Marvel: A Lazy-Ass Superman

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Ever since Katherine Hepburn’s health had begun to decline, she—already someone who highly valued her privacy—had become even less inclined to leave the house.

The biggest obstacle was the stairs.

Even though her apartment wasn’t on a particularly high floor, for a ninety-two-year-old woman, those stairs might as well have been a sheer cliff.

As for why they didn’t simply install an elevator?

The answer was simple: renovating an old building came with endless complications.

There were legal hurdles, architectural limitations since the original design had never included an elevator shaft, and the inevitable issue of coordinating with all the other residents. And the people living here were all either wealthy or influential...

In short, after taking all those factors into account, buying an entirely new building with an elevator would have been easier.

So the building remained largely unchanged. Even renovation projects focused on restoring its original appearance rather than modifying it.

---

But after Henry arrived, Katherine Hepburn no longer resisted having a young person accompany her on walks through the park.

The problem of the stairs was solved by Henry simply carrying her up and down.

Compared to walking on level ground, climbing stairs placed much greater strain on the knees.

No wonder Katherine had disliked going out.

For elderly people, stairs were genuinely unfriendly.

Once Henry took over that burden, walks in the park suddenly became enjoyable again.

In fact, the old lady was now more enthusiastic about them than anyone else.

She didn’t use a cane or any other mobility aid.

Instead, Henry supported her arm.

To outsiders, they looked like a grandmother taking her grandson out for a stroll.

---

A few years earlier, when she had been in better health, Katherine Hepburn would occasionally attend Hollywood gatherings depending on the circumstances.

But in recent years, she had stopped attending entirely.

She was long past her peak fame.

No event would collapse simply because she wasn’t present.

As a result, Henry’s life in New York was surprisingly simple.

He enjoyed this elderly lifestyle as well.

Everything moved at a slower pace.

For a Kryptonian with super speed, such opportunities to leisurely pass the time were priceless.

Henry’s desires really weren’t all that grand.

---

After countless changes over the decades, Central Park covered an area of 341 hectares, making it the sixth-largest park in New York City.

It contained numerous lakes, ecological landscapes, recreational facilities, and rich plant and animal life.

Migratory birds frequently visited, attracting many birdwatchers.

There were long walking trails, two skating rinks, open lawns for sports enthusiasts, and playgrounds for children.

The ten-kilometer loop road around the park was especially popular among joggers, cyclists, and rollerbladers.

Katherine Hepburn never followed a fixed route during her walks.

Her favorite activity was strolling along the lakeside paths.

The rustling of leaves in the wind.

The occasional ripples across the water’s surface.

Almost everything fascinated her and could make her stop and stare for quite some time.

---

And the old lady was certainly not a quiet person.

She was confident, passionate, and talkative.

Whenever she walked with Henry, she seemed capable of talking endlessly.

Unfortunately, her dementia still affected her.

Which meant Henry’s identity changed constantly.

As her listener, he frequently found himself transformed into one of many people:

Ludlow Ogden Smith.

Leland Hayward.

Spencer Tracy.

Howard Stark.

And others.

The first was the only man Katherine Hepburn had ever married. Their marriage had lasted six years.

The second was her agent, and they had once been romantically involved.

The third and fourth hardly needed explanation.

Occasionally she assigned Henry the role of people he had never even heard of.

Sometimes she even mistook him for female friends and proceeded to tell stories so scandalous they would make a listener blush.

It certainly suggested that the old rumors about Katherine being lesbian or bisexual hadn’t emerged entirely from nowhere.

Then again, perhaps it was simply true that when women became dirty-minded, men couldn’t compete.

A lifelong tomboy teasing young women and making risqué jokes among friends wasn’t exactly shocking.

Regardless of whom she imagined him to be, Henry always played along.

Even when he knew nothing about the events being discussed and got corrected by Katherine, it hardly mattered.

After all, she might forget the entire conversation moments later.

---

Of course, spending more time in public places like parks inevitably meant encountering strange people.

For example:

One day, while walking along a narrow woodland trail, they encountered an elderly Black man who was clearly in no hurry whatsoever—yet insisted on pressuring them from behind with his dogs.

He weighed at least three hundred pounds.

Bald.

Wearing a gold chain thicker than a thumb.

He was leading two pit bulls.

The dogs barked furiously behind the elderly woman.

Their chains rattled loudly.

The leashes stretched taut.

They looked ready to charge forward and bite someone.

Yet the man showed no concern whatsoever.

If anything, he seemed proud.

Pulling on the chains, he sneered:

”Old lady, if you can’t walk faster, move aside. Don’t block the path.”

”My shoes cost a lot of money. If they get dirty, can you afford to compensate me?”

---

Henry glanced back at the man and his two pit bulls.

What puzzled him was whether the guy truly understood why his dogs were barking.

People often said:

”A barking dog doesn’t bite.”

Because dogs that actually intended to bite usually skipped the barking part.

Most barking was just bluster.

The man noticed Henry looking.

”What’re you staring at, punk?”

”Believe it or not, I’ll rip your eyes out!”

---

Perhaps out of a protective instinct, Katherine Hepburn gently pulled Henry off the path and onto the dirt beside it.

”Young man, if you’re in a hurry, go ahead.”

”I’m enjoying my walk.”

”And I’m still waiting for my kitty.”

Since the old lady had spoken, Henry wasn’t about to start a confrontation.

He simply stepped aside and gestured politely.

”After you.”

---

The man strutted forward smugly.

Unfortunately for him, things didn’t unfold the way he expected.

Although the pit bulls barked like mad and looked aggressive, they never actually charged Katherine.

Instead, they maintained a noticeable distance.

Refusing to get any closer.

Soon the man found himself ahead of his own dogs.

He had to turn around and physically drag them forward.

The dogs resisted desperately.

Their barking never stopped.

Then—

A massive shape burst from behind a cluster of trees.

It shot past the man and charged directly toward the old woman.

The two pit bulls instantly bolted in the opposite direction.

The force of their panic yanked the chains free from the man’s grasp.

Whimpering miserably, they fled for their lives.

---

The man stood frozen in confusion.

By the time he understood what was happening, he saw the old woman happily rubbing the head of a gigantic yellow-and-black striped creature.

”Good Katie.”

”Such a good kitty.”

”Where have you been playing? You’re all dirty.”

She brushed leaves and bits of debris from Katie’s fur.

---

The man finally got a clear look at the creature’s face.

”A tiger!”

”A tiger!”

”THERE’S A TIGER!”

He fell backward onto the ground in terror.

Katie seemed determined to confirm her identity.

She turned toward him and let out a roar.

The man immediately lost all dignity and scrambled away on all fours.

---

The roar, however, greatly displeased Katherine.

She grabbed Katie’s head and turned it back toward herself.

”Naughty kitty.”

”Bad kitty.”

”You mustn’t go around roaring at people.”

---

Henry watched the fleeing man disappear into the distance before offering a correction the man would never hear:

”It’s actually a tabby cat...”

The truth was simple.

Pit bulls weren’t particularly brave.

Both Henry and Katherine carried Katie’s scent on their bodies.

The smell of a top predator.

That was why the dogs had been barking hysterically in the first place.

They were terrified.

---

Henry sighed and looked at the old lady beside him.

”Katherine.”

”Please stop taking Katie off her leash.”

”Do you really think letting this giant cat run around freely is a good idea?”

As he spoke, he clipped the chain back onto Katie’s collar.

---

The old lady continued rubbing Katie’s head.

”With you around, what do I have to worry about?”

”And Katie’s very well-behaved.”

”Besides, you said there wasn’t anyone nearby when I let her loose.”

Her tone was so innocent that it resembled a child who had no concept of how serious the situation could become.

Henry could only sigh internally.

Right.

My apologies.

After all this time, it turns out the real weirdo here was me.

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