A Good-for-nothing Son-in-law Builds the Li Family

3: Chapter 3 The Zhuge FamilyLi Guidai scrambled home almost as if he were crawling, moving at a speed comparable to the village idiot being chased by a dozen wild dogs at the entrance.

”Bang!” He kicked the courtyard gate open with his butt, then hooked it shut with his foot in one fluid motion, a maneuver he had clearly practiced often in emergencies.

His father, Li Jiantou, was indeed not home, likely out mediating another international dispute about ”whose chicken pecked whose vegetables.”

Rushing to the well in the backyard, Li Guidai looked at his reflection—hair matted, face covered in ”golden armor,” clothes in tatters and dripping with soup—and nearly scared himself to death again.

”What a disaster!” he wailed, grabbing a bucket to draw water.

”Splosh!” A bucket of ice-cold well water poured over his head, making him grimace and jump three feet into the air. ”Sss-ha! Refreshing!”

Shivering, he scrubbed himself vigorously, as if trying to wash away twenty-five years of bad luck along with the ”added nutrition” he’d just received.

[Dear, a gentle reminder: the Ancient Kidney Physique comes with a built-in cleaning function, but those ’nutrients’ you fell into were a bit too concentrated, so manual assistance is required~] The system’s voice carried a hint of mockery.

”Shut up! That’s all because your activation conditions are so twisted!” Li Guidai retorted in his mind while scrubbing the ”aged mud” off his arms.

He changed into a clean set of gray clothes, and although it was still the standard villager attire, he somehow looked… more spirited?

Standing by the well, he felt the surging energy within his body, especially in his lower back, which felt warm, like he was carrying two small furnaces constantly providing energy.

”Heh, this Kidney Physique… it’s actually pretty good!” He patted his waist contentedly. ”From now on, call me… the Kidney Fighter of Jicai Village!”

Just as he was preparing to return to his room to study that ”Ancient Kidney Physique Technique” which sounded quite impressive, and to fantasize about a future where he could punch the nursing home on the southern mountain and kick the kindergarten on the northern sea—

”Woooooom—!!!”

A dull, deafening sound, like a giant with constipation exerting force, suddenly erupted from the horizon!

This sound wasn’t heard through the ears, but acted directly on the soul, making one’s scalp tingle and heart, liver, spleen, lungs, and kidneys tremble in unison.

Jicai Village instantly exploded into chaos!

”What’s happening? Is the sky falling?”

”Oh heavens! Is that thunder or did the God of Heaven just fart?”

Villagers scurried out of their houses crying and wailing, necks craned, faces full of bewilderment and terror.

Li Guidai also looked up abruptly, and then… his mouth opened into an ”O” shape.

He saw the azure sky looking like a piece of blue cloth ripped apart by a naughty child; the clouds were brutally torn open, and a flying ship, so huge it made one doubt life, was slowly (or rather, at an extremely pretentious speed) breaking through the clouds and pressing down toward Jicai Village!

It was too big! It was truly too big! Li Guidai felt that if this flying ship fell, it could smash the entire Ganlu Town into a basin!

The flying ship was dark throughout, its edges gleaming with a cold metallic light, and the shadow it cast was like a giant pot lid that slammed down, instantly covering Jicai Village and darkening the sky.

At the very front of the flying ship, instead of a pointed prow, there was a ferocious beast head sculpture with eyes as big as brass bells. Above the beast head were two large, golden, dancing characters—written as if the owners were terrified someone wouldn’t recognize them—

”Zhuge”!

Just by glancing at those two characters, Li Guidai felt his heart being stuffed into a rave party, thumping wildly! An indescribable pressure made his legs tremble slightly.

”Gold… Golden Core expert!” Li Guidai’s tongue tied. ”This entrance effect… the budget is burning!”

Half the villagers were already paralyzed with fear, and the other half were on the verge of collapsing, kowtowing like chickens pecking at rice, shouting ”Spare me, Immortal!” and ”The Immortal has manifested!”

The flying ship hovered above the village like a giant surveillance camera.

Then, a streak of light ”whooshed” down, transforming into an old man wearing green Daoist robes, his hair combed meticulously, with an expression like someone owed him eight hundred spirit stones and hadn’t paid him back.

He floated in the air, his robes not even fluttering, his aura of superiority fully maximized. Behind him followed two expressionless young disciples who looked like they had been copy-pasted.

The old man’s gaze swept over the shivering villagers below like a searchlight. His voice was not loud, but it sounded as if he were speaking directly into everyone’s ear:

”I am Seventh Elder Zhuge Tai of the Zhuge Family’s outer sect.”

Zhuge Family! The sound of the villagers gasping in unison almost caused local oxygen deprivation.

Seventh Elder Zhuge Tai continued in the tone of a weather reporter: ”The family has issued an order to select talent here. Anyone with a Ninth-Grade Spirit Root, regardless of whether it is low, medium, or high grade, under the age of thirty, and who has not committed murder or arson, may join our Zhuge Family to become… well, a son-in-law.”

As soon as the words ”son-in-law” came out, it was quiet for a second, and then…

”Aoooo—!!!”

The crowd instantly boiled over! Even more excited than hearing that Widow Wang at the village entrance was getting remarried!

A son-in-law? To be a son-in-law for the Zhuge Family? That was simply a pheasant flying onto a branch to become… to become a phoenix son-in-law!

”Their family members will receive one hundred low-grade spirit stones and three low-grade spirit-attraction pills,” Seventh Elder Zhuge Tai added slowly.

Boom—!

Now they were completely crazy!

”Immortal! Choose my son! He is sturdy! He can eat… no, wait, he can work!”

”Immortal, look at my daughter! Even if her spirit root might not be great, she is virtuous!”

”Me, me, me! I am twenty-nine years and eleven months old! That counts as under thirty!”

The scene became a chaotic mess, with villagers shoving and shouting, wishing they could pack up their children (or themselves) and stuff them into the flying ship on the spot.

Li Guidai stood at the courtyard gate, his little heart starting to thump uncontrollably again.

Son-in-law… why is it a son-in-law again? It sounds like a lot of trouble…

[Ding! Major life decision detected for the host! Issuing limited-time quest: ’The Ambition of a Son-in-Law’!]

[Quest requirements: Successfully obtain a wife (any race, gender… recommended to be female).]

[Quest reward: top-grade foundation establishment pill x1! Low-grade spirit-attraction pill x10!]

[Note: Young man, a son-in-law who doesn’t want to establish his foundation is not a good Kidney Fighter! One top-grade foundation establishment pill saves you a hundred years of hard cultivation. You deserve it!]

Li Guidai: ”???”

Qi Refining Stage: Absorbing heaven and earth spiritual energy, tempering the physical body, opening spiritual sense, lifespan approximately 100-120 years.

Foundation Establishment Stage: True essence liquefies, lifespan extended to 200-300 years, capable of fasting, flying on swords, and casting complex spells.

Golden Core Stage: True essence solidifies into a Golden Core, lifespan reaches 500-700 years, capable of refining life-bound magical treasures, becoming a powerful figure in a region.

Nascent Soul Stage: Nascent Soul takes form, physical body can be reborn, lifespan 1000-1300 years, capable of performing large-scale supernatural powers.

Spirit Severing Stage: Spiritual sense extends for a thousand miles, touching the laws of heaven and earth, lifespan 1500-2500 years, must ascend to the Spirit World to break through.

Void Refining Stage: Primordial spirit turns into void, can practice clones, lifespan tens of thousands of years, begins to control law fragments.

Integration Stage: Physical body and Nascent Soul merge, lifespan ten thousand years, preliminarily borrows the power of laws, becomes a Supreme Elder of top-tier forces.

Mahayana Stage: Physical body recast, lifespan can reach twenty thousand years, masters complete laws, becomes a top existence in the Spirit World.

Tribulation Transcendence Stage: Experiences the trial of heavenly tribulation, succeeds in ascending to the Immortal World, becoming an immortal.