Rising Shards

Oka and I were in her room, seated side by side at the top bunk, staring at our phones. Why were we doing that and not getting more kiss time in? Because I’d been thinking for a long while that us having a chat over text would be easier for me to say some things about more intimate subjects that were harder to say out loud. 

With all the interruptions we experienced in our regular dating time, having roommates, friends, guardians, school life, clubs, and all the stupid Cani stuff getting in the way, even just finding time to text was tough. But we had an afternoon to ourselves, all our friends were busy, I’d taken care of my family business already in the morning, so I told myself I deserved this hopefully rewarding time to explore some topics with Oka.

”I’m honestly not sure where to start,” Oka sent.

We were both ready to delve into, but beginning the actual delving was difficult.

”I get it...” I sent back. ”Sometimes it’s like I can talk about it like it’s nothing, sometimes it’s like, what do I even say? But! I think it’ll be easier for me to say some things over text first. Then work up to saying them out loud too.”

”Like, sex stuff right?” Oka sent, making me blush. ”Not like you’re going to break up with me over text and then again out loud? That last one was a joke.”

”It better be,” I messaged.

”It is, I really hope I didn’t just ruin the mood!” Oka said.

”You didn’t, just have to make it clear!” I said. ”And yeah...sex stuff.”

We’d gone a ways together in this regard, but it felt like we still had a long way to go. We’d kissed a lot, grabbed each other’s bodies, and not counting that time I walked out of the shower back before we dated, we’d seen each other naked twice, once on our beach trip and once when we took a bath together. Both times were amazing in ways I found it hard to put into words, so maybe it was for the best that we were doing this next talk over text.

”Getting this out of the way now, sorry if I come across like a jerk or a creep, because I do feel like I’m a jerk and a creep about this.” Oka said.

I scoffed, trying to give a look that said that she is absolutely not a jerk or a creep. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t just say that out loud, but the two of us seemed to agree to not talk out loud during this, letting the relaxing music playing on a speaker on the desk below us be the noise for this talk.

”You’re not either,” I said. ”You’re sweet and kind and cute! And hot.”

”Awww,” Oka said. ”You’re too sweet. I think I just need to dive into a topic and I can get in the zone. Because I’m like you where sometimes it’s easy to say what I wanna say, and sometimes it’s like how do I even tell you this?”

”Like when we went to get Kalei’s game and you asked me if I did it?” I asked.

That seemed like a lifetime ago, before we were dating, but when both of us were rapidly falling for each other. Oka asking me in my own bedroom if I’d had sex with anyone wasn’t something I could process then.

”I still don’t know how I summoned the will to say that.” Oka said.

”You got the questions from a magazine right?” I asked.

”Yeah...” The embarrassment just in one word was palpable. ”A...teen pop magazine. It’s embarrassing to think about now.”

”I think it’s cute! Part of our history, you know?” I said. ”I’ll never forget how I felt when you asked me about sex out of the blue.”

”I don’t know if I could even say it now.” Oka said.

”It’s probably bad if we regress like that though, so maybe we should try saying it again?” I suggested. “I won’t have a different answer of course if that helps XD but just for asking’s sake.”

”Alright...yeah, that’s a good place to start,” Oka said. ”Zeta, have you had sex before?”

”Nope! Furthest I’ve gone with anyone is you, with the whole naked on the beach hug situation, and our bath. Holy frick that beach one’s still surreal to type.” I said.

The beach escapade was one of the more daring things I’d done in my life, one that could have gotten us in big trouble. I think even if I was dating someone else, they wouldn’t have gotten me to go for something so wild, only Oka could get me to do that.

We snuck into an empty theater on the beach, took our swimsuits off, and mostly just stared at each other. I had daydreamed plenty about her body and stared just as much at her, but seeing her in the flesh was so much better than just imagining how she’d look. That day replaced a lot of fantasies in my head, as did the time we took a bath together. We were inching forward physically, but we hadn’t had much intimacy time as of late with all the various family and school drama.

Oka said she wanted more, which was scary and exciting, but after she told me that, it hit me that I wanted it too. I really didn’t want her to think her attraction was one sided, because I felt it too. It was silly of either of us to think the other wasn’t as interested, we’d both caught each other staring, our friends made fun of us for staring at each other, when we were alone we felt the magnetic pull toward each other, like the times we got really excited and started biting, that sort of thing...but we both had worry filled personalities so we also needed to reassure the other a lot for a lot of reasons.

I realized Oka hadn’t responded.

”Oka? Still there?” I asked, something silly to send when my girlfriend was sitting right next to me.

”Yeah sorry! I’m just...thinking about how great that beach day was.” Oka said.

”Hehehe. Maybe we should do something like that again soon.”