Legend of Hogwarts (Harry Potter x League of Legends)

A legendary tale of someone who once crawled through sewer pipes teaches us just how important the squirrel-like habit of collecting as you go can be, especially at critical moments.

Sure, this world doesn’t have magical coins that give you an extra life after collecting a hundred, or mythical mushrooms that turn house elves into giants, or divine flowers that transform you into a futuristic warrior, but it does have green beans!

As the saying goes, ”Fortune and misfortune go hand in hand.” When Allen and his group of three were teleported straight into the battlefield, Allen never expected to hit the jackpot like this.

It was like stumbling upon a treasure map leading to a field full of Galleons, what a massive win!

Had they missed this specific time and location, there likely wouldn’t be another wizarding war of this scale anytime soon, aside from maybe Voldemort’s assault on Hogwarts. Allen honestly couldn’t think of any other magical conflict that reached this level of chaos.

And the best part? Since nobody knew him here, Allen felt zero guilt about collecting souls. After all, anonymity is often the best cure for a guilty conscience.

When they were suddenly dropped into the battlefield, even Ivan, who had been trying to recruit Allen to his side, was completely shell-shocked. He had only expected a minor skirmish, not to be thrown in as cannon fodder!

To make matters worse, they’d been teleported into a strategic hotspot, a rare and contested apparition point.

These magical shopping districts don’t normally allow Apparition, after all. Even if you don’t land on someone, you might crush the flowers and landscaping, which is still a crime in some wizarding communities.

Now that the Floo Network was sealed off, these apparition points were like respawn zones in a PvP game. Whichever side controlled them held the upper hand, and let’s face it, if your team is already being spawn-camped, where are you getting the confidence for a comeback?

Unfortunately for the point-defenders, they got ambushed by what can only be described as a cursed draw, someone should’ve told them that if a flying dragon’s already sitting on your face, there’s no way you’re winning.

While they were trying to perform routine identity checks to avoid friendly fire, they were struck by an even more terrifying force:

Flying Bear Face Smash.ℯℯ𝘭.

Even worse? It was the non-consensual kind. As the massive shadow descended from above, every wizard present froze as if petrified by a spell, their only action left being to stare helplessly at the enormous buttocks flying toward their faces,

”Darling, come quick, it’s God.”

Alas, they didn’t know about that famous line on a certain magical gay fan forum:

”Sis, look, it’s God sitting on a dog.”

AVP, Tibbers.

It was at that moment that Ivan finally pulled out a badge from his robe and shouted:

”Wait! Don’t attack! I’m with the Ministry!”

But by then... he was already too late.

Because, honestly, he hadn’t even lifted a finger, yet all the enemies had already been flattened.

As a side note, while Ivan was still too stunned to speak, Allen was already expertly looting the corpses.

The scene made Ivan feel like something was seriously off. How could a noble vampire lower himself to pick over dead bodies for money? Was this some kind of scam?

But he quickly dismissed the thought, because the ”noble vampire” in question now had a wicked grin as he pulled out a glowing green lantern.

A small, gem-like wisp of energy floated from one of the corpses and drifted into the lantern. Ivan recognized the magic immediately, it was the same kind used to trap ghosts.

And thinking about how he had previously tried to manipulate someone so terrifying, Ivan suddenly felt the cold sweat soaking the back of his robes.

Terrifying beyond words...

Then, as that soul-collecting devil turned to face him and ask a question, Ivan forced the most dazzling smile of his life.

”So... are there any other ways out of here?” Allen asked nonchalantly.

Ivan’s smile froze on his face.

In the humblest tone possible, he replied, ”Sir, there really aren’t. I honestly didn’t think this place would erupt like this. Kadrov’s shop might be small, but it’s the most well-known smuggler’s hub around here...”

He braced himself for Allen’s wrath.

To his surprise, Allen simply nodded in understanding, muttered ”Got it,” and casually pulled a few hairs from one of the corpses.

Earlier, Allen didn’t intervene because the risks outweighed the benefits, but now? Things had changed. Praise Merlin!

After a few brief instructions, Allen quickly cast Disillusionment Charms on all three of them, and they slipped out of the area. This war zone was a hotbed for wizarding conflict, Allen had no plans to play tower defense here.

After randomly entering a store, Allen peeked into the cash register, empty.

”Alright, find an empty room, drink your potion, and put on the clothes inside. Let’s gear up.”

Disguises served two purposes: one, the Disillusionment Charm wasn’t foolproof and could expose them easily, nothing beat Polyjuice Potion. Two, it made looting more convenient. Allen didn’t particularly like killing, but soul-collecting? He had no qualms about that.

The only downside was how fast the souls dissipated, and how hard they were to detect, especially when he didn’t have the lantern in hand.

Allen couldn’t help but think back to the guy he’d offed earlier.

What a waste...

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Both sides of the battle had truly lost it. Their only way to tell friend from foe was by robe length, those at a disadvantage wore short robes, while the others wore long ones.

If Allen and his group hadn’t changed clothes in time, they would’ve stood out like tofu in a chili oil debate, neither sweet camp nor savory camp, but something weird and in between.

This wasn’t your Hogwarts-style duel where people stuck to Stunning Spells and non-destructive curses. No, these guys weren’t holding back at all.

They were more than happy to trade a person’s life for the cost of a building. Just like when Wormtail blew up a whole street with a single spell while framing Sirius Black.

The fighting had devolved into brutal urban warfare, think demolition-style brawls. Even though Allen’s group posed as part of the winning side, they couldn’t avoid getting dragged into a few skirmishes.

Still, in the end, Allen pocketed a few more glowing beans.

Eventually, they found the shop Ivan had told them about, a half-collapsed building with flames still flickering inside.

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