After Rebirth, I Became My Ex's Aunt-in-Law

”Duck!” Aria hissed, grabbing Zoe by the shoulders and physically spinning her around so her back was to the door.

”Ow! Why?” Zoe yelped, stumbling in her heels.

”If he sees us, this night is over. We are hiding.” Aria risked a glance over her shoulder. He was scanning the room with lazy arrogance.

”Hiding?” Zoe squeaked, trying to peek over Aria’s shoulder. ”From Kai Vane? Are you insane? I want him to perceive me. I want him to perceive me so hard.”

”You don’t want him,” Aria argued, dragging Zoe behind a large, decorative fern that had seen better days. ”You’re starstruck. You want the magazine cover. The real thing is... messy. He’s a player, Zoe. He’s the reddest flag in a factory of red flags.”

”Red looks good on me,” Zoe countered breathlessly, clutching her chest.

”He will ruin your life,” Aria insisted, peeking through the plastic leaves.

”I’m literally begging for ruin!”

Aria groaned. ”No. We are sticking to the plan. We are finding you a nice, stable human being. Maybe an architect. Or a dentist. Someone who doesn’t have a body count over 50.”

”I don’t think it’s over 50!” Zoe laughed.

Aria checked the room again.

Kai Vane had stopped scanning. His gaze had landed on the fern. A slow, lazy smirk spread across his face. He started walking.

”Damn it,” Aria cursed. ”He saw the fern moving.”

”He’s coming?” Zoe’s breath hitched, her hands flying to her hair. ”Oh god. Kai Vane is walking towards us. He has legs. He’s using them. I can’t breathe. Is my eyeliner even? Do I look like a wife? Or a mistress? I’m fine with mistress.”

”Zoe, pull it together,” Aria snapped, stepping out from behind the plant to intercept him. ”Do not faint. Do not throw up.”

Kai glided through the crowd, dodging a drunk gaffer with the grace of a jungle cat navigating a landfill. He looked absurdly out of place. His leather jacket cost more than the building, his jewelry was real, and his smile was sharp enough to cut glass.

He stopped a respectful two feet away from Aria, but his eyes danced with amusement.

”Sister-in-law,” Kai drawled, lifting his sunglasses to peer at her. ”I didn’t know you were into botany. Nice fern.”

”I was inspecting the foliage,” Aria said flatly. ”Go away, Kai. This isn’t your kind of place.”

”I enjoy the rustic ambiance,” Kai lied, looking around at the peeling wallpaper with mild disgust. ”It keeps me grounded.”

”Bullshit,” Aria called him out. ”Damien sent you, didn’t he? He sent you to babysit.”

Kai placed a hand over his heart, ”I am hurt. Truly. Can’t a man just want to enjoy a lukewarm beer among the working class?”

”You drink scotch that’s older than me,” Aria deadpanned. ”Go away. This is a Girls’ Night. No husbands. No babysitters. And definitely no chaos demons.”

”I’m not a demon, I’m an angel who just wants to have some fun,” Kai countered.

He shifted his weight, looking past Aria’s shoulder to where Zoe was visibly freaking out on the inside.

”And who is your friend? You’re being very rude, hiding her.”

Aria tightened her stance. ”This is Zoe. She is my best friend. She is a nice girl. She has a credit score of 750 and a heart of gold. Which means she is entirely off-limits to you.”

”I like nice girls,” Kai grinned, stepping to the side to bypass Aria’s block.

He looked at Zoe.

Zoe looked like she had just looked directly into the sun.

”Hello,” Kai said, his voice dropping an octave. ”I’m Kai.”

Zoe opened her mouth. Aria prayed for something cool. Something witty.

”You’re Kai Vane,” Zoe breathed, using his full government name like a prayer. ”You drive a McLaren P1. It has a twin-turbo V8 engine. You bought it in 2022. You hate cilantro.”

Silence stretched.

Aria closed her eyes. ’Oh, honey.’

Kai blinked. Then, he laughed—a genuine, surprised sound.

”I do,” he admitted, looking delighted. ”You know cars?”

”No,” Zoe whispered, looking like she wanted to die. ”I just... read. Words. About... Kai Vane.”

She looked at Aria with panic-stricken eyes. ’Help me,’ she mouthed.

”Don’t you have friends, Kai?” Aria interrupted, trying to salvage the wreckage. ”Go find them. We’re busy looking for... green flags.”

”My friends are boring,” Kai said, not looking away from Zoe. ”You two seem much more interesting.”

He gestured to the booth where Bella was currently slumped over the table.

”Is that seat taken?”

”Yes,” Aria lied.

”Great.” Kai slid into the booth next to the unconscious Bella, making himself right at home. He signaled the bartender. ”Tequila! The bottle! And three clean glasses.”

He looked up at Zoe, patting the spot next to him.

”Sit down, car girl.”

Zoe looked at Aria. She looked at Kai Vane. She looked at the tequila.

”I need a drink,” Zoe declared, her voice trembling.

She took a step toward the booth.

”Absolutely not,” Aria said, grabbing Zoe’s arm and yanking her back.

”But—” Zoe whimpered.

”No buts,” Aria said firmly, glaring at Kai. ”You are not sitting there. You are not drinking that. And you,” she pointed a finger at Kai, ”are staying right here. Alone.”

”Ouch,” Kai grinned, leaning back against the vinyl. ”You’re breaking my heart, Sister-in-law.”

”Good,” Aria snapped. ”Keep it broken.”

She tightened her grip on Zoe, who was looking back at Kai with tragic longing.

”Come on, Zoe. We are leaving this booth. We are going to find you a nice, boring man. An accountant. Or a dentist. Someone who drives a Volvo and calls his mother on Sundays.”

”But he drives a McLaren!” Zoe protested as Aria dragged her away.

”And the dentist has dental insurance!” Aria countered, marching her toward the other side of the room. ”Insurance is good!”

Kai watched them go, pouring himself a shot of tequila. He tipped his glass to Aria’s retreating back.

”Good luck with that,” he murmured to himself, downing the shot. ”But I think the car girl likes to have fun.”