I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

Lu Yibei dropped weakly to her knees. Only by bracing herself with both hands did she keep from collapsing altogether. Beads of sweat rolled from her fair forehead and pooled on the ground.

She stared blankly at the floor. Rings of dark, bubble-like shadows spread and churned across her vision. Her pale lips trembled, and every labored breath rasped like a broken bellows.

With every breath came the faint, illusory tang of iron, lingering in her nose.

From a distance, she looked like an old dog with only half a life left in it.

Two hours. Two hundred and forty-seven deaths with the pain dialed up, averaging less than thirty seconds apiece…

Lu Yibei had finally learned that even a haunting had its limits!

Seeing her in such a miserable state, Qing Ji’s heart softened. He sighed soundlessly, walked over, and patted her on the shoulder. “All right, that’s enough. Now tell me exactly what happened.”

His anger had faded long ago. He really should have stopped much sooner.

But…

Tormenting someone felt good in the moment, and it kept feeling good the longer it went on. He had gotten carried away without realizing it.Is it finally… over? Lu Yibei slowly raised her head toward Qing Ji, lips parted, yet for a long while she could not form a complete sentence.

As it turned out, there was indeed a way to silence a human-shaped, self-propelled chatterbox: beat her until she could no longer speak.

Of course, if you could neither outtalk nor overpower her, all the joy would be hers, while the suffering would be yours alone.

A long while passed.

Once Lu Yibei had recovered somewhat, she began recounting her experiences.

“Ancestor, I really didn’t mean to deceive you. This is what happened…”

She began with how she had nearly become a sacrifice for Ms. Rabbit’s advancement and had been forced to swallow The Witch’s Egg to save her life. Then she told him how, after becoming a haunting, she had faced the ravenous hunger of a newborn haunting and struggled to survive between the Hua City branch of The Midnight Watchers Society and the city’s many hauntings…

“Wait!” Qing Ji interrupted. “This Ms. Rabbit doesn’t sound particularly powerful. You couldn’t even defeat her? You nearly became her sacrifice? Just what did your father teach you?”

For a moment, Qing Ji nearly placed Lu Yibei squarely in the category of family disgrace.

How damn embarrassing!

The strength of hauntings had not been classified as clearly in Qing Ji’s era as it was now, but Lu Yibei’s account had conveyed one thing loud and clear: Ms. Rabbit was weak!

My son Yuebo could have defeated a haunting at that level when he was ten! After making the comparison in his head, Qing Ji reached that conclusion.

“My dad…” Lu Yibei frowned, a complicated look flashing through her eyes. “He never taught me anything about psychic energy. As for why, I still don’t have a definite answer.”

After a pause, she added, “In fact, until a year and a half ago, I thought he was an ordinary man whose life wasn’t going particularly well. I thought he was barely getting by, running the restaurant passed down through our family.”

Lu Yibei sincerely believed that her father was a great man, a solid wall that had sheltered her from the storms of life for more than a decade. She also sincerely believed that his own life had been rather miserable.

The family restaurant? Qing Ji froze, and an inexplicable shadow fell across his eyes.

At the mention of that restaurant, something stirred in his mind. It was as though an important memory was about to be reeled to the surface, only for the line to snap at the last moment, leaving nothing but ripples behind.

Noticing the change in his expression, Lu Yibei asked softly, “Ancestor, is something wrong?”

Qing Ji collected himself, looked at her, and raised an eyebrow. “It’s nothing. Go on…”

“Okay.” Lu Yibei nodded thoughtfully and resumed her story.

And so, her past flowed slowly before Qing Ji like a winding stream…

When she reached the part where she had stumbled upon the hilt of the Pure Lotus Sword and used it to reforge the Broken Sword, Qing Ji could not help interrupting once more. “So you concealed your identity because you were afraid I might harm you?”

“That’s right!” Lu Yibei answered without hesitation. “I’d never seen a talking broken sword before!”

“What if the thing hidden inside it hadn’t been a noble, righteous, discerning elder like you, someone entirely above vulgar interests? Wouldn’t revealing my identity carelessly have put me in danger?”

“Besides, the world is such a mess these days. Who goes out and about without a few aliases?”

Mine just happen to be a little more numerous than most… Lu Yibei added inwardly.

“Aliases?” Qing Ji looked confused.

“Nicknames. Who in their right mind uses their real name while roaming the martial world? You know how it is, don’t you?” Lu Yibei explained.

Qing Ji nodded in understanding.

More than half the things Lu Yibei had done were little different from banditry.

And what bandit went out to rob someone without a fearsome nickname?

Back in his day, Qing Ji had done the same whenever he robbed the rich to aid the poor—or met a beautiful confidante in secret.

“Continue.”

To Qing Ji, Lu Yibei’s experiences after becoming a haunting were even duller than a third-rate scholar’s storybook.

But he had not yet heard what he wanted to hear, so he decided to keep listening.

————

At last, Lu Yibei finished her account. Qing Ji’s expression, however, darkened.

“What else? Is that all?” he demanded.

“That’s all.” Lu Yibei spread her hands, expressionless.

What else could there be? Aside from the PL girl, I’ve told him everything!

The PL girl did kill the Ancestor once, but that happened so many volumes ago. He can’t still be holding a grudge, can he?

Or is it about the Pure Lotus Sword fragment shattering?

At that thought, Lu Yibei studied Qing Ji’s expression furtively and ventured, “Ancestor, you can’t blame me entirely for the Pure Lotus Sword fragment breaking. Huá Sāng was the one holding it. Surely she should take at least ninety percent of the blame?”

“Nonsense! How could a fragment of the Pure Lotus Sword possibly shatter?” Qing Ji snapped. “If it really broke, then it must have been a fake!”

A fake? Then where is the real one? Could it still be at the Great Pure Palace? I should ask that old man Zhang Huainan about it later, Lu Yibei thought.

Qing Ji suddenly shot to his feet and pointed at her nose, anger flickering across his face. “What about your fiancées? What’s the story with Gu Qianqian? What about Huá Sāng? Are there any other fiancées I should know about?”

“You rambled on about every irrelevant thing under the sun, but didn’t say a single word about the most important part!”

“Hmph! Jade left uncarved never becomes a useful vessel, and a person left unbeaten never tells the truth. It seems I didn’t train you thoroughly enough just now!”

When Qing Ji raised his sword, Lu Yibei’s eyelids twitched. She scrambled backward on all fours and cried out, “No, no! Ancestor, don’t!”

“All I know is that Gu Qianqian was something my dad arranged without asking me. I have no idea what’s going on with Huá Sāng, let alone any other fiancées! Even if you beat me another hundred times, I still won’t have an explanation!”

“If you can’t explain it, can’t you at least say what you want?” Qing Ji brandished the sword and boomed, “You have to make a choice!”

“But…” Lu Yibei said bitterly, “Ancestor, I really can’t choose!”

“You can’t?” Qing Ji’s face sank. With a slight tremor of his wrist, a dragon’s chant rang from the sword in his hand. Cold light rippled along its blade, and his aura surged so violently that the air around him warped.

The next instant, the sword was resting against Lu Yibei’s neck.

Lu Yibei: “!!!”

She could clearly feel the savage sword energy held in check along its edge. Even the faintest brush against her skin brought a prickling pain like needles.

Yet Qing Ji merely held the blade there without making another move.

It seemed to be nothing more than an exceedingly persuasive threat.

“My great-grand… daughter! Look at me. I’m nothing but a wisp of a remnant soul now. I could vanish at any moment. Before that happens, could you grant me one wish?”

Lu Yibei looked at the sword against her neck, then at Qing Ji. “W-what wish?” she asked meekly.

“I was in poor health when I was young and did not live many years. When I departed this world, my son Yuebo had yet to marry, let alone have children…” Deep sorrow filled Qing Ji’s eyes as he spoke.

“My greatest regret is that I never saw my son Yuebo marry and become a father. Before I disappear, could you make up for that regret, if only a little?”

Lu Yibei considered the request, then answered earnestly, “Ancestor, I’m afraid that would be very difficult!”

“To be honest, I don’t even know where my great-grandfather was buried, let alone how I could let you see him marry and have children.”

Even if I did know where he was buried, I wouldn’t lose my mind, dig up my own ancestral grave, and arrange a ghost marriage for my great-grandfather, would I?

Digging my own grave is already absurd enough… Lu Yibei thought.

Does she truly not understand, or is she pretending? Qing Ji’s mouth twitched. He switched the sword to his other hand and pressed it more firmly against her neck, until the blade nearly cut into her flesh.

“Watching you marry and have children would also count.”

Lu Yibei fell silent.

I get it! Is this the legendary marriage pressure from one’s elders?

But pressuring someone to marry with a sword at her throat was a little too hardcore, wasn’t it?

Lu Yibei had never imagined that an elder would begin pressuring her to marry at the tender age of nineteen, much less like this.

Looking at Qing Ji’s sword and recalling the two hundred and forty-seven deaths she had just suffered, her heart lurched. She hurriedly explained, “It’s not that I can’t choose. I don’t want to choose any of them. I already have someone I love…”

Qing Ji froze. Then his expression transformed at astonishing speed. A suggestive grin spread across his face as he lowered his sword, leaned close to Lu Yibei, and waggled his eyebrows. “Who is it? Who? Tell me!”

His expression was exactly that of a terrible friend who had just learned you had a crush, overflowing with shameless curiosity and a thirst for gossip.

Under Qing Ji’s stare, Lu Yibei was like an innocent young man being teased. A blush crept across her cheeks, and she stammered for ages without producing a proper sentence.

Most people in Country Z had always been both skilled and terribly unskilled at expressing their affection for someone. Even merely mentioning it aloud could make them shy.

Tormentor of Hua City: weakness +1.

Lu Yibei did not know whether women slowed the speed at which she drew her sword, but one certainly slowed the speed at which she spoke.

When Lu Yibei still failed to say anything after a long while, Qing Ji studied her, analyzed the situation calmly, pondered it briefly, and made a bold guess. The shocking conclusion changed his expression at once.

“Wait! You haven’t fallen for some young man, have you?”

Lu Yibei: “???”

I’m stunned. What did I do to make you reach that conclusion?

“Well…” Qing Ji looked her over again. “I don’t particularly care whether I watch my great-grandson bring home a bride or see my great-granddaughter married off. As the old saying goes, when a woman pursues a man, only a veil stands between them. Be a little more proactive!”

“If that doesn’t work, put a gu on him. Besides the Inverse-Form Evil Blossom Gu I learned from the Gu Mistress of Miao territory, I also learned the Three Lives, Three Worlds Heart-Linking Gu.”

What kind of heretical nonsense is all this? Lu Yibei held her forehead and explained, “Ancestor, you’ve misunderstood. The person I love isn’t a man. She’s a woman.”

“Oh? What’s her name?”

“Her name is…” Lu Yibei hesitated, then gritted her teeth. “Bai Xiaohua.”

She truly could not bring herself to say the name Jiang Li aloud. It was too embarrassing.

Besides, Qing Ji was already pressuring her to marry at swordpoint. Heaven only knew what ridiculous thing he might do if he learned of Jiang Li’s existence. What if he frightened the poor girl?

In any case, when I really do get married and have children, the Ancestor will definitely be the first I tell! Lu Yibei thought.

Qing Ji eyed her suspiciously. “Bai Xiaohua? How old is she? Where does she live?”

“She’s eighteen and lives in Hero City.”

Lu Yibei answered smoothly without the slightest pause, and Qing Ji’s brow relaxed. “What is her personality like?”

“She’s a little fiery and always acts fierce, but she’s actually a tsundere. Um, I mean, she’s the sharp-tongued but soft-hearted type…” Lu Yibei answered without hesitation.

She knew Bai Xiaohua’s details so well that she remembered them better than any passage she had ever memorized for school.

After answering Qing Ji’s question, she thoughtfully added Bai Xiaohua’s height and weight, favorite foods, catchphrases, and more. Combined with the peach blossoms that seemed to bloom in her eyes whenever she thought of Bai Xiaohua, it could almost make someone believe…

No, wait. Bai Xiaohua really is my wife! Lu Yibei thought.

“Sharp-tongued but soft-hearted?” Qing Ji frowned and muttered, “I never expected you to fall for that sort of girl too…”

“Too?” Lu Yibei tilted her head.

“It-it’s nothing.” Embarrassment and panic flashed through Qing Ji’s eyes. As though terrified that Lu Yibei would press the issue, he hurriedly changed the subject. “Speaking of which, when will you bring Miss Bai to meet me?”

“We’ll talk about that later! Right now, I want to know why you said ‘too’!” Lu Yibei pressed.

You want me to bad-mouth little Yanzhi? I wouldn’t dare… Qing Ji’s mouth twitched. He changed the subject again. “Would you like to learn the new technique I used just now? I can teach it to you today.”

“Yes!” Lu Yibei blurted out.

“Then… are… you… ready…?”

As Qing Ji spoke that final sentence, his voice abruptly slowed, as if time itself had stretched. A moment later, Lu Yibei’s vision blurred.

Then…

She saw a bewitching, colorless flower quietly blossom in Qing Ji’s palm…

————

Elsewhere, just as Lu Yibei officially began learning Qing Ji’s new technique and once again entered punching-bag mode, the attendant at the gaming cafe stared at the surveillance feed in utter panic.

On the screen, Lu Yibei lay sprawled on the sofa in her private room, eyes shut tight. Her body convulsed without end, and froth poured from her mouth.

What happened to not dropping dead? The attendant swallowed, silently took out his phone, and called an ambulance…