most of them are only alive because I maintain the stability of everything.

”Haa... complaining won’t change anything... I really wanted a romance.” I’m quite different from the other Pandoras. That’s because the timeline I was born in didn’t have several things that shaped the Original Pandora’s tastes. So I’m not sadistic, I’m not a fan of raw meat, and I’m also not much of a fan of torture, even though I’ve taken revenge and violently killed my enemies.

”They all have almost the same variation of lovers. Why didn’t I get a Zephyra, a Delphina, or a Grimm?! I’d even accept a Grimm!!” I complain again as I set my cup down on the table, touching the globe, which makes it spin more slowly.

”There, that should be enough for the next few hours...” I look at the second, smaller globe, completely still. That one shows all the Pandoras that can’t die from the chaotic causality we generate. I’m on that globe. The Omnipotent Pandora is too, and a few others, but it’s much more limited. Only 997 Pandoras are cataloged on that globe, and I don’t need to do anything for the ones registered on it.

”I wonder if they’d be grateful if they knew that all the chaos they cause only doesn’t kill them because I step in... haaa... of course not. They’re all very... problematic...” It’s not like I changed their lives. I just stopped them from being ended out of nowhere with no real reason for it.

Without me, most of them would literally explode or implode. It’s so literal that it makes me feel sad that only the Omnipotent Pandora knows I exist.

”I guess the fact that I live in isolation doesn’t help either...” I scratch my cheek, a little embarrassed. Unfortunately, I’m not very lustful and I’m even a bit shy. I’m one of the most different Pandoras of all, so it turns out I’m still a virgin.

”Aah!! Why do they all have to be so lustful!! It makes me feel like a fake!! I’m the top two and I still haven’t lost my virginity... I don’t even have kids... I don’t... have anyone...” I don’t know if I’m amazing for being below only one Pandora who is Omnipotent among so many, or if I’m a failure for not doing even half of what’s the standard for most versions of Pandora that exist.

”Yeah... maybe I’m that failed aunt from Sunday lunches doomed to live with 37 cats while doing a boring job!” In the beginning, I loved fixing this problem. I felt really important.

Like, I’m not stopping the Pandoras from making mistakes. I’m not stopping wars, deaths, destroyed universes, or absurd decisions. I’m doing something much more basic — preventing the very existence of these versions from collapsing.

But after a while, the work got really boring. It’s almost like an office job. I look at the two globes I created to optimize the work, watch the speed at which the big globe spins, fix the problems, write a report that I review every so often to see if anything changed, and repeat.

No recognition, no gratitude, with practically no one knowing that I do this super important work that keeps them stable.

”Maybe I should get a pet, or a girlfriend so I can stop being a virgin!!” I’m sure it must be amazing. All the Pandoras who get involved in sexual things seem to enjoy it.

”But who would date me?! I’m boring, I have a tedious and eternal life, and I’m not even paid for my work!! I’m completely broke!!” Everything I have I create with my powers. I guess that kind of makes me poor even though I have an incredible house. Nothing here was bought. I don’t even have gold.

”That’s it!! I need to stop being boring!!! I need to become a cooler Pandora... but... what to do...” It’s sad knowing that most of my versions’ lives boil down to violence or sex.

”My only distinguishing trait can’t be the fact that I’m a virgin. I need something more unique! Distinctive! Something that makes whoever sees me someday recognize immediately that I’m a one-of-a-kind Pandora... but what... o-ow! Ow!!” I end up bumping into the table and spilling coffee on myself.

”Oh, great...” I look at the globe.

”Wonderful. I just fucked up a bunch of universes all because of a cup of coffee...” I touch the globe, fixing the problem before everything explodes.

”I should move the globe somewhere else. This happens with irritating frequency...” The chaos they cause leaks out of the globe and creates inconvenient accidents around it. Last time, it broke my computer when it was close to it.

Which is almost ironic. What are just small household accidents for me would be devastating the fabric of countless realities, timelines, and dimensions anywhere else, since there’s a lot of accumulated chaos in the sphere.

”Haaa... I think it’s time to sleep... I’ll just take a shower and lie down in bed...” I yawn, getting up and grabbing a little cloth to clean up the coffee as I return to my extremely casual routine.