I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

An Lin felt like he had died.

At that moment, he recalled his days running under the sun and his life of cultivation…

Within a murky greyness.

A faint medicinal aroma wafted by.

He opened his eyes with great difficulty to find that he was lying on a bed, beside which a pot of medicine was sitting over a fire.

“I… I didn’t die…”

He was just about to move his body when a searing pain erupted.

“Ah…!”

An Lin let loose a pained cry as he let loose a torrent of abuse in his heart. Stupid c*nt kirin, don’t you know you’re injured? Why are you trying to move?

His movements were out of his control, but he could feel all of the resulting pain.

What a bizarre experience!

At this moment, a crisp, pleasant voice sounded.

“You’re awake?”

A woman in a cream-colored dress walked gracefully into the room and cocked her head to the side as she examined An Lin with curious eyes. “You’re a kirin?”

The Demonic Blood Kirin was in quite a small form, even smaller than the average human.

However, he raised his arrogant head. “That’s right, I am the legendary kirin. Did you save my life, woman? Then I’ll forgive you for slapping me.”

“Hehe.” The woman chuckled coldly before making her way over to the kirin and raising her hand again.

Slap!

An extremely loud and crisp slap landed again.

The kirin felt a searing pain shooting through his cheek; even the wound on his chest throbbed with pain.

The kirin’s eyes widened. “???”

“I’ll give you a chance to rearrange your words.” The woman smiled.

“Woman, you’re playing with fire!” The kirin was a high and mighty mythological beast who had killed countless beings in his lifetime! Who would dare to humiliate him like this?

Another powerful slap landed. This time, it even left a sonic boom in its wake.

Slap!

The kirin was struck by a powerful sense of dizziness, and not just his face, but his entire body throbbed with pain as well.

An Lin: “???”

The Kirin: “…”

“Hehe, you have one last chance.” The woman wore a gentle smile, but her hand had been raised high into the air.

“I’m sorry! I was wrong!” The kirin bowed his head.

An Lin: “…”

So humiliating!

The woman’s expression softened a little. “This is not something that can be resolved through an apology. Do you know how many valuable spirit medicines you destroyed?”

The Kirin shook his head. “I do not.”

“You ate thirty-one of my medicines! You have to pay for those!” the woman said.

The kirin’s expression shifted. “I ate those medicines through my own ability. What gives you the right to make me pay?”

Slap!

Another searing slap landed.

The Kirin: “…”

An Lin: “…”

“Why are you so unreasonable?” The Kirin’s eyes widened.

Slap!

Another heavy slap landed.

“You’re the unreasonable one! I have to slap the reason into you!” the woman replied in a cold voice.

An Lin was in despair. There was a woman addicted to giving slaps and a kirin who refused to learn his lesson. Had they considered his feelings? He was just a bystander, why did he deserve to get slapped?

The woman glared at the kirin. “Don’t think that you can do whatever you want just because you’re a kirin! If it weren’t for my kindness and benevolence, you would’ve been chopped up and sold! Who would use all those medicines to save someone as ungrateful as you?

“Which reminds me… In order to save your life, I used two seventh-grade immortal fruits and eighteen spirit herbs, which you’ll have to pay for as well…”

The woman continued to talk, but the Kirin remained silent to avoid another slap.

The next few days were quite mundane.

In order to recover from his injuries, the kirin repressed his vicious tendencies and drank the medicine the woman made for him while putting on a cheerful expression to get on her good side. He was clearly an extremely ferocious beast, but he had to act adorable to save his own life.

The woman was a Soul Creation Stage pill refinement master as well as a Soul Formation Stage cultivator, so she was obviously quite skilled in the art of healing and medicine, and she helped the kirin to quickly surmount his crisis.

Days passed one after the other.

“In the next few days, you’ll only need to drink one bowl of my medicine per day.”

“You’re underestimating me, woman! I don’t need to drink any more medicine!”

Slap!

The 10086th slap sounded.

“Be a good boy.” The woman’s eyes crinkled with a benevolent smile.

The kirin obediently opened his mouth.

An Lin was simply unable to understand why a woman, who looked so gentle, would be fond of handing out slaps!

After that, the kirin recovered much more quickly.

He finally began to replant the spirit farm in order to repay his debt.

He had made a promise, which he had to keep.

The slaps he had received taught him a valuable lesson.

The kirin worked very hard on the spirit farm. He plucked out weeds, regulated vital energy, carved out formations, and even used his own blood as fertilizer for the medicines being planted.

The woman had a clinic at Ling Gu City, and she worked during the day before returning at night to make medicine for the Kirin.

Mundane days continued to pass by, and the kirin’s injuries recovered quickly.

One night, after dinner.

“Huh? Where is my medicine?” The kirin scratched his head in confusion.

The woman looked at the kirin with a joyful smile. “Congratulations, I hereby announce, as your doctor, that you have made a full recovery! You don’t have to drink any more medicine!”

Upon hearing this, the kirin faltered before a smile appeared on his face. “I don’t have to drink medicine anymore?”

“You’ve also taken extremely good care of the spirit farm, and it’s now thriving better than ever before! As such, the debt you owe me has been cleared, and you’re free to go!” the woman continued with a smile.

“Oh, this is great!” The kirin smiled.

He had finally made it to the end.

But his heart felt hollow for some reason.

The kirin couldn’t help but ask, “I’ve always wanted to ask you this. You have a pretty good aptitude, so why are you satisfied living in a small city like this? You should go out into the big, wide world.”

The woman shook her head while smiling. “I’m very happy living here. I have all the freedom in the world, and I’m far away from battles. I like the lifestyle here.”

The kirin faltered slightly upon hearing this. He didn’t know what to say.

He looked at the woman under the candlelight and thought that she was so beautiful and refined.

She was like a benevolent big sister who had seen through this world and finally decided to settle and live a peaceful life here.

However, he knew that her slaps hurt like hell.

The kirin was also perplexed about one more thing, and he mustered up his courage before asking, “When you slapped me, weren’t you afraid that such a flawless and powerful mythological beast that I am would turn around and kill you?”

Slap!

Another crisp slap sounded.

The kirin’s face was searing with pain.

The woman smiled coldly. “Let’s see if you dare!”

“I’m sorry!” The kirin lowered his head.

An Lin: “…”

The woman cautioned, “When you go out into the world, don’t go around bullying people just because you’re a mythological beast. You have to learn to be a reasonable person, understood?”

The kirin nodded instinctively. “Alright, I’ll definitely be a reasonable person in the future!”

If any other member of the beast tribes saw how obedient the renowned, ferocious Demonic Blood Kirin was right now, their jaws would probably drop to the floor.

That night, they talked about many things.

Never would the mighty mythological beast kirin think that he would talk so much with a mere Soul Formation Stage cultivator. He felt like there was still a lot of things that he wanted to talk to her about and that he would never get sick of talking to her.

The next day, they still bade farewell to each other.

“Woman, if someone messes with you in the future, send me a voice transmission!” The kirin tossed a voice transmission talisman toward the woman.

“Alright. Don’t fight in the future. You were in such a sorry state when you got here, what if you actually die someday?” the woman cautioned with a dainty smile.

The kirin nodded before flying into the sky.

He flew further and further into the distance… until he could no longer see the woman and the spirit farm. He had finally left…

There was such a vast gulf between them that this might as well be the last farewell. Ten thousand years comprised the entire lifespan of a Soul Formation Stage cultivator, but to a mythological beast, it would pass by in the blink of an eye.

The kirin looked down at the vast land below and heaved a forlorn sigh.

After flying for a while longer, he couldn’t help but lay a hand on his cheek.

“Sigh, I won’t be able to receive slaps from her again…

“I’m really missing her slaps now…”

The kirin’s heart throbbed with pain as a disconsolate expression appeared on his face.

An Lin: “???”

Uncle Dongfang, have you just revealed some sort of strange fetish?

“She told me to become a reasonable person. I am now reasonable, so I should work hard on becoming a ‘person’ now!” The kirin nodded before transforming into a handsome middle-aged man.

An Lin was shocked upon seeing this. What kind of stupid logic was this? That was never the point of what she was trying to tell him!

“But is there really no chance for me to ever see her again?

“What if she gets bullied?

“What if she wants someone to talk to, but she can’t find anyone to listen to her?”

An Lin’s heart throbbed slightly upon hearing this.

The kirin was still muttering to himself.

Suddenly, his eyes lit up, and he raked a claw abruptly across his own arm!

Splat!

Blood gushed forth!

“Gasp… That hurt!”

A very real sense of pain erupted.

A massive, bleeding gash appeared on the middle-aged man’s arm.

An Lin: “???”

“Hmm, I’ve been injured. I better go to the Miracle Healing Clinic for her to patch this up for me!

“I have to make haste, otherwise, the wound will heal by itself!”

The middle-aged man immediately turned and flew toward Ling Gu City again.

An Lin: “…”