How You Can Sue Me for My Crimes in Dreams

Date: June 24, 1989

Summer

Prologue: “Ghost Knocking on the Door”

Evening. 8:30 p.m.

THUD!

“You son of a bitch! If you dare say a word, I’ll fucking kill you!”

“You’d better act like you saw nothing today…”

In the summer of 1989, a boy was shoved against a tree.

THUD!

His back slammed hard against the tree. Before he could fall, a hand seized him by the collar.

A face, savage yet still childish, pressed close to his own.

“You still have a grandpa at home, right?!”

“You’d better watch it. If you really dare to talk, when I get out, I’ll bring some guys and we’ll kill that old bastard, too!”

With that, the person let him go. The boy, with no strength left to stand, slumped to the ground, his back against the tree.

“Ptooey! You’re such a fucking coward! Just look at you!”

I stared blankly as he walked away, still muttering curses, until he disappeared from sight.

This was farmland in the countryside. The road was flanked by trees and crops, the path underfoot nothing but gravel.

My name is Zhang Jiayu—a rather delicate name. Right now, I was slumped on the dirt, back against a tree, head tilted up as I stared blankly at the scattered stars in the sky.

After a long moment.

A rustling sound came from the cornfield.

A moment later, a girl in tattered clothes emerged. She was silent, her head bowed as she straightened her clothing.

This was a cornfield.

It was also known as the Cyan Gauze Screen.

I didn’t know the girl; I’d only seen her a couple of times at school.

I recognized those three men, too.

They were local hooligans. A few of them were her classmates, and they must have been the ones who described her to the thugs.

The farmland was silent at night, the only sound the chirping of crickets. A few graves stood nearby, looking exceptionally quiet.

The girl didn’t look at the bruised and swollen Zhang Jiayu. She simply walked away into the distance in silence.

Only Zhang Jiayu remained on the road, slumped on the ground, staring blankly at the twinkling stars.

After a long while.

I got to my feet. I felt no anger, no sadness—just a silent, lonely walk home.

…

…

My name is Zhang Jiayu. I don’t have parents. My mother left for her college entrance exams and never came back. My father was an alcoholic who died from liver disease.

My family fell deep into debt paying for his treatment. To repay it, my grandparents collected trash on their three-wheeled cart, until one day they were hit by a car.

My grandma died on the spot.

Miraculously, my Grandpa was fine.

The driver fled. Back in the 80s, anyone who could afford a car was someone you didn’t mess with. And with no security cameras, a person’s death just became a forgotten matter.

From then on, my official family file listed only two people.

My Grandpa, and me.

‘I don’t understand what I did to deserve this.’

“What happened to your face?”

When I got home, Grandpa was standing at the door, his gaunt, dark-skinned figure holding an oil lamp.

“I fell,” I said.

Grandpa was silent for a moment before turning away. “Be more careful next time.”

Our home was barely furnished.

That is, if you could even call it a home.

The wind blew through the walls and rain leaked through the roof. It was less a house and more a rickety shack; a strong gust of wind might just send the whole place flying into the sky.

But even though life was hard, you had to look forward.

Grandpa would say, “When you make something of yourself, Grandpa will finally get to relax. We’ll move into a big house, eat meat every day, and feast on big steamed buns at every meal…”

Whenever Grandpa said those things, I would lie in bed with my eyes open, watching the bright stars peek through the cracks in the roof.

Even though Grandpa had said it countless times, I still didn’t understand.

Why had I never met my parents, not for as long as I could remember?

Why did not having parents mean I had to be bullied?

Why did people always want to make him crawl between their legs?

And…

Why, after that day, did I never see that girl again?

The girl I had seen a few times disappeared. She was gone from school.

I tried asking around about her. Her family hadn’t made a scene, nor had they called the police.

They chose to let the matter die down. The girl’s father felt that reporting it would be humiliating, a loss of face. So he pulled her out of school and made her stay home to do chores.

I didn’t understand. I remained silent for a very long time.

Maybe…

‘Was I the one who was wrong?’

Later, Grandpa’s words echoed in my head.

‘When you make something of yourself…’

In that moment, it was as if I finally understood something.

‘Maybe… if I make something of myself, things won’t be this way?’

I knew that if I wanted to achieve that, the only way was to study.

But I didn’t set my sights on college.

It wasn’t practical for me. School costs money, and I didn’t even have enough for high school.

So, I turned my attention to Vocational School.

Once I had a goal, my monotonous, unchanging life began to shift, if only slightly.

Wake up—collect bottles—eat—go to school—wait for a bit at the school gate—go home.

There were always thugs hanging around the school gate.

A boy with no parents and only a grandfather, I became the perfect target for a hoodlum named Zhang Wei to make a name for himself.

And so, getting beaten up became a new part of my daily routine.

Of course, it hurt at first.

After a while, once I got used to the beatings, I learned to run into an alley and curl up, burying my head in a corner.

That way, their attacks only landed on my back, and after it happened enough times, I stopped feeling the pain.

Sometimes my mind would wander, and I’d think about that girl’s situation.

Once, I caught a glimpse of her from afar.

She was farming in the fields. Her stomach was unnaturally large, yet she was still carrying a hoe, tilling the soil. She had become quiet and withdrawn. Sometimes I thought she saw me, but her eyes looked right through me, seeing nothing at all.

Later, I heard a rumor that she’d married an old bachelor. I never knew if it was true.

After that, I never saw her again.

What I saw instead was a different scene entirely.