World’s Cutest Alchemist

“Highest Level Blasphemy!?” I spat out incredulously, “For what!? What did I do wrong!?”

- ???: All I did was blow up a church!

- ???: And commit chemical warfare!

- ???: Just because the enemy surrendered, doesn’t mean they’re free from my explosions!

“I never said that last one!” I exclaimed.

- LOLOLOL

- Bin’s becoming sort of a little bomber herself, huh.

- Hm… (suspicious icon)

“Heh, as if I could be that short.” I snorted, “I’m a ultra-rare mega beauty with silver hair and red eyes!”

- True ancestor!?

- I kneel for the blood queen!

- My true ancestor likes explosions…?

[Bahaha!] Rumi laughed, [Mouse, is this true? Is Bin a ultra-rare mega beauty with silver hair and red eyes?]

[No.] Luna promptly said.

“What!? Mouse! How could you?!”

- Caught!

- Exposed!

- Liar!!

[Your eyes aren’t red.]

“Oh? But I am a ultra-rare mega beauty in your eyes?” I playfully said.

- Huh…? Why did the mood switch?

- God damn it! We’re being force fed dog food!

- No!! Let’s go back to teasing Bin!!

“Alright!!” I shouted, “Let’s go get our spoils!”

[Hehehe! Yes! Those three looked quite stacked, they should have some good gear!] Rumi joined in, laughing maniacally.

Inside, three backpacks signifying the player’s corpses lay on the ground. There was also a bunch of blacksmith gear scattered around—were they using this place as their base?

[Oh! We should get some good weapons! They had a blacksmitch class on their team!] Rumi said, happily looting.

I quickly followed and searched through the bags for prominent materials. A blacksmith should have some stuff for making explosives, right?

!

Lots of ore! Hehe, processing them will be worthwhile.

[Gremlins…] Luna muttered, but neither Rumi nor I heard her.

- Mouse is the mother looking after her troublemaking children.

- Why is that so fitting?

- LOLOL

- Rumi and Bin are such loot goblins.

- I get such gremlin sister energy from Bin and Streamer…

“Rumi! Look!” I shouted.

[Huh?] Rumi came over, [Oh!!! How do I look?!] She happily said, twirling her character around.

She had put on some +5 warrior armor that made her look like a knight from the medieval ages.

“So cool!!” I said, jumping around her character.

[Hehe, aren’t I awesome?] She smugly said.

“You’re awesome! Invincible! The strongest! A moving castle!”

[Haha! I am! Where are the enemies! I’ll charge straight into them!]

“Yes!! Take this!” I handed her a ‘potion’. “Use it as your entrance!”

[Will do, Little Bin!]

Luna silently stood just watching us with a tired brain.

- Mouse…I feel you.

- If your Mouse and want to go to bed, type 1.

- 1

- 1

- 1

[1…]

…

The game went on smoothly after that. My bombs…potions weren’t end all be all, but they were a great starter attack on the enemy.

Luna and Rumi ended up doing most of the work, taking out the enemies swiftly while I got to sit back and relax. Brewing better and stronger buff potions for them.

That’s not to say I was completely stress-free though. As, even when I’m hiding in the back, an assassin class or similar can and will target me. In fact, that’s exactly what happened near the end of the game.

Luckily, Luna noticed an enemy was missing and quickly returned and dealt with that sneaky assassin.

By the end of the match, I saw a pleasant ‘Winner!’ message appear on screen.

The three of us continued to play for a few hours after that, occasionally seeing a few more ‘Winner!’ messages, but seeing a lot more ‘You Died!’ messages.

Overall, I had a fun time. I know Luna and Rumi did too.

“Alrighty, I’m gonna get off for today. I had a blast.” I said, yawning and stretching my arms wide.

[Aww, I want to play more with you!] Rumi pouted.

“Hehe, we’ll play again some time. I have work to do now though.”

[Alright, fine, I’ll reluctantly let you go. Thank you for playing with us on stream today! I had a fun time, and I’m sure chat did too, chat did you?] Rumi asked.

- My favorite stream this year!

- No!!! Bin! Don’t abandon us!!

- Don’t leave us alone!!

- Bin come back!!

[They had a blast!] Rumi said cheerfully, [They’re all sending you off with smiles!]

- Woman, does it look like we’re smiling!?

- I’m sobbing uncontrollably and you’re laughing!?

- Bin!! Save us from this mean-spirited streamer!!

“Hehe, I’ll take your word for it.” I smiled, “Bye, Rumi!”

[Bye!! I’ll message you later!!] Rumi said.

I left the call and stretched.

That was fun.

…

After settling down and relaxing for a bit, I tiptoed to the bedroom where I found Luna still playing with Rumi.

Sneakily, I tapped on Luna’s shoulder which caused her to flinch. As she went to speak, I made a ‘hushing’ motion.

‘What is it?’ she mouthed.

I smiled as a reply before pointing at the screen.

Luna tilted her head and I exaggerated a sigh which caused her to furrow her brow.

‘Let me play.’ I mouthed.

A look of realization appeared on her face before she nodded.

‘Okay.’ She mouthed.

As she went to get up, I promptly found my seat on her lap.

“Eek!” Luna let out, immediately covering her mouth.

[Mouse? What’s wrong?] Rumi asked, concerned.

I looked at her.

“Ah, nothing. I just thought I saw something…” Luna replied.

[Oh, okay, well, let’s keep going then.] Rumi didn’t think much of it.

I mischievously smiled at Luna before putting my hands on the keyboard and mouse.

Hm…This is my first time playing a mage…

Luna continued to talk with Rumi as if nothing was out of the ordinary as we played through the match.

Eventually, we stumbled upon our first enemies. Goblins.

Rumi charged in, using her skills flashily.

Oh! And this is when I should use my own skills, right? I thought, reading through the skills.

Hm…

[Shock] might be a little too weak for these goblins…

Let’s go with [Thunderbolt].

BOOM!

The goblins became char and Rumi’s health shot down to less than half.

[Waaah! Mouse!!! What the heck!!?]

“Ah, I used the wrong skill.” Luna said without changing expression.

[Used the wrong skill!!? You had 8 seconds to cancel it!!]

“Sorry, won’t happen again.”

[Okay, fine, it better not!]

We continued to explore, eventually finding another group of enemies. Just like last time, Rumi charged in.

Okay…[Thunderbolt] is a no-go…

[Shock] is still way too weak…So…

Let’s go with [Lightning Zipper].

A streak of lightning shot out from my characters hand and struck a goblin directly. The lightning didn’t dissipate and went from one goblin to the next, going through all of them before eventually hitting Rumi.

The health she had just healed immediately shot down to half.

[You!!]

- Hehe, Mouse is becoming a little troll.

- Bin must’ve influenced her.

- LOL

“Ah…” Luna let out.

[What was that for!?]

“…I forgot that skill targets anything in proximity.”

[Liar!!]

- LOL as if that excuse will work! Just say you wanted to troll!

“Sorry, won’t happen again.”

[Okay…I’ll trust you one last time.]

- Oh no…

- My stream sense is tingling, I think I know what’s going to happen.

We continued forth, Rumi expertly leading the way.

[Players!] Rumi whisper shouted immediately crouching and hiding behind a bush.

Oh!

A few seconds later, I followed.

[They saw us!!! Why’d you take so long to hide!?] Rumi said exasperated.

“…” Luna didn’t reply.

Rumi stood up and charged toward them since hiding was useless now anyways.

[Let’s do it like usual!] Rumi said.

“…Got it.” Luna hesitantly replied.

Hm…

I’ve already used [Thunderbolt] and [Lightning Zipper]…So, I want to use something new.

Well, I might as well try [Shock].

A small bolt of lightning shot where my cursor aimed…Directly at Rumi.

[WAH!]

[LittleBomberisCute has eliminated RumiVT]

Ah…Oops.

My end wasn’t long after as two players charged at me. I tried my best and used [Thunderbolt] but the casting time was too long and the ‘You Died!’ message appeared on screen.

- LOLOLOL

- Mouse’s stream sense is alive baby!

- LMAOOOOO

- Rumi must’ve displeased Mouse somehow LMAO

[…Mouse, did I do something wrong?] Rumi asked with a pitiful voice.

Instead of letting Mouse reply, I decided to take responsibility so that Rumi wouldn’t mess with Mouse too much later.

“Ahem!” I cleared my throat, trying to lower my voice to sound more like Luna’s, “Yes! You’ve displeased me, Rumi.”

- Bin?

- Bin!?

- LOLOLOL

- I knew Mouse wouldn’t suddenly become a gremlin.

- LMAOOO Everything makes sense now!

- Bin’s trying to sound like Mouse, how cute.

[B-Bin?!]

“No. Ahem, it’s me, Mouse.” I cleared my throat again.

[A-Ah! Mouse! I see! What did I do to displease you!?] Rumi said with a cheerful voice.

“It is because you didn’t praise Bin’s greatness(cuteness) at the start of the match. It is a pre-game ritual we must complete if we want to win the game!”

[Praise…Bin’s…Greatness(cuteness)?] Rumi said before sounding enlightened, [I see! So! Every time before the match, we must praise Bin’s greatness(cuteness)?]

“You know well, Little Rumi. That’s right, we must do so before every match and you must force me to do so too because I have short-term memory loss.”

I felt a strong pinch at my waist,

“EEK!” I turned to see Mouse with furrowed brows, I glared at her.

[Bin? No-I mean, Mouse? Are you alright?]

Begrudgingly turning my attention back to the computer I cleared my throat,

“Ahem, I’m fine. Anyways, you must force me to praise Bin before every match! Bye!”

I quickly jumped off Luna’s lap and exited the bedroom.

- Mouse’s voice got a bit higher pitched towards the end there, didn’t it?

- Hm… (suspicious icon)

- Something feels wrong…

- Why did Mouse’s voice turn to Bin’s at the end?

- Oh well! All I know is that we must praise Bin before the next match!

…

“Hehe…” I giggled, turning on the stream on my phone.

[Come on, Mouse! We have to praise Bin! You said so yourself!] Rumi said.

[…Really?] Luna replied with a dead voice.

[Yes! Yes! You yourself said we cannot start the next match until we both praise Bin!]

[Haah…] Luna let out a deep sigh, [Bin is the greatest(cutest) alchemist in the world.]

[Good! Let’s go!]

“Hehehe!” I giggled evilly.

Does this count as outsourcing my teasing…?

…

For the next few days I was back in full swing. I’d spend hours practicing my mana manipulation. And when I ran out of mana, I’d study materials.

Though my [Material Knowledge] skill aided my memory and was practically a cheat sheet, I still spent a lot of my time studying and learning the materials in depth.

The only bad part about this was that even though my inspiration and creativity was flowing, I couldn’t brew potions. With all my mana being used for manipulation training, there was no space for alchemy.

Ugh…I really need to finish this floor fast so I can get back to my daily alchemy routine.

Should I actually try meditation?

Hm…

Closing my eyes for a moment, I tried to empty my thoughts and focused on my breathing.

Not even ten seconds later did my thoughts restart and flood my mind.

Yeah…No, meditation is not for me.

Sighing, I picked up my pencil and continued to study.

…

[Dude, what the hell is this!???]

Author: xx

Every single time I try to loot, there’s a bomb! Like what the fuck.

This is pissing me off, every single material I try to pick up, every single house I try to loot, I end up exploding!! Like why is this happening???

→ [LOLOLOL, getting hit with the Little Bomber strategy, huh?]

↳ [(Author): The what??]

↳ [It’s a new meta found by someone named BinLover on a stream a few days ago. An alchemist goes all in on explosive related skills and makes bombs to trap others. The strategy evolved and now an explorer or gathering class gathers materials for the alchemist and a trapper class installs these bombs all over the map.

It’s named the ‘Little Bomber’ strategy since it requires an alchemist making bombs. Honestly, it’s super fun to play, watching people fall for your traps is such a blast.]

↳ [(Author): God damn it!!! Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?]