I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

System notification: “Fake Daoist Priest Little An has joined the group.”

However, the group seemed to be discussing something very interesting, as a flood of messages immediately drowned out the notification announcing An Lin’s arrival.

An Lin was more than happy to be an invisible bystander, surveying the conversation with curiosity.

Daoist Wooden Ox: “I still don’t believe the twin-color ball for next time is going to be this number!”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “It’s up to you whether you believe it or not, but I have to tell you, my dream clairvoyance is accurate to the point that even I’m feeling a little shocked! I’ve been watching my lottery ticket every night before I sleep and only after all this time have I dreamt of the number on the twin-color ball. Anyway, I’ve already bought a hundred tickets, I’m gonna absolutely drain the prize pool!”

An Lin: “…”

Dreamy Voice Fairy: “You don’t say, Crack Shot Clairvoyant’s dream clairvoyance has extremely high accuracy! Last time he dreamt of himself taking a holiday in the East Sea where he encountered an earthquake and drowned to death in the ensuing tsunami. He pissed his bed upon waking up!

“And then only a few days later, there really were a few level nine earthquakes and tsunamis on the Japanese coast. Wooden Ox, Clairvoyant just gave you a great chance to win big, he’s essentially gifting you money, who wouldn’t accept that?”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant was a little indignant. “Hey, hey, I know you’re complimenting me, but did you have to bring up my tendency to piss my bed?”

Atomic Bomb Fairy sent a smiling emoji. “Everyone already knows about you pissing your bed from your master. This isn’t exactly a secret; it’s a well-known fact to everyone in the group, so what’s there to be shy about?”

An Lin: “…”

Well-known to everyone? I don’t know about this!

Speaking of which, even immortals piss their bed! Even if it was a nightmare, that’s still a little too preposterous, is it not?

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “Whatever, seeing as Wooden Ox doesn’t want this opportunity, I’ll reserve it for The Savior. @The Savior, you there?”

Golden Jade: “The Savior has gone to America to steal some cutting-edge military technology, he’s not available!”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant sent a fearful emoji. “The last time he went to America, he messed around with their nuclear missile launching programs and added a spell formation to the nuclear missile during its launch. What has he gone to do this time?”

Golden Jade replied with a smiling emoji. “I don’t know!”

The cultivators in the group all had mixed reactions to this, some sending worried emojis, others sending emojis roaring with laughter.

As for An Lin, he was completely stupefied.

Messing around with a nuclear missile launching program!? Adding spell formations on nuclear missiles!? Stealing cutting-edge military technology!?

Holy f*ck, are these cultivators really protecting Earth? Is this really not a group of cultivators with the Earth’s destruction as their objective?

An Lin felt like he’d just joined a fake cultivator group.

He silently moved his finger toward the ‘Delete and Leave’ icon…

At this moment, a message suddenly popped up in the group chat.

Tian Lingling: “May I please have everyone’s attention for a moment? Let’s welcome the newest addition to our group, ‘Fake Daoist Priest Little An’!”

Dreamy Voice Fairy: “Oh yeah, I saw that he’d just joined the group but didn’t get a chance to ask about him. May I please ask which sect you are from?”

None of the people that were able to join this group for the Hua Nation’s top cultivators were lacking in strength and status, hence the reason for Dreamy Voice Fairy’s question.

Seeing as someone in the group had just asked him a question, An Lin naturally had to give a reply.

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Er, sect… does the Heavenly Court count?”

Dreamy Voice Fairy: “…”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “…”

Daoist Wooden Ox: “…”

Atomic Bomb Fairy: “…”

Even Golden Jade who was normally very sparing with her words couldn’t help but ask, “Could it be that you’re from the Heavenly Court?”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “Holy f*ck! The immortal ambassadors are here!”

Immediately after this, he seemed to realize something and immediately corrected himself. “Oh wait, no! What I meant was, I’d like to welcome the respected immortal ambassador in joining us to direct our work!”

Dreamy Voice Fairy: “Welcome, immortal ambassador!”

Atomic Bomb Fairy: “Welcome, immortal ambassador!”

Golden Jade: “Welcome, immortal ambassador!”

Enlightened Lazurite: “Welcome, immortal ambassador!”

…

Countless group members originally in hiding began to appear in the chat, lining up to initiate a welcome ceremony…

There was close to a hundred cultivators in the group, and at this moment almost half of them appeared to join in on the procession.

The rest of them were probably either in seclusion or doing something else and have hence remained silent.

An Lin was startled by the cultivators’ warm welcome. There were often cultivators from the Heavenly Court sent to the mortal world to complete assignments, so it certainly wasn’t uncommon for them to come into interaction with the Hua Nation military forces as well as cultivators in the mortal world. Were they always this enthusiastic when meeting an immortal ambassador?

What he did not know was, Tian Lingling’s decision to add him to the group was actually a spur of the moment one.

Cultivators sent from the Heavenly Court in the past were either reluctant to use WeChat or felt like it wasn’t necessary to call upon the power of the cultivators in the mortal world. Hence, they very rarely joined groups like this. For someone like An Lin to join this group was an event that had not taken place even once in the past year.

Enlightened Lazurite: “Respected immortal embassador, may I please ask what your Dao title is?”

Although many of the cultivators in the group used their Dao titles as nicknames, it was clear that ‘Fake Daoist Priest Little An’ was not An Lin’s Dao title.

An Lin blinked as he considered the question, as this was something that he’d never thought about before.

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “I don’t have a Dao title yet, everyone can just call me An Lin.”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “Sure, no problem, is this your first visit to the mortal world, Master An? If you have anything you’d like to know, we’d be more than happy to help you out!”

All the cultivators in the group scrambled to express their agreement, clearly regarding An Lin as some sort of noble immortal.

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Mr. Clairvoyant, please don’t refer to me as master, I’m only nineteen years of age! In truth, I lived in the mortal world for more than eighteen years and have only recently gone to study in the Heavenly Court!”

Everyone in the group fell silent due to shock.

Enlightened Lazurite: “For a cultivator of the mortal world to be able to study in the Heavenly Court, this is the first time I’ve heard of such a thing…”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant immediately followed up. “And to think that Mr. An is so young! It’s amazing that you’ve achieved so much at your age!”

Those who were able to assume the role of the immortal ambassador were all cultivators of great strength. Many of the students of The United University of Cultivation could not earn an opportunity to visit the mortal world even once before they graduated, thereby demonstrating just how rigorous the conditions were.

If you were to ask, why did these students that could not come to the mortal world still have to take the subject ‘mortal studies’, wasn’t this an unnecessary waste of time?

To answer this question, An Lin felt it was best to use the Hua Nation’s education policies as a means of explanation.

Many students have studied English for over ten years, but how many opportunities have they had to converse with native English speakers?

The people of the Hua Nation could only hype themselves up by conversing in English with one another, or through watching some English films, or by completing English exam questions.

Those who could exercise their English skills in a practical environment were still very few after all…

Dreamy Voice Fairy: “Mr. An, where did you study before going to the Heavenly Court?”

The members of the group were also quite curious to hear An Lin’s reply.

To be able to produce such a prodigious young talent, the sect that he originated from must be quite a renowned one too.

After all, this could be considered to be a big event for the whole mortal cultivator society.

An Lin scratched his head helplessly at these questions. Who was his teacher before he went to the Heavenly Court?

Professor Chen from Hua Qing University?

Or was he supposed to list off all the teachers that he’s had since kindergarten?

It was very obvious that this was not what they were asking…

Hence, An Lin could only answer truthfully.

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Um, prior to going to the Heavenly Court, I hadn’t yet begun cultivating. Haha, now that I think about it, I’ve only been cultivating for about six months.”

An Lin was actually pretty embarrassed to admit this. For someone like him who’d only been cultivating for a mere six months to be held in such high regard by these veteran cultivators, even though he had thick skin, he was still feeling quite embarrassed.

However, no one took notice of his admission; all of them were only staring at one part in his reply: “Six months!”

Golden Jade: “Forgive me for asking, Mr. An, but how far has your cultivation progressed?”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Er, not very far… I’m only at the Ninth Stage Dao Body.”

Golden Jade almost spat out a mouthful of blood onto the computer screen upon seeing this reply.

Not very f*cking high!

The group chat, previously bustling with messages suddenly fell silent.

All the cultivators were staring, transfixed on the terms ‘six months’ and ‘Ninth Stage Dao Body’.

Tian Lingling even went as far as to throw her phone to the side before turning to Xu Xiaolan in excitement. “Sister Lanlan, I need to ask you a question. What level cultivation base was An Lin when he first came to the Heavenly Court, and what level is he now?”

Xu Xiaolan smile lightly. “He had zero cultivation base when he first arrived at the Heavenly Court, but now he’s already at Ninth Stage Dao Body. He’s one of the big celebrities at The United University of Cultivation, so don’t underestimate him!”

An Lin shook his head, the subject of her question was sitting right here, so why did Tian Lingling feel the need to ask Xu Xiaolan instead!?

Did he really have such low credibility?

Compared to An Lin’s exasperation, Tian Lingling was in a state of shock.

She had been cultivating for more than ten years before finally bringing her cultivation base up to Eighth Stage Dao Body, a stage far superior to her peers. This made her develop great confidence in her aptitude for cultivation.

But An Lin reached Ninth Stage Dao Body in a short span of six months?

Tears began to well up in Tian Lingling’s eyes as her confidence shattered into pieces.

A long while later, she picked up her phone and began to type with trembling fingers.

Tian Lingling: “Everyone, I’ve just confirmed with another immortal ambassador.

“I’ve received confirmation from her that An Lin spoke the truth. He really has only cultivated for six months, during which he grew to the Ninth Stage Dao Body from no cultivation base at all!”

Tian Lingling’s words were like a bomb exploding on the surface of a tranquil lake.

All the cultivators that had been shocked into silence by An Lin all exploded into a frenzy again!