How You Can Sue Me for My Crimes in Dreams

As everyone knows.

This world is full of inexplicable things.

Take Jiangsan City, for example. It’s known to randomly spawn “little gifts” for those fated to find them.

This “little gift” might be right inside your house—under your bed as you sleep, gazing up at your back.

It might be hiding in your air conditioner, your closet, or even a drawer.

In short, it’s everywhere.

Zhang Niu was curious about Jiangsan City’s “little gifts” at first.

Until…

He actually got his hands on one of these “little gifts.”

That grainy, soft, disgusting texture… It felt exactly the same as when he’d pulled out someone’s intestines and held them, all those years ago…

…

…

「January 22nd, 10:20 PM.」

Today was the Spring Festival, the one that ushered out the year 2003 for good.

Everyone was immersed in the joy of the holiday: the happiness of being with family, the comfort of returning to their hometowns, the simple bliss of reunion.

Especially the police.

Detectives rarely got vacation time. Or rather, it wasn’t a lack of vacation days, but a lack of days they could actually take off.

They were all so busy that leave requests were almost never approved.

But no matter how busy, they were supposed to at least get the New Year off.

But today…

A single phone call had recalled every police officer in Jiangsan City who was at home enjoying the Spring Festival holiday.

“We conducted the fastest possible examination of the reported item. We’ve determined that it’s definitely not from an animal. It’s…”

The scene was Zhang Niu’s temporarily rented apartment.

Zhao Shui, dark circles hanging under his eyes, had been dragged here by a call from Li Jianye. He looked exhausted, but his gaze was fixed intently on the item inside a sealed evidence bag.

It was an intestine.

Pale and soft, with a hint of reddish-pink.

To the touch, it felt somewhat soft, but not smooth.

The large intestine isn’t smooth. You can always grab ahold of your friend’s and feel for yourself.

The surface of the large intestine has numerous folds and textures. It feels slightly coarse to the touch, though not noticeably so. This is because it must constantly contract and expand during digestion to propel waste forward.

‘Hm, the resilience is pretty good. You could use it to hang yourself.’

Of course, with good resilience comes a certain springiness, a texture that would feel slightly al dente.

In beef or pork offal shops, the large intestine is often a bestseller; it’s a favorite for many people.

But are the intestines ever washed completely clean?

This brings up a bizarre point: if the large intestine is washed so clean that there’s no trace of feces left, aficionados find it utterly bland.

But if there is… well, that’s tantamount to eating pig or cow shit.

In this particular case, however, that wasn’t a concern.

Because…

“It’s human,” Zhao Shui said slowly, his eyes grim, staring intently at the culprit that had ruined his Spring Festival holiday. “Based on our on-site analysis, this is a human large intestine. It’s a complete large intestine, not a small section removed during surgery. Furthermore, judging by its condition, it wasn’t taken from a corpse.”

“It came from a living person… who is probably dead by now.”

By now, Zhang Niu’s spacious flat—which he’d been living in for less than a week—was crowded with police officers.

Two homeless children stood timidly to one side, unwashed and grimy, their faces a mask of bewilderment.

CLICK!

Several officers were documenting the scene with cameras.

The police response had been swift.

As soon as Zhao Shui arrived, his first task had been to determine if it was human.

How could he tell?

Say you found a large intestine on the street. Superficially, it might look like any other. You might even take it home, cook it up into a nice braised dish, and eat it.

But if you wanted to tell whether it was human or pig…

The method is actually quite simple.

First off, human and pig large intestines are very similar. Their structure and length are roughly approximate, so you can’t tell them apart at a glance. Of course, with the wide variety of pig breeds, this isn’t a universal rule; some might be obviously different.

Typically, when comparing the cecum and colon, a pig’s colon is shorter, and its cecum is wider.

Furthermore, a pig’s intestine is better at digesting fiber, thanks to special microorganisms and enzymes.

You can use these methods to figure out if your friend is a pig.

If you pull out their intestines and they match that description, well, then your friend is probably a pig.

Of course, besides all that, there’s a much simpler, more efficient method.

Check the shit!

The intestine is full of shit. You can’t tell anything just by looking at the organ itself.

But if you look at the shit, you can.

Humans and pigs eat different diets. Therefore, the shit stored inside their intestines is also different. You could tell which is which at a glance, no detailed analysis required.

“When is Captain Li getting here?” Zhao Shui asked a nearby officer.

“The Captain is on his way from the village now,” the officer replied awkwardly.

Li Jianye was still on his way. He’d been at home celebrating the New Year and had rushed straight here upon hearing the news, without even changing into his uniform.

“What about Advisor Xu?”

“They’re on the way. Should be here any minute…”

Speak of the devil.

The officer hadn’t even finished his sentence when several figures appeared in the doorway.

Chu Linhai, Xu Huo… Wang Chao.

The three of them were here.

“Have you found the body?” Chu Linhai was the first to speak. He took one look at the intestine, and his expression hardened as he asked in a low voice.

“We can’t get anything out of them,” Zhao Shui shook his head and spoke in a low voice, gesturing toward the two children. “The suspects are too young. They’re undergoing psychological counseling for now.”

The two homeless children were completely dazed, utterly overwhelmed. They just stood there, seemingly deaf to any questions the police asked.