Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

”To Justify Homicide,

You must have no other choice,

To protect others’ safety.”

- Tabitha Diaz, Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Justified Homicide

The first Book of the Testament of Domains is that of Justified Homicide. This is not because it is Tabitha’s favored domain in any fashion. In fact, it is the one she is least enamored of, the one that causes her the most doubt in herself and, perhaps, her own Divinity. This is because it is, without doubt, her most dangerous Domain; not due to the inherent power it grants, but due to the potential lack of inherent restraints placed upon it.

In this, first Verse of this Book, Tabitha explains to us what it means for a Homicide to be Justified. Lest it be forgotten as time passes, despite the prejudices of some, Tabitha considers Homicide to include the deliberate killing of any Human, Human Adjacent, and other Sapient beings. To her, we are all co-equal, as one might expect of a Goddess of Egalitarianism.

Her first admonition to us, and in this what she does not say is as important as what she does, is that Homicide can only be Justified in defense of the life or well-being of others. Her choice to forgo inclusion of self-defense as Justification for Homicide confused me until I prayed unto my Goddess and received an answer which surprised me with its perspicacity. Protection of self is often the excuse of tyrants and murderers who seek to oppress others, and those are such anathema to her that she does not wish to give them any Justification at all for their actions.

- Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha

Y’know, I’m almost certain that Verse got edited. I don’t even know why, and I can’t go check my original copies. Because I gave them all away, and I’m pretty sure each of my ladies I gave them to hid them away like some kind of middle schooler hiding super special lovey dovey gift from their ’soulmate’. Which, to be honest, makes me feel all warm and gooey inside, because yeah, I feel that way about them too. Like, not about my notes. About my ladies. Who are, in any way that matters, my soul mates, each one in different ways.

Tallulah literally Worships me, but is absolutely on-the-spectrum dry about it, which lets her be my reality check. Siobhan is my Moral Compass when my Moral Compass has gone dry or isn’t spinning for some other reason. Marie is my source for agony and Ecstasy and every bit of lust for life and everything in it. Saffron... Saffron is my everything. All that and a bag of chips. Saffron... Always Saffron. I think the best part of all of them, the part I’ll never fuckin’ understand even when I’m feeling it too for each of them, is how each of them, starting with Saffron, looks at my connection to the others and sees it as just as special and valid as my connection to them. Then again, like I said, I see the way they’re connecting, entirely separate from me, and I love every little bit of it.

I just sometimes wish I knew if that was because I love the web of love around me, or because I worry about something happening to me, and want to be sure they each have others to support them if something does. Shit, when something does, because for fuck’s sake, I can’t fuckin’ go more than a Season without some dumb shit taking me out of action for a week or more. Seriously, even last Season, when the worst physical impact anything had on me was the equivalent of running a marathon with heavy body weights on, meaning I ached for a few days afterward, I still wound up spending... Fuck, I don’t even really know. Four days off in some fucked up kind of time space continuum fuckery? Five? Six? Shit, like I said, I’ve got no idea, but I still wasn’t here for them.

Honestly, it’s also kinda handy for when shit goes down like our new kittens deciding that Mama Tabitha’s Milk is Best Milk. Fuck, I can’t even put that on them; it’s Marie who’s doing it, and once it got explained to me that as the lactating Primordial, my milk literally was better for them, I can’t even get all pissy about it.

Not like I would, as a general rule. I’ve mentioned once or twice that I missed breast feeding Isnomi when she grew out of it. So it’s not so much the act itself that’s bothering me. No, not ’bothering me’. Because that’s not it. It’s eight of the little buggers taking turns attempting to drain my boobs dry, while my ladies and even my girls are taking turns stuffing food into me. At this point I’m practically a dedicated milk making machine. Kinda sorta wish I could maybe do this once a week or something. No idea how long it’s gonna be before these little buggers are weaned, but right now this is the breast feeding equivalent of my congregation singing my Doctrine to me all night long. The living incarnation of ’be careful what you wish for’.

So yesterday wound up being good at least in the ’I get Drivers’ food all day long’ sense. Also, Mrs. Driver gave Marie and I some tips about fuzzy butts, tails, and diapers. The very short version of all of it is that I’m very glad we have a water closet and semi-modern showers at the Homestead. Apparently Bill was kinda hirsute as a baby, and lost almost all of it when he hit puberty. Weird, but it’s not like I didn’t know dudes who started balding the moment the testosterone hit. Of course that left me wondering if our kittens are gonna wind up fully fuzzy like Marie, or mostly non-fuzzy like me, or somewhere in between, like Mama Driver herself.

Yeah, I’ve never actually seen Mrs. Driver sans clothes before, but that is now no longer something I can honestly say.

Of course, before Bath time, before Dinner time, even, Isnomi of all people came up and said, ”Mama?”

I hadn’t really gotten rested since, like, a day before Marie’s labor started, but I’d sort of gotten used to the level of tired I’d hovered at for the past day. ”What’s up, Menace?”

”Diana athked me to wemind you aboud tonide.”

I blinked. First I wondered how Isnomi wound up being a messenger for Diana. Then I remembered, my little Menace had forcibly made a fuckin’ Moon Goddess into her High Priestess, which put a more or less permanent hotline between them. Then I wondered what Diana was talking about. I had no idea why she’d be asking me about tonight, but the moment I opened my mouth to ask, Marie said, ”New Moon.”

”Ah, shit.” I remembered that my precocious tot had also press-ganged Marie into being her High Priestess as well. Which probably meant she could catch Diana-to-Isnomi messages if she listened hard enough or something. ”Uh, Isnomi, could you do Mama a favor?”

”Yeth!”

”Could you let Diana know that I’m kinda exhausted, what with the kittens and the breastfeeding and the lack of sleep?”

”Ah tay, Mama.” She got a kind of little kid serious constipation look on her face. A moment later I had to stifle my laughter, because from my angle it looked like my little Menace had moonbeams shooting out her ass.

”Please forgive the intrusion, Matriarch, but did your daughter... oh, sweet Sappho how did you manage to...” She shook her head and... okay, I’d now seen two towering women go baby goofy in as many days. She kind of scooched over and knelt down next to the bed. ”Never mind. They’re so precious.” She reached out one hesitant hand. ”May I?”

I think I rolled my eyes a little, mostly at seeing the normally aloof Diana go all gooey. ”Didn’t take you for being susceptible to Baby Madness,” I lifted Hailee off the tit; she’d stopped suckling hard and started snoozing equally hard a few moments before Diana’s arrival. ”But sure.” I might have had some extra tentacles hovering under Hailee as I handed her over, but that was more me not quite trusting my hands than any kind of distrust of Diana.

She cradled my daughter in one big palm, gently rubbing at her with the other. ”Oh, I’ve no real intention of having any of my own. The processes of pregnancy and birth seem unpleasant, and the accoutrements for becoming pregnant are even less to my tastes than that.” She turned a speculative eye on Siobhan, who lay propped up on some pillows, with Isadora lying face down covering most of her torso while Siobhan ran a comb through her hair. Fur. Mostly fur, although each of the kittens had the tiniest bit of a mane already. I couldn’t really remember if they’d ejected with that much on top of their heads, or if they were just growing it like mad cats, but the existence of said proto-mops was undeniable.

”I’m afraid that’s one part of the process which we’ve been unable to work around, Lady.” Saffron slipped up behind Marie and accepted a snoozing Erato. One definite improvement Mrs. Driver had suggested had been letting the girls or the ladies or Mama Driver herself hold the sleeping kittens, leaving Marie and I with just the milk guzzling awake ones to deal with. Of course right then Maze knee-crawled across the bed to bring Anise back to me, the kitten squirming and seeking around with her mouth, looking for something tit-like to latch on to.

Once I got her in position, I turned back to Diana. ”Sorry, but I’m not up for a Revel tonight. Probably not gonna be up for one tomorrow night, either.” I yawned, then followed that with, ”need to...” another yawn. ”Tell Karen.”

”I already have, love.” Saffron gently informed me. ”You know, I’m aware of your feelings on the matter, but nursing is not technically an activity.”

”Huh?”

”You and Marie could nap and let the rest of us watch over them, swapping them out as needed.”

I blinked. Thought about it. Woke myself up snoring. ”Yeah, um... Bath? First?”

”You could nap in the Bath if you like, love.”

I frowned. ”Babies?”

”Have already been drown proofed, love.”

I smiled blearily at her. ”Okay. Uh... carry?”

Turned out that while Saffron had the physical strength to carry me or Marie upstairs, she didn’t have the arm length to do so while either of us were cradling two kittens each. Which is how I wound up getting princess carried to the Bath by Mrs. Driver after dinner. Diana did the same for Marie. I’m not fully certain, but I think we had Diana and Mrs. Driver both in our Bath for way longer than normal Bath time. I’m also certain that we’re gonna need to drain the Bath at some point and clean milk dribbles out of it.

Of course, midway through the night, as those of us not pregnant or nursing gossiped and cooed over the babies, I remembered. Uh, Dad?

Yes, Daughter?

You guys coming over when?

Whenever you’re ready for us, Tabitha.

I think I fell asleep a bit at that point. Definite Maw dreams. Short ones. Blinked myself awake as Alex swapped Borysthenis onto my tit and floated Calliope off. Uh, not up to hostessing, but if you’re down for... uh... C’mon over.

A few moments later I heard yet another Baby Fever Squeal, followed by Dad saying, ”pardon, dear wife of mine, but the custom of the house is to shower before entering the Bath.”

”Husband?”

”Yes, wife?”

”Stand aside.”

Couldn’t help chuckling at the combination of resignation and terror in Dad’s voice when he replied. ”Yes, dear.”