1000x Random Returns: Investing in My Crippled Demon Wives!

Chapter 18: Chapter 18: Goblins Have Never Heard of Personal Space

The world twisted, then stilled.

Lucien opened his eyes.

A cave stretched out before him — vast, damp, ceiling lost somewhere in shadow.

Blue mana crystals jutted from the walls, casting everything in a dim, pulsing glow.

Water dripped somewhere in the dark, steady as a heartbeat.

The air smelled like wet stone and something coppery underneath.

’So this is a dungeon.’

’Smells worse than I expected. Somehow both damp and vaguely bloody. Real charming.’

Narrow tunnels branched off in three directions.

He picked one at random and moved forward, slow, quiet, sword loose in his grip.

’Observe first and rush later. Aurelia’s rule number one.’

He didn’t have to wait long.

---

A goblin rounded the corner ahead — ugly, green-skinned, hunched and clutching a rusted dagger that had clearly seen better decades.

It spotted him and its ugly face split into an uglier grin.

’Smaller than I expected,’ Lucien thought.

’Barely comes up to my waist.’

The goblin charged, dagger swinging wide and clumsy.

Lucien sidestepped it’s swing, blade flashing once.

The goblin dropped dead, its head separated.

Silence.

Lucien stared at the corpse for a second, something heavy settling in his chest.

’First kill. Should probably feel like more than this.’

”...That was easier than expected,” he said out loud, mostly to fill the silence.

Lucien glanced down at the dead goblin for another second.

No triumph.

No excitement.

Just... silence.

It wasn’t a person.

It was a monster.

He knew that.

Yet seeing something die because of his own hands still felt strangely heavy.

His fingers tightened around Aurelia’s sword.

”...Guess this is where adventurers stop being tourists.”

He exhaled slowly.

Then the goblin dissolved into motes of light.

The strange weight in his chest disappeared with it.

”...Huh.”

”Dungeons don’t even let you overthink it.”

The corpse dissolved into motes of light, leaving behind a goblin ear and a small, dull mana core.

Lucien scooped both into his storage pouch.

’Convenient, no mess and no smell. Whoever made these dungeons really thought this through.’

But something nagged at him as he stood there.

’My swing was sloppy, I could have done better.’

’I overcommitted on the sidestep and wasted movement. If that thing had been my own stage instead of two pr three stages below me, I’d have actually had to think.’

’Strength isn’t everything,’ he reminded himself.

’Guess I learnt that lesson quickly, now it’s time to fix that.’

---

He kept moving, and the tunnels kept providing.

The second goblin came at him with a crude spear, thrusting wide.

Lucien caught the shaft on his blade, twisted, and used the goblin’s own momentum to open its throat — cleaner this time, footwork tighter, the manual’s stances finally starting to feel less like theory and more like instinct.

’Better,’ he thought.

’Still not great but it’s better than before.’

A goblin brute burst from behind a broken support beam swinging a crude wooden club.

Lucien reacted half a heartbeat too slowly.

Thud!

The club clipped his left shoulder.

He staggered two steps before instinct took over.

Blood Manipulation.

A hardened spike erupted from the goblin’s own forearm.

The goblin screamed.

Lucien closed the distance.

One clean slash.

Silence.

He rolled his shoulder.

”...Ow.”

Nothing broken.

Just sore.

His eyes narrowed.

If this had happened three days ago...

That would’ve shattered my shoulder.

He looked at his arm.

Not even bruised.

The Crimson Origin Bloodline had already begun showing its worth.

”...Still.”

”I got hit.”

”Need to fix that.”

A goblin archer got one shot off before Lucien closed the distance, arrow whistling past his ear close enough to feel the wind.

He used Blood Manipulation this time — drawing a thin thread from the goblin’s own nicked palm and yanking its aim wide on the second shot before finishing it with the blade.

’Im basically cheating,’ he thought happily.

’Excellent, ten out of ten, would cheat again.*

A goblin scout tried to flee once it realized the fight wasn’t going its way.

Lucien didn’t chase — just flicked a hardened blood needle after it instead, dropping it three steps into its escape.

’Learning curve is steep.’

’Progress is visible and ego appropriately deflated by that first sloppy swing.’

By the time an hour had passed, his movements had smoothed considerably.

Less wasted motion, better weight transfer, actual awareness of his surroundings instead of tunnel vision on whatever was directly in front of him.

His storage pouch, meanwhile, had filled nicely, goblin ears by the dozen, a handful of rusty daggers not worth much but sellable, mana cores and crystals of varying dullness, a few chunks of iron ore pried from a collapsed mining tunnel, some healing mushrooms growing in a damp corner that smelled faintly medicinal.

At one point, a faint violet glow caught his eye near a crumbling wall — a small, glowing herb tucked into a crack in the stone, petals shimmering faintly with soul-attribute mana.

’Seraphina would love this,’ he thought immediately, crouching to harvest it with careful fingers.

’Everything I find, apparently, gets filtered through ’would this help one of my wives.’ Efficient system, very on-brand.’

’Still haven’t seen a single treasure chest, though,’ he noted, glancing around one more empty side-tunnel.

’Guess they really are as rare as everyone says.’

---

The boss chamber doors came into view an hour in — massive stone slabs carved with crude goblin imagery, mana pressure leaking faintly through the seams like something big was breathing on the other side.

’No point rushing in tired.’

Lucien found a dry alcove nearby and sat, pulling out water and a small ration bar, taking stock of the day’s haul while he ate.

’Not bad,’ he thought, tallying mentally.

’Already worth more than a week of groceries. It’s not life-changing money but solid for a first run.’

He’d just finished eating when voices drifted in from another tunnel entrance — casual, mid-conversation, clearly not expecting company.

Three figures rounded the corner.

Lucien’s hand tightened on his sword automatically, rising to a guarded stance.

The three froze, weapons half-raised in response — then relaxed almost as quickly, seeing he wasn’t advancing.

”Easy, easy,” said the tallest one, hands up, grinning.

”Fellow adventurer, not a goblin in a very good disguise.”

He held up a Guild ID for confirmation.

The other two did the same.

Lucien lowered his sword, though not entirely, and returned the gesture with his own card.

The tall one was Asura — towering, easily seven feet, four muscular arms, a greatsword strapped across his back that looked like it weighed more than most people.

”Kael Astrax,” he said cheerfully.

”Not related to the actual Astrax line, before you ask. It’s just a common surname, unfortunately.”

’Interesting timing to clarify that,’ Lucien thought, filing it away without comment.

The female Oni beside him stood nearly as tall, blue-skinned, single horn curling back from her forehead, a shield and axe strapped efficiently to her back.

”Rika,” she said simply.

”I lead this mess.”

The tiefling brought up the rear — deep violet skin, curling goat horns, a bow slung loose and ready, eyes constantly scanning even mid-introduction.

”Vex,” he said.

”Scout.”

”Luc,” Lucien said.

”Voss.”

”You heading in alone?” Kael asked, nodding toward the boss doors.

”That was the plan.”

All three stared at him for a beat.

Kael blinked.

”You were actually going to solo it?”

Lucien nodded.

”That was the plan.”

The giant Asura stared at him for a second.

Then burst into booming laughter.

”Hahaha!”

”I like you already.”

”Either you’ve got incredible guts...”

”...or absolutely terrible judgment.”

Rika folded her arms.

”Those are usually the same thing.”

Lucien considered that.

”...Fair.”

Then Kael burst out laughing, loud and genuinely delighted rather than mocking.

”Bold, real bold for a first-timer.”

”How’d you know it’s my first time?”

”New gear tags,” Rika said, deadpan.

”Also nobody with actual dungeon experience solos a boss on purpose unless they are over confident.”

’Fair,’ Lucien admitted internally.

”Dungeon bosses scale,” Rika continued, business settling into her voice.

”Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, Peak. Nobody knows which until the fight starts.’

’And when their second phase kicks in, its power increases by upto a full rank higher than the actual dungeon rank, temporarily.”

’That sounds extremely problematic,’ Lucien thought.

”So, what do you say, wanna join us, we’ll split the loot evenly,” Rika offered.

”You’re welcome to join, an extra arm doesn’t hurt, and shared risk beats solo risk against something unpredictable.”

Lucien considered it for exactly two seconds.

’Free combat experience from actual veterans, watching how they move, how they coordinate, how they handle an unknown threat.’

’It’s worth way more than the loot split.’

”Deal,” he said.

Rika nodded, satisfied, and gestured them toward a flat stretch of stone.

”We rest a few minutes first, eat something then move.”

They settled down, and Kael immediately offered him a strip of dried meat from his own pack.

”Already ate,” Lucien said, waving it off politely.

’Not risking mystery jerky from strangers on my first dungeon run, no matter how friendly they seem.’

’Earth instincts don’t just disappear because I got a cool bloodline. Like I’ve seen that happen way to many times in shows on Earth’

Vex gave him an odd look but didn’t push it.

Introductions rounded out quickly after that — race, weapon, rough guild experience, nothing elaborate.

Kael had three years in, mostly greatsword work.

Rika led small parties for two years, practical to a fault.

Vex specialized in scouting and ranged support, quiet but sharp-eyed.

’Solid team,’ Lucien thought.

’Good instincts with plenty experience, it should be a smooth fight.’

---

Once everyone had rested, they rose together and approached the boss chamber doors.

Rika pushed them open.

The moment they stepped through, dense, heavy pressure slammed down over the entire chamber, thick enough that Lucien felt it settle against his skin like a physical weight.

The doors groaned shut behind them, sealing with a final, ominous thud.

THUD.

’No exit until this thing’s dead, then. Cozy.’

Vex went rigid beside him, a scouting technique flickering active across his eyes, expression draining of color in real time.

”...No,” Vex whispered.

Everyone turned toward him.

His voice came out shaking. ”...Beginner D-Rank.”

Silence.

”...And,” Vex continued, swallowing hard.

”It’s mutating which could take it to High or Peak D-Rank.”

Somewhere in the chamber’s depths, something enormous stirred, a guttural roar building and rolling outward like thunder trapped underground.

The pressure in the room doubled instantly, crushing down against all four of them at once.

Lucien’s grip tightened around Aurelia’s sword, knuckles pale.

’Beginner D-Rank and mutating.’

’And apparently about to hit Peak D-Rank power the second it feels like it.’

’Great. Fantastic. Perfect first dungeon experience.’

A deep rumble shook the cavern.

The ground trembled beneath their feet, mana surged through the room.

The pressure doubled.

Then two enormous crimson eyes slowly opened within the darkness ahead.

A massive silhouette rose from what Lucien had first mistaken for a pile of broken stone.

Metal scraped against rock.

A gigantic cleaver slowly lifted from the ground.

The Goblin King’s roar exploded through the chamber.

Lucien instinctively tightened his grip on Aurelia’s sword.

As it settled at Peak D-Rank.

’Well, that escalated quickly.’

***************

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