In This Rebirth, The Male Lead Is Mine [BL]

Above the sky of an unknown gate lay a huge door. The door looked as ancient as the universe, with incomprehensible symbols occasionally flickering, and a massive amount of mana could be felt surrounding it that a wisp of smoke could be seen by the naked eye.

The concentration of mana in this place was so huge that anyone who made contact with it without preparation would dissipate into nothingness, regardless of their rank.

Despite that, the place seemed too calm without emitting a dangerous aura, giving the image of a solemn paradise. The big door, which looked ancient, appeared not to be influenced by time itself. It was firmly shut, seemingly having not been opened for an unknown amount of time.

The same with the place itself, undeterred by the changes of the outside world.

However, at this very moment, a tremor suddenly shifted the atmosphere, and mana quickly gathered around the door as if awaiting someone’s arrival. However, this change only lasted for two seconds before everything returned to calm.

Again, the place reverted to becoming peaceful as if nothing had happened. Only that if one looked closely, the door was slightly ajar, too small to even notice, but still there.

What changes it brought, no one knew.

At this time, Rise had just woken up from a deep sleep. It was not without dreams. In his dream, he was constantly running to who knows where. When his frustrations peaked, he would suddenly find himself at the starting line.

It was an absurd dream, but somehow it could relate to what he was going through. A life that leads nowhere but has to repeat for some reason. He did not know where it ended, so perhaps that represented a lot.

Rise stopped running at some point and looked ahead of him. He was breathing hard and sweating so much, but his expression remained unchanged.

What truly lies ahead? Was he doing the right thing?

Suddenly, what Kamille echoed inside his mind again.

No matter what he changes, nothing will change in the end.

He found those absurd and frustrating, but in this repetitive nonsense, Rise began to realize it. If he tried to change direction, would things change?

No, he would just return to the starting point, as what awaited him was nothing.

Nothing.

So, why persevere?

Simple, he had his goals, right? He hated becoming a puppet, too.

But... Rise took a deep breath and looked ahead for a few seconds before turning around, running to the starting point. He ran like crazy and passed the starting point.

He then closed his eyes and let his feet run wherever. Throughout the dream, he was running endlessly. He did not know the destination; he could not even see what his surroundings were.

Yet, when he ran blindly, he felt his surroundings and the temperature around him slowly change. His feet now made contact with something hot, then cold, before it was wet, and he paused.

Water droplets could be heard, and then the sounds of the waves, loud and almost roaring. Rise guessed he was in the ocean. But when he ran forward, he did not feel himself submerged in water; instead, the wetness disappeared, and his feet now landed on the grains of sand.

Chaotic. Unpredictable.

This was what happened after running without looking in the direction. Only his own feet. It was risky for sure, but the result was different from following a certain path and looking to an uncertain destination.

Rise gradually paused; the chill and cold seeped through his bones into his soul. His whole body was trembling, but he did not move forward and remained where he stood.

He let the coldness numb his feelings and reason. Eventually, a laughter resounded through the space, it was crazy and maniacal. A laugh that could be associated with that of a devil.

Rise laughed harder until his breathing left him. Slowly, he caught his breath.

Wow, that was a good laugh under the influence of the chilling wind. He felt numb all over, but strangely, his mind was so active. All the things he had overlooked suddenly flashed over him, almost drowning him, earning a curse from him.

”He’s right.” Rise spoke out loud amidst the clattering of his teeth. His lips twitched, wanting to smile but unable to do so. ”But also isn’t.”

What he had been doing all along was so wrong, too dumb, even. Rise only got one thing right, and one thing that he always wanted. Kamille Han.

However, he was always his pursuit, wasn’t it? Then, he was not wrong. But also not right.

Stability. Somehow, after learning he had a chance and that Kamille also liked him, Rise began to divert from his original intention. He began contradicting himself, and his approach became calculated but still... very tame.

This was his life pursuit and obsession. Rise would be careful, right? For once, he was beginning to understand.

And it seemed, the past Kamille’s timely appearance truly helped him realize it. Otherwise, everything would just be for naught. Nothing would change, as he said.

How could he be sure?

The plot remained. He changed some things, but it was still the same. Rise was only waiting... waiting for things to unfold and for Epsilon to come.

In his understanding before, that should be the right course. Wait for the plot to start before interrupting. He made changes, yes, but would all those be hurting the plot in the long run?

Idiot. Too dumb.

Rise criticizes himself. He wanted chaos, but was he truly doing that? He was already part of Dark Crimson Guild, and he was slowly becoming the Rise... the character, shaping himself as the pawn he once was.

Even if essentially that was not his intention, who would say that would not be exploited again? That was his role, his identity! The Rise of Dark Crimson Guild.

The deeper his involvement, the tighter the plot held for him.

So, this identity... was never right to begin with.

But, Kamille... was there.

This stumped him.

Where would he go from here?

Suddenly, he felt he was back to that never-ending track, without end but a clear start.

Go blind. Don’t look, and a new direction appears.

Plot.

Maybe... it was beginning to shackle him more than he realized.