Take Me Away, Dark Lord!

”Guards!”

No answer.

”HELP!”

Nothing.

”Somebody help me! The room is haunted! The paper is alive! Get me out of here!”

Still no answer.

Then—

Two violet eyes appeared.

Then four.

Ten.

Twenty.

Fifty.

A hundred.

The room was filled with glowing eyes.

Ten. Twenty. Fifty. A hundred pairs of glowing, ominous eyes ignited in the pitch-black room, surrounding the terrified spy, boxing her in, staring at her with the cold, unfeeling malice of an alien intelligence.

Genevieve’s mind finally reached its limit.

She screamed.

”The paper is alive!”

And promptly fainted.

She slid down the door and landed unconscious on the carpet, her mind completely shattered by the psychological horror of the Duck Service Squad.

Genevieve did what any highly trained spy would do when faced with a coordinated swarm of glowing, haunted origami.

The ducks remained silent.

Bartholomew’s consciousness sighed.

’Humans are remarkably fragile.’

Sir Reginald replied:

’Should we wake her?’

’No.’

A pause.

’Let her enjoy the consequences of her career choice.’

***

Inside the master bedroom, Seraphina von Nacht was comfortably snuggled beneath the heavy silk duvet.

She wasn’t asleep, but she was incredibly relaxed.

Her eyes were closed, her breathing steady, as she maintained the telepathic link with her spectral network.

She was treating the entire operation like a highly complex, beautifully optimized algorithmic problem, processing the data flowing back to her with the efficiency of a supercomputer.

’Target neutralized,’ Bartholomew’s dignified, echoing voice chimed in her mind.

’The spy has lost consciousness. She possesses zero fortitude. Frankly, I am insulted the Empress sent such a brittle operative into our domain.’

’Good work, Butt-tolomeow,’

’Please stop calling me that.’

’No.’

A long pause.

’Understood, My Sovereign.’

Seraphina transmitted back, suppressing a real-world giggle.

’Secure the intelligence. I want every single scrap of paper in that room documented and cataloged.’

’Executing search parameters, My Sovereign,’

Sir Reginald, the headless knight, reported.

’My squad has breached the false bottom of her vanity drawer.’

Seraphina’s eyes opened slightly.

’Contents?’

’We have located a decryption cipher, a list of known Imperial informants within the military supply lines, and a small vial of untraceable, slow-acting poison.’

Seraphina’s mental projection grew significantly colder at the mention of the poison.

’Confiscate the poison,’ Seraphina ordered sharply.

’And copy the cipher.’

’Yes.’

’Do not take the original documents; leave them exactly where they were. We do not want her to know her cover is completely blown.’

Bartholomew understood immediately.

’You intend to allow her to continue reporting?’

’We are going to let her continue to write her reports. But from now on, we read them before they are sent. We control the narrative.’

’A flawless counter-intelligence strategy,’ Bartholomew praised, awe evident in his spectral tone. ’You are turning the enemy’s own eyes into our weapon. We shall act as the invisible editors of her treason.’

’That is... horrifyingly clever.’

Seraphina grinned beneath the blanket.

’Thank you.’

For the next two hours, the Duck Service Squad executed an absolute, total-coverage sweep of the Capital Estate.

They used an optimized, algorithmic patrol route, a flawless O(NlogN) pathfinding sequence that Seraphina had mentally mapped over the mansion’s 50,000-square-foot grid.

The ducks phased through the walls, avoiding overlapping coverage, checking every single servant’s quarters, every supply closet, and every administrative office.

They established an ironclad authentication workflow.

If a servant possessed mundane, loyal intentions, their ’issue’ was closed.

If a servant possessed suspicious correspondence, a secondary squad of ducks was assigned to monitor them 24/7.

They found two more low-level informants: a stable boy passing messages to a minor Count, and a junior cook paid to report on the Vanguard’s patrol rotations.

Seraphina logged them all.

She mentally arranged the intelligence into a vast, intricate character profile chart, identifying the factions, tracing the lines of loyalty, and isolating the vulnerabilities of her enemies.

She wasn’t just cleaning house. She was mapping the entire political battlefield of the Imperial Capital without ever leaving her bed.

By the time the grandfather clock in the hallway chimed three in the morning, the operation was complete.

’All hostile elements identified and permanently monitored, My Sovereign,’ Bartholomew reported, his voice ringing with profound, victorious pride. ’The Nacht Estate is secure. The Duck Service Squad awaits further commands.’

’Return to base and power down,’ Seraphina instructed, a wave of heavy, genuine exhaustion finally washing over her. ’Hide in the wardrobe. Do not let anyone see you. We will review the decryption ciphers tomorrow after breakfast.’

’It shall be done. Rest well, Queen of the Shadows.’

’And don’t wake me unless something important happens.’

’Define important.’

Seraphina thought.

’Someone trying to kill Papa.’

A pause.

’Or someone stealing my snacks.’

Another pause.

’Actually, prioritize the snacks.’

’Understood.’

The telepathic link faded.

The faint, violet glow behind her closed eyelids faded entirely.

She let out a long, deep, incredibly satisfied sigh.

She curled onto her side, pulling the silk blankets tighter around her shoulders, cuddling closer to the sleeping pink ember-puppy, Ignis.

Her eyelids grew heavy.

Outside her room, Sebastian remained on guard.

Inside her wardrobe, a hundred paper ducks waited silently.

And somewhere in the East Wing, Lady Genevieve was still unconscious on her bedroom floor.

The Imperial Capital was a city of vipers, built on secrets, poison, and lies.

The Emperor thought he had the Archduke of the North surrounded.

The nobles thought they could manipulate the terrifying warlord by exploiting his newly adopted, naive little daughter.

As Seraphina finally drifted off into a genuine, deep, peaceful sleep, a soft, incredibly smug smile touched her lips.

’Checkmate.’

Then she remembered something.

’Wait.’

Her eyes opened halfway.

’I need to make duck uniforms tomorrow.’

That was her final thought before sleep finally claimed her.

The mastermind of the North drifted peacefully into dreamland.

And inside the wardrobe...

One hundred tiny paper ducks stood at attention.

Waiting for morning.

They were all playing checkers in the dirt.

And they had absolutely no idea that the six-year-old girl sleeping in the master suite had just quietly, efficiently, and ruthlessly seized control of the entire board.

The spider was now the master of the web, and when the sun rose, the Capital was going to learn exactly why you never, ever mess with the Sovereign’s ducks.

***

The Imperial Palace of the Capital was widely considered the architectural jewel of the known world. It was a gravity-defying marvel of floating spires, white marble promenades, and domed ceilings gilded in pure gold.

To the high nobility, it was paradise.

To Duke Kaelus von Nacht, it was a meticulously decorated, aggressively boring prison cell.

The Archduke of the North had been trapped inside the High Council’s primary deliberation chamber for exactly forty-eight hours. Two days and two nights of mind-numbing bureaucratic filibustering.

The Emperor had not attended the sessions personally, a classic, cowardly power play, leaving Kaelus to navigate a swamp of sycophantic ministers and cowardly counts who debated grain tariffs and border logistics with the agonizing pace of wounded snails.

It was a deliberate stalling tactic.

The Capital was testing the leash, trying to see how long they could keep the terrifying Leviathan chained to a mahogany table while his fortress and his daughter remained vulnerable across the city.

By the dawn of the third day, the temperature inside the High Council chamber had plummeted to a degree that clearly violated several laws of thermodynamics.

The breath of the Minister of Agriculture was fogging in the air.

The ornate, solid-gold inkwells on the massive circular table had frozen solid, cracking under the pressure of the expanding ink. Several elderly lords were shivering violently, wrapping their fur-lined velvet cloaks tightly around their trembling shoulders.

Kaelus sat at the far end of the table.

He had not slept. He had not eaten.

His posture was rigid.

His midnight-blue coat was immaculate, his silver epaulettes gleaming in the frosty air.

But his violet eyes... his eyes were no longer merely glowing.

They were actively burning with a dark, radioactive, homicidal intensity that seemed to suck the very light out of the opulent room.

He was staring a hole directly through the skull of the Minister of Finance, who was currently stammering through page forty-two of a nuanced proposal regarding the taxation of Northern exports.

”...and furthermore, section eighteen, subsection C, implies that the Vanguard’s processing facilities must submit to bi-annual Capital oversight to ensure... to ensure...”

The Minister’s voice trailed off into a pathetic squeak.