I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

An Lin felt like the middle-aged man’s character had been completely turned on its head.

He had made the transformation from the almighty kirin to an adorably stupid middle-aged man.

It would be fine if his stupidity only affected himself, but An Lin was being taken along on the journey as well! He felt everything the middle-aged man was feeling, so his arm was burning with pain as well!

And those ten thousand slaps as well! What inhumane torture…

That woman’s slaps would probably remain in An Lin’s mind for the rest of his life.

Within the Miracle Healing Clinic.

This was the best clinic in Ling Gu City.

The doctor there, Dongfang Mengjie, was not only beautiful, but she was also exceptionally skilled in the art of healing, so she always had a steady stream of customers.

Thankfully, this was quite a small city. Otherwise, she would really struggle to cope with the workload.

She was preparing some medicine to take home with her for a certain someone.

However, she soon came to the realization that the person she was preparing the medicine for had already left…

Dongfang Mengjie silently placed the medicine in a separate cabinet as a strange feeling welled up in her heart.

At this moment, a middle-aged man stepped through the door while clutching onto his injured arm with a panicked expression. “Save me, Doctor, my arm has been injured!”

Dongfang Mengjie sprang to action, but her hands suddenly faltered just as she was about to organize her tools.

She turned to look at the man. This was quite a handsome man, but he was also quite an unfamiliar one.

But that wasn’t the point. She wrinkled her intricate nose as she turned toward the middle-aged man again.

A peculiar silence ensued.

The man averted his gaze, as if he was trying to hide something. “Doctor, what’s wrong?”

“Kirin?” Dongfang Mengjie suddenly asked.

The man’s eyes widened. “Hah? What did you say? Be reasonable, you haven’t seen me before!”

“Heh, be reasonable… What a pet phrase…” Dongfang Mengjie’s eyes rippled like water as a smile appeared on her face like a flower blossoming under the sunlight.

The man stared blankly at the woman.

Slap!

A searing, yet familiar slap landed.

The man’s body trembled. What a nostalgic feeling!

Dongfang Mengjie placed her hands on her hips as she scolded in a crisp voice, “You’ve only been gone for such a short time and you’re already picking fights and getting injured? And you’re trying to fool me? I’m just slapping you so that you learn to be more honest in the future!”

The kirin was dumbstruck, and he clasped a hand over his cheek in astonishment. “H-how did you know?”

“Hehe, I saved your life, so of course I know what your blood smells like!”

Dongfang Mengjie seemed to be quite pleased with herself. “I detected the familiar scent of your blood. Even if you change your appearance and conceal your aura, I can still see right through you!”

The man was shocked, and so was An Lin!

Identifying people through the scent of their blood? What a bad*ss ability!

“Then… What about my arm?” The man stood awkwardly on the spot.

“Sit down!” Dongfang Mengjie glowered at the man. “I’ll patch your arm up for you!”

The man sat down and extended his arm elatedly.

The woman’s gentle and nimble hands set about patching up his arm, and he stared at her focused expression, feeling like he was back at the little house near the spirit farm.

She was still just as diligent and gentle as ever, and her slaps were still so enticing.

“Who did you fight with this time?” Dongfang Mengjie asked with furrowed brows.

“Er… A phoenix!” the man replied.

“A phoenix? Was it beautiful?”

“I’m not interested in it! Besides, it was a male phoenix!”

“Huh? What are you saying? I’m asking you if phoenixes are beautiful. I’ve never seen a phoenix, so I’m quite curious. Why are you telling me all that instead?”

“Er… I must have misunderstood…”

Dongfang Mengjie looked at the man before her with a faint smile on her face. “I’ve already seen through your disguise, so why are you still maintaining your human form?”

“Because… I’m afraid that my true form would be scary to others, so I think it’s best if I blend in by adopting this form!” The man was quite pleased with himself for finding this excuse.

“I don’t think you look scary. Plus, your horns are beautiful. I like them a lot, and it would be a pity to see them hidden away like this.”

“You think they’re beautiful? Then I can make them come back!”

The man was quite excited upon hearing the woman’s admission that she liked his horns!

Thus, the odd middle-aged man with kirin horns was born.

Happy times always passed by quickly, and the middle-aged man’s arm was bandaged after a short time.

Dongfang Mengjie caressed the translucent red kirin horns on the man’s head as she said with a faint smile, “Alright, all done! Be more careful next time.”

The man nodded. He felt like there was no longer any reason for him to be here.

“Then… Goodbye!” The man bade farewell.

“Goodbye.” Dongfang Mengjie waved with a smile before tending to her other patients.

The middle-aged man left.

He laid a hand on the bandages on his arm with an expression of contentment.

There were many things he had to attend to in the Sinister Spirit Beast Cesspool, so he really did have to leave this time.

Thus, the middle-aged man resumed his life as an almighty mythological beast.

One month later.

The middle-aged man missed her.

He wanted to see her, but he couldn’t find any good excuse.

The middle-aged man pulled out the white bandages from his storage ring, and a thought suddenly occurred to him as he slashed a claw toward his own leg, creating a wound from which blood shot forth…

An Lin: “Motherf*cker!”

Thus, he was able to meet the woman of his dreams again.

The atmosphere between them was quite harmonious, and they began chatting again.

The middle-aged man left again after receiving treatment.

After that, the middle-aged man engaged in acts of self-mutilation every time he wanted to see Dongfang Mengjie…

The injuries couldn’t be the same every single time, otherwise, it would be too obvious.

Thus, An Lin was treated to all sorts of painful experiences like amputated limbs, being poisoned, having his sea of vital energy ruptured, having his meridians damaged…

If An Lin could control this body, he would definitely kill Dongfang Zhuangshi!

“Kirin, your injuries are really severe this time. Can’t you take better care of yourself?” Dongfang Mengjie asked with furrowed brows.

“Alright, I’ll be more careful next time.” The middle-aged man nodded. “And don’t call me kirin anymore, it’s a little strange. Why don’t you give me a human name?”

“A human name?” Dongfang Mengjie blinked in surprise. “Uh… What kind of name do you want?”

“Anything will do. I’ll just go with your surname,” the man replied.

“My surname…” A light blush appeared on Dongfang Mengjie’s face as her beautiful hands shuddered slightly. “Then… Let’s call you Dongfang Zhuangshi!”

“Dongfang Zhuangshi?” The middle-aged man drew a sharp intake of breath.

A sly smile appeared on Dongfang Mengjie’s face as she provided an explanation.

“You’re always having problems with your body and coming to me for help. As such, I’ve decided to give you a name that will hopefully keep you away from illness and injury!

“Think about it, Zhuangshi means sturdy and strong. The name contains the purest, most simple emotions. It’s also perfect for your dao of life and extremely easy to remember and understand…”

The woman finished speaking, but the vehement protest she expected did not eventuate.

Instead, a joyful smile appeared on his face. “So that’s what that means! This is a great name! I’ll be known as Dongfang Zhuangshi from now on!”

“Er…” Dongfang Mengjie’s mouth gaped open slightly, and she didn’t really know what to say.

An Lin was in shock. So this was where the middle-aged man’s comical name had come from?

“Er, kirin,” Dongfang Mengjie said in a low voice.

“Please call me Zhuangshi!” the middle-aged man corrected.

“Alright, Zhuangshi…” Dongfang Mengjie hesitated momentarily before saying, “I set up a tea garden in the east where I go to drink tea during my free time. If you’re interested in tea, you can go there every month to drink some tea with me.

“Just be more careful and don’t get injured anymore…”

Dongfang Zhuangshi faltered upon hearing this. A warm smile then appeared on his face as he replied, “Alright, I’ll be more careful and do my best not to get injured anymore!”

An Lin was almost moved to the point of tears upon hearing this.

My God! This idiot is finally going to stop his self-mutilation!