The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]

Obviously, no one. No one in their right mind would risk losing such an invitation.

But what kind of booth could ever provoke that sort of reaction?

Apparently, one born from the mind of one Luca Kyros, who, after hearing Princess Kira’s tale of the love of the century, suddenly found himself inspired.

Not that the little guild master invented something revolutionary just from hearing a romantic story, but Luca truly admired Prince Silarion’s legacy. A love so great it left behind a tradition that endured for generations.

As someone who had benefited from such romance, who had already been promised dates and a wedding, the reddened little wife could not let the topic go.

And even after they had turned in for the night, nestled together in the quiet dimness of their shared quarters, Luca still could not sleep.

He lay atop Xavier’s chest, small fingers tracing lazy, absentminded circles over cool skin. His brows were faintly furrowed. His eyes unfocused. His mind was spinning in restless loops. Meanwhile, Xavier held him snugly, his long arms wrapped around Luca with that familiar, reassuring grip.

They were supposed to be sleeping.

And yet Luca was very much awake.

The prince, who apparently had not fallen asleep as well, shifted slightly. His fingers gently closed over Luca’s wandering hand, gingerly curling around it before slowly intertwining their fingers together. A soft, sly gesture that said he had been awake the whole time.

”Is something bothering you?” Xavier asked quietly.

Luca tensed for a moment, then peeked up in embarrassment. ”I... got to thinking.”

Xavier waited patiently.

”There was a booth that I wanted to try,” Luca whispered. ”I felt inspired by something.”

Xavier hummed, amused and indulgent. ”Then we can go and try that.”

”But what about the original concept?” Luca asked suddenly, his voice tight with worry. ”Won’t that be a waste if we scrap it for a whimsical idea?”

Surprisingly, or maybe not at all, Xavier simply answered, ”There’s really no need to scrap anything completely. If you want, we can combine several ideas. Either way, whatever we end up going with would be something we can be proud of.”

He tilted his head to look down at Luca. ”So maybe you could tell me what it is, so we can see if it’s viable.”

At that, Luca made a strangled little noise.

Xavier froze. ”Is something wrong?”

The concerned and partially amused husband blinked down at the little wife whose face had suddenly turned far too red.

”W-wait!” Luca squeaked. ”I will tell you about it! But can I consult first before I do that?”

”Consult?” Xavier repeated slowly. ”Sure. And you can just tell me whenever you’re ready.”

He leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to Luca’s forehead, still wondering what exactly was brewing inside that tiny, overheating mind.

And perhaps it was a good thing that he wondered.

Because the very next day, bright and early, the little chipmunk came sprinting toward his friends with his proposal.

Technically, he came barreling in with several questions. Questions D-29 had already tried to answer. Unfortunately, D-29’s answers were... somewhat questionable.

So Luca made the wise decision to consult his knowledgeable friends instead.

And that was how, in the middle of the final day of clean-up in Zone Four, several very suspicious people ended up huddling conspicuously by the edge of the shelter’s barrier.

Anyone walking by would have readily assumed they were talking about something ground-breaking, as always.

After all, others in similar positions were thoroughly preparing for the upcoming expo and were discussing exactly how they planned to outshine everyone.

And really, Luca had something similar in mind; it was just that before he could decide if his idea would work, it would be best to tackle the critical issue.

”Brother, are you alright?” Ollie asked first, worried because the usually easygoing Luca looked a little too serious.

”Yes, brother,” Luca said, clutching a small notepad that he still liked to bring around. ”I just have a question.”

Everyone immediately straightened. Princess Kira tilted her head. Ada leaned forward. Ollie tensed as if preparing for a life-or-death mission.

Luca then looked at them with wide, innocent eyes that could purify even the most corrupted soul.

”Where do people go on dates?” he asked quietly. ”And what do they actually do?”

Silence.

Absolute silence.

It felt as though an echo kept ringing in their ears.

Princess Kira blinked.

Ada blinked slower.

And Ollie... Ollie sniffled.

His lower lip trembled.

Because the blonde remembered how Luca had wondered about love and relationships before, but now look at his good brother! Asking about dates and all! He’s definitely all grown up!

The golden-eyed cadet was surprised by the sniffling and became concerned that he’d asked the wrong thing.

Then again, when Luca and D-29 looked on Star Net, they also received dubious answers.

Luca panicked. ”Oh no! Brother, please don’t cry. I only asked a question.”

”No, no, this is good,” Ollie insisted, wiping his face dramatically. ”Let this brother teach you.”

He stood straighter, glowing with pride. He was still much shorter than Princess Kira, but it was the principle that mattered. As someone who had absorbed a decade of information from his parents and siblings, Ollie confidently believed he was an expert.

”So,” Ollie began grandly, ”dates can be many things. For example, sightseeing on the top of a roof.”

Luca tilted his head. Ada looked concerned. Princess Kira quietly mouthed, ”Roof?”

Ollie continued proudly. ”Yes. It’s romantic. Very romantic. My mother went there often. She said it had the best views and would allow for dates while doing meaningful work. According to her, it’s very atmospheric.”

Ada choked. ”Atmospheric?”

Ollie barreled on after giving a decisive nod. ”Then there is counting merchandise together, like in the storage rooms. You bond while checking inventory. Father says it’s crucial for relationship building. After all, there’s nothing better than reassuring your partner that you could feed them.”

The aide now stared into the void. ”Inventory?”

”Uh huh.”

”Oh, and then,” Ollie said, eyes sparkling, ”there is going out to buy items on uncharted planets. They say it’s such a good compatibility test. When someone shoots, and your partner remembers to protect you, then it’s a good sign for a long-term relationship. Also, when they bargain, and you definitely don’t think about selling out your partner, then you know there are feelings there.”

The more he spoke, the more Luca’s brows furrowed.

Princess Kira, however, mouthed silently, ”Wow. That actually sounds good. No wonder your parents are happily married!”

Ollie grinned at this, practically sparkling before he moved on to his last example with full excitement. ”And of course, staying at home.”

Luca’s eyes lit up. ”At home? That one I understand. People from Tesseris often—”

”Yes!” Ollie interrupted proudly. ”Staying at home so the couple can use their virtual pods to date. Then they can go anywhere safely and watch mecha building or mecha battles together.”

Silence.

Complete silence.

In truth, D-29 was already whirring at the answers, because where were the hover car rides? The hearts made out of mountains and gems? What about identifying all the constellations and buying one?! Moreover, where was the part where they could say something to the likes of, ”I will buy you, your friends, and this club?!”?

How come it sounds so different?!

Luca stared, stunned. ”Virtual... pods?”

”Yes,” Ollie nodded, fully confident. ”Couples bond over which mecha is superior. Or which reactor looks cooler. Or which explosion is scientifically accurate. It is very romantic.”

Luca’s face went blank as he tried desperately to understand.

But then the research they had done also said something roughly similar.

There were obviously suggestions about taking long walks or having virtual dates where couples played games together. Luca listened politely, but he still wondered whether that was really all there was to it, since most of those were even done via the virtual pod.

Princess Kira, however, proved him wrong.

Apparently, there was more. Orc-style more.

”While it is not as common now,” she began thoughtfully, ”since most orcs skip courting entirely and just bond when told, the bonded ones actually do go on dates. Proper ones.”

Luca leaned forward in anticipation.

”They spar together,” Kira continued, ”usually barehanded. Sometimes with weapons. Sometimes with oversized weapons. Sometimes with weapons so large the ground cracks.”

Ada nodded seriously. ”They also watch duels together. Very romantic. Especially if someone gets thrown across the arena and both couples race to punch the flying orc back into the ring.”

Kira added, ”And then they go hunting together. Big beasts, small beasts, sometimes mutated beasts. Whoever takes down the biggest prey gets bragging rights for the month.”

Luca sat there in absolute awe. ”That is... dating?”

Princess Kira nodded. Obviously, there were also dates where they’d listen to music together, but that’s something she could do with her Bunbun.

Luca blinked slowly, trying to process how many hospital visits those activities would involve if humans attempted them.

Then he finally spoke again.

”Do people not go out to eat? Maybe have lunch or dinner together? Or go to cafes? Or watch movies? Or go to amusement parks?” Luca asked, listing the examples he had come to know because the guides back at Tesseris took dates seriously. And it would’ve been impossible not to hear about it for nearly a week, even if none of the stories were meant to be shared with him.

The three stared at him.

All three.

Blankly.

Then Ollie said carefully, ”Brother... nutrient solutions barely take a minute to consume.”

The confused Luca froze.

Then his eyes widened.

”!!!”