Limitless Evolution As a Snake

Renn described me as a dangerous beast before I’d even broken his door, which felt like poor manners towards the evening’s surprise entertainment. Bridget had asked to leave twice, and his guard had answered by keeping one hand on the bolt while the other reached towards her phone.

I sent Rook the address and a short message saying the doors were locked against a guest trying to leave. Then I ate through the top of the cake shell, because I wasn’t wasting a paid entrance when everybody important was already looking in the right direction.

”Bridget, use the side exit while I explain why dessert has developed an opinion about customer service,” I called. The nearest guests backed away as my head rose from the icing, leaving the waiter with his knife looking far less keen on serving the first slice.

[System: Save the speech, ya party favour, because the guard’s reaching for her arm, and he doesn’t look like he’s asking her to dance.]

She’s already watching his hand, so give the bastard a moment to discover why touching costs extra. Bridget tipped her champagne into his eyes, brought her heel down on his instep and slipped past while he swore into both hands.

She reached the side door and pushed its bar, but it opened only an inch before something outside pulled tight. A chain had been fastened through the handle after the trolley came in, turning the emergency exit into another promise the host had no intention of keeping.

I formed a narrow tendril through the gap and caught the padlock, but it held against the frame. Bridget kept the guests away while the guard recovered behind her, giving me a choice between finding a key and making the fixing regret its position in the wall.

[System: Pull the eye bolt, ya galah; the fairy needs one good screw removed, and for once that’s actual building advice rather than your filthy wish list.]

I’m billing him for structural feedback, and if you make that joke aloud in my head again, you’re paying for dessert. I slipped through the gap as mist, formed outside and looped my body through the chain, pulling with my fins at an angle that put the pressure on the fixing.

The first pull hurt my bruised side, and the second cracked a small piece of concrete around the bolt. On the third, it tore loose and the door opened far enough for Bridget to catch it before it struck my head.

”I would have used the front entrance, but the management seems confused about which parts of the building are allowed to open,” I said. She checked my sore side before sending the guests out, then promised I could show off when nobody needed the doorway. I returned inside, leaving the chain as evidence for Rook.

Bridget’s serial photograph had already reached her solicitor, and the open cabinet drew a buyer towards a smaller one beside it. He recognised equipment his transport company had called damaged beyond repair, then asked why it appeared ready to sell with somebody else’s lot number attached.

A guard tried telling the buyers that filming broke the auction rules, but the man beside the smaller cabinet asked whether selling his property broke any rules worth discussing. Several phones came out at once, forcing the guard to choose between arguing with one guest and losing the rest of the room.

”Let them get the numbers before you move anything, because your employer seems to forget them whenever someone asks for a refund,” I told him. He kept his hands away from the nearest camera.

Other guests began checking the catalogue against the items around them. Bridget asked the patched-jacket worker to explain which sales slip belonged to each cabinet, and he answered clearly despite the way he kept checking whether Renn was watching.

I floated above the nearest cabinet and welcomed everyone to the stolen-property viewing, because the host seemed too busy sweating to provide service. Buyers checked plates while the waiter filmed, and I suggested they leave a review before Renn stole the website as well.

[System: There you go, mate; show rich bastards their own missing toys and suddenly they discover the community spirit they’ve been dodging tax to avoid.]

I’ve made the wealthy care about theft without stealing their trousers, which ought to earn me a grant and one of those tiny sandwiches. Renn heard the worker answer another question and shouted towards the loading bay, ordering the inventory cleared before anybody else could inspect it.

A forklift reversed between the pallets with a cabinet raised too high across its forks. The driver looked towards Renn instead of the aisle, then braked when a buyer stepped behind him, sending the load against its frame and into a temporary lighting stand.

The stand hit the floor, pulling a cable loose before sparks caught discarded packing sheets near the wall. Flames climbed the cheap backdrop beneath a printed promise of trusted service, giving the room a much more honest view of the business.

Bridget took an extinguisher from its bracket and sprayed the burning plastic while telling the buyers to use the opened exit. One refused to leave without his gift bag until she warned him that the next free sample would go directly into his face.

I dragged loose packing material away from the fire, keeping solid and clear of the hot air. At the far end, Renn shoved through a staff door carrying the flat black case I’d seen beneath the depot desk with the collection register inside it.

[System: He’s got the book, mate, but look left before you follow him; your spider’s just ignored every bloody word the doctor used.]

Lukas had come through the exit and climbed the shelving to reach the worker trapped between a pallet and the fallen lighting frame. His first pull freed the man’s coat, but the twist dragged at his injured ribs and changed his expression before he could bring them both clear.

”Get down from there before your body finishes the argument it’s already having with you,” I shouted. He tried to move, but his boot caught in a hanging cable as the shelving gave a long metal groan, leaving Renn escaping behind me while the rack started falling towards my friend.