Cleaver Of Sin

Chapter 918: Suicide Note

Asher stood in silence as he stared at the space where Thalric had just teleported away from, completely stunned by everything that had just transpired. Yes, he had been wondering what Thalric was doing in this room, but he could never have guessed that the boy had come merely to apologize for what he had done two years ago, carrying that burden of guilt for a whole year and half.

Asher sat on his bed as his mind replayed everything Thalric had said. His thoughts continuously replayed the scene of Thalric crying and being consumed by guilt, every expression and every trembling word lingering vividly within his mind. He stared at the mirror ahead, utterly lost in thought.

Honestly, although Thalric had torn a teleportation scroll and vanished, Asher felt that it was the best outcome. After all, he wouldn’t have known how to respond to Thalric’s heartfelt words and sincere confession.

Ethan knew that even if the original Asher were here, witnessing what Thalric had done, he would have forgiven Thalric on the spot. Ethan didn’t hold any grudge or hatred toward Thalric simply because the abuse that had been suffered wasn’t inherited by him. Yes, he had the memories, and he remembered the emotions attached to them, but they weren’t his. They were simply just that; memories.

‘I hope you are able to find peace wherever you are,’ Ethan thought to himself, his mind focusing on the deceased original Asher.

He remembered the suicide letter the original Asher had written at the time. He remembered immediately throwing it into the trash can without bothering to read it, as he already remembered its contents.

—

To Father… my brothers and sisters… and anyone else who may read this.

I tried… I truly did.

But no matter how many times I reached forward, I could never become a son our family deserved. Every failed Awakening only reminded me that I was born as the flaw in the Wargrave bloodline, the shame that should never have carried our name.

Perhaps I deserve the disappointment, the whispers, the neglect, and the hatred. I have done nothing but burden this family and tarnish the legacy our ancestors built. For that… I am sorry.

I know many will call this cowardice. Maybe they’re right. But I no longer have the strength to wake up each day knowing that my existence brings nothing but disgrace. If my absence allows all of you to live without the burden of my failures, and if my death can restore even a fraction of the honor I have stolen from our family, then it is the only thing of value I have left to give.

Father… I am sorry for being the son who could never make you proud. To my brothers and sisters… I am sorry for forcing you to share blood with someone like me.

If there is another life, I pray I am born into this family once more. Perhaps then I will become a son worthy of the Wargrave name. Until that day… I can only hope that you will forgive me.

I’m sorry… for everything… for the alcohol… for the letdown… I… I’m… sorry.

Your disgraceful Dim Sun, Asher Wargrave.

—

Ethan sat as he read through the contents of the original Asher’s suicide note through his inherited memories. When he, Ethan, had reincarnated into Crymora, he didn’t judge the original Asher. After all, everyone’s circumstances were different. He could even remember the stains of dried tears on the suicide note, silent evidence that the original Asher had cried as he wrote every word of the letter.

Being born into such a bloodline was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing if you could step up and achieve what the family considered the bare minimum, which was reaching the Soulstar or Crownstar Life Rank. A curse if you weren’t able to live up to their ridiculous standards. After all, such was the pedestal of the Wargrave Bloodline, the immense weight of the crown that accompanied its name.

And the original Asher had been crushed beneath that weight.

Asher… or rather, Ethan, knew one thing for certain: without the System, he would have remained unawakened just like the original Asher. Yes, he had believed he would awaken, but that belief had simply stemmed from the reincarnation and transmigration tropes he had read in many novels. They always followed that path, so he naturally assumed his own story would hardly be any different.

So, without the System aiding him in awakening at the very last moment during his third Awakening, he would have been nothing more than a painfully average guy with a really good memory. And what could perfect memories do here? Literally nothing. There was nothing like spell circles or magical formulas to comprehend through accumulated knowledge and the like. In this world, power came from Awakening, not remembrance or indepth studying.

‘How will they react if they knew the original Asher had died?’ Ethan thought to himself as he remained seated on his bed.

He knew the most crushed person was definitely going to be Malrik Wargrave, the First Sun, who was obsessed with protecting his siblings from outsiders, yet couldn’t save the one who had quietly died.

Yes, Solaris, Malrik’s katana, possessed the ability to sense when his loved ones were about to be in grave danger, as well as the ability to teleport Malrik directly to their location. But alas, even this ability had its own flaw, as it couldn’t sense self-harm. Hence, the original Asher’s suicide had completely bypassed Solaris’ ability.

But even Malrik himself knew nothing of this limitation. After all, he would never imagine that any of his siblings would ever entertain the thought of suicide.

Ethan sighed, silently thanking the stars that nothing could read his memories or mind, because if he were ever discovered, Azaron would be the least of his worries.

Ethan dropped onto his bed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. He had come here intending to sleep because he was mentally exhausted, but now that exhaustion seemed to vanish beneath the weight of the moment. He closed his eyes for a moment in thought as he simply lay there, entertaining the possibility that maybe the original Asher had awakened in his Ethan body instead, almost like some bizarre soul-swapping phenomenon.

Ethan sighed as he shifted back into a sitting position, wondering what was wrong with everyone today. Earlier, it had been Acker kneeling before him, talking about some Cleaver of Sin Hero and a Hero Party, and now it was Thalric kneeling before him, asking for forgiveness.

But he couldn’t help wondering if Acker’s words were true, or even held a sliver of truth. After all, the guy had summoned Buddha. But… if that were true, wouldn’t that mean Buddha had somehow been behind his transmigration?

‘I must be going crazy,’ Ethan thought as he shook his head.

“Sigh… I’ve experienced enough for one day,” he murmured to himself as he rose from his bed and walked toward the enormous window Thalric had been looking through earlier.

‘Since I’m no longer sleepy, I should find something else to do,’ he thought to himself as he gazed at the people of the Thalvorn Empire who were still gathered in front of the Gentle Hotel, their numbers easily surpassing the thousands as the crowd continued to linger without any sign of dispersing.