Omni-Anime: I Stand at the Forefront of Popularity

Chapter 42: Chapter 43: She Really Did That—I’m Crying

”Come in.”

At the Third’s call, Tazuna pushed open the door and walked in, sake bottle in hand.

”What’s going on? Just a bunch of brats?” He looked the group over and took a pull from his bottle. ”Especially the shortest one—super looks like an idiot. You’re really a ninja?”

Tazuna’s verbal tic on his first appearance was that habitual ”super”—same as a certain girl from a certain Magical Index who had the exact same habit.

”Who are you calling the shortest?” Naruto planted his fists on his hips.

Sasuke and Hanabi quietly drifted closer.

”Huh?”

Then Naruto realized—Sasuke and Hanabi were both... taller than him?

Sasuke was the tallest of the three. Naruto was second. The shortest, technically, was Hanabi.

But Hanabi’s sandals had heels—and not low ones—which put her apparent height roughly level with Sasuke’s.

”I’m going to kill you!”

Naruto was seconds from exploding, but Kakashi caught him by the collar. ”Why are you threatening the man we’re supposed to be protecting, idiot?”

[Dying—when the height conversation started, those two just silently drifted over]

[I’m filing a complaint. Hanabi cheated. She’s wearing heels!]

[Not just Hanabi—Sasuke pulled the same move. Drifted right over]

[HAHAHAHA]

[Don’t forget they’re all twelve—this tracks completely]

The audience dissolved into commentary while Tazuna launched into his introduction.

”I’m a super-famous bridge-builder. ’Tazuna’ is the name. While I’m traveling back home to finish my bridge, you lot are going to super protect me with your lives.”

With that, Team Seven accepted the assignment and prepared to move out.

But Hanabi stepped toward the Third before leaving.

”Something the matter, Hanabi?” The Third was still flipping through paperwork for other assignments.

”Third Hokage-sama, I’d like to ask you something.”

”Oh? What is it?”

”It’s about—”

[Does she know something?]

[She spotted something again]

[And the scene cuts—]

[Cameraman, no bonus for you!]

Hanabi hadn’t expected the Stage to give her extra camera time.

Unfortunately, before the audience could see what she was after, the shot cut to two figures in black darting through the trees. The pair moved fast, weaving through the forest—easy to read as either an incoming conspiracy or a visual echo of Hanabi’s unspoken question.

”What I want to know is,” Hanabi continued, ”if we discover mid-mission that the actual difficulty exceeds the briefing—assuming we still complete the mission—is it logged at the rank we accepted, or the rank of what we actually faced?”

”If the client withheld information, or if circumstances beyond your control cause the mission to exceed its stated difficulty, you can request support or withdraw. If you complete it, it’s logged based on the conditions at the time of the request.” The Third’s brow furrowed slightly. ”Are you concerned that Tazuna may be hiding something?”

Hanabi didn’t answer. She asked instead: ”It isn’t adjusted to reflect the actual difficulty?”

The Third considered. ”If the client acknowledges the discrepancy and covers the difference in fees, the record can be updated accordingly.”

”Then I have no further questions.” Hanabi smiled, offered a small bow, and walked out.

The Third set down his pipe.

He had confidence in Hanabi.

”What was that about, sir?” Iruka looked puzzled.

”It seems Hanabi noticed something. But I expect it’s within her abilities to handle.” He sighed faintly. ”I didn’t expect her to be even bolder than Naruto. Well—I just hope she doesn’t overreach.”

As far as the Third was concerned, Hanabi had spotted something and was angling for a higher-tier completion record—not satisfied with a single C-rank credit when a B-rank was possible. That was his read.

”Is that really all right?” Iruka, less comfortable with the Third’s hands-off attitude, was already worried.

”With Kakashi there, it’s fine.”

Even an A-rank mission wouldn’t be a problem with Kakashi along. And the Third knew a little about Hanabi’s situation—she was gifted. Fresh out of the Academy, but capable of holding her own against a standard Chūnin without much trouble.

It wasn’t as if they’d run into an S-rank mission. That was impossible. Right? Absolutely impossible?

”Naruto... Hanabi... Sasuke...” Only Iruka was still worried.

Meanwhile, the fully assembled Team Seven had gathered at the village gate.

Naruto and Sasuke both shouldered large packs.

Hanabi, however, looked conspicuously out of place.

She had draped herself in a katsuginu—a draped outer wrap worn over the head, popular among women traveling outdoors during the Warring States era. Less a garment in the conventional sense, more like a bed sheet or large cloth draped over everything.

The katsuginu covered Hanabi’s head and the kimono beneath. And to complete the picture, she was holding a cloth doll.

”Hanabi, what are you...?” Naruto walked over, baffled.

”Mm, travel attire. Can’t exactly walk around holding a parasol the whole time I’m away from the village.”

Carrying a red parasol as a sunshade was part of the ”personal image” Hanabi had carefully cultivated. But for an extended trip, it wasn’t practical.

”You don’t super look like a ninja dressed like that.” Tazuna wandered over.

If anything, Hanabi looked less like a ninja and more like some sheltered young lady from a noble household.

”That’s the point.” Kakashi stepped up beside them. ”Hanabi’s playing the part of a female family member, isn’t she.”

”Oh—oh! Obviously! As expected of Hanabi!” Naruto’s eyes lit up.

It was true—dressed like this, Hanabi looked nothing like a ninja.

Standing next to Tazuna, though, she looked perfectly natural—like a female relative traveling with him.

”...But somehow it feels more like a young mistress and her servant.” Sasuke muttered it under his breath—not out loud, of course. But the show’s camera caught it anyway.

[So Sasuke is the straight man of this group]

[Dying—my mouthpiece, Two-Pillar]

[Wait, what does ”two-pillar” mean?]

[I had no idea Sasuke was like this]

[Hanabi looks sweet, but she’s black-hearted]

[I think Hanabi is getting back at Naruto on his behalf—Tazuna couldn’t tell who was shortest, but now Tazuna’s basically become Hanabi’s attendant. She really did that—I’m crying]

[She really did that—I’m crying... okay I actually laughed myself sick]

The audience erupted in delighted commentary.

Tazuna himself hadn’t noticed the implication.

”But dressed like that, won’t you just slow us down? A kimono’s not made for travel.”

”Don’t underestimate a ninja, Tazuna-san. Hanabi’s the fastest one here.” Kakashi smiled pleasantly.

”I super don’t understand anything about you ninja people.”

Half-understanding, Tazuna gave a vague nod, and the group set off from the village.

”All right—let’s go!” Naruto surged ahead, the first one through Konoha’s gate. His first time leaving the village on a real mission. No wonder he was buzzing.

”Is this kid really going to be okay?” Tazuna took another swig.

”I’m going to be Hokage someday—don’t write me off!” Naruto planted his fists on his hips.

”You think the Hokage’s your village’s super strongest ninja, do you? I don’t see someone like you pulling that off.” Tazuna drank again.

”Shut it! Someday I’ll be Hokage, and everyone will acknowledge me—even you, old man!”

Naruto shook his fist.

”Even if you make Hokage, I still won’t acknowledge you.” Tazuna remained unimpressed.

”I’ll kill you!” Naruto was about to explode again, only to be caught by Kakashi.

”Sir—that’s enough of that. You don’t have to force yourself to keep drinking. Drinking to forget only makes things harder once you sober up.”

Hanabi spoke softly from beside Tazuna.

At those quiet words, Tazuna froze, his sake bottle raised halfway.

[Right in the heart]

[One-hit kill]

[Clean finish]

[Four-character death squad?]

[Disrupting the formation]

The audience kept joking.

And Team Seven stepped out onto the road.

The Land of Waves—a nation that kept to itself, too small to draw the major powers’ interest, without even any ninjas.

An enclosed island nation, sealed off by the sea.

...Perfect conditions for causing trouble.