Demonic Po*nstar System

Chapter 566: No Dragon Balls

Aria and Bastet both glanced toward Luna at the same time, with amusement flickering across their faces. It was subtle with Aria, only a small curve of the lips, silver eyes brightening with anticipation, but Bastet didn’t bother hiding it at all. One brow lifted, mouth tilting into a knowing smirk as Luna shoveled another forkful of food into her mouth, cheeks puffing slightly as she chewed.

Truth be told, both Moon and Solar mages had great fun whenever the gamer girl went on an unhinged rant about something she felt strongly about.

The gamer girl did just that, back in full force.

Any trace of battlefield composure evaporated the moment she started eating, posture slouching just a bit, and her legs pulled up to her chest with her favorite posture that had horrible ergonomics, making her look like a gremlin who was back in front of a screen instead of surrounded by monsters.

Her mouth filter clearly hadn’t respawned yet, and judging by the way she spoke around a mouthful of mana-dense meat, it might never come back online.

”Seriously,” Luna continued, gesturing vaguely with her fork. ”I swear, this is just dumb. They completely botched their carefully curated image. That Ash dude went from being a badass knight to a dude whose balls are on the net to see for all.”

”...” At that, Kaiden whimpered. His balls were out there to be seen, too! Didn’t that make him a ’retard’ too?!

”I don’t mean it like that, dummy!” Luna shouted and stuffed a drumstick into her boyfriend’s mouth so he couldn’t even begin whining. ”Shut up and eat.”

With her man silenced momentarily, the girl explained herself. ”We have a careful strategy in place that was created after a lot of thought and deliberation. To the outsiders, we might appear as a ’happy go lucky’ bunch who like to have sex coupled with an exhibitionism kink, but all of this has been part of our strategy...”

She didn’t say it out loud for fear of being listened to, but one of the major reasons they even did what they did was to fulfill the Demonic Pornstar System’s rank-up requirements. Without those rewards, they never would’ve set out on this journey.

Compared to that, the Ashen Losers were only chasing money and fame by copying them, missing out on the main reason why the Sinners set out on this path to begin with.

Then the gamer girl smiled. ”And, after coming to our decision of restricting access to half the population, no dude can ever see your balls flinging back and forth as you do us. It’s only the horny chicks who can see it. Isn’t that like the most fulfilling thing for you men, like ever? You guys are known for terrorizing us poor women with your dick pics that literally no woman has ever asked for in the history of mankind, yet you, Kaiden Grey, can do it, and millions of chicks drool over it! They pay hundreds of dollars to have the privilege of seeing them in their full glory, violently swinging back and forth, slapping our bodies like a pair of battering rams!”

Kaiden froze. He stopped munching on his meal, remaining suspended in time.

For the first time in what felt like forever, color crept up his neck and into his cheeks, slow and undeniable, forming the kind of blush that couldn’t be suppressed no matter how many dungeons he’d cleared or monsters he’d crushed.

The drumstick was still lodged firmly in his mouth, and all he could do was stare at Luna with wide, disbelieving eyes.

Nyx didn’t last even a second. ”Gremlin bestie, you are impossible! Have you absolutely no shame?! Hahaha!”

She burst out laughing so hard she had to brace herself against the table, shoulders shaking as an unholy snort escaped her before she could stop it. ”Oh my gods... Look at Kai’s face! Luna, you actually killed him. That’s it. The Paragon of Sin, slain by his girl, talking about his jewels violently slapping against our skin.”

Aria, meanwhile, reacted instantly, fingers tightening around Kaiden’s hand as she leaned closer, eyes full of genuine concern despite the chaos. ”Kai, chew properly, please!!” she begged with her thumb rubbing circles against his knuckles. ”Please don’t choke. Luna is just joking around, don’t pay attention to it.”

Indeed. The possessive yandere went into full worried girlfriend mode as soon as she saw how flustered he was, fearing the worst. Using her inner nourishing nurse, she tried to ease his troubles with her warmth.

That only made it worse.

Calypso threw her head back and howled with laughter, with her crimson tail flicking wildly as she continued munching on her meat.

Bastet leaned back in her seat, arms crossing beneath her tanned chest, grin stretching wide across her face as her golden eyes sparkled with mischief. ”Don’t worry, Master~ It’s not like your balls are even on the screen, like, at all,” she added smoothly, voice practically purring with amusement. ”Our films are taken from our points of view. The only way the two little guys ever make an appearance is if one of us records from behind you, which almost never happens.”

”Or we gobble his balls up?” Luna added slyly, making Kaiden blush again. ”Stop acting like they are some rare dragon balls or something. They are paragon balls, not exactly a rare sight to behold in this day and age. Unless you’re a dude, I guess.”

The Ra-Blessed Felinid tilted her head to the side dangerously with her grin sharpening devilishly as she observed the chattering gremlin. There was no warmth in her smile. ”How about you stop running your foul little mouth for a moment and let me get a word in?”

Luna paused mid-chew.

Actually paused.

Her eyes widened a fraction, fork hovering halfway to her mouth as she slowly turned her head toward Bastet, clearly not expecting the felinid to snap back like this.

A beat passed. Then another.

”... Huh.” Luna swallowed. She nodded once as if something fundamental had just shifted in her worldview. ”Respect gained.”

She leaned back, resuming her aggressive munching on the drumstick with renewed enthusiasm, legs still tucked up on the bench like an ergonomics nightmare incarnate. Her gaze flicked back to Bastet, bright and expectant, with a grin tugging at her lips.

”Alrighty then, Choco Kitty,” she said cheerfully, mouth full and completely unbothered. ”Go ahead. Enlighten us.”

She gestured vaguely with the drumstick. ”Tell us why the paragon balls are apparently a rare sight to behold.”

Around the table, interest sparked immediately.

”Can we stop calling them paragon balls?” Kaiden whimpered. He was ignored, save for Aria’s gentle stroking of his palm, which, once again, only made it worse, making him feel like a dumb kid who needed his mother’s protection not to cry due to being bullied.

”Stop putting words in my mouth, gremlin. I didn’t try to say that they were a mythical sight to behold. At the end of the day, they are paragon balls, not dragon balls. Instead of being rare and mythical, they are more like... Common and delicious. What I wanted to say is that the paragon balls are basically irrelevant to our videos. In fact, not even the big boy himself shows up that often on tape. It’s only a few glimpses here or there, mostly when Kai enters us... Then, the focus shifts to Kai’s face and muscular chest; those are what we’re looking at while he... does us...”

Kaiden made a strangled noise around the drumstick. ”Stop... Just stop...”