Rising Shards

Zeta and I were now each cocooned in a blanket, or kinda using them like hybrids of towels and dresses, both naked under them. We had seen each other enough that covering up was potentially pointless, but I was growing to appreciate how game Zeta was for indulging my fantasies. I made a quiet promise to do the same for her when she brought hers my way, then remembered this whole texting thing was from her, and felt a strange pang of emotions adverse to the rest I’d been feeling during this date.

”Hey, I’m not overwhelming your idea am I?” I asked.

”????????? huh?”

”I just mean! This was your idea, and now we shifted it to my thing...”

”I’m kind of following but explain a bit more please?”

”You wanted to text, right? I was just like wow Zeta indulges my fantasies like on the beach, and now again with the blanket thing, is she just going along with what I want to do? I don’t want you to just follow what I’m doing, you know?”

”My gem, I think you’re overthinking a bit. I’m absolutely excited right now that we’re both hanging out naked again, it doesn’t matter whos idea it was. (whose?)”

”I think it’s whose yes. But are you sure?”

”Okaaaaa.”

I turned to see Zeta pouting, her cheeks puffed up.

”I didn’t ruin the mood, did I?” A flash of panic struck me in my stomach.

”No, but like. I mean it. I *like* indulging your fantasies, and you indulge in mine plenty. We’re a team ya know? I did not once think that you were taking over my idea or anything. so don’t overthink it.”

”Alright...but just say so if I’m being too much.”

”You better too!”

”OK, OK.”

”You wanna keep going or do you need a break?”

”Keep going...” Now I was pouting, and Zeta’s giggle at it made me feel a little better.

”Because I’m not mad, I don’t think you’re overwhelming my ideas or anything. Really I like it when you take charge. But I’m also fine with taking charge too.”

I must’ve taken too long to respond to that, because she added, ”You sure you wanna keep going? Mood feels a bit heavy all of a sudden.”

”I’m not sad, I just wanna make sure I’m treating you right, you know?”

”Trust me, you are super duper wonderful and you treat me amazingly.” Zeta put her hand on my shoulder right after she sent that, and we locked eyes. A quick kiss conveyed a lot of what she was trying to say, but she still said it out loud to really drive it home.

”Seriously. This is great,” She whispered between kisses. ”If you want to stop we can stop, of course.”

”No!” The way I yelped that out was pretty pathetic, but Zeta kept smiling. I switched back to texting again. ”I’m sorry for making the mood weird.”

”You didn’t, this whole thing is probably bringing a ton of emotions to the table, it’s ok to feel em ya know!”

”True, true...” She was probably right, sharing sides of myself that I kept bottled up was like breaking down a dam, there were probably lots of emotions rolling in that river. ”I wonder if it’s like...Tesata-learned shame mixed with me worrying I’m not good enough for you.”

”I don’t know what to say about the Tesata shame really, I mean, wait, no, I do. I think all that crap they taught you is BS, and I don’t think we’re doing anything bad here. So don’t feel bad about that. And especially don’t think you’re not good enough for me, you’re the most amazing person and I love you.”

”I love you too, Zeta.” We took another break for some kisses, comforting ones. I worried our blankets might fall away, which was again silly as we’d seen each other before. It was like I was discovering a new layer of vulnerability, taking my clothes off was almost parallel to breaking through this dam of feelings I generally kept pent up, and both at the same time were having an effect on me. But being aware of that and Zeta accepting it and slowing the pace of our conversation down for a bit worked wonders in helping me through the foggy mix my heart was going through.

”Feel better? If not we can stop, you know.”

”I wanna keep going! Please? I’ve been wanting this kind of date with you for so long. For you, is this blankie situation helping the mood or making it worse?” I sent.

”Oh, it’s putting me in a mood alright. Well I mean we’ve already been in a mood but XD you get it. But obviously if youre out of that kind of mood! just say so!”

”I will, but I’m also very much in that mood still even if I get a rush of weird feelings randomly so!!!!”

”So!!!!!!!”

”So if we get back to our sex talk and I get really unhinged I apologize.”

”Youre totally fine oka seriously. I think at least! What was my line in that dream? Water’s fine? this metaphorical water we’re in is fine, heh.”

“The water’s a bit cold. Kay, are you ready?’ tis forever burned into my memory.”

”I love that. Still can’t believe we actually went around naked in public kinda sorta.”

”I was talking to Roux before that beach adventure and they said wanting to do things in public is a common Cani trait.”

eta snort laughed. ”Hold on, OK, sorry, my request is please talk to me about this more than Roux I promise I won’t be too scary XDDD”

”ACK I really didn’t talk to them much about it before or since, that was just a day I was supremely pent up and trying to figure out what to do. and they butted into the convo and dropped that tidbit on me.”

”As they tend to do XD i dunno if id say that is like super my thing but we also did it and were way into it so maybe theyre right that its a cani thing. but I also dont really know what my things are. i mean. girls. you. is this at all coherent.” Zeta capped that off with a bunch of random letters mashed together.

”Somewhat, you know you’re into me and girls in general but past that it’s harder to say?”

”Exactly! Also something I would not be able to say out loud until I texted it to you first. Well i mean obviously id say i like you and girls but like. even thinking about the specifics past that is kind of a ’stays in zetas brain only’ thing so it’s neat to share it with ya”

”Well I’m really glad we’re exploring this way then. So I don’t feel like this is too skewed to me, how about you take charge with the next topic then?” I suggested.

”Sure!!”