I Eat Monster and Gain Powers

Chapter 13: The Smell of Blood and Something Else

The winter had tried to kill him.

Not the way the rabbit had tried, with teeth and horn and the immediate violence of a cornered thing. Not the way the reindeer had tried, with mass and momentum and the simple physics of being larger than him. The winter had tried the way old things try, slow and patient and absolute, wearing him down through cold and dark and the steady accumulation of days that all looked the same.

He had survived.

He sat at the cave entrance on the last day of what he counted as the third month of snow and looked out at the forest and took stock the way he had learned to take stock, quietly, without ceremony, the facts of his existence arranged in his mind like the inventory of a man who had become very good at not dying.

He had stored meat before the snow came. The reindeer he had killed in the weeks after the wolf, dragging them back to the cave before the ground froze, cutting the meat into strips and hanging them from the ceiling of the cave where the cold air moved through. The rabbit meat he had dried and stacked in piles at the back, each piece wrapped in leaves and bound with vine. The wolf meat he had eaten first, because it was the freshest and because he had wanted whatever the wolf would give him before the winter locked him in place.

The cold had kept everything. The meat that would have rotted in a week during the warm months had hung in the cave for weeks, then months, the temperature dropping until the strips were hard and preserved, the fat white against the dark flesh, the smell of them something that had become as familiar as his own breathing.

He had eaten less during the winter. His body had demanded it, some ancient part of him that understood what the cold meant and what it required. The hunger was always there, the same hunger that had driven him since the first rabbit, but it was quieter now, patient in a way it had not been in the beginning. He ate when he needed to. He saved when he could. The lightning he had not used since the snow began, because the lightning cost and the cost was food and the food was finite.

He had slept more than he had ever slept in his life.

The days were short, the grey light coming late and leaving early, and in the long dark between he had learned to let his body rest the way the forest rested, slow and deep, the fire burning down to coals and his breath misting in the cold air of the cave. He had wrapped himself in the reindeer blanket and the wolf cloak and the rabbit skins and had slept like something waiting for the world to change.

The world was changing now.

He could feel it in the light first. The grey was still grey, the same grey it had been for months, but there was something in it now that had not been there before, a quality that he could not name but could feel in his chest when he sat at the cave entrance and watched the sky. The snow was still on the ground, deep in some places, crusted and hard in others, but the edges of it were softening, the drifts settling in a way that told him something was ending.

He stood up.

He had not been outside the cave in weeks. The thought of it was strange when he let himself think about it, which he did not, because thinking about it would lead to thinking about the walls of the cave and the ceiling of the cave and the way they had become his world in a way the forest had never been. He had gone out to collect water, to gather wood, to check the traps he had set near the cave before the freeze. He had not gone beyond the familiar radius, the hundred meters of trampled snow that he had walked so many times that his feet had worn a path through the white.

He stepped out now and the snow crunched under his boots and the sound of it was loud in a way that made him stop.

He stood in the entrance and listened. The forest was quiet the way it had been quiet all winter, the muffled silence of snow and cold and things that were waiting for something they could not name. But underneath the quiet there was something else, a sound that was not a sound, a quality in the air that told him the waiting was almost over.

He walked.

He walked through the forest that had been his home for seven months, moving slowly at first, his legs remembering what it felt like to cover ground, his lungs remembering what it felt like to pull air that was not stale with smoke and sleep. The snow was deep in the places where the wind had not reached, up to his knees in the hollows, thin and crusted on the ridges where the trees opened to the sky.

He found the fallen tree where he had practiced the lightning in the warm months, the trunk he had used to learn control, to learn what the current felt like when it built and what it felt like when he let it go. The trunk was there, the black marks he had left on it still visible against the grey bark. He stood in front of it and raised his right hand and called the lightning.

It came.

Not the thin arc of the early days, not the uncontrolled burst of the first weeks. It came clean and steady, a current that flowed from his fingers to the trunk and stayed there, blue-white light against the grey bark, the smell of ozone sharp in the cold air. He held it for five seconds, six, seven, his arm steady, his breathing even, the hunger that would come later something he would deal with when it arrived.

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He let go.

The trunk was black where the current had hit, the frost on the bark vaporized in a circle around the mark. He looked at his hand and the lightning was still there under his skin, waiting, the same hum he had learned to live with, the same current that had become as much a part of him as his heartbeat.

He ran.

He ran through the forest the way he had run in the months before the snow, his legs finding the rhythm that the wolf had given him, the rhythm that made the trees blur and the ground disappear and the air rush past his face in a way that felt like flying. The snow made it harder, the footing uncertain, the crust breaking under his weight in some places and holding in others, but he ran anyway, because running was what he had learned to do in this place, because running was the thing that made him feel like himself.

He ran until his lungs burned and his legs ached and the hunger that the lightning had started was joined by a deeper hunger, the hunger of a body that had been still for too long and was demanding to be used. He stopped in a clearing he had not seen since before the snow, a place where the reindeer had passed in the warm months, and he stood in the middle of it with his hands on his knees and breathed.

The hunger was good. The ache in his legs was good. The cold air in his lungs was good. He was alive and he was moving and the winter was ending and he was still here, still himself, still the thing that had crawled out of the river and killed the rabbit and eaten the slimes and taken what the wolf had.

He stretched. He moved through the forms he had developed in the months before the snow, the movements that kept his body ready, that kept the strength in his legs and the speed in his running and the lightning in his hands. He jumped. He climbed. He swung from the vines that hung frozen and brittle in the cold, testing them, feeling them crack under his weight and letting go before they broke. He was slower than he had been, the months of stillness having taken something from him that he would need to rebuild, but the strength was still there, the speed was still there, the lightning was still there.

He was still there.

He was climbing a tree on the far side of the clearing, his hands finding the frozen bark, his legs pushing him up toward the canopy, when he heard the sound.

It was far. It was very far. The wolf had given him hearing that could pick up the sound of a rabbit’s heart at a hundred meters, the sound of a reindeer’s breathing at five hundred, the sound of the river moving over stones at a kilometer. This sound was further than that, maybe two kilometers, maybe three, and it was not the sound of an animal.

It was voices.

He stopped on the branch and held perfectly still and listened.

The voices were not clear. They were too far, the words lost in the distance, the sound of them carrying through the cold air in a way that told him they were human, that they were speaking a language he did not recognize, that there were more than one of them and that something was wrong.

He heard the wolves.

He knew the sound now. He had heard it from the canopy when he first found them, had heard it from the ground when they chased him, had heard it in his nightmares during the long winter nights when he dreamed of yellow eyes and teeth that were longer than his fingers. The wolves were close to the voices, close enough that the sound of them was clear even at this distance, and the sound was the sound of a hunt.

He moved.

He moved through the canopy, his hands finding branches that were slick with frost, his legs pushing him across gaps that would have killed him before the rabbit, his body swinging from vines that cracked and held and cracked again. He moved fast, faster than he had moved since the snow began, the hunger and the cold and the months of stillness falling away as he went.

The trees blurred past him. The sound of the voices got closer. The sound of the wolves got closer. He could smell them now, the wolves, the musk of them carried on the cold air, and underneath the musk there was something else, something that made his chest tighten and his hands close hard around the vine he was swinging from.

Blood. Human blood. A lot of it.

He came out of the trees at the edge of a clearing that was not a clearing, a space where the snow was red in long streaks and the bodies were scattered like something had dropped them from a height. He landed on a branch twenty meters up and looked down and the smell of blood was everywhere.

There were four of them. Women. Dead. Their armour was torn, the metal plates bent and punctured, the leather beneath shredded by teeth that had gone through it like paper. One of them was missing an arm. One of them was missing most of her face. The snow around them was red and churned and the wolves were still there, three of them, the grey leader and the white one and the black-grey one, their muzzles dark with blood, their bodies low and ready.

The fourth woman was still standing.

She was backed against a tree at the far edge of the clearing, her sword in both hands, her armour dented and torn in a dozen places. Her face was pale, white skin against black hair that had come loose from whatever had been holding it, the strands of it moving in the wind that came through the trees. She was bleeding from a wound on her arm, the blood running down her fingers and dripping onto the snow, but her sword was steady and her eyes were fixed on the wolves and she was not screaming.

She was beautiful.

He had not thought about beauty since he arrived in this forest. He had thought about hunger and cold and the weight of meat in his hands. He had thought about the sound of a rabbit’s heart and the smell of a reindeer’s hide and the feel of lightning moving through his fingers. He had not thought about the shape of a woman’s face or the way her hair moved in the wind or the line of her jaw when she held a sword against three wolves that wanted to kill her.

He thought about it now.

The wolves moved. The grey leader took a step forward, its head low, its yellow eyes fixed on the woman’s throat. The white one circled to her left. The black-grey one circled to her right. They were patient, these wolves, the way wolves were patient when they knew the thing they wanted was not going anywhere.

The woman’s sword moved, a small shift, her weight transferring to her back foot. She knew what she was doing. He could see it in the way she held herself, the way her eyes tracked the wolves without blinking, the way her breathing was steady despite the blood running down her arm. She was a fighter. She was going to die anyway.

He should let her die.

He did not know these people. He did not know this woman. He had survived seven months in this forest by hunting and eating and becoming something that was not quite human, and the thing he had become was not a hero. He was not the protagonist of a web novel who saved the beautiful woman and was rewarded with a place in her world. He was a man who killed things and ate them and took what they had.

He should let her die.

He smiled.

It was not a nice smile. He knew this the way he knew the feel of the lightning under his skin, the way he knew the weight of the horn dagger on his hip, the way he knew the taste of wolf meat in his mouth. It was the smile of a thing that had been hungry for seven months and had just found something it wanted.