After Rebirth, I Became My Ex's Aunt-in-Law

Dr. Elias stopped dead in his tracks.

He stood at the foot of the hospital bed, his eyes flicking between Aria and a red-faced Zoe.

Elias slowly lowered his clipboard.

”Mrs. Sinclair,” Elias said, his voice entirely deadpan. ”I am gay.”

Aria waved her hand dismissively, not buying it for a single second.

”Elias, please,” Aria scoffed, keeping the hospital blanket securely tucked under her armpits as she reached blindly for her iPad on the bedside table. ”You don’t have to lie just to spare her feelings. I know she looks like she just crawled out of a storm drain, but I swear she cleans up amazing.”

Zoe let out a whimpering sound, sinking lower into the plastic chair until she was basically sliding onto the floor. ”Aria, stop talking.”

”No, seriously, hold on,” Aria insisted, aggressively swiping her thumb across the iPad screen to open her iCloud photo gallery. ”I have pictures of her from Ibiza last summer. She was wearing this neon orange bikini, and she’s literally a solid ten. Look at the bone structure—”

”Aria.”

Elias’s voice cut through her rambling. It wasn’t loud, but it possessed the firm, unyielding tone of a chief medical officer who was used to delivering hard truths.

Aria paused, looking up from the screen.

Elias adjusted his glasses, meeting her gaze with absolute, unshakeable sincerity.

”I’m sorry,” Elias stated, his tone incredibly dry. ”But I am not lying to spare your friend’s feelings. I am fundamentally, exclusively, and enthusiastically attracted to men.”

Aria froze.

Her thumbs stopped hovering over the glowing iPad screen. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows shot up toward her hairline, and her mouth popped open into a perfect, silent ’O’.

’Oh,’ Aria thought, the realization crashing over her. ’Oh wow. Okay.’

”I’m so sorry,” Aria said quickly, setting the iPad face-down on the mattress. ”I completely missed that vibe.”

”That’s okay,” Elias responded. ”I’m officially clearing you. You can be discharged tomorrow morning.”

Aria let out a loud, triumphant cheer. ”Finally!”

”I will sign the release paperwork tonight,” Elias muttered, turning toward the glass doors.

The door clicked shut behind him, plunging the ICU room back into silence.

Zoe slowly slid all the way off the plastic chair, ending up in a miserable heap on the cold linoleum floor. She pulled the hoodie over her head, burying her face in her knees.

”I am officially retiring from society,” Zoe’s muffled voice echoed from beneath the fabric. ”I can’t believe you just tried to auction me off to a gay man while I look like an extra from The Walking Dead.”

”How was I supposed to know?” Aria defended herself, leaning over the edge of the bed to look down at her best friend. ”I don’t know everything about my husband’s friends!”

”You’re a menace,” Zoe groaned, throwing the hoodie off her head.

”Moving on,” Aria clapped her hands together, shifting seamlessly to plan B. ”Leo.”

Zoe stared at her, horrified. ”The Tik Tok kid? Aria, no.”

”Yes,” Aria insisted, pointing a finger at her. ”He is a golden retriever. He has absolutely zero toxic traits. He is the exact opposite of the guys you’re hooking up with, which is exactly what you need right now.”

”He’s a child!”

”He’s a legally voting adult with a burgeoning acting career and a very sweet personality,” Aria corrected. ”One date. Get coffee. Let him buy you a pastry. Let a nice, harmless boy treat you like a princess for an hour so your mind remembers what green flags look like.”

Zoe let out a long, suffering sigh, dropping her head back against the leg of the chair.

”Fine,” Zoe grumbled in defeat. ”One coffee date. But if he uses the word ’skibidi’, I am walking out.”

”Deal,” Aria beamed, thoroughly satisfied with her handiwork. ”Now, get out. I need to go shower and actually put clothes on before the nurse brings breakfast.”

”Wait, wait,” Zoe scrambled up from the floor. ”We have to talk about tomorrow.”

Aria paused, pulling the blanket a little tighter around herself. ”Tomorrow? My discharge?”

”Your visitors,” Zoe said, crossing her arms. ”The cast and production team of The Empress’s Shadow want to visit you here tomorrow morning.”

Aria’s eyes narrowed instantly. ”Since when do they care about how I’m doing?”

”They don’t,” Zoe said bluntly. ”It’s a PR stunt. The studio is getting absolutely hammered by fan backlash. People are furious that you’ve been completely excluded from the promo photos and videos while Bella parades around playing the victim. The producers are panicking. They want to bring flowers, take a few tasteful ’we support our co-star’ photos, and post them to show the world that there’s no bad blood.”

Zoe stepped closer to the bed, her expression turning serious.

”What do you want to do? You’re being discharged tomorrow, are we releasing a statement? Do we drop a photo of you walking out of the hospital, alive and well, to shut down the death conspiracy theories?”

”No statement,” Aria purred.

”No statement?” Zoe blinked. ”Aria, the internet thinks you’re dead and your husband is trying to cover it up.”

”Awesome,” Aria grinned. ”Let them think that. Let them mourn me. Let Bella absolutely bathe in the spotlight of the grieving sister on her little press tour.”

Aria leaned forward, the blanket slipping slightly as she laid out her master plan.

”The premiere is in nine days. Nine days, Zoe. If I completely ghost the world until then... the internet will be frothing at the mouth by the night of the red carpet. They will be expecting a somber, tragic memorial for the missing Consort Li.”

Zoe’s jaw slowly dropped as she realized exactly what Aria was plotting.

”Holy shit,” Zoe breathed, a wide grin spreading across her face. ”It would literally break the internet. It would be the greatest PR stunt of the decade.”

”It will be,” Aria agreed smugly. ”So, let the cast come tomorrow. Let them bring their cheap flowers and their fake sympathy. I’ll play the tragic, bedridden victim.”

Zoe started aggressively typing notes into her phone, her energy completely restored by the sheer pettiness of the strategy.

But then, Zoe paused. Her thumbs hovered over the screen.

”Aria,” Zoe said hesitantly, biting her lip. ”I love this plan. I really do. But... are you sure Damien is going to approve this cast visit?”

Aria tilted her head. ”Why wouldn’t he?”

”Because he has literal mercenaries standing outside this door,” Zoe pointed out, gesturing wildly toward the hallway. ”If Bella Vale steps off that elevator with a camera crew, your husband might actually shoot her.”

Aria let out a soft, airy laugh.

”Don’t worry about Damien,” Aria said, waving her hand dismissively. ”Handling my husband is my specialty.”