After Rebirth, I Became My Ex's Aunt-in-Law

Aria didn’t stir.

Her eyes remained perfectly shut, her breathing shallow and even beneath the plastic oxygen mask.

”Okay, very funny,” Zoe said, crossing her arms over her chest. ”I said the coast is clear. You can drop the act.”

Aria remained completely motionless.

Zoe’s confident posture faltered. Her arms dropped to her sides.

”Aria?” Zoe whispered, leaning closer.

Nothing. Not a twitch. Not a flutter of an eyelash.

A cold, heavy drop of dread plunged directly into Zoe’s stomach. What if the stress of holding her breath had actually triggered something?

”Aria, stop messing around,” Zoe said, her voice pitching up with sudden, raw panic. She reached out, grabbing Aria’s shoulder and shaking her. ”Wake up! I’m not falling for this again! Wake up right now!”

She shook her harder, her chest heaving, the terror completely hijacking her rational brain. ”Oh my god, I knew this was a bad idea! I knew we shouldn’t have done this! NURSE! I NEED A—”

Aria couldn’t hold it in for another second.

A loud, aggressive snort ripped through the oxygen mask.

Aria burst into a fit of breathless, wheezing laughter. She yanked the plastic mask off her face, tossing it onto the mattress, and began peeling the fake medical tape off the back of her hand with a grin.

”Oh my god,” Aria cackled, wiping a tear from her eye. ”You are so easy!”

Zoe stared at her, her heart hammering violently against her ribs. The terror evaporated, instantly replaced by a blinding, homicidal rage.

Smack.

Zoe slapped Aria hard on the bicep.

”Ow!” Aria yelped, rubbing her arm.

”What is wrong with you?!” Zoe shrieked, leaning over the bed to smack her again. ”Have you literally never read the story of the boy who cried wolf?!”

”Stop hitting me,” Aria frowned, ignoring the scolding entirely. She sat up, her eyes landing on the bedside table. ”Now, give me your phone. I want to see the photos and videos.”

Aria lunged across the mattress.

Zoe’s brain short-circuited. Her phone. The phone that contained her camera roll. The camera roll that contained...it.

”No!” Zoe gasped, diving across the bed to intercept her.

”Give it to me!” Aria laughed, grabbing the edge of the phone case just as Zoe’s fingers closed around the top.

”Aria, back off!” Zoe yelled, yanking the device backward. ”Client-publicist confidentiality! You can’t look at my gallery! I have... unedited selfies in there! I look bloated!”

”I have worse photos of you!” Aria argued, throwing her entire body weight into the struggle.

They dissolved into a full-blown wrestling match right there on the tiny ICU bed. They grappled, their hands slipping and mashing violently across the glowing screen of the iPhone. Aria tried to pry Zoe’s fingers back, while Zoe used her hips to shove Aria off the bed.

”Let go!” Zoe panted, gaining the upper hand.

With a triumphant grunt, Zoe wrenched the phone completely out of Aria’s grasp. She scrambled backward, kneeling on the edge of the mattress, and held the phone high above her head like a hard-won trophy.

”Victory is mine!” Zoe cheered, completely out of breath.

Aria sat back on her heels.

A slow, wicked smile curved Aria’s lips.

”You have no idea who you’re dealing with,” Aria whispered.

Before Zoe could register the threat, Aria struck.

Her hand shot out with viper-like speed. She aimed her first two fingers directly at the hollow of Zoe’s shoulder—the Jianjing acupressure point. Aria pressed down, pinching the nerve cluster directly against the muscle.

Zoe let out a sharp, breathless gasp.

A numbing shockwave shot straight down Zoe’s arm. Her entire limb turned to absolute jelly. Her fingers involuntarily uncurled, losing all motor function in a split second.

The iPhone slipped from her deadened grasp and dropped onto the mattress right between them.

”Ah!” Zoe shrieked, clutching her limp, tingling arm with her good hand. ”That is cheating! Where did you even learn how to do that?! You just paralyzed me!”

”Ancient Chinese secrets, bitch,” Aria snickered viciously, swooping in to snatch the phone off the duvet.

The screen was facing down.

”Aria, I swear to God, do not look at that screen!” Zoe panicked, her arm slowly regaining feeling. ”Close the app!”

”Let’s just see what you’re hiding,” Aria hummed, flipping the phone over to look at the screen.

Aria’s emerald eyes locked onto the glowing retina display.

For one second, there was total silence.

Then, Aria’s eyes widened to the size of actual saucers. Her jaw unhinged. The color completely drained from her face, only to return in a violent flush of absolute horror.

It was a 4K, ultra-high-definition, incredibly well-lit photograph of a penis.

It was thick, veiny, aggressively erect, and pierced horizontally straight through the glans with a thick steel barbell. An ampallang.

”AAHHH! A DICK!” Aria shrieked at the top of her lungs.

She recoiled violently, treating the iPhone like a live, ticking hand grenade. She threw it.

The phone sailed through the air, flipping end over end.

At that exact, horrifying millisecond, the glass doors of the ICU room swung open.

Elias and Damien stepped into the room.

The iPhone hit the linoleum floor. It skittered across the smooth tiles, sliding perfectly, agonizingly forward until it bumped to a gentle halt directly against the toe of Elias’s polished dress shoe.

The screen was facing straight up. The brightness was on max.

The room went dead silent.

Elias paused. He slowly lowered his gaze to the floor.

He let out a long, heavy sigh.

”I never expected Kai’s penis to come back to haunt me,” Elias deadpanned, his voice entirely flat and devoid of emotion.

Aria slapped both of her hands over her burning face, letting out a muffled groan of pure agony into her palms. Zoe looked like she wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole.

The moment Elias uttered the words Kai’s penis, Damien’s entire body locked into stone. He didn’t look down. He rigidly kept his gaze fixed on the ceiling tiles, a look of profound, deeply buried trauma flashing across his handsome face.

Damien remembered the day Kai had gotten that piercing. He remembered Kai barging into his office, dropping his trousers without warning, and aggressively refusing to leave until both he and Julian looked at it and complimented his pain tolerance.

It was a memory Damien had spent thousands of dollars in premium scotch trying to repress.

Right on cue, the phone in Damien’s pocket began to vibrate loudly.

He took two large, hasty steps backward toward the hallway. ”Diana? Why are you still pestering me? I told you that you could come.”

Elias slowly looked up from the floor. He met Zoe’s mortified, wide-eyed stare. He looked at Aria, who was peeking through her fingers, her face the color of a tomato.

Elias didn’t say a single word.

He slowly, deliberately took a step backward into the hallway. Then another. He maintained awkward, unblinking eye contact with them as he moonwalked entirely out of the room. He reached out, grabbed the handle, and pulled the glass door shut with a soft click.

Zoe sat frozen on the bed. Aria sat frozen next to her.

Ten seconds passed.

Then, Zoe turned her head. Her eyes were burning with lethal, unadulterated fury.

SMACK.

Zoe slapped Aria hard on the arm.

”Why do you keep embarrassing me in front of the hot doctor?!” Zoe shrieked, her face burning.

Aria recovered instantly from her shock. Her own outrage flared.

SMACK. Aria slapped Zoe right back, pointing a furious finger at the floor where the phone still glowed.

”Why do you have Kai’s dick saved on your phone in 4K resolution?!” Aria yelled back.