I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

Zhang Huainan’s original intention had merely been to ask Lu Yibei to help “guard the mountain and protect the palace.”

It was not yet convenient to reveal Lu Yibei’s identity as Calamity in public.

But judging by the intelligence gathered by The Midnight Watchers Society and his performance the previous night, his current strength ranked among the best even within the Great Pure Palace, where talent abounded. Perhaps only a handful of elders who had been psychics for many years could surpass him.

If the Esoteric Society members truly seized the opportunity to sow chaos in the Great Pure Palace while Zhang Huainan dealt with the haunting behind their organization, Lu Yibei would be a powerful combatant who could provide genuine assistance.

When Lu Yibei bolted toward the breakfast shop’s exit in a panic, Zhang Huainan initially could not understand why he was so agitated—or how he had somehow connected this request to becoming a Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast.

How could a perfectly normal person become a Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast?

Making a living person squat in front of the mountain gate beside Shuishu Shou, the Water Savage Beast, would be utterly improper!

He had to admit that, despite all the years he had lived, he had never once managed to follow the thought process of this family—whether it was Qing Ji, Lu Bayi, or now Lu Yibei.

Before Zhang Huainan could connect Lu Yibei’s secret identity as a haunting, the Water Savage Beast guarding the Great Pure Palace’s gate, and the abandoned plan from years ago to recruit a haunting, something even more incomprehensible occurred.

Lu Yibei, who had seemed utterly terrified only moments ago, came back on his own. He sat down expressionlessly and picked up the bowl of plain congee.Weren’t you running for your life just now? Why did you come back by yourself? Zhang Huainan looked at him with confusion in his eyes.

Lu Yibei polished off the congee in a few gulps, wiped his mouth, and said, “I thought about it. I suppose it isn’t completely impossible, but I have a few conditions…”

Although that inhuman old bastard Zhang Huainan actually intended to force a young and beautiful haunting to sell its charms for business, a certain young and beautiful haunting had thought it over carefully. This time, he probably could not get away even if he tried.

The old man could drag out even the well-hidden Pink Fluffy Bunny. What chance did little Calamity have?

Since escape was impossible, he might as well lie back and enjoy it!

Taking the initiative was at least more dignified than being dragged back and fitted with a collar.

A Mountain-Guarding Divine Beast ought to receive benefits, and probably excellent ones at that… If you want me to be a “stone lion” at your gate, don’t blame this lion for naming an outrageous price! Lu Yibei thought slyly.

“Conditions?” Zhang Huainan pondered for two seconds, then smiled and stroked his beard. “Since I am asking for your help, I naturally will not make you work for nothing. However… you must first tell me what your conditions are.”

The same thing had happened before with both Lu Yuebo and Lu Ming. Zhang Huainan had fallen for it twice and absolutely refused to stumble in the same place a third time.

I knew this old thing wouldn’t be so easy to negotiate with… Lu Yibei grumbled inwardly. He cleared his throat. “You have to appoint me acting Headmaster and place every affair of the Great Pure Palace under my authority. No one may object to anything I do. Otherwise, they’ll be treated as traitors to the sect…”

“Hm?” Zhang Huainan’s expression immediately changed, and he frowned.

When the Wordless Book’s investigation revealed that Lu Yibei was Calamity, Zhang Huainan had already understood why Lu Yibei might cause a situation in the Great Pure Palace where yin flourished and yang declined. He had not expected the boy to be so direct about it.

Good grief. He was much bolder than Lu Yuebo and Lu Ming!

Of those two boys, one had dared ask only for the Founding Patriarch’s sword, while the other had dared ask only for the right to use Zi Xiao Terrace. Yet this one wanted the entire Great Pure Palace from the very beginning?

What did it mean for the student to surpass the master? This was it, Zhang Huainan thought.

“Uh, is that request a little excessive?” Lu Yibei asked tentatively.

“What do you think?” Zhang Huainan replied, his expression perfectly calm.

Lu Yibei: “…”

I know it’s excessive. That’s the point! Lu Xun said it best: the temperament of the people of Country Z has always favored compromise and moderation…

If I start with an outrageous condition that could never possibly be accepted, won’t the less excessive demands afterward sound much easier to agree to?

Now comes the moment to reveal my true intentions! Lu Yibei thought.

But just as he believed his goal had been achieved and prepared to “lower his standards” while demanding benefits, something completely unexpected happened.

“I find your condition perfectly reasonable!” Zhang Huainan nodded. After searching inside his robes, he placed a yin-yang fish pendant carved from fine jade on the table. “This is my pendant. It has accompanied me for more than sixty years. Take it. Within the Great Pure Palace, seeing this pendant is the same as seeing me.”

Zhang Huainan might occasionally fail to follow the Lu Family’s train of thought, but he was intimately familiar with their tricks.

This old man will give it to you—but do you dare take it?

Don’t think I can’t see through that little scheme of yours. Your great-grandfather and your father already exhausted that trick!

Lu Yibei had never imagined Zhang Huainan would truly agree to such an outrageous request.

It felt as though he had stormed into a museum intending to rob only the day’s ticket revenue, only for the curator to hand over all the museum’s crown jewels.

The pendant on the table was crystal clear, with faint light flowing through it. Two fish, one blue and one white, seemed to swim within the jade.

Lu Yibei stared at it, brows tightly furrowed as he sank into thought.

Could this be some kind of trap?

Would taking the pendant bind him to the Great Pure Palace forever until he found some other scapegoat to replace him?

In any case, the old man had agreed far too readily. There had to be some filthy secret behind it!

Lu Yibei looked across the table at Zhang Huainan, who sat there with narrowed eyes and an enigmatic smile, then forced out two dry laughs. “Ha. Ha. I was joking. Just joking. How would I dare govern the Great Pure Palace? Even if I did, the elders would never accept it, right?”

Zhang Huainan: “…”

I knew you wouldn’t dare take it, brat…

If you really had, you would’ve stayed obediently in the Great Pure Palace and cultivated for the next eight or ten years!

Lu Yibei had guessed correctly. Although Zhang Huainan had been fairly certain the boy would not dare accept the pendant, he had prepared for both possibilities.

What if Lu Yibei truly found the courage to take it?

There was indeed a trick hidden in the yin-yang fish pendant. The moment he accepted it, the concealed contract would take effect, making him equivalent to a formal disciple of the Great Pure Palace. Until Zhang Huainan acknowledged that he had completed his training, he would never be able to descend the mountain again.

And under the contract, graduation required reaching the standard of an acting Headmaster.

“You’re the one who said you didn’t want it!” Zhang Huainan picked up the pendant and waved it before Lu Yibei’s eyes. “I’ll give you one more chance.”

Lu Yibei shook his head like a rattle drum.

No. He didn’t want it. He didn’t dare.

Zhang Huainan tucked the pendant back into his robes and sat upright. “In that case, tell me your other conditions.”

“…” Having his little ploy dismantled so easily left Lu Yibei feeling thoroughly outmaneuvered. He held back for a long moment, then tentatively asked, “Could I have a Visualized Diagram? Preferably one related to giants.”

That would give him an opportunity to truly convert the Hundred-Armed Giant’s power within him into power of his own.

“Certainly.” Zhang Huainan nodded. “The Great Pure Palace possesses a copy of the Quanrong Hunting Expedition Visualization. I can retrieve it and lend it to you.”

What does the boy need a Visualized Diagram for? To suppress the core entity of the haunting within him? That is indeed a viable method, Zhang Huainan thought.

With his first condition accepted, Lu Yibei gained some confidence and continued, “Then… could I also ask for several blueprints for psychic artifacts and Alchemical potions? They don’t need to be high-tier. Low-tier ones are fine as long as they’re practical.”

Even low-tier designs could be modified later and paired with his “sea of Paper Cicada Immortals.” They would still pack considerable power.

Hadn’t the alchemical dirty bomb begun as a crudely made psychic artifact too?

Now, as long as the yield was high enough, it could even harm a Class A Psychic, Lu Yibei thought.

This boy causes trouble outside all day. Wanting a few practical psychic artifacts for self-defense is perfectly reasonable… Zhang Huainan agreed again. “No problem. Anything else?”

After Zhang Huainan accepted two conditions in succession, Lu Yibei gradually grew bolder. He looked at the old man and pondered for several seconds before saying with utter seriousness, “There is one more extremely important matter…”

“Oh?” Zhang Huainan raised an eyebrow. “Let’s hear it.”

Lu Yibei secretly studied him for a moment, then asked weakly, “Senior, as a grandmaster of your generation, Headmaster of the Great Pure Palace, guardian of The Midnight Watchers Society, strongest psychic of the age, and an immortal of noble bearing, you wouldn’t go back on your word, would you?”

“Get to the point and stop flattering this old man!”

He knew all these tricks. Flattery meant the brat was about to cause trouble.

“Then I’m going to say it! You’re not allowed to get angry afterward.”

“Say it, say it!” Zhang Huainan waved impatiently.

I dared place the pendant symbolizing the Headmaster’s authority in front of you and invite you to take it. What could possibly make me angry? Zhang Huainan thought.

“I want to watch you eat watermelon.”

Lu Yibei had originally wanted to demand a fragment of the Pure Lotus Sword, but the night before, he had watched one shatter with his own eyes. To compensate for the loss, he would have to settle for watching the old man put on a watermelon-eating show.

Even after learning that the old watermelon vendor was the Dark Emperor, Lu Yibei still desperately wanted to see him eat one.

Just imagining the scene was hilarious!

“Huh?” Zhang Huainan froze.

“I said I want to watch you eat watermelon!” Thinking Zhang Huainan had not heard clearly, Lu Yibei repeated himself. “You said that if the watermelons you sold me were unripe, you’d eat every last one yourself… Oh, right, and you’d have to compensate me too.”

“I counted. We cut open five watermelons in total. Two hundred for each makes one thousand. Each weighed an average of five jin…”

“Oh, and unripe watermelons are probably hard to find. I’ll buy you five ripe ones instead, but you have to finish them! Growing watermelons isn’t easy for the farmers…”

Zhang Huainan: “…” Growing them isn’t easy for the farmers, but is eating more than twenty jin of watermelon easy for an old man like me?

As Lu Yibei meticulously tallied every item on the “bill,” Zhang Huainan’s expression gradually darkened.

————

Zhang Huainan was not a man who broke his word. In the end, he agreed to the watermelon-eating performance, though it would have to wait until the matter of the Esoteric Society was resolved.

After leaving the breakfast shop and parting ways with Zhang Huainan, Lu Yibei stood at the entrance to Sleepless Street. Bathed in the mild morning sunlight, he stretched lazily.

Now it was time for serious business. First, he needed to ask the PL girl what other places Pink Fluffy Bunny might harm besides the Great Pure Palace, and then…

Right. He also needed to ask the Ancestor what to do now that the fragment of the Pure Lotus Sword had shattered, Lu Yibei thought.