I Got Isekai’d, Well Shyt!

”Who’s there?” Ryan asked as he stepped out of the brush.

There was no answer.

”I know you’re out here. I can hear your heart beating,” Ryan said as he kept walking towards the noises coming from a bush in front of him.

Suddenly Ryan feels a sharp pain in his chest and falls to the ground clutching his left breast. He felt something blunt bash into his chest from the bush, knocking him backward.

”Oh shit! No!” Ryan screams as he quickly rolls onto his hands and feet. He then looked over his shoulder to see what attacked him. That’s when he saw a little green child-like creature staring at him with its spear pointed at Ryan’s head.

”Shit! Of fucking course! J-Just go easy on me and we’ll get along fine,” Ryan says trying to keep his cool as the goblin smirks showing off his yellow rotting teeth.

”Raw! Raw, wwwaaarrrr!” The Goblin grunts out.

Ryan had no clue what the creature said but it didn’t take him long to know what this thing was after. The look in its eyes was of lust.

”Oh, Fuuuck OFF!” Ryan curses as it takes a step closer to him.

”Hey, hey! Hey! Stop! I’m a dude!” Ryan yells as he tries to push the goblin away but this makes it more excited.

”Raw!” The goblin yells out again as it grabs hold of Ryan and tries to rip off his pants.

That’s when Ryan went on the offensive and grabbed ahold of its wrist knocking the crude spear out of its hand before getting grabbing the goblin’s head.

”Don’t you dare touch me you fucking pervert!” Ryan yelled as he picked up the goblin and smashed it into the ground with such force that it caved in its skull. Spraying purple blood and brown brains all over the grassy forest floor. Killing it on the spot. It didn’t take long for Ryan to feel the cool sensation of the mana entering his body. It wasn’t as powerful as the Kobold’s mana, but it was pleasant.

”Hmph! That’s what you get, you piece of crap!” Ryan said with disgust.

He stood up to leave but heard more of the familiar heartbeats all around him. ’Huh? D-Don’t tell me-’ He turned around to see more goblins standing around him. Some were in the trees while others were coming out of holes in the ground. They all had lust in their eyes and started coming for him.

”Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!” Ryan cursed as he ran away from the goblins chasing after him.

As Ryan tried to flee more and more goblins started coming out of the woodwork. What was a small number at first became a horde of 20 in a blink of an eye.

Ryan realizes that he can’t run forever once he noticed he was surrounded. There was no other choice but to fight the goblins so he could make his escape.

”Okay, Okay! So these things are just like the fantasy novels back at home. But I fucking hate killing things! Maybe just one or two should be more than enough to make a hole. HEYA!” Ryan said as he picked up a goblin that tried to jump him and hurled it at a big stone rock about five feet away.

While Ryan was fighting his way out of this first wave of goblins, he spotted a bunch of new goblins holding crude swords and spears.

They form up and charge Ryan in waves as he dodges the attacks while countering them swiftly taking down some of the goblins with ease as he was stronger than he knew.

Finally one of the goblins catches Ryan off guard before he can make a break for it.

*Swing!*

*Thud!*

He was amazed by how quickly he moved and caught the goblin’s sword with no problem.

’How did I move so fast? It’s like everything goes into bullet time when I’m being attacked. But why didn’t it work when I was attacked by that first goblin? Fuck it! I don’t have time to think!’

”Raw! Raw, wwwaaarwwwww!” The goblin yells before Ryan bashes it with its own sword.

”Piece of shit!” Ryan says as he kicks the goblin and sends it flying. He could hear its bones breaking when the goblin hit the tree. But Ryan’s victory was short-lived when he heard the running of many little feet coming towards him.

’Fuck it’s like I kicked a hornet’s nest! They’re everywhere!’ Ryan thought to himself as he wiped his sweat off his forehead while picking up the crude sword from the goblin he just kicked.

Three more little green men came charging in at Ryan all at the same time. So he decided to use his ’Dark Earthly Blade’ with the crappy goblin sword and strikes a goblin in the face with the extending blade as he charges forward. He’s able to take out two more goblins and was aiming for a fourth one. But that goblin was able to dodge the extending blade before the sword in Ryan’s hand shattered due to the stress of ’Dark Earthly Blade’ magic.

”Five down! fifteen more to go! I may be tired! But I’ll fucking end you bastards!” Ryan said as he continued his fight with hand-to-hand combat as the goblins tried to surround him.

’Shit! I have to kill them so my body can absorb more mana! I’m hoping that will help with my fatigue!’

Ryan charges at a goblin picking it up by the shoulder.

”Die Motherfucker!” Ryan shouts as he smashes the goblin against a tree.

His next target is a goblin with a shield and spear. And it was about to thrust the jagged tip towards Ryan.

He dodges the tip of the spear and smashes the goblin with his own shield. The shield falls apart on impact with the goblin’s face. Caving it in instantly as the goblin falls over dead.

Ryan took a deep breath as he moved towards the next goblin, he kicked it and sent it flying.

*Pow!*

”Ow! What the hell!” Ryan moaned when he felt a stone slammed off his back, thrown by a goblin in the branches of a tree.

”Oh! You want to throw stones, ah?” Ryan picked up a stone that was as big as an egg and threw it at the goblin in the tree. The stone smashed into its rib cage making it cough out blood before falling to the ground.

Another goblin jumped on Ryan’s back.

”You bastard!” Ryan yells as he grabs the goblin that was trying to choke him and holds the annoying creature in front of him. The goblin was still putting up a fight as it pulled out a rock from its loincloth and tried to attack Ryan with it.

”Bastard! Bastard! BASTAAAAAARD!” The goblin screams as he tries to hit Ryan with the rock until Ryan catches his hand and breaks his arm.

”Fucking shithead!” Ryan cussed as he slammed the goblin against the tree which broke its neck.

The Goblin struggles to breathe before it falls over dead. Ryan shakes his head trying to shake off the pain from all the fighting and after a brief moment, he notices another goblin’s sword on the ground and runs over to grab it.

”Oh shit!” Ryan said as he sees more goblins coming his way.

”I’m ready! Let’s do this!” Ryan said as he charged at the goblins.

He doesn’t take long to finish the first goblin with his sword before kicking another one as he swiftly moves over to the next goblin to kill that one too.

The screams of goblins could be heard echoing throughout the forest as Ryan went after one after the other.

Ryan is slowly becoming the goblin slayer as he takes down two more goblins in quick succession.

’HAAH! Not that many left. Only four of them! This will be easy!’ Ryan thought as he took out the last four goblins with speed and grace.

The ground near Ryan was covered in purple blood as he stood there breathing heavily from all the fighting. With all the dead goblins lying around him and no more coming his way. Ryan decided to sit there for a moment. He was trying to catch his breath and was thinking about what had just transpired. ’It’s weird how fast I’ve been able to get used to using magic... And killing living things... It’s like second nature to me... Huh!’

As he sat there in the aftermath of the battle. Ryan finally noticed his body was feeling strange.

”Mmmmmhhhh!” He moaned as his body started to tingle.

“This goddamn mana lust is going to be the end of me someday! Fuck!” Ryan said as he shook his head while trying to control his libido. If he didn’t calm down soon he would be lost to his urges again. And this place wasn’t safe to deal with the building lust that was growing inside him.

Ryan stood up and walked away from the goblin carnage he left behind.

”Damn! I gotta figure something out. If not, my urges will just keep getting worse till it consumes me.” Ryan said as he wiped off the sweat from his brow and sighed before he looked up at the blue sky.

”I better get moving. I don’t know if the dead goblins will attract other monsters?” Ryan said as he walked back towards the river.