Limitless Evolution As a Snake

I had fifteen seconds of physical invulnerability and a strong preference for spending them somewhere a lorry couldn’t use me as a speed bump. The emergency wheel stop was already lowering, so I caught its exposed lifting arm with a solid tendril and pulled before it vanished into the housing.

The machinery slowed without stopping, proving nobody had informed it that the handsome main attraction was currently underneath it. I activated Nuh-Uh and dropped my dense body across the arm, wedging the raised plate beneath my coils while the edge of the inspection channel cracked around me.

[System: Hold the arm, ya goose, and let the engineers handle the truck; you’re a koala’s worst insurance claim, not a replacement for civil fucking infrastructure.]

If I survive this, I’m applying for a job with council, because lying across broken machinery apparently counts as a full department. Fourteen seconds remained as the lorry rolled towards the half-raised plate. I shouted for the driver to brake before his front wheel reached it.

He saw the obstruction and stamped down hard enough to throw the cab forward. The tyres struck steel with a heavy bang, followed by the sound of cargo sliding inside the refrigerated box while a part of the lifting arm snapped against my side.

The hit made the familiar pan-against-steel noise, which I found much more comforting than anything the lorry was doing. Nine seconds remained while the driver tried reversing, only to settle a rear wheel against the raised edge of the scale platform at a bad angle.

It wouldn’t hold forever, but the damaged front tyre and screaming alarm convinced him to abandon the attempt. Unfortunately, Renn had found a knife somewhere inside the cab, and he dragged the station attendant halfway out of the passenger door with the blade beside the man’s throat.

”Keep your distance from the passenger side, because he’s decided to make this worse in the least original way possible,” I called to the approaching officers. I tried moving towards him and remembered that I currently weighed enough to become part of the station’s building costs.

[System: Five seconds left, champ, so don’t try flying while you’re a fucking anchor. Let the fairy keep him looking up while you work out where his feet are.]

If she can hold his attention until the weight clears, I can reach the passenger wheel without crossing the whole yard. Bridget had left her car beyond the gate, staying far enough from the knife that Renn couldn’t reach her with a sudden step.

She told him to look at his driver, who had climbed down on the opposite side and was now lying flat with both hands on his head. Renn glanced across, discovering that loyalty had left the vehicle before the rest of his plan could follow it.

The attendant kept both hands visible instead of fighting the knife, following the officer’s slow instructions while Renn argued over him. Bridget asked him to keep looking towards the gate, giving him somewhere to focus besides the blade.

I wanted to rush him, but the strongest part of me was busy impersonating something the council bought from a discount catalogue. I stayed still and let Bridget talk, discovering that trusting somebody else to be clever was much harder when the hostage kept swallowing against a knife.

The stance expired while he shouted for the driver to get back inside. Pain returned to my bruised side as I pulled free of the broken arm and moved beneath the lorry, keeping solid until I reached a narrow gap away from its hot exhaust.

I couldn’t use Nuh-Uh again for eight minutes, which meant the next part needed to work without pretending I could shrug off another blow. I passed the gap as mist and formed beside the passenger wheel, where Renn’s shoes shifted backwards as he dragged the attendant down from the step.

The man’s legs shook while an officer spoke to Renn from beyond the cab, keeping her voice even enough to make him listen. Bridget stayed beside the gate with her phone in one hand, watching the black case he’d dropped while pulling his hostage from the door.

Its corner had split against the concrete, spilling dispatch sheets around the edge of the cab. The register remained inside, but a breeze lifted one loose page and carried it towards the open lane, drawing Renn’s attention for half a second before he tightened his grip again.

[System: He wants the paper more than he wants the bloke, mate; give him a reason to reach for it, then remove his ability to stand there being a cunt.]

Bridget’s watching the same case, so keep the commentary useful while I let the terrifyingly clever woman improve our odds. She raised her phone and told Renn that his employer was on speaker, adding that the case had opened and somebody needed to explain the loose records.

A recorded voice from the phone announced that the call was important and would be answered shortly. The familiar hold message made Renn glance at his escaping paperwork, proving the bastard feared management more than armed police. I finally understood office culture.

He moved the knife hand away from the attendant’s throat as his free hand reached towards the nearest sheet. I wrapped a coil behind his heel and pulled sharply, dropping him against the cab while the attendant stumbled towards the officer waiting to catch him.

”Your call is important to us, so please enjoy this complimentary arse kicking while we locate somebody who cares,” I told him as the knife fell beneath the lorry. He stared at me with none of the patient smile he’d used behind his desk, then glanced past my head towards the cab window.

I followed the movement too late to notice what he’d seen in the glass. Renn shoved the passenger door into my side as an officer approached, knocking me away long enough to grab the case and run towards the station’s service office.

The door slammed behind him before I could catch up, and a bolt slid across while he dragged the case towards an open hatch in the floor. Through the window, I saw water moving beneath a metal grate, followed by the first bundle of receipts tipping from his hand towards the channel below.