The Overlord of Puluo

A tall, slender woman stepped out of the fragrant muskmelon.

At once, the Film Projector’s lens began flashing with a fierce, fiery light. ”Her long hair is tied neatly behind her head, though a few strands have escaped. The cold wind sends them dancing to and fro across her rather thin face.

”No, no, not thin. Chiseled! Just look at those marvelous angles. From her forehead to her cheekbones, from her cheeks to her jaw, every line has been carved as sharply as the edge of a knife!

”Her long, sword-shaped brows stand guard above a pair of deep-set eyes. Her pupils are black as midnight and so clear that I can see myself reflected in them. And those slightly lifted corners! One glance from them pierces straight through my heart!

”Then there is her nose, tall and straight and filled with such heroic spirit that any man would turn green with envy. Her lips are pressed tightly together and look rather pale, as though the cold wind has stolen every drop of color from them.

”But no! It is not the wind at all. It is the chill inside her, a terrible icy chill rising from the very depths of her heart. And it has not stopped at her lips. It has spread through every inch of her strong and beautiful body!

”Just look at the strength in her shoulders, the toughness of her slender waist, and the firm lines below it. She might not have the soft curves or delicate sweetness one expects from a woman, but who needs them? Those fierce, cutting lines are magnificent! She is not just beautiful. She is art itself!”

Slap!

The Glove gave the Film Projector a sharp smack.

”Just look at you! Have you no dignity at all?” the Glove scolded. ”The moment a pretty woman shows up, out come all those grand and flowery speeches. You can dress it up in as many pretty words as you like, but underneath it all, you are still thinking the same filthy thoughts!”

The Film Projector protested at once. ”There is nothing filthy in my heart! My heart is filled with nothing but a pure and noble love of art! Beautiful lady, perhaps you can start by removing that plain white robe. Let us be completely open and honest with each other...”

Slap!

The Glove sent the Film Projector tumbling over with a slap. ”Boss, that shadow-play machine does nothing but spout flowery nonsense. Not one word of it comes from the heart.

”If you want to speak from the heart, you should put your hand on your heart first. And just because a woman is beautiful does not mean she has a good heart! The prettier a heartless woman is, the worse our Boss will suffer. Boss! Let me check her heart for you! I will see how kind her heart feels!”

The Glove was about to rush forward when the Tang Saber shot across its path. ”How dare you touch such a beautiful woman before our lord? Are you putting yourself before our lord?”

”I am just checking her heart...”

”Whether it be heart or butt, front door or back door, they all belong to our lord. After my lord gets access to them, it is my turn! Step behind me!”

The Glove was so annoyed. ”WHO THE HELLY ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME TO STEP BEHIND? WHO ARE YOU TO TEACH ME A LESSON! BOSS HASN’T EVEN SAID A WORD!”

The Glove and the Tang Saber began wrestling with each other. The Tang Saber was especially strong that day and seemed to be fighting seriously.

”THE FUCK? YOU ACTUALLY CUT ME!” The Glove shouted. He was mad and immediately called out to Li Banfeng, ”Boss! Second Saber slashed at me just because of this muskmelon person! Aren’t you gonna do something?”

When the Glove looked over at Li Banfeng, he realized that Li Banfeng was eating the muskmelon.

The muskmelon was sweet, but also terribly astringent. It made Li Banfeng break out in a cold sweat, but its distinctive fragrance clung to his body.

Li Banfeng looked over the melon-grown Hong Ying and nodded. ”This time, we really did grow someone useful!”

The Glove swallowed. ”Are you going to put her to use as soon as we get back?”

The Film Projector cried out excitedly, ”I would be delighted to record this magnificent occasion!”

The Tang Saber replied, ”In this subordinate’s opinion, such a matter should not be witnessed by these filthy creatures.”

Li Banfeng called, ”Let’s go!”

The muskmelon Hong Ying caught the scent of the muskmelon clinging to him and followed him into the Pocket Dwelling. Old Teapot was brewing tea when its lid suddenly flew into the air, splashing tea everywhere.

”What’s all that racket, you old fool?” The Liquor Gourd had only just begun to doze off when the commotion woke her up.

She looked toward the doorway, and she stared at the muskmelon Hong Ying for a long while before letting out a sigh of wonder. ”Well, well. So there really is a woman this beautiful in the world.”

The Pendulum gazed at her and forgot to tick. Dream Virtue was just as spellbound. Even Threaded Earring, who was still recuperating beside the Gramophone, could not resist sitting up for a look.

The Judge’s Brush wanted very much to see her too, but felt too lazy to open his eyes.

They stared and stared until, one by one, their eyes shifted from the muskmelon woman to the real Hong Ying, who was still combing her hair.

The lock in her hand had already been torn out by the roots, yet she continued drawing the comb through it again and again, as though she had not noticed.

The Gramophone asked, ”Wretch, aren’t you going to look?”

Hong Ying lowered her head. ”I can’t see...”

After a moment, she asked cautiously, ”Does she look like me?”

The Gramophone studied the muskmelon woman. ”I don’t think so.”

Crimson Lotus’s voice floated over from the distant Ninth Room. ”I think she does.”

Li Banfeng felt that the Crimson Lotus had just said something, but he couldn’t quite hear what she said.

Wifey studied the new Hong Ying more closely. ”Husband dear, this Hong Ying seems to be missing a little spirit essence.”

”Wifey is right. Without spirit essence, she is still of no use to anyone!” Li Banfeng pricked his finger, squeezed a drop of blood onto the muskmelon, and activated the Golden House of Hidden Beauty ability.

At once, a faint rosy colour spread across Hong Ying’s pale, greenish-white skin. A moment later, the muskmelon woman no longer looked like something that had simply grown from a seed. She had gained the warmth and softness of a living person.

The Film Projector was so overcome that he cried out, ”Art! This is the art I have spent so long searching for!”

”Stop talking such useless rubbish!” The Glove spat at the Film Projector.

While everyone else was admiring Hong Ying, the Glove quietly floated around to her side and began wondering where he should make his move. At this point, he was really having this mental struggle. In fact, he was struggling so much that he felt like he was thinking like a philosopher.

I love peaches! I love a good heart too! But I cannot have both at once. If only I could grow two more hands! the Glove cried inwardly.

After giving the matter a great deal of thought, he decided to lay himself on the good heart first. The moment he touched it, the muskmelon Hong Ying would surely reach to the front to cover it. Then, while her attention was elsewhere, he could dart behind her and pluck that lovely peach!

WHO SAYS I CAN’T HAVE BOTH! The Glove thought. Having thought through his plan, the Glove flew before the muskmelon Hong Ying, only to be met with a single glance from her.

That single glance was enough. A wave of overwhelming might struck the Glove, and all the strength went out of his fingers. He fled into Li Banfeng’s pocket and hid there, trembling with fright.

The Gramophone sounded thoroughly pleased. ”Now that is more like her. Much more like her!”

The muskmelon Hong Ying turned her gaze toward the Film Projector, who hastily adjusted his focus and decided that his great pursuit of art could wait for another day.

She then looked at the Tang Saber. Still leaning against the wall, the Tang Saber spoke in a calm and dignified voice. ”This humble general is merely an ordinary blade.”

The Gramophone chuckled and turned to Li Banfeng. ”Husband dear, what do you think?”

Li Banfeng nodded approvingly. ”She looks good.”

”My darling husband, what fun is there in merely looking? Why don’t you hurry up and put her to use?”

Li Banfeng waved a hand. ”There is no hurry.”

”But I am in a rush,” the Gramophone complained coquettishly. ”I want to see whether that wretch is actually of any use.”

Li Banfeng laughed. ”One look is enough to tell that she is.”

”Then use her to your heart’s content,” the Gramophone said. As she spoke, she sent a teasing puff of steam toward the real Hong Ying.

The real Hong Ying’s emotions twisted painfully together. ”You want Darling Qi to use her? Then what about me? What does that make me? Zhao Xiaowan, you are doing this deliberately. You just want to torture me.”

Her voice broke, and she let out two quiet sobs.

”How is that torturing you?” The Gramophone laughed. ”I am helping you get what you want. Husband dear, when you have such a useful Hong Ying right in front of you, why wait?”

Li Banfeng shook his head. ”There is no rush. We can wait until we get there.”

Wifey was puzzled. ”Get where?”

”Qiu Luoye’s territory. Once we arrive, we are going to put her to work properly.”

The Gramophone grew even more confused. ”Does doing this properly require you to be at some kind of special place?”

”Of course it does. We will be relying on her from now on.”

”Relying on her?” A jealous note crept into the Gramophone’s voice. ”Then what about me...?”

”Wifey, you cannot do this particular job. She will have to be the one to do this job everyday.”

”Do it everyday? Surely not?” The Gramophone began to suspect that she had made a dreadful mistake. ”Husband dear, have you grown tired of me...?”

”Why not?” Li Banfeng patted the muskmelon-grown Hong Ying. ”I am planning to build a railway station in Qiu Luoye’s territory. Just look at the build on this girl. She will be excellent at carrying the soil.”

Everyone inside the Pocket Dwelling fell silent.

After a moment, the real Hong Ying asked softly, ”Did you say she would be carrying soil? Is that really suitable?”

”Is she not perfect for the job?” Li Banfeng asked and looked the muskmelon Hong Ying up and down again. Then, he seemed to realize something and said, ”Though I suppose using her only to carry soil would be a terrible waste of her talents. She should be more than capable of digging pits as well. Ying, give me a little more blood and grow us a few more muskmelons. We are desperately short of workers right now!”

Bang!

Hong Ying threw herself headfirst against the Gramophone. ”Xiaowan, eat my soul! I don’t want to live anymore! I cannot bear to go on living like this!”

The Gramophone panicked. ”Now, now, don’t do anything rash! Whatever is wrong, you can tell me slowly!”

Bang! Bang!

Hong Ying kept ramming the Gramophone with her spearhead. ”Eat my soul, Xiaowan! Eat me right now, or I will kill that madman!”

The Gramophone shrieked in alarm. ”Wretch, stop jabbing me with that spearhead! You are going to punch a hole through my front cabinet!”

Everyone rushed forward to stop Hong Ying, but she was far too strong for any of them to hold back. In moments, the whole household was in an uproar.

The Pocket Dwelling burst into booming laughter. ”Ho-ho-ho-ho! Qi, I knew I had not misjudged you. Building a railway station is the serious business!”

”Of course it is serious business!” Li Banfeng could not understand what all the commotion was about. ”Why have you all gone mad?”

As soon as Li Banfeng left the Pocket Dwelling, he set off for Qiu Luoye’s territory.

***

More than three thousand plots had now been activated across Qiu Luoye’s territory.

As he gazed at the vast stretch of connected daylight, Qiu Luoye could not stop grinning.

A ball of ghostfire hurriedly flew up to him. Shui Yongquan spoke in an urgent voice. ”Elephant Qiu, we have trouble.”

”Fuck! Stop trying to scare me!” Qiu Luoye waved him away. ”I am busy. I don’t have time for you!”

”I am not trying to scare you. I received word that someone from the Inner Provinces is coming, and they are coming because of what you have been doing!”

Qiu Luoye’s eyes widened. ”How did you find out about that? Are you still in contact with the Inner Provinces? Shui Yongquan, are you jealous because my business is thriving? Is that why you have come to dampen my spirits?”

Shui Yongquan let out a weary sigh. ”It’s up to you to believe me. I haven’t told Old Qi yet, so you better let him know.

”Elephant Qiu, the two of you have really crossed the line this time. The Inner Provinces already know what you are doing. And what is the use of activating all this land in such a mad hurry?

”If you want this place to become Proper Land, ten thousand people must settle on these plots and stay here. Ten thousand! Where in the world are you going to find that many people?

”You haven’t even got the thing properly started, yet you have already taken an enormous risk. Stop now, while you still can. Otherwise, it will be too late to even cry about it!”

With that, Shui Yongquan left.

Qiu Luoye fell silent.

***

When Li Banfeng arrived in Qiu Luoye’s territory, he found Qiu Luoye standing there in a daze.

He went over to him. ”Big Bro Qiu, what happened?”

”Old Shui says that I have been noticed by the Inner Provinces because of all the land we have been activating.”

Li Banfeng was startled. Shui Yongquan was not the sort to make wild claims about something like this. He did not expect the Inner Provinces to notice them so quickly.

”What are you going to do?”

Qiu Luoye sighed. ”Old Shui does have a point. Even if we activate every plot, this place still cannot become Proper Land unless ten thousand people settle here permanently.”

Li Banfeng stared at Qiu Luoye. ”Are you thinking of slowing things down too?”

”Old Qi, this is what I think...”

Qiu Luoye tilted his head back and gazed at the unbroken stretch of Heavenly Light overhead. He remained silent for a long while before rising to his feet and shaking the dead twigs and leaves from his body. ”Do you think you can get more plots activated even faster?”

Li Banfeng grinned. ”I can. But aren’t you afraid?”

Qiu Luoye clenched his teeth. ”They already know what we are doing anyway. If they come, I will fight them. You just keep activating the land and leave everything else to me. We can worry about those ten thousand people later. We will just activate enough of the entire territory. As long as you don’t lose your nerve, I will fight them to the bitter end!”

Author’s Note:

PS: Even when the cause is right, you still need to find the right person to stand with you.