I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

After selling all of the stuffed buns, An Lin applied for some leave before setting off for Dou Shuai Palace.

There, he met the fat ball of a man, Yi Xi, who seemed to have grown even rounder during the time he had been away.

“Brother Yi Xi, I’ll cut straight to the point. How much is your cheapest immortal pill?” An Lin got straight down to business.

Yi Xi’s eyes widened in shock as he drew a sharp intake of breath. “Brother An Lin, has… Has your pill consumption rank already progressed to such an advanced stage? You’re already consuming divine pills now?!”

An Lin’s expression darkened slightly. “What the hell is a pill consumption rank?”

“This is a cultivation base system I devised for us pill consumption cultivators! Perhaps we can develop into a faction in the future,” Yi Xi replied excitedly.

An Lin waved his hands as his head began to throb. “Let’s get back on topic. I just want to inquire about the price of a divine pill!”

There was no time to waste. He had to progress to the Return to Void Stage as soon as possible.

There wasn’t really much he could do about the cultivation method and the divine tool at the moment, so he could only turn his focus to the divine pill for now.

“Divine pills… It’s quite hard to determine a price for them as its really difficult to find the materials.”

“However, divine pills require divine rank medicines and fruits as refinement materials, so they definitely won’t be cheap.” Yi Xi thought to himself for a moment before continuing, “Among the divine pills I’ve seen, even the cheapest cost several tens of millions of spirit stones. Most pill refinement masters won’t take on jobs like this without a deposit of at least a hundred million spirit stones.”

An Lin grabbed onto Yi Xi’s hand upon hearing this. “Brother, do you believe in me?”

Yi Xi nodded with a serious expression. “I do!”

An Lin was ecstatic to hear this.

“But I’m not capable of refining divine pills,” Yi Xi admitted.

An Lin’s chest constricted as he said incredulously, “B-but you’re the top pill refinement master in Dou Shuai Palace!”

Yi Xi rolled his eyes. “So what? I’m only a mere Supreme Final Stage pill refinement master.”

An Lin’s lips twitched upon hearing this. A MERE Supreme Final Stage pill refinement master?

The people over at the Pill Tower would probably rise up in outrage if they were to hear something like this!

Yi Xi continued, “A divine pill is so difficult to refine that it is arguably more difficult than breaking through to the Dao Integration Stage. In any case, I’ve never heard of a pill refinement master below the Dao Integration Stage that is capable of refining divine pills.”

“Not even Chang’e?” An Lin asked.

“Er…” Yi Xi choked on his words. “Chang’e is the exception. She’s a freak. Her pill refinement rank is already at the Half-Step Dao Endowment Stage, so she should be able to refine lower rank divine pills. I cannot hope to compete with her…”

An Lin’s interest was piqued upon hearing this. “What is this Dao Endowment Stage?”

“That’s a bit complicated to explain. To put it more simply, it’s when a pill refinement master has reached the pinnacle in the art of pill refinement before attempting to make a further breakthrough, thereby endowing their pills with their higher level of understanding of the dao.

“Only a pill refined by a Dao Endowment Stage grandmaster using divine rank ingredients can be truly referred to as a divine pill!

“It could be said that the same divine pill refined by different pill refinement masters would all be different, as the dao of their pill refinement masters are also all different.”

An Lin felt like his horizons had been greatly broadened after hearing Yi Xi’s introduction.

“So that means I’ll have to look for Chang’e?” An Lin muttered to himself.

“You can look for my master as well!”

Yi Xi patted his stomach with a smug expression.

No, wait, that was his chest.

Well… It wasn’t entirely incorrect to call it his stomach! With his current figure, there really was no clear boundary between his chest and his stomach.

“Your master? He’s a very busy man. I’m not sure if I should trouble him.” An Lin was a little hesitant.

“It’ll be fine as long as you prepare enough money. Just gather a few hundred million spirit stones, and my master will definitely come!” Yi Xi replied with a confident expression.

An Lin: “Hehe.”

This was a super tycoon of the cultivating world, the likes of which a peasant like An Lin could not afford.

After thinking to himself for a moment, he decided to visit Chang’e. After all, he was quite familiar with her, so it should make things easier.

Thus, An Lin bade farewell to Yi Xi and headed to the Moon Palace via the Heavenly Court’s teleportation spell formation.

Underneath a starry night sky.

A flash of light appeared, and An Lin arrived at this silvery-white continent.

The faint aroma of osmanthus flowers wafted toward him with the breeze, and he couldn’t help but inhale deeply. The fragrance of the flowers spread throughout his entire body like a pair of warm, gentle hands caressing his meridians, making his body feel extremely carefree and relaxed.

“This really is a good place,” An Lin praised in a genuine voice.

He came to the gate of the Moon Palace and stopped beside the sign that stated that all men and dogs alike were barred from entry.

An Lin was feeling slightly uneasy as he pulled out his voice transmission talisman.

A few seconds later, a cold, yet slightly lazy voice sounded from the other end.

“Hey there, great Sect Leader An Lin, what’s up?”

An Lin was a little embarrassed. “Great Sect Leader is a bit too much, you can call me mighty Sect Leader instead.”

Chang’e: “…”

Doo doo doo…

The voice transmission had been cut off.

“Gasp…”

Only then did An Lin realize who he was just talking to.

This was the leader of the Moon Palace, Chang’e, who was also known as the number one pill refinement master in the Heavenly Court!

He was used to joking around with others, and he almost instinctively flexed to Chang’e…

An Lin immediately cursed himself for his carelessness.

He mustered up the courage to contact Chang’e again. Thankfully, he had not been blacklisted as the voice transmission connected shortly.

“What do you want?” Chang’e asked in a cold voice.

“Er, I’m outside the Moon Palace right now, and I have something I need your help with,” An Lin replied in a sincere voice.

“Is it urgent?”

“Hmm, not really that urgent…” An Lin replied after a momentary hesitation.

“Your abrupt appearance here is so out of place, like a fish on a patch of grassland,” a soft voice sounded.

An Lin was dumbstruck. “Huh?”

“Sigh…” The woman let loose a faint sigh and said, “Life is so fleeting and short, like a guest who comes and goes at will. If there is no urgency, then why not enjoy life rather than look on too far ahead into the future?”

An Lin’s mouth gaped open as his brain was reduced to a pile of mush.

He suddenly recalled Chang’e’s traumatizing hipster disease.

He couldn’t f*cking understand a word she was saying!

Tears began to well up in An Lin’s eyes.

How was he going to communicate with her if he couldn’t even understand what she was saying?

Reinforcements… He needed some really strong reinforcements!

He immediately unleashed his Water Clone Technique, which ran into the distance with a voice transmission talisman to get into contact with Su Qianyun. Only Su Qianyun could save him in a situation like this!

Su Qianyun had extremely advanced language comprehension abilities and could converse freely with Chang’e, even when she had been struck by her hipster disease. This was a scene that remained clear in An Lin’s mind to this very day.

An Lin was moved by his own intelligence. Thankfully, he had a spare voice transmission talisman. Thankfully, he had mastered the Water Clone Technique. And thankfully, he had Su Qianyun as his reinforcement. Otherwise, there really was no way out of this sticky situation.

The voice transmission quickly connected through, and An Lin Number Two relayed Chang’e’s words to Su Qianyun.

Su Qianyun knew that time was the essence here, so she didn’t pose any questions and immediately offered an explanation.

For example, the meaning behind the first sentence was: “Why the f*ck are you here if it’s nothing urgent?”

Cold sweat dripped down from An Lin’s forehead upon hearing this.

The meaning behind the second sentence was: “Life is precious and short, so it’s important to focus on what’s happening in the present. There’s no need to pursue things that are not of any urgency, so you go and live your life.”

So she was basically telling him to leave…

An Lin hadn’t even had a chance to come to his senses yet before Chang’e spoke again after growing impatient from the prolonged silence that ensued.

The general meaning behind this sentence was: “Why aren’t you saying anything? If it’s nothing urgent, then I’m going to end the voice transmission.”

Su Qianyun had just finished translating when the voice transmission was disconnected on An Lin’s end.

Doo doo doo…

An Lin: “…”