After Rebirth, I Became My Ex's Aunt-in-Law

Damien ripped the back door of the SUV open.

He expected to find his wife slumped in the leather seat, peacefully sleeping off the tequila. Instead, he opened the door to a flurry of rose-gold hair and absolute chaos.

”I’M HOME!” Aria loudly announced. She leaned forward, entirely ignoring gravity, and practically fell out of the cabin.

Damien’s reflexes flared. He caught her effortlessly, his large hands clamping around her waist. But Aria didn’t just sag against him. Using his solid grip for leverage, she shimmied upward, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and locking her legs around his waist like a highly affectionate koala.

Her silver Jimmy Choos dangled in the air, clicking together as she secured her hold. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, a warm, heavy weight smelling sharply of expensive alcohol and pub grease.

”I missed my sexy husband,” she mumbled against his throat, pressing a series of hot, sloppy kisses along his jawline and collarbone. ”I missed your stupid, perfect face.”

Damien let out a low, rough chuckle that vibrated against her chest. He adjusted his grip, his hands sliding under her thighs to support her weight. He was just relieved she was safe, even if she was currently acting like a feral raccoon.

”I’m glad you missed me,” Damien murmured, his gaze dropping to her flushed, beautiful face.

Suddenly, Aria pulled back, her eyes narrowing with drunken determination as she slid back down from his hold on wobbly legs. ”Take it off,” she commanded.

Her hands flew to the hem of his black t-shirt. She gripped the cotton and yanked upward, exposing a sliver of his hard, sculpted stomach to the chilly garage air.

”Aria,” Damien laughed, grabbing her wrists to stop her from completely de-pantsing him. ”What are you doing?”

”I need to check something very important!” she whined loudly, fighting his grip with the uncoordinated strength of the blackout drunk. ”I bragged about your abs to the grips! If you only have a six-pack, I’m going to look like a liar, Damien. A liar!”

”I have an eight-pack,” Damien assured her, thoroughly amused, easily wrestling her flailing hands away from his shirt and pinning them to his chest.

”Prove it,” she slurred, leaning her head back to look at him, her eyes glassy and unfocused. ”Take off the shirt.”

”Not in the garage,” he murmured, his gaze dropping to her swollen lips.

”Excuse me?” a timid voice squeaked.

Damien didn’t even turn his head. He just tightened his hold on Aria’s wrists as she tried to bite the fabric of his shirt.

The girl in the flannel pajamas was standing a few feet away, her eyes wide. She was clutching her phone, staring at Aria’s flushed face and messy hair. She had watched Leo’s chaotic TikTok live from the bar.

”Oh my god,” the sister whispered, trembling. ”You’re... you’re Sister Aria.”

Aria paused her assault on Damien’s chest. She slowly turned her head. She blinked at the girl, her expression shifting from feral wife to something strangely blank.

”Mrs. Sinclair,” the girl stammered, taking a cautious step closer but keeping a healthy distance from Damien’s lethal glare. ”I’m Leo’s sister. He... he was on TikTok with you earlier. Is he coming back? Is he okay?”

The alcohol bypassed Aria’s logic entirely and tapped directly into her method-acting reserves.

Her face went completely deadpan. The playful, drunk energy vanished, replaced by the hollow, tragic emptiness of Consort Li. She stared at the girl with eyes that looked like they had seen centuries of sorrow.

”Leo?” Aria whispered, her voice dropping to a haunting, dramatic rasp.

The sister swallowed hard, nodding. ”Yes.”

Aria let out a heavy sigh, looking at the concrete floor. ”He didn’t make it.”

The girl froze. ”What?”

”He was too pure for this world,” Aria said, her voice cracking with fake emotion. ”He’s with the angels now.”

Smack.

The sister’s smartphone slipped from her hand and hit the concrete. Her face drained of all color. She opened her mouth, a high-pitched, tea-kettle wheeze of absolute horror building in her throat.

Aria looked at the girl’s terrified face for three seconds.

Then, she broke character.

Aria burst into a fit of cackling laughter. She pointed a finger at the traumatized girl, leaning heavily against Damien’s chest because she was laughing too hard to hold herself up.

”I’m joking!” Aria wheezed, wiping a tear of mirth from her eye. ”Oh my god, you should see your face! He’s alive!”

Damien sighed, though a dark smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. She was an absolute menace to society, and he found it incredibly entertaining.

Right on cue, a yellow Uber screeched around the corner and slammed to a halt near the elevators.

The back door flew open. Leo tumbled out, wearing his bucket hat sideways. He had a literal smear of blue frosting across his cheek and a goofy grin on his face.

”I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD!” Leo shouted at the empty garage, doing a clumsy spin. He spotted his sister. ”Hey, Sis! I brought cake! No cap!”

The sister stared at her brother, looked back at the cackling Aria, and then let out a shriek of rage.

”YOU IDIOT!” she screamed, lunging at Leo and smacking his arm. ”I GAVE YOU A CURFEW!”

Aria cheered, clapping her hands.

”Okay, that’s enough,” Damien decided.

He reached down to hook his arm behind the backs of her knees. With one smooth, effortless motion, he hoisted Aria up and flipped her over his broad shoulder like a sack of extremely expensive potatoes.

”Hey!” Aria yelped, suddenly staring at the back of his calves, her silver heels kicking in the air. ”Put me down! I want to watch them fight!”

”I’m taking you to bed, Mrs. Sinclair,” Damien said, adjusting his grip on her thighs and marching toward the private elevator.

”Tyrant!” she accused, though she didn’t actually fight his hold anymore. She dangled upside down, perfectly content to be carried.

As Damien walked, Aria reached out and patted his ass affectionately.

”Nice glutes, Daddy,” she slurred.

Damien stumbled over nothing, a low groan rumbling in his chest.

”I am going to drown you in a very large glass of water,” he promised, pressing the elevator button.

”Kinky,” Aria giggled. ”I love it.”