Roommates With Benefits [BL]

”You had four years to do that.”

”I know.”

”And you didn’t.”

”I couldn’t.”

”You keep saying that.”

”Because it’s true.”

”Then tell me why.”

His eyes flickered for the briefest moment. There it was again.

That wall. I felt disappointment wash over me before I could stop it. ”You still won’t tell me.”

”Not yet, but I will.”

I let out a soft laugh that held no humor. ”So we’re having the same conversation as that night, cool.”

”Not exactly.”

”How is this different?”

”Because now you know why I’m here.”

I stared at him. ”That’s not reassuring.”

For some reason, that almost made me smile. Almost. Instead, I shook my head and reached for my bag. ”You should leave.”

”Do you really want me to?”

”Yes.”

”Do you mean it?”

I stopped. That question was downright unfair and I hated that he knew it.

I turned to face him. ”Yes.”

His gaze stayed locked on mine. ”You moved on from me?”

”Yes.”

”You forgot all about me?”

”Of course.”

His mouth twitched which irked me to no end.

”What?!”

”Nothing.” He said, quickly.

”You’re laughing! Why are you laughing?!”

”Because you’re lying, you and I both know that.”

My pride kicked in. ”I am not!”

”You are.”

”I forgot you!”

”Really?”

”Yes.”

”You moved on from me?”

”Yes.”

He chuckled, shaking his head like I’d just told him the moon was made of cheese. ”You’re such a terrible liar, Sunshine.”

My face burned. ”I don’t fucking care what you think.”

‎He chuckled, soft and disbelieving, and the sound did something terrible to the careful walls I had been rebuilding since the terrace. ”You’ve really moved on from me?”

‎

‎”Yes.”

‎

‎The single word was supposed to land like a door slamming shut.

Instead Damien’s mouth curved into that familiar, controlled smirk that had always meant trouble.

He reached out again, this time catching my hand properly, and pulled me closer before I could react.

The desk was still between us but it no longer felt like enough. I immediately tried to tug free. ”What the hell? Let go!”

‎

‎He didn’t. He leaned in until his mouth was near my ear, voice dropping into something quieter and more dangerous.

”Forgive me for this... but I have to see for myself.”

‎

‎I barely had time to process the words before his free hand moved to the top of my shirt.

The first button came free with a soft pop.

Then the second. I shoved at his chest, heat flooding my face so fast it felt like the room temperature had jumped ten degrees.

”D...Damien—stop—!”

‎

‎He held me firmly, not rough but immovable, backing me the last half-step until the edge of the desk pressed against my lower back.

His fingers found the thin chain I had worn every day for four years and carefully drew it free from under the fabric.

The metal felt suddenly heavier against my skin the moment his knuckles brushed it, like the necklace itself had decided to betray me.

‎

‎Damien froze.

‎

‎For a long second he just stared at the small pendant resting in his palm...the same one he had given me the night we finally stopped pretending we were only roommates who happened to share a bed more and fuck more often than not.

His eyes widened, the carefully controlled expression he had been wearing since the wedding cracked open, and something raw and almost broken moved across his face.

A single tear slipped down before he could stop it.

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my cheek, soft and trembling, the kind of contact that felt more intimate than anything louder would have been.

My stomach plummeted. I had completely forgotten about it.

Not forgotten in the literal sense...I could never forget it. But after four years of keeping it hidden beneath my shirts, I had gotten so used to its weight against my skin that I sometimes stopped thinking about it.

Clearly, Damien hadn’t...I reached up to tuck it back beneath my collar.

He watched my movement. ”You’re still wearing it.”

I shrugged. ”I...it’s just a necklace.”

His eyes returned to mine. ”You’ve been wearing it since the day I gave it to you, haven’t you?”

I stayed silent and he took a careful step closer. ”Can I see it again?”

”No.”

The answer was instinctive. He paused. ”Okay.”

I blinked. That was his response? No argument, no attempt to take it. Just okay. I slowly lowered my hand. The silence between us felt different now.

Damien looked at the necklace again, but didn’t reach for it. ”You kept it.”

I looked away. He understood. His expression shifted. All the teasing faded away. ”Oliver.”

”Don’t... Just leave okay?”

”You waited for me, even as the years passed... I had always been so scared that you would hated me now. Fuck... Sunshine,” he whispered against my skin. ”You’ve waited for me all this time, haven’t you? I’m so sorry I took so long. But I’m back now.”

‎

‎The words, the tear, the heat of his mouth still lingering on my cheek—it was too much.

My heart was hammering so hard I was half-convinced he could hear it.

Somewhere in the back of my mind a very practical voice was screaming that any second a student or a colleague could open that door and find the psychology lecturer being half-undressed by a man who looked like he belonged on the cover of Forbes.

The rest of me was too busy short-circuiting to care.

I wanted to hold him close and comfort him...but ‎I ended up shoving him back hard enough that he actually took a step.

My hands were shaking as I fumbled with the buttons, trying to close my shirt while backing toward the door and grabbing my stuff at the same time.

The necklace settled against my collarbone again, suddenly impossible to ignore.

I grabbed my bag, nearly dropping the laptop in the process, and forced my voice to work.

‎

‎”Don’t follow me.”

‎

‎Damien didn’t move. He just stood there watching me, the look on his face making it clear that whatever decision he had made the night of the wedding had only solidified in the last five minutes.

I didn’t wait to see if he would listen.

I turned and walked out of the lecture hall as fast as dignity allowed, the door swinging shut behind me with a soft thud that somehow sounded final and not final at the same time.

‎

‎The hallway was brighter than the classroom had been.

I almost collided with a student coming the other way and had to force my face into something that looked approximately normal.

”Sorry...excuse me—” My voice came out higher than usual.

The student gave me a curious look but kept walking. I didn’t stop until I reached the stairwell, where I finally allowed myself to lean against the wall and breathe.

‎

‎My hands were still trembling. The ghost of Damien’s kiss burned on my cheek like a brand I couldn’t rub away.

And underneath everything else sat the knowledge that he had seen the necklace...the one piece of evidence I had never meant for anyone to find, the quiet proof that four years of telling myself I had moved on had been a carefully constructed lie.

‎

‎I ran like the building was on fire.

The worst part was knowing he’d seen the one thing I never meant for him to see.

How much I still wanted him, after all this time.

‎