Getting Warhammered [WH 40k Fanfic]

Zara still couldn’t believe it. It was impossible, something no Psyker alive today ever even dared to so much as dream of. The reality of that hit her once the stress faded away, leaving her just exhausted and staring up at the ceiling of her personal apartment. 

For the first time in her life, there were no whispers, no voices in her head beside her own, no monsters gnawing at the border of her mind, nibbling on her sanity. 

Her eyelids fell, and in the darkness of her mind, she found not endless horrors, but a world of radiance and calm. It felt like a warm, comforting hug, filled with the love of a mother she never knew. 

It was impossible, unbelievable. The Empyrean was a realm of endless horrors beyond comprehension, but now it was just … not. 

For the first time in her life, Zara fell asleep with a sigh of relief, leaving her lips, and no nightmares haunted her slumber. When she awoke, maybe twelve hours later, she felt refreshed in a way she never had before. Even the dark bags that had been an ever-present accessory of her eyes looked dimmer, and her skin had gone from being pale and gaunt to a modicum of healthiness.

A helpless sob escaped her, sending a shudder through her thin body as she stared into her own eyes in the mirror. Her fingers gripped the rim of the sink as relief crashed into her, the veritable tide of it having been held off for so long as she just numbly grappled with the realisation of what had happened for a day.

Lady Echidna saved her soul. 

Zara no longer had to fear the Ruinous Powers and their grasping claws, for they could no longer reach her. Madness and possession were no longer a fate she had to fight against day after day. 

Her soul would no longer become a snack if she somehow managed to get herself killed. 

She would have an afterlife in that realm of radiance and comfort. 

For the first time in her life, Zara didn’t dread dying. But that didn’t mean she wanted to die either. It was not fear of death that drove her now, but a depthless well of gratitude and shame. 

She didn’t deserve this. So many others, billions, fell prey to demons day after day. But she was glad. Call her callous, but watching others get ripped apart by Daemons didn’t hurt nearly as much as going through the same thing, she wagered. 

There was no test, no judgment, no nothing. They said in the Imperium that after death, every soul had to stand before the Golden Throne and be judged by the God-Emperor of Mankind. Those found worthy would join his golden halls.

Zara knew that was a myth. Sure, there were dubious accounts of Saints coming back from death … but there were a mere handful of them. A handful among quadrillions. 

Zara had personally seen hundreds meet their ends in the maw of daemons, reduced to nothing but a snack for those accursed beings. The Emperor and his promised afterlife were a lie. 

Yet, here she was, having been granted an afterlife without any judgment. In this realm, she could feel the Silver Lady, it was almost impossible not to feel her. Her soul was like a silvery star, serving as the star around which the entire realm revolved. 

And when Zara had been talking to her, she felt her attention, felt her emotions. There was no judgment there, just pity and kindness. 

The woman had seen how Zara suffered under the Inquisitor and took pity on her. That was it. Luck, and the pity of a being more powerful than the Emperor himself, because how could she not be, when the Emperor could not grant his promised afterlife while She could on a whim. That was what saved her from eternal damnation. 

Zara would be eternally grateful. She had no idea how to repay her. She had asked, but in that respect, the Silver Lady was of little help.

“Repayment?” She had asked, an alabaster eyebrow raised in amusement as a soft smile graced her lips. “I need no repayment, Zara dear. Enjoy your life. Find something to take joy in. It has been denied to you all your life, but it’s not too late. I didn’t do this to earn your gratitude or worship. I need neither. Just … try to have fun, alright?”

It only made Zara feel the need to repay her all the more. Was it guilt that drove her? Shame? Gratitude? She didn’t know it , but it was a pressing need. 

The Eldar  — Valenith helped her with stuff, didn’t he? He was a Psyker too, a powerful one. Was that the problem? Would Zara be of use if she were powerful too? She wanted to be, she … had to be.

Her teary eyes hardened in the mirror, resolve shining beneath them. For the first time in her life, she would do something not because she was ordered to, or out of fear, but of her own volition. 

How hard could it be to convince that uppity Eldar to teach her?

*****

I didn’t take much with me; I didn’t need to. I could make an army just with all the bio-energy sitting in my Avatar, and the ever-growing stash of it I have floating in my Realm. Still, that was not the impression I wanted to give to my jumpy Tau allies, especially since Coldstone, who’d somewhat grown used to the kind of nonsense I could bring about, was not the sole Ethereal in their armada.

As such, I built a single massive spaceship that would serve as the ‘carrier’ of the rest of my fleet. And Jeff, the second iteration of my Leviathan pet, of course. He was buzzing with excitement at the prospect of heading into battle and ‘avenging’ what he’d seen as a shameful demise in his first engagement. 

“It needs a suitably magnificent name,” I mused, running my hand over the armrest of the carrier’s command throne. “I wouldn’t bother otherwise, but I might have to keep this ship around for the sake of appearances, if nothing else. So! Any suggestions?”

“Agreed,” Selene said, standing straight as an arrow and looking absolutely ravishing in a white military uniform. Standing on the bridge of a ship apparently brought the military officer out of her again, as she reflexively defaulted to standing in parade rest. “I’ve never seen a ship this massive in the Imperium … perhaps only a Gloriana class battleship like the Macragge’s Honour could compare.”

“I made it to be just a hundred metres larger than that one, actually,” I informed her innocently.

“You can be so childish,” Selene said with a good-natured smile and a roll of her eyes.

“It’s one of my better traits.” I grinned, throwing myself sideways on the throne so my legs went over the armrest and I leaned back on the other, peering up at Selene from upside down. “Lightening the oppressively grim mood of this galaxy is my life’s mission, second only in importance to putting a smile on that pretty face of yours.”

She snorted, her smile turning softer, and I hummed happily at my victory, settling back into my ostentatious chair. With her guard down, Selene didn’t react in time, or didn’t bother resisting, when I telekinetically lifted her up and dumped her in my lap. 

She made an adorable little squeal, but didn’t resist as my arms wrapped around her slim waist. Quite likely, we’d have annoying blueys on board, or too much work to do in the near future for such public acts of affection, so I decided to enjoy the last few minutes. 

Even if that was also the reason for both of our lack of sleep the night before. 

Selene giggled, squirming in my grasp playfully before she settled down. She wrapped her arms around my own waist and nuzzled her face in the crook of my neck, her warm lips sending shudders down my spine as they brushed against my skin.

“So improper, Captain,” Selene whispered pitifully. “But what am I to do when you want to have your way with this unfortunate private?”

She really knew all the best words to say … unfortunately, she also knew that Coldstone and his friends were already on a shuttle heading our way, so I couldn’t actually act on my impulses for once, no matter how much I wanted to. The mean glint in her beautiful steel-grey eyes showed I was right.

The naughty minx wanted to punish me for ‘acting improper’ when she was in ‘officer mode’. 

“We still have about twenty minutes,” I purred into her ear, and felt her shudder in my grasp.

“You’re magicing away all evidence by the time they get here,” Selene demanded, sounding a bit breathless as she leaned back and stared into my eyes, hunger and desire shining bright in those pretty eyes of hers. 

“Deal!” I grinned, and that was all she needed to smash her lips against mine and start peeling off my own uniform. 

*****

Aun’Saal Kel’tau, better known as ‘Coldstone’ among the uncivilised masses who couldn’t speak the Tau language, found himself at a loss for words. 

Well, not quite. See, he had about a dozen curse words and swear words from various human, orkish and other languages that accurately described his current feelings, but the enlightened language of the T’au was … sterile, for the lack of a better word.

It had no curse words; it wasn’t made to swear and spout vile threats. 

For the first time in quite a while, Kel’tau once again felt quite annoyed at the lack of linguistic tools at his disposal. 

Because he really wanted to curse someone, or perhaps fate itself, at this moment.

“Yes, that’s a spaceship, honoured elder,” Kel’tau said, resisting the urge to massage the bridge of his nose to ward off the sudden onset of a headache. “I know it seems unbelievable, but might I remind you, I have repeatedly tried to convince you, and our august brethren in the Ethereal Council, of our newest ally’s capabilities.”

“That thing is alive, Aun’Saal!” Aun’vre Ay’ur, the eldest and one of the highest ranked among the Ethereals commanding this ‘crusade’ asked. He was three entire ranks above a lowly Aun’Saal. Above him stood only the Holy One, the Aun’el, who was the most enlightened among the ethereals of the Vek’Han Sept. “You’re telling us that is a single ship?”

“It is what I am suspecting based on prior evidence,” Kel’tau said, wishing dearly that they had sent someone else to oversee this crusade against the Imperial holdings of the region. He just knew Ay’ur would clash with Echidna sooner or later. Which, now that he thought about it, might have been the point of sending the most confrontational Ethereal who was most opposed to not properly incorporating the human psyker into the Tau Empire, by force, if necessary. They wanted to see how she’d react. The fools. “Her architecture is primarily organic in nature, as I’ve said in previous reports. It is facilitated by the artifact she’s melded with.”

“If that is true, and that Gue’la is capable of making such a thing in just a few months’ time, that’s all the more reason to eliminate the threat she poses or to properly get her under control!” The older Ethereal fumed, spinning to glare at Kel’tau. “How can such power be held in the hands of an unenlightened brute who doesn’t even bother to pay so much as lip service to the T’au’va! It’s unacceptable.”

“The Council has made its decision,” Kel’tau said mildly. “That course of action has been discarded by a majority vote, if you recall, elder. She is an honoured ally, per the Council’s ruling. I hope you will hold yourself to that decision when we meet her.”

Aun’ui Ko’vash, the last member of their Ethereal group present in the squadron of ships heading to meet up with their ally, gasped. When Kel’tau glanced over, he saw the ever-studious Ethereal stare transfixed at the displays of the onboard sensor suits.

“What a magnificent creature!” Ko’vash exclaimed, and Kel’tau once again had to suppress the thought that the man might have fit in more with the Earth caste scientists than with the other Aun. “To think such a massive creature could sustain itself in the void of space.”

“The Aun’Saal just said it’s an artificial organic construct, it doesn’t need to sustain itself,” Ay’ur said, glancing over at his fellow Aun, who shook his head. “Or what have you found?”

“Take a look, elder,” Ko’vash said with an excited glimmer in his eyes, gesturing at the sensors. “I am not speaking of the ship, but this magnificent specimen! I was of the mind that the Void Krakens were a mere myth, but then this beauty just shows up on our sensors. Hah! What good fortune.”

Kel’tau stepped behind the excitable man, peering down at the displays, and Ay’ur followed along with a huff of dissatisfaction. 

The optical sensors saw only the ridiculously colossal spaceship floating before them, and the same went for heat and radiation sensors.

But there was something out there. Something massive, swimming in the void of space like it was water, its massive body darkening the stars behind it. Laser sensors were worthless, the dark material covering the creature absorbed them wholesale without letting them reflect. 

“That’s one massive lifesign,” Kel’tau muttered, his eyes snapping over to the gravitational sensors. The ship, and this creature too, were so huge they were showing up as asteroids on that sensor. “And not as subdued as the one from the ship.”

“Because it is no mere organic architecture,” Ko’vash said. “It is a living animal. One with a mind of its own. How wonderful.”

As if the creature in question knew they were talking about it, it stilled for a moment, and then there was a shift. From the darkness of space, an opaque form shimmered into existence, coming first as the outline of a gigantic serpentine body, then came the details. The contours of its scales, the spikes on its back, the horns on its head and the eyes. A pair of slitted eyes that looked like nebulae in their vibrant, ever-shifting colours. 

For once, even Ay’ur seemed stumped, and Kel’tau breathed a tiny sigh of relief. Maybe that would drive home to his stone-headed elder comrade that aggravating their mysterious ally was not a smart move, or one that would be conducive to their continued well-being. 

There were few things that were a more obvious statement of power than having a massive space monster as a pet.