I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

In the early morning, within the courtyard of the Hua City Folk Culture Administration Bureau.

The mushroom girl crouched under an umbrella, holding an old radio that was broadcasting the weather forecast before the city news.

“… Tomorrow’s temperature will range from 7°C to 20°C. Due to unknown factors, the next seven days will see a significant reduction in rain and snow in Hua City, with the weather remaining warm and pleasant. It seems that since 20xx, Hua City is experiencing another mild winter…”

In the courtyard, the sycamore trees, already stripped of their leaves, had sprouted new buds early, their fresh green hues breaking the warm, bright sunlight into fragments scattered across the ground.

Lu Yibei lay on a bench, legs crossed, a spicy strip dangling from his mouth as he hummed a slightly off-key tune. Beside him, on a stone table, the freshly brewed white tea wafted its fragrance into the air.

He looked every bit like a retiree enjoying his golden years.

Ever since he had witnessed the mushroom girl’s formidable psychic energy fluctuation, he had resolved to get on her good side.

Although Bai Kai mentioned that due to certain special reasons, the mushroom girl couldn’t utilize even a tenth of her combat potential, her sheer psychic energy fluctuation alone was enough to scare off most adversaries.

“Oh-!”

After listening to the weather forecast, the mushroom girl seemed to have suddenly thought of something, her eyes widening in disbelief. She turned her head and gently patted Lu Yibei’s hand, as if to signal, “Look at what you’ve done!”Feeling the light tap on his hand, Lu Yibei glanced at the mushroom girl, tilted his head, pondered for a couple of seconds, and then reached into his jacket pocket to pull out a spicy strip. “You want some too, right?”

Without waiting for her response, he placed a spicy strip in her mouth and returned his attention to the phone screen, refreshing the campus network page.

Today was the day the results for the final exams of the Chinese Language and Literature major at Hua City University of Technology were released.

“Beep beep beep-! It’s nine o’clock in the morning…”

As the time announcement came from the radio, Lu Yibei lightly tapped the phone screen, refreshing the campus network interface. A report card popped up on the screen, and he held his breath.

The moment of truth had arrived.

With one hand, Lu Yibei covered half of the phone screen, slowly scrolling up the report card as if scratching off a lottery ticket, counting the scores for each subject.

“89, 80.5, 92, 87…”

Just as he was confidently expecting this year’s scholarship to be in the bag, his gaze stopped at the last line, on “Ancient Literary Theory of Country Z,” and his brow furrowed involuntarily.

“Ah, this… 6, 62.5? I’m done for, Professor Ma is going to kill me!”

In a semester where I scored over eighty percent in almost every subject, the glaringly low mark in Professor Ma’s “Ancient Literary Theory of Country Z” stood out like a deliberate provocation.

But it wasn’t my fault!

Ultimately, the blame falls on Dusk Maiden and X Taisui.

Had they not caused chaos right when I was revising for my finals, forcing me from the battlefield to the exam room, how could my performance have possibly suffered?

After leaving the reservoir in Hua City, Lu Yibei returned home, collapsed into bed, and slept for over thirty hours. Awakening in a rush, he hurried to school to sit for his first final exam.

That day, the already cramped classroom was packed with haunting specters eager to witness the spectacle.

A sinister, gray mist filled the air like omnipresent lost souls, blanketing the entire classroom. Severed limbs crawled across the floor, leaving behind crimson trails.

Heads, complete with viscera, floated around like promotional balloons.

Several meters-long Human-faced centipedes clung to the ceiling, their twisted joints emitting a cringe-inducing noise.

Watching his classmates enter this “hellish exam room” and nonchalantly sit on rotting flesh, strings of eyeballs, and bizarre organs of indeterminate body parts, Lu Yibei appeared unfazed on the surface, but inside, his mind was as distorted as a famous painting from another world.

Fear.jpg

Though these hauntings were nominally under Lu Yibei’s command, any normal person, no matter how brave, would feel their heart sink at such a sight.

Fear is an instinct inherent in all living beings, according to Darwin’s theory of evolution.

The “ironclad” gene couldn’t possibly have survived billions of years of evolution.

The fearless ones, the iron-headed kids, would have been naturally selected out of existence long ago.

Except for honey badgers, which are an anomaly among millions of species…

With the emergence of the new “King of Hauntings” in Hua City, all the hauntings who hadn’t experienced the Night Parade of a Hundred Ghosts were eager to behold the king’s majestic presence.

But while Lu Yibei slept at home, the hauntings dared not disturb him and could only suppress their excitement, swarming to the exam room as soon as he left home.

Who leaked the news, I wonder!

With a focus on the importance of the exams, Lu Yibei suppressed his complex emotions and entered the exam room expressionlessly, finding his seat by his student number.

As the exam bell rang and he began to write on his paper, the hauntings swarmed around him. Dozens of curious eyes stared, creating a 360-degree intense spectatorship, and the desk dripped with invisible slime and plasma.

In that moment, he knew the exam was doomed.

Although the situation was justified, Lu Yibei later asserted his kingly authority by publicly beating those who championed the “uselessness of studying.” He explicitly banned the hauntings of Hua City from their “fan-like behaviors.”

But the damage was done; the answers written in blood and plasma on the exam paper were irrevocable. The most pressing matter was how to argue this with Professor Ma.

Should I tell Professor Ma I was cursed that day?

No, that excuse seems too far-fetched even to me-would he possibly believe it?

Maybe I should ask the haunting chat group for ideas, maybe they can tweak it a bit?

Lu Yibei was quietly contemplating when a sudden sound of footsteps came from outside the courtyard. Looking up, he saw a figure striding in with an imposing air.

Li Xuan stopped in front of Lu Yibei, hands on hips, chin slightly raised, and a downward curl at the corners of his mouth. Every gesture seemed to announce that the “Disciplinary Leader” of Hua City’s The Midnight Watchers Society was about to cause trouble again.

“Some people, huh, really have it easy! Early in the morning, just basking in the sun, drinking tea, eating… spicy strips. Anyone who didn’t know better would think you were a retired security uncle called back to work!”

Hearing this, Lu Yibei furrowed his brow slightly and turned to look at the mushroom girl beside him, who was munching on spicy strips, holding a teacup, and fiddling with a radio. With a serious expression, he said, “Did you hear that? He’s talking about you!”

“???”

The mushroom girl was momentarily stunned, furrowing her brows. After a brief thought, she looked up at Li Xuan and shot him a fierce glare.

“…” Li Xuan’s mouth twitched, and he quickly said, “Lu Yibei, I’m talking about you, not Operator 01! Have you finished your work? Slacking off here early in the morning?”

“The atmosphere of The Midnight Watchers Society has been spoiled by people like you and Bai Kai. Do you even know your roles?”

“Of course!” Lu Yibei nodded earnestly. “Proxy operator of Hua City’s The Midnight Watchers Society!”

“If you know, then why…” Li Xuan hesitated, then after a few seconds of contemplation, he patiently asked, “Have you completed this week’s data statistics?”

As the operator responsible for reviewing reports, Li Xuan felt it necessary to have a serious talk with Lu Yibei about this matter.

Lu Yibei was simply too perfunctory, so much so that Li Xuan could hardly stand it anymore.

“I’ve finished it!”

“And… the night patrol report…”

“That’s finished too!” Lu Yibei replied earnestly. “Not only is the night patrol report done, but the monitoring of sealing locations and the repair logs are also completed. If you want to ask about the psychic energy fluctuation monitoring logs, those are done too.”

“Of course, there are some miscellaneous weekly and daily reports that I haven’t had time to write because the deadline hasn’t arrived yet.”

“Hmph, do you think I haven’t seen your reports?” Li Xuan said. “Except for the monitoring of sealing locations and repair logs, everything else just says ‘All is normal, nothing happened.’ Who are you trying to fool?”

“If Hua City were really that peaceful, that would be great!”

“The fact is, nothing happened!” Lu Yibei shrugged. “If you don’t believe me, you can ask the guys from the special task force or the colleagues at the psychic energy monitoring center!”

As the King of Hauntings in Hua City, isn’t it normal for no hauntings to cause trouble during my night watch? Lu Yibei thought to himself.

Li Xuan, “…”

The facts that Lu Yibei mentioned, Li Xuan had already checked before coming. Indeed, during Lu Yibei’s night watches, Hua City had been calm and quiet.

However, even if it seemed perfunctory, the fact that Lu Yibei completed a month’s worth of work within a week inevitably made it seem like there was an element of carelessness involved.

He suddenly felt a bit nostalgic for when Jiang Li was around. At least Jiang Li would always wait until the last day of the month to submit all reports.

This gave him a traceable reason to criticize Jiang Li for “corrupting” the atmosphere of The Midnight Watchers Society in Hua City.

As Li Xuan was secretly pondering how to find a reason to keep Lu Yibei in check, An Qing strolled over to them.

She glanced at Li Xuan and Lu Yibei, then casually positioned herself between them with a smile, “Oh? Everyone’s here! That’s perfect!”

“Recently, Du Sixian’s observation period is nearing its end, and I’m considering assigning her some simple tasks. However, the patients affected by the Nocturnal Syndrome from the Night Parade of a Hundred Ghosts haven’t been fully dealt with yet, and I’m a bit tied up. So…”

“Is there anyone willing to step up and offer her some support?”

In truth, An Qing believed that the only reliable people in The Midnight Watchers Society of Hua City were Lu Yibei and Li Xuan. Jiang Li was still on vacation, Gu Xiliu was often absent, mushroom girl was incapable of offering support, and Bai Kai posed a risk with his chaotic relationships, making him unreliable.

“Lu Yibei! He’s already finished all his work,” Li Xuan quickly interjected.

“Ah, well…”

Lu Yibei opened his mouth, ready to say something, but An Qing looked over at him with a smile, “So, can I entrust you with supporting Du Sixian?”

“Actually, I’m…”

“No worries, even though you’re just a proxy operator, everyone acknowledges your work capabilities. I’m counting on you!” An Qing interrupted, “Du Sixian really admires you!”

Lu Yibei thought to himself, “I’ve finished my work for The Midnight Watchers Society, but the tasks of the King of Hauntings are far from over!”

Lu Yibei had only recently realized that the familiars Bai Kai mentioned weren’t meant to play a role during the Night Parade of a Hundred Ghosts.

But rather, after the parade…

The responsibilities of the King of Hauntings were overwhelming.

Setting aside the extreme ruler like Plague Taisui, who, after occupying an area, would devour and assimilate all hauntings there, being a competent “king” was no easy feat.

Just like collecting taxes from citizens requires providing them benefits, the King of Hauntings, who enjoys psychic energy gathered through Ley Line Energy, is theoretically obliged to respond to the hauntings’ requests.

These requests range from territorial disputes to haunting marital affairs, with at least dozens of issues arising daily.

Three days after completing the Night Parade of a Hundred Ghosts, Lu Yibei understood why Gou Meng was so adept at hosting weddings.

And why Gou Meng was so enamored with being a “runaway girl,” living off others and enjoying the carefree lifestyle, because it was genuinely delightful.

Watching the two hauntings kneeling in front of her, Lu Yibei rubbed her throbbing temples.

When can I, like Gou Meng, crash at someone’s place, mooching meals and stealing money for in-game purchases, playing games all day?

I wish I had more familiars to share my troubles…

As she pondered, she waved her sleeve expressionlessly and said coldly, “Speak up, what trivial… dispute do you not want me to judge?”

“Bowing to Lady Witch,” said the haunting that was as big as a pig, with a tiger’s nose and pig’s teeth, emitting a foul smell, “This fellow lost a bet to me and refuses to honor it!”

Lu Yibei turned to the other haunting, whose head was square and face dotted with round spots like a die, and asked, “Is this true?”

Looking embarrassed, the die-like haunting blinked and replied, “Bowing to Lady Witch, indeed it is true, but I didn’t expect it would really dare to go into the bathroom and pinch humans’ buttocks!”

“Hauntings have dignity too, what normal haunting would hide in a toilet waiting to pinch someone’s buttocks?!”

Lu Yibei held her forehead and glanced again at the foul-smelling haunting, saying irritably, “When you bet with someone, can’t you first check what type of haunting it is?”

“As an evil spirit type, a Toilet Ghost with such powers, doing such things is only natural, isn’t it?”

“That’s right, that’s right! Give me the core entity!” the Toilet Ghost chimed in.

“Shut up, I wasn’t talking about you yet!” Lu Yibei glared at the Toilet Ghost and continued, “It’s bad enough that your haunting powers brought bad habits, but how could you use these to bet with other hauntings?”

“Is this a bet? This is fraud!”

“And, what did I tell you before? Within Hua City, hauntings attacking humans is prohibited. Did you ignore that?”

Facing Lu Yibei’s cold face and angry tone, the Toilet Ghost shivered, curled up, and said weakly, “But if we don’t attack humans, what about our source of psychic energy? I’m nearly starved to death.”

As the Toilet Ghost’s words ended, a chorus of agreement erupted.

“Yes!”

“Lady Witch, please give us a way to live!”

“That’s right, that’s right!”

“…”

Seeing this, Lu Yibei held her forehead, waved her hand, and then Meng stepped forward, holding an A4 paper, and shouted, “Silence!”

“Lady Witch has plans for this!”

A sharp psychic energy fluctuation spread, and the area became instantly silent.

Once all the hauntings quieted down, Meng raised her voice, using the dramatic tones that once made her famous in Hua City, to read from the A4 paper.

“Let me announce the ‘Hua City Haunting Management Regulations Calamity Revision Never to be Changed Final Edition’!”

“First, electronic devices and hauntings are not allowed in examination rooms.

Second, resolve fights offline, no brawling through Lady Witch’s Dream online.

…

Forty-fourth, hunting among hauntings should follow the benign recyclable rule, refer to the twenty-fifth article.

Forty-fifth, and most importantly.

Hunting humans is forbidden (except for criminal offenders). If found, haunting’s core entity will be confiscated immediately.

If additional psychic energy is needed, it can be obtained by scaring, spreading belief, etc., while ensuring human safety.

No need to worry about The Midnight Watchers Society investigating; Lady Witch will handle all aftermath arrangements.

(Note: Do not scare humans who have already hidden under blankets or in closets.)

Additionally, if the aforementioned methods are insufficient for psychic energy, applications can be made to Lady Witch. After review, use of Ley Line Energy to capture and infuse stray psychic energy may be authorized.

The final interpretation right belongs to the Calamity Witch.

Hua City hauntings are expected to strictly comply and spread the word.

That is all.”

After Meng finished speaking, she glanced at the dense crowd of hauntings before her. After waiting a few seconds, she asked, “I’ve finished. Who’s in favor, and who’s against?”

“……”

After a long silence among the hauntings present, the leader of the Human-faced Centipede tentatively asked, “Can we really scare humans to our heart’s content without worrying about The Midnight Watchers Society coming after us?”

“Are you doubting Lady Witch’s abilities?” Meng shot a glance at the Human-faced Centipede leader, then turned to Lu Yibei with a questioning look.

Seeing Lu Yibei nod in approval, Meng continued addressing the hauntings, “Let me tell you, Lady Witch has strong connections within Hua City’s Midnight Watchers Society. As long as you don’t kill anyone, she can handle anything for you.”

“……”

After another bout of silence, the hauntings suddenly erupted into cheers.

“Awesome, I’ve been wanting to do this for ages!”

“Exactly, exactly! As a dedicated ghost warrior, I’ve long wanted to crawl through the internet cables to visit the keyboard warriors and conduct some ‘physical’ ideological work!”

“Ha! If it weren’t for the fear of The Midnight Watchers Society causing trouble, who would want to kill anyone?”

“……”

Watching the hauntings chatter excitedly, Lu Yibei nodded, feeling very satisfied.

She didn’t draft such regulations on a whim. It was a result of careful analysis and research based on the various requests and prayers from the hauntings over time.

Lu Yibei had also confirmed with the golden horn and silver horn that as long as there were no fatalities, certain operations could ensure that the higher-ups would turn a blind eye.

In fact, the hauntings in Taoyuan had long been scaring tourists at the attractions.

Lu Yibei combined these insights and devised a set of regulations akin to a “monster power company.”

In reality, most low-tier hauntings that haven’t fallen into corruption require minimal psychic energy to survive and don’t necessarily have to attack humans to obtain it.

Previously, hunting psychic potential bearers and scaring humans were almost considered equally grave offenses, both leading to the intervention of The Midnight Watchers Society and resulting in extermination. Thus, with equal risks, they opted for the path that offered more psychic energy.

Of course, this wasn’t entirely the fault of The Midnight Watchers Society. Most hauntings don’t have a King of Hauntings like Lu Yibei to restrain them. Even if they did, such regulations might not be enacted, leading to the worst outcomes.

But things are different in Hua City now. The Calamity Witch has arrived, bringing a new dawn. The Midnight Watchers Society can no longer control hauntings scaring humans, allowing them to live openly in the shadows!

Hauntings have their own lives too. If not forced, they wouldn’t randomly go out at night to harm humans.

Moreover, Lady Witch offers subsidies! What kind of normal King of Hauntings would use Ley Line Energy for such purposes?

Thus, starting the day after the release of the “Hua City Haunting Management Regulations Calamity Revision Never to be Changed Final Edition,” the number of murderous haunting attack incidents sharply decreased within Hua City, while sightings and contact-related haunting incidents surged, with few casualties.

In fact, Hua City Central Hospital even received several emergency calls from hauntings for patients with sudden heart attacks. The medical staff were so frightened that they hesitated to assist, almost missing the optimal rescue window…