I Became the Villainess, But My Beast Husbands Can Hear My Mind?!

”Why?” he asked quietly. He even pretended to look weaker, turning his head away and coughing a little. ”Did I... do something wrong?”

Roxanna frowned, her brows pulling tightly together, showing clearly that she really was angry at him.

”Your reckless behavior didn’t just put you in danger. It also endangered Cyrus when he tried to save you.” Roxanna looked at him seriously. ”And don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying this because I think you’re a burden. It’s actually the opposite.”

”Luan, you’re very important to me. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” She let out a tired sigh. ”No wonder my heart hasn’t been calm at all tonight. Zeir and I were even waiting for you outside the settlement gate.”

”You waited outside?” Luan asked, shocked. ”Why would you do that? You must have been freezing.”

”Because I was worried about you,” Roxanna said softly. Her arms slipped gently around his waist. ”I was scared you wouldn’t come home.”

[If Luan and Cyrus had died in the cursed forest, I would never forgive myself,] Roxanna thought sadly. [If I hadn’t suggested using the black demon crystal, maybe none of this would have happened...]

The person who suggested using the Black Crystal was actually Luan himself, so she shouldn’t be blaming herself.

Sometimes, Luan really couldn’t understand how someone could blame themselves so easily. This wasn’t just once or twice, but it happened all the time. And even though they’d only known each other a short while, he was already certain that in her past life, Roxanna must have apologized endlessly.

Maybe thousands of times. Maybe millions.

He wanted to understand her better, but the more he listened to her thoughts, the more he realized she had never seen herself as someone valuable.

In fact... she probably believed she wasn’t worth anything at all.

”I’m sorry,” Luan said at last.

He still didn’t fully understand Roxanna, but in some ways, she reminded him of himself.

No, he didn’t go around apologizing like she did. But he also never believed his own life was worth much.

He didn’t have the same self-destructive urges Calen once had, but sometimes he found himself wishing something terrible would just... happen to him.

Something sudden. Something that gave him no time to react or fight back.

Because if there was even the smallest chance to survive, his body would still fight to live.

So instead, he wished for something quick, like a demon beast tearing off his head, or accidentally stepping into a nest of demon ants.

”I don’t even know why I did it,” Luan finally admitted, lowering his gaze, as if he didn’t have the courage to meet her eyes. ”I just... wanted to kill that damn demon.”

Roxanna looked deeper into his eyes. ”Is it because of what Cyrus told me earlier?”

”Yes,” Luan admitted. ”It’s the same demon beast that killed my brother. I recognized its scent, so there’s no way I could ever forget it. I just never expected that bastard to appear here of all places.”

He sighed. ”My old settlement was far from here, and there are forests much closer to it than this cursed one.”

Roxanna also found it strange. But right now, what mattered most wasn’t the mystery, but it was Luan’s feelings. ”It must be really hard for you, isn’t it?” she said gently. ”Seeing the same creature that hurt your brother back then.”

”That damn beast didn’t just hurt my brother, it killed him!” Luan’s eyes widened as he accidentally shouted at Roxanna. He immediately sat up, groaning as he dragged his hands over his face in frustration. ”I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

He still couldn’t bring himself to look at her. ”Maybe... you should sleep with the others tonight,” he said quietly. He swallowed hard. ”I’m not in the right state of mind. I’m sorry.”

He rarely apologized to anyone, but when it came to Roxanna, he suddenly couldn’t stop saying it, because he knew he shouldn’t act like this.

He was supposed to control his emotions. His brother used to tell him to always stay calm so he could see things clearly. If he exploded like Calen all the time, the consequences would be terrible.

If he lost control like Calen all the time, the results would be disastrous.

To be a warrior, he needed to stay calm and act strong at all times.

But when Roxanna gently touched his arm, then slowly wrapped her arms around him from behind, Luan could no longer hold back his emotions, just like ripples spreading across still water after a stone is thrown into it.

”It’s alright,” she said softly, so softly that her voice slipped straight into his heart, reaching the deepest wounds he had kept buried there. ”If someone killed my family, I would be just as angry as you. And I would be just as sad.”

Luan turned his face away from her and whispered, ”I’m angry.”

Roxanna rested her cheek lightly against his arm.

”When you grieve,” she said gently, ”you don’t just feel one thing. Sometimes it’s anger. Sometimes fear. Sometimes guilt. And sometimes sadness. You can’t erase any of it, Luan. Those feelings are part of you. They’re part of us.”

They might not be human, but even beastkins still had human traits. That was why there was nothing wrong with having many different emotions.

”Being sad or crying doesn’t make you weak,” Roxanna said gently. ”It’s just the body’s way of letting all the pain and negativity out. And after that... you can stand up again and be a strong warrior.”

”My brother wouldn’t agree with that,” Luan whispered, so softly it was almost lost in the air.

”But right now, it isn’t your brother sitting beside you. It’s me.” Roxanna tilted her head slightly so she could see his face. ”And to me... I’ll accept every part of my husbands. Whether it’s your strongest side... or your weakest one.”

”I don’t... want you to see me as weak,” he finally whispered. ”I don’t want you to think I’m pathetic.”

Roxanna shook her head gently. ”I don’t,” she replied softly. ”To me, the bravest people are the ones who still choose to live, even when their hearts are full of pain.”