1000x Random Returns: Investing in My Crippled Demon Wives!

Chapter 9: Chapter 9: A Streaker in the House?!

Lucien stood over the dowry ingredients, mentally sorting through options.

For lunch, he settled on:

Ironhorn Boar Meat (Uncommon) — which slightly strengthens the body when consumed and also has a great texture when slow cooked.

Moonleaf Mushrooms (Common) — restores mana by a bit and gives a good umami flavour to the dish while adding a diffrent texture.

Sunfire Pepper (Common) — improves blood circulation and adds a nice spice to the meal.

While adding various other spices in the dish to give it a pop of more flavour.

For Evelisse’s promised dessert, he picked:

Dream Honey (Uncommon) — calms the soul and body while giving the desert a nutty and sweet flavour.

Star Milk (Common) — slightly nourishes mana while also making the desert creamy.

Silver Sugar Fruit (Common) — increases recovery rate and provides most of the deserts sweetness.

”It makes a good combo, it should hit hard on flavor and nourishment at the same time.”

The culinary manual’s knowledge flickered through his mind, unprompted.

Knife angles, sear timing, chopping techniques, ingredients combinations, flavour pairings, etc.

A dessert technique that folded the honey through the fruit instead of just drizzling it on top.

”Nice, didn’t know I could do that. Thanks, culinary manual.”

He started prepping.

’Wait a damn minute.’

’Hold on.’

’I gave Aurelia and Seraphina those herbs and petals earlier. That should’ve counted as an investment. Why didn’t I get a spin for it?’

He frowned, dicing the boar meat on autopilot.

’...Unless the system doesn’t count its own rewards as investments. Makes sense, actually. Can’t get free money by giving someone their own free money. That’d break the whole point.’

’Fine. Point taken. System rewards are for giving, not reinvesting.’

Seraphina wandered in a few minutes later, cradling the three petals in a small cloth pouch.

”I tried eating one,” she admitted, cheeks pink. ”In my room. It’s... very strong. Almost bitter.”

”So tea, then?” Lucien suggested.

”I was thinking that.” She set a small pot on the stove, dropping a petal in with hot water.

The liquid turned a soft, glowing violet almost instantly.

”Smells nice,” Lucien said.

”It does,” she agreed, watching it steep. ”I feel a little silly. Making tea out of something so rare.”

”You’re allowed nice things, and it’s not like other Nobles don’t do it.” Lucien said.

”Revolutionary concept, I know.”

She smiled into the steam.

---

Footsteps thundered down the stairs.

”LUCIEN—”

Aurelia burst into the kitchen wrapped in nothing but a towel, hair damp, eyes wild with something that looked suspiciously like joy.

”It worked,” she said. ”The herb—it actually—”

She was moving too fast to notice the towel’s knot giving way.

It hit the floor.

Lucien, unluckily or maybe luckily depending on how you viewed it, had already bent down to grab spices from the low cupboard—

and Aurelia’s momentum carried her straight into him.

His face met a very soft, very unexpected obstacle.

Seraphina made a strangled noise into her tea.

Lucien, having apparently lost all sense of self-preservation, decided the moment called for one thing.

He teased her — lips and tongue brushing where his face had landed — just enough to make Aurelia go rigid, a full-body shiver running through her before she stumbled back, clutching the fallen towel to her chest.

”Hm, salty with a little sweetness to it” murmured just loud enough for them to hear.

”LUCIEN!!!” Aurelia yelled while turning red.

”You should save that enthusiasm for the night battles,” Lucien said, straightening with the calm of a man who had just committed to a bit.

”That was an accident,” Aurelia said, face flooding more red in a way that clashed spectacularly with her hair.

”Sure it was.”

”IT WAS.”

”Whatever helps you sleep at night, wife.”

A new voice cut in from the doorway.

”Wow.” Evelisse leaned against the frame, grinning wide.

”Didn’t know the great Aurelia Astrax moonlighted as a streaker.”

Seraphina lost the battle with her giggles entirely.

Aurelia’s face went from red to a shade Lucien hadn’t previously believed vampiric blood could produce, and she fled upstairs at a speed that suggested her leg strength, at least, had never been the problem.

She returned two minutes later, fully dressed, dignity somewhat reassembled.

”The herb worked,” she said, like the previous ninety seconds simply hadn’t happened.

”Only slightly. But I felt a little mana. If I use one every day, I estimate full recovery within a year maybe.”

Lucien’s chest warmed at that. ’A year. Actual timeline with actual hope.’

”Can you get more?” Aurelia asked.

”I’ll repay you however you need.”

”You’re my wife,” Lucien said.

”I’ll help you regardless of payment.”

He paused.

”Though I wouldn’t say no to a particular kind of payment only my dear wifey can give me tonight, in bed.”

Aurelia’s ears went red. ”...I’ll see,” she muttered, which was apparently her word for yes, obviously, why are you even asking.

Somewhere behind him, Lucien felt the quiet click of bond percentages shifting upward —

Aurelia’s climbing higher, Seraphina’s rising too, just from standing witness to the whole ridiculous scene.

---

Lunch went smoothly, all things considered — clothed, this time, and mercifully towel-free.

The moment forks touched food, the familiar chime rang in Lucien’s skull.

[Ding!]

Three spinning wheels bloomed into view.

[Aurelia Astrax — Bond 10% — Max ×10]

The wheel spun down.

[×8]

[Reward: 2× Bloodroot Mender (Uncommon)]

Lucien’s brows shot up. ’Uncommon rank and two of them, it’s definitely an upgrade from the common ones.’

[Seraphina Lilith — Bond 9% — Max ×9]

[×6]

[Reward: Soulweave Lotus (Uncommon)]

[Evelisse Noctis — Bond 8% — Max ×8]

The wheel landed dead on the ceiling.

[×8]

’Damn, looks like Evelisse is my lucky star.’

[Reward: Beginner’s Culinary Manual — (Uncommon)]

’Full roll,’ Lucien noted, pleased.

’Looks like the better the food, the better the returns. This system rewards increase with quality, I like this system.’

Evelisse, blissfully unaware of any of this, was already devouring her dessert, eyes half-closed, humming happily around each bite.

Lucien watched her, faintly amused. ’Cute. Ridiculous, but cute.’

She glanced up — caught him staring — and misread it instantly.

Her eyes narrowed.

She grabbed the entire remaining slice and shoved the whole thing into her mouth at once, cheeks bulging like she was defending sacred territory.

Lucien burst out laughing.

Aurelia and Seraphina turned, saw Evelisse mid-chipmunk, and lost it too.

”Wha,” Evelisse said thickly, through a full mouth, ”ith tho funneh.”

”You look like a squirrel,” Seraphina managed between giggles.

Evelisse swallowed with great dignity and glared at all of them. ”No, I dont.”

Somewhere, quietly, her bond percentage ticked up by one.

---

After lunch, Lucien retreated to a quiet corner with the dowry’s rare cultivation technique.

Mana Breathing Art (Rare)

Absorbs mana faster than ordinary rare cultivation techniques. Refines mana into higher quality. Strengthens the body while cultivating. Increases recovery speed.

’Its solid,’ he thought.

’Not broken like some other high grade rare techniques, but definitely solid considering one doesn’t need an affinity or some bloodline to use it. Anyone could use this and come out slightly ahead of just using a random technique.’

’...Including Evelisse.’

’She has no bloodline or talent locking her out of ordinary techniques like these.’

’No reason she couldn’t cultivate, but if her dowry has this, why didn’tthey let her cultivate before?’

’She’ll need something for now. Might as well be this. And if I invest it into her—’

He found her sprawled on the couch, mid-show.

”Hey,” he said.

”Got something for you.”

She eyed him warily.

”What.”

”Cultivation technique,” he said, holding out the scroll.

”You can use it, no affinity or bloodline requirement.”

She sat up slowly, taking it like it might bite her.

”...Why.”

”Because you’re my wife,” Lucien said.

”And I have zero interest in you staying weak while everyone else gets stronger.”

Something flickered across her face — surprise, mostly, and something softer underneath it.

The moment her fingers closed around the scroll, the system chimed.

[Ding!]

[Investment Detected: Rare Cultivation Technique (Mana Breathing Art) → Evelisse Noctis]

[Evelisse Noctis — Bond 9% — Max ×9]

The wheel spun. And spun. And landed.

[×9]

Lucien’s vision flooded with text.

[Rare Rank Technique Invested → Epic Rank Return]

[Reward: Mana Breathing Art (Epic)]

’Epic.’

’Epic.’

Lucien sat very still for a second, staring at the description scrolling past.

[Mana Breathing Art (Epic)]

[Absorbs surrounding mana at extraordinary speed (2x) compared to other Epic techniques. Refines mana with better efficiency.

Tempers both the body and the soul while cultivating making future breakthroughs slightly easier.

Lays a solid foundation for future high-level cultivation, so chances of encountering a bottleneck is slightly decreased. Technique can be swapped anytime for a better one as the gathered mana has no affinity.]

’Well, okay. That escalated quickly.’

’I’m sure this technique stands among the top tier Epic Rank techniques with these kind of effects, just the decreased chance of a bottleneck and easier breakthroughwould easily make it top tier.’

The knowledge of the technique settled into his mind instantly, whole and complete, the same way the cooking manual had.

’I can’t exactly hand her something two ranks above what I gave her and say I found it lying around or something.’

He found a pen and paper, hurried through a rough transcription in his own handwriting, and returned to the living room, where Aurelia and Seraphina had drifted in, drawn by the sound of Evelisse’s growing curiosity.

”I improved it,” Lucien said, holding out the paper. ”While reading through the rare one I thought it needed a few adjustments a day made it better.”

All three of them stared at him.

Evelisse’s eyebrows climbed toward her hairline. ”You... ’improved’ a cultivation technique after reading it once.”

”Yes.”

”You, the guy who got kicked out of his family for not being talented?”

”That’s a completely unrelated skill set.”

”I don’t believe you.” Evelisse crossed her arms, smug.

”Prove it, cultivate with it. If you made it, you should already know how to use it, so let me see it in use. Let’s make a bet, winner gets anything they want from the loser.”

”You sure Evelisse? Because I know what I want when I win.” He said while giving a cheeky smile and hiding her waist.

”Yes, yes, I’m sure.” She replied while blushing a little already picturing what he wanted.

Lucien shrugged, settling cross-legged onto the floor.

’Lucky for me, system knowledge doesn’t come with a complete learning curve.’

He closed his eyes, letting the technique settle into motion exactly the way it had arrived in his mind — mana gathering, drawn inward, refining as it moved.

The air in the room shifted.

A faint pull rippled outward from him, subtle but unmistakable, like the room itself had inhaled.

Aurelia’s eyes widened first at the display.

Seraphina pressed a hand to her mouth shocked he actually improved it.

Evelisse’s jaw dropped open, dessert-eating dignity from earlier fully forgotten.

Mana rushed toward Lucien in visible threads, gathering, sinking into him, circulating in a smooth, practiced loop that looked nothing like a beginner’s first attempt.

The room trembled, just slightly, glassware humming faintly on the shelves.

Evelisse blinked, stunned into silence for a full three seconds — a record, probably.

”...You really improved it?”

Lucien opened his eyes, mana still humming quietly beneath his skin, and smiled.

”Told you I improved it.”

***************

[A/N: Hey readers!

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